AN: So, there's that chapter. I did my research for this one, too. By research, I mean I googled how to mine with pickaxes. I actually got a pretty good answer from Nanowrimo(dot)org. NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month and is completely awesome. I signed up waaaaaaaaay back in April, even though it doesn't actually start till November. Starting on Nov. 1, you have to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. It's completely insane, but still awesome. Wow, I sound like a spokesperson. I'll shut up now.
Chapter Two
"So, you take one o' these here pickaxes," began Mr. Four – it could've been Mr. Five, they're practically identical. "Then you just hit a rock until you get a nice, big crack, or perhaps a hole, it doesn't really matter. Then you get one of these wooden wedges and shove it in there as far as you can. Hit it with a sledge hammer until the rock breaks and hope that there's something good inside it." He paused. "I still can't believe you two forgot how to mine, you've been doing it practically your whole lives."
Puck, who had paled considerably at the amount of hard work mentioned, said, "You know, neither can I. Maybe we really are sick. We'll just be going back to the cottage now…"
He grabbed Sabrina's arm and was almost out of the cave when Mr. One grabbed the back of his shirt and dragged him back. "Not so fast. You were able to walk over here no problem. You're working."
They both groaned, but Sabrina, at least, picked up a pickaxe and set to work. Puck, however, had a brilliant idea. "I'll supervise," he exclaimed, clearly pleased with himself.
"Ha! Good luck with that!" said Mr. Six. "That's One's job. Anyone tries to take over, and he blows. Trust me, that dwarf's good with a pickaxe, and not just in mining terms, if you know what I mean." He proceeded to pantomime bringing the axe down on Puck's head.
Puck looked as if he wanted to cry as he grabbed an axe. "Oh, suck it up. It'll be over soon anyway," Sabrina told him. "Although, the hard work probably won't help the BO," she added under her breath. He chose to ignore that comment.
Daphne ran through the forest. She knew from reading the story that none of the animals would hurt her, but that didn't make her any less terrified. Every time she told herself that she was perfectly safe and the animals would leave her alone, an annoying little voice argued that it was possible to change the story.
Although, what would Snow White and the Seven Dwarves be like without Snow White? She distracted herself with that question until she came upon a cozy looking cottage. It was made almost completely out of stone, with the exception of the wooden flooring. Tired and hungry, Daphne stumble up the three stone steps to the door and found a dining table set with seven plates of delicious looking food. Not wanting to eat all from one plate, she only took half of the food from each plate. Hey, a girl's gotta eat.
Her hunger sated, Daphne wandered into the next room and found seven extremely comfortable looking beds. She walked down the line, examining each bed closely; the first two beds were too large; the fifth and sixth were too short and too wide; the seventh bed was about the right size, lengthwise, but was much too skinny. The third bed, however, was just right. Daphne clambered onto it and made herself comfortable. Just before she fell asleep, she said, "Please, God, please let me and Sabrina and Puck rescue our baby brother. Oh, and also let Sabrina and Puck realize they love each other. It's getting kinda annoying. Amen."
Finally, after a nice, easy day of mining – by dwarf standards, at least; Puck and Sabrina found it to be quite hard – they had once again formed a single-file line and were marching back to the cottage. However, due to their "worsening condition", Mr. One had permitted Sabrina and Puck to lag behind the others. It really hadn't been that hard to make him believe they actually were sick, what with Puck's allergic reaction to hard work (he got this disgusting rash all along his arms) and Sabrina's extreme fatigue (she'd had to do not only her share of the work, but most of Puck's as well).
"Do you think Daphne's made it to the cottage yet?" Sabrina asked him. Now was one of the rare times they could talk about anything they wanted to without worrying they'd be overheard.
"I sure hope so. I don't think I could survive another day of this torture." That was a lie. His rashes were already starting to go away.
"You do realize that, even with Daphne here, we'll still have to mine."
"WHAT?!?!?!?!" Mr. Seven, who was at the end of the line, turned to see what all the fuss was about, but quickly turned back. He didn't want to know.
"I'm assuming you've never read the story," she sighed.
"Please, readings for peasants," Puck replied haughtily.
Sabrina rolled her eyes. "Do you even know how to read?"
He shrugged. "So what if I don't? There are always other people around to do the reading for me."
She was aghast. Not once in her life had she met a person over the age of 6 who didn't know how to read. "As soon as we get out of this stupid book I'm teaching you."
"Teaching me what?"
She smacked her forehead. Jeez, he could be so stupid sometimes. "To read!"
He grimaced. "I know. I was just hoping you were joking."
"Oh yes, I'm sure that was it," she said sarcastically.
He squared his shoulders. "Do you doubt the word of the Trickster King?"
"I'm oh-so sorry, your Highness. Shall I the ground you walk on to make up for my foolishness?"
Puck replied, "That will be fine. And then you will cook my dinner."
"Thanks for fulfilling my life's dream."
He looked as if he had just experienced an epiphany. "You were joking about kissing the ground, weren't you?"
"No freakin' duh."
"As punishment, you have to do it now."
"Yeah, 'cause that's likely."
"In Faerie, you'd be beheaded for your disrespect."
"Lucky we're not in Faerie."
"I beg to differ."
"Oh, really? You want me beheaded."
"Of course I don't want you beheaded. I just think you'd be more respectful if that punishment were hanging over your head." By this time, they were shouting at each other, more out of habit than of anger.
Neither of them noticed until Mr. One appeared in front of them, "Will you two SHUT UP?! Can't you just get along for once?"
"We've been getting better," Sabrina mumbled defensively.
"Not the way I see it. One more peep out of you and we get your dinners."
"Hey! I have an idea!" shouted Mr. Five (or was it Four?) "Since they hate each other so much, why don't they kiss as punishment?"
"Yeah! That's a great idea, Five!" agreed Four. Sabrina and Puck were glaring daggers at each of them.
Mr. One chuckled. "Why not? I need some entertainment. Go on then."
Puck and Sabrina looked at each other, and then back at One. "You're not serious are you?" asked Sabrina.
He shook his head, still smiling.
They turned to one another, and just kissed each other, figuring it'd be better to get it over with fast. However, they did drag it out a bit longer than was needed, and didn't break the kiss until Mr. Six did a cat-call thirty seconds later. They didn't even blush this time. Well … maybe a little … but only when Six started telling dirty jokes.
"Let's just go home," Seven finally exclaimed. Clearly, he disapproved of Six's behavior.
The dwarves agreed with some hearty exclamations of "I'm hungry", none louder than Puck's, of course. After leaving their boots outside, they all lumbered over to the table.
"Where's all the food?" Puck asked. "This isn't enough to feed a kitten."
"How should I know?" Five began. "It was Four's turn to make dinner."
Everyone looked at him expectantly. "I swear I did my job! Every one of these plates was overflowing with food when we left!"
One stared at his plate. "Well someone ate my bread."
Everyone else did the same and found a different dinner item missing. Puck had no carrots, Sabrina had no meat, Four had no potatoes, Five had no salad, Six had no gravy, and Seven had no wine.
Sabrina knew what was happening, and Puck had been smart enough to figure it out once he got past the lack of food, but they couldn't just tell the dwarves that Daphne had been here. Where was their proof? Smiling just a bit too much, Sabrina suggested, "Maybe the thief is still here. Let's check the bedroom." Sure enough, there was Daphne sleeping comfortably on Sabrina's bed.
"Oh my, what a beautiful little girl!" cried the dwarves. Not wishing to wake her, Sabrina had to share Puck's bed, which was, thankfully, one of the larger beds.
Six, naturally, found this hilarious. "Well we all know what –"
"Just shut up, Six," interrupted Seven.
"Way to ruin a perfectly good joke," he muttered. Puck, who was definitely feeling awkward enough without the "perfectly good joke", decided to sleep on the floor.
AN: So, I'm really sorry if there are numerous grammar errors, but I'm way too tired to actually edit this right now. I never thought kayaking would be that exhausting. Oh, and wear sunscreen. Sunburns aren't fun. Trust me. Well, I'm tired so I'm gonna end this AN here... Right after this next chapter preview thingie I've decided to do:
Next Chapter: Daphne, only 7, has to cook, take care of the house, make the beds, do the laundry, sew, and knit. Sabrina injures herself mining (not in original Snow White, I'm just adding that to make it interesting), and Bunny returns!
And I'm not making the chore list up, it's in the story.