Clark had to sneak Alicia into the barn after they got back from The Talon. He felt she had endured enough accusing glares without his parents adding to them.
"So what was it you wanted to tell me about Lex?" asked Alicia, practically skipping up the stairs. This place was what Clark's father referred to as his 'fortress of solitude', where Clark could get away from everything. It looked as though Alicia now shared in that, if solitude was something that could be shared. Certainly she always appeared happier here than anywhere else. He knew things weren't easy for her at home.
"Lex and I became friends about four years ago," Clark began, taking a seat. He cleared a pile of school books out of the way so that Alicia could join him. "It happened after I saved his life by pulling him out of a river."
"That's pretty much common knowledge. You were a real hero," she said, smiling.
"What isn't so well known is that his car hit me at sixty miles per hour. I was knocked into the river with him, but I wasn't really hurt," he said, pausing for a moment. He was thinking that if Lex's car hit him today, it wouldn't budge him an inch.
"Did Lex see you?"
"It all went down so fast, he couldn't be sure what happened. But he knew there were things about that day that didn't add up. So he began investigating me behind my back."
She lent against his shoulder, the sweet smell of her hair permeating his senses. Her hand ran absently across his chest.
"Clark, I'm sorry. I always felt that I couldn't have any friends, in case they got too close to the truth. It was a pretty sad way to live, but I guess I was right. What did he find out? Does he know?"
Clark shook his head, sadness in his eyes.
"No. He says he's closed the book on the investigation. But I'm not sure he's ever going to let it go."
"Even so, what would he want with me? He already knows my secret, along with everyone else. You don't think he wants me for a lab rat, do you?" she asked, voice trembling just slightly.
"I would never let that happen," said Clark firmly. "Besides, with all the publicity around you I don't think he would risk anything like that."
"Then what?"
Clark's eyes fell guiltily to the floor for a moment. "Alicia… he might want to use you to get to me. It's not what I want, but I'll understand if you want to put some distance between us…"
He trailed off as Alicia started to giggle, giving her an embarrassed clearing of the throat.
"Sorry," she said as she recovered. "It's just that after how much I've complicated your life, it's kind of funny to hear you say that."
He wanted to tell her that his feelings for her wouldn't change even if things were ten times more complex, but acting on impulse he kissed her instead.
"I'm serious," he whispered.
"So am I, Clark," she said, her lips hovering near his. "I'm not going to give you up that easily. And I'll never let Lex know your secret. I told you I'll die before I let that happen."
Clark gritted his teeth as he recalled how close she had come to doing just that. Just a few weeks before, she had teleported in front of a bullet in order to keep his secret from Dr McBride. For a moment after it happened, he'd really thought she was going to die. There were few times in his life he'd ever felt so helpless. Kissing her forehead, he looked straight into her eyes.
"I'm grateful…" he said. "But I can't let someone else die to protect me like that, and certainly not you. Seeing you like that… it was terrible, Alicia. You can't put my secret before your own life."
She nodded slowly, and as he wrapped his arms around her, he hoped she meant it. Most of all though, he hoped it never came to that.
When she returned home that evening, her mother was seated at the dining table. In her hand Alicia noticed a book, "The Stars My Destination" by Alfred Bester. It was one of her own, slightly worn through several reads; it had been a particular favourite of hers growing up. Perhaps not surprising, since it was a book about people learning how to teleport (or as the book called it, "jaunting").
"Oh, hi honey," her mother said, looking up. There was something a little uncomfortable about the smile she offered. Her parents weren't sure how to act around her, and she knew that beneath the surface they both wondered if their daughter really were cured. Part of them thought – and might always think – that she was just putting on an act in order to be free. Just like she'd done to escape from that room upstairs with the lead paint on the walls, all those years ago.
"Hi, mom," said Alicia finally. She wanted her mother to hold her, to tell her things would be alright, but she stayed where she was. She hadn't so much as touched Alicia since she'd gotten back home, apart from once at the hospital. Alicia figured she was afraid to get too close. It was a difficult thing to bear, but she found she couldn't resent her mother for it. She was trying, and that was enough for her. Trying was all she was able to do herself.
"I found this in your room," her mother said. "I… I hope you don't mind me borrowing it."
"No, it's fine. Are you enjoying it?"
"It's certainly interesting. A little frightening in places."
"Yes, I suppose it is," said Alicia softly. "I'll be upstairs."
She walked up the stairs, although she could have been there in an instant. Still, she couldn't risk even her parents finding out she wasn't wearing her bracelet. If they were slightly nervous around her now, they'd be terrified knowing that one. She lay sprawled on her bed for awhile, thinking about her mother downstairs, about Clark, about Lex. About the most terrifying thing of all: a future she could not see. She could travel a great distance in no time at all, but she had no easy way of getting to a time where she could be truly happy.
After a short while, she fell asleep. In her dreams, she saw someone who looked just like her, standing outside of a window looking in. There was a family inside, but she could not see clearly since her double was in the way. The reflection turned and smiled at her as she approached.
"Who are you?" she asked of it, and it smiled.
"I' you," it told her. "The doctors at Belle Reeve tried to take me away, but here I am. Consider me the ultimate teleporter. They tried to leave me at the bottom of the ocean, to shoot me into the furthest reaches of space, yet every time I came back."
"That isn't true," she said weakly. "I'm better now."
"We're going to have to be very careful," said her double, licking her lips slowly. "Too many people coming at us from all sides."
"What are you talking about?" Alicia asked. She was trying desperately to teleport away, but somehow she was stuck here, as if the lead bracelet were still on her wrist.
"No time now. Don't worry though; when the need comes, I'll be right here. When your parents have thrown you out, when Clark has grown tired of you… I'll be right here…"
Alicia woke to the sounds of her mother calling her, letting her know that dinner was ready. She remembered only fragments of the dream; yet for some reason she was unsurprised to learn she had been crying in her sleep.