A/N: Yay!!! Another chapter in less than 24 hours! I'm so proud of myself! I'm thinking that updates are going to be either daily, or every other day. Most likely the latter, but I'll try for the first. I'm estimating about 6-10 more chapters, depending on how things work out. Probably a bit early to be estimating the number of remaining chapters, but whatever.
The Stupid Disclaimer That No One Except The Dude Who Came Up With This Actually Cares About: I don't own the Sisters Grimm.
Yay! Chapter 4!
Several days had passed relatively normally; Puck had continued playing pranks, Daphne learned how to do her chores; and Sabrina continued to glare at Five. The daily mining trips grew easier and easier as Puck and Sabrina became accustomed to the hard work (or rather, Sabrina became used to doing both workloads while Puck got better at hiding). Daphne's progress in her learning increased rapidly and she was able to get most of the work done well before lunch and so had much time to goof off. However, with so much time alone, Daphne was given many lectures (especially from Sabrina) about never, ever letting in anybody that came knocking at the door. Bunny was bound to show up soon, and when she did it wouldn't be all ponies and rainbows.
But Daphne knew that if they were to have any chance of getting out of this story, it had to be done properly, and that meant disregarding the lectures.
Sabrina realized that too, and tried her best to ignore it.
Puck remained oblivious and continued fine-tuning his Gunk Volcano, which now had the ability to puff out clouds of mysterious ash-like substances. Quite frankly, the complexity of the volcano both scared Sabrina, and impressed her. She never realized that the fairy was smart enough to make something like that. She'd always figured that Puck was not only leader of the wrong side of the tracks, but the dumb side, too.
One day, while the dwarves, Puck, and Sabrina were at the mine, Daphne finished her chores in record time. She made her lunch and settled in at the window to eat her sandwich. Much to her displeasure, it was a normal sandwich. She really missed Granny's cooking.
Daphne was spacing out and daydreaming about purple hamburgers when an old peddler-woman appeared at the window. "Pretty things to sell, very cheap, very cheap."
Excited (Daphne really wanted something pretty to play with), she forgot about the story and said, "Gravy! What are you selling?"
Puzzled the old woman said, "I'm sorry, but I don't have any gravy."
"Nevermind," Daphne replied. "What do you have?"
"I have some very beautiful staylaces of all colors." She reached into the basket slung over her arm and produced a beautiful woven sample of brightly colored silk. There were blues and purples and greens and yellows and just about every other color Daphne loved.
Thinking only of how pretty the lace was, even momentarily forgetting the story, Daphne rushed over and opened the door for the woman. "I'll take them!" she exclaimed and shoved some coins at the lady.
"Oh you poor child," the woman said, gazing upon the laughable lacing of Daphne's dress. She blushed. It's not her fault no one knew how to lace a dress properly. "I will lace you properly for once."
It was at this point that Daphne remembered that she was, in fact, in the middle of a fairy tale, but there wasn't much she could do about it now. Trembling, Daphne went over and stood in front of the queen. She couldn't help but notice that the queen had horrid breath, but now was definitely not the time to point it out.
The queen laced quickly and tightly. It wasn't long before Daphne passed out from lack of air. She was good as dead. "You were the most beautiful," the queen whispered, more to herself than Daphne. Satisfied with her handiwork, she left the cottage and fled to her castle where she celebrated heartily and drank more than her fair share of wine. She drank so much, in fact, that she ended up confessing her love for one of the servants. The servant promptly quit.
As the dwarves neared the cottage, Sabrina's anxiety grew. Every day she feared that when they returned, Daphne would be lying dead on the floor and they wouldn't be able to save her. Four days had already gone by without incident, and Sabrina knew that it wouldn't be much longer. She turned to Puck and asked, "Do you think Daphne's okay?"
Puck, who was eating a questionable looking apple, said through a mouthful, "Whywoodinshebeoay?"
Sabrina slapped him upside the head, causing a bit of apple to fly out of his mouth and hit One square in the butt. Admittedly, it was pretty funny. Especially when One ended up giving Puck dish duty for three days. Just as well, it was her turn tonight.
Very irritated now, he turned to Sabrina. "What was that for?" he said in as level a tone he could pull off (there was no way he was getting in any more trouble by yelling).
She almost hit him again. "Do you know nothing about this story?"
He laughed. "I thought we cleared that up a few days ago. I can't read, therefore I haven't read the story."
"But no one's read it to you? You haven't picked any of it up from Snow?" Sabrina questioned.
"I know that she left Charming at the altar. Serves him right, too. He's way too full of himself."
"Hypocrite," she mumbled.
After a minute or so Puck, having not heard her comment, asked, "Well, are you going to tell me the story or not?"
"Well, you know most of it by now. Now, the queen's supposed to come and attempt to kill Daphne three times. Actually, she succeeds, but the dwarves always find a way to save her. It's just," – her eyes began to water – "what if we can't save her?" Sabrina quickly blinked back her tears. It wouldn't do to cry, especially not in front of Puck.
"What are you talking about? I'm here aren't I?" he said, puffing out his chest.
That didn't exactly help. "But the third time she's killed," she said 'killed' as a fat person would say 'salad' (A/N: No offense to anyone), "Prince Charming's gonna be the one to save her. How are you going to help then?"
"You've got to be kidding me! That imbecile couldn't save a fly."
"He's in charge of the army. He already saved tons of lives," Sabrina pointed out.
Puck smiled, as if he'd been waiting for her to say something like that. In reality, he was just thinking quickly. "Then what are you worried about?"
Sabrina sighed. "I guess you're right."
Puck looked at her. "No freakin' duh. I'm always right."
"You're always an annoying egocentric fairy."
He opened his mouth to respond with a sure-to-be-brilliant-once-he-thought-of-it comeback when he paused and instead asked, "What's egocentric?"
She rolled her eyes. "It means that you have a big ego. In other words, you're like Charming's mini-me."
"WHAT!?!" he yelled, offended.
"That's it," One screamed. "Two, you're on permanent dish duty and you have to do all of Snow's needlework for a week."
Six offered to supervise him.
Puck fought the urge to cry.
Meanwhile, Daphne continued being dead on the floor.
It wasn't too long after that when the dwarves finally made it to the cottage. They all marched inside and were taking off their boots when Sabrina noticed Daphne. "Oh God, Daphne!!!" she screamed, running to kneel at her sister's side
Thankfully, the dwarves were too panicked to notice her slip. Well, Five did, but what with all the glares and death vibes he'd been getting from her, he thought it a good idea not to ask. "Is she okay?" he said instead.
"Of course she's not okay," she snapped. "She's dead."
Puck lifted Daphne up into a sitting position and commented, "That's not really all that surprising. I don't see how anyone can breathe with these laces so tight."
Sabrina, in her moment of panic, had forgotten that the laces were, in fact, the cause of the problem and quietly thanked Puck. She swore she could see his ego grow.
One grabbed some scissors and proceeded to cut the laces. Daphne started to breathe a little and Sabrina began to relax. After a while, Daphne regained consciousness and Sabrina was yelling at Puck for taking the time to work on his stupid Gunk Volcano, which now made a disgusting farting noise seconds before it erupted. Puck had thought it wise to add a warning signal after the second accident.
After Sabrina and Puck had calmed down, Daphne began to tell her story. Four said, "The woman was none other than the wicked queen. Please be more careful and let no one come in when we are not with you."
Puck found it rather odd that the dwarves didn't just leave someone behind to watch her, but when he voiced his idea he earned another chore. Sabrina backed him up and said that it was a good idea, but she just got chore duty with Puck.
They both learned a valuable lesson that day. No matter how much they respected Mr. Seven, Charming may have been on to something with the dunce hat.
Needless to say, when Bunny woke up the next morning with a major hangover and her favorite servant missing, she was really cranky. In an attempt to cheer herself up, she visited Mirror.
"Looking-glass, looking-glass, on the" – she gazed deeper into the mirror. "Who's the baby?"
Cursing his carelessness, Mirror hurriedly hid the baby Grimm behind his back and told the queen it was just her hangover messing with her mind. The queen believed him. After all, why would the looking-glass lie to her, its creator?
"Looking-glass, looking-glass, on the wall,
Who in this land is the fairest of all?"
Mirror replied with the same lines as before,
"Oh, queen, thou" –
Bunny placed her hands over her ears, groaned, and demanded that Mirror be quieter. He sighed, annoyed, but did as he was told… Right after he muttered a few swear words. It's not as if he enjoyed being reunited with his inventor.
"Oh, queen, thou art the fairest of all I see,
But over the hills, where the seven dwarfs dwell,
Snow White is still alive and well,
And none is so fair as she."
The queen looked rather ticked off. "Well that's just peachy," she exclaimed. The queen decided to think about the problem later. "I'm going to go get some vodka," she declared, hoping it would get her so drunk she couldn't feel her migraine.
A/N: So there's chapter 4! A bit on the short side, but I think it was the best chapter so far. I hope you enjoyed it (or at least that it wasn't a giganto waste of your time) and please, please, please review! I'm getting waaaaaay more hits than I am reviews, so if you could just take the time to type up a couple words, that'd be great! I accept anonymous reviews, too.