Chapter

NPAX. National Protection Against Extraterrestrials. You'd think they could come up with something more creative than that, being the ultra-secret uber-powerful endlessly-funded organization they've come to be. Really, that's seriously all the head honchos could come up with? Sounds like something that should go on a T-shirt. It really does.

Catchy acronym, though. You don't forget that one. Especially when they don't forget you.

Especially when you're sitting thirty stories up contemplating the meaning of 'sudden death' in a whole new way as they line up their sights and circle around. You know, in those really nifty SWAT-team-lookin' choppers. That's what I'd really learned since I'd gotten into all this. NPAX has a never-ending supply of choppers. You could blow up their head base and you still wouldn't faze the choppers. They just keep coming and coming and coming like the Energizer Bunny on speed. I don't know where they put 'em all (or, I assure you, I would have gotten to them by now. I hate choppers. I really do.)

So, how not to die today…clinging to the side of a windowed building doesn't seem like the best way to be going about things, as it is. Going back down at the moment would probably result in my capture and eventual termination. Probably in a less-than-pleasant manner. See, NPAX has this company policy: learn all we can about 'em before we kill 'em. Depressing like none other.

Talking things out was out of the question, mostly because nobody around here bothers to listen before shooting. It can get on a persons' nerves. It really can.

Some of you may take this moment to point out that I'm not a person, I'm a alien. Hybrid, people, not true extraterrestrial. Try to get it right. Used to be human, now I'm not. Best-seller will be out as soon as I dump these kooks, please try to avoid making stupid comments until then.

One of the choppers has decided it's a brilliant idea to see how close it can get without actually hitting the building. Touching. They're going to chop me with their blades instead of shoot me with their phenoguns. Or tranquilizers, whatever they're using. Humans really do have a compassionate side after all.

I let go and drop a good twenty feet, just to mess with 'em. Somebody took a shot from ground-level below; I felt the bullet whiz past my ear. While the sky graciously takes bullets for me I scramble around to a different side of the building. I think this really annoyed the people in the chopper trying to slice n' dice me. Good. That's my goal in life. Annoy people.

Still not seeing any way out. Rush-hour traffic sitting in every lane. Oodles of people with weapons making this really terrific roadblock down below. Enough choppers circling that I'm surprised nobody's had a mid-air collision yet. All and all, a little more than a typical day. This all just had to happen when Trin was out of town, now didn't it? Couldn't have waited until he was here to help, nope, couldn't have that. Because then I might actually have a chance, and where's the fun in that? Better to watch me run around in a hopeless situation. So much more entertaining, like one of those reality shows. Except in, you know, reality.

Remember that person I mentioned saving? Well, before you go rescuing someone from nutty government people, you might want to make sure the person you're saving is actually from the same planet. Because, if they're, say, not, results may vary. In this case, adding another set of DNA to the ol' collection and getting a bizarre ability along with it. We'll get into this again later, I'm sure.

I would argue that Trin's a person. Aliens are people too, right? Right. Somebody please explain this concept to the commando kooks below, they just can't seem to grasp it.

They have somehow landed a chopper on the roof of the building. I don't know how they did it; then again, I don't know how they do other things. Like squeezing their black sedans right up to the base of the building. On the sidewalks. In a no-parking zone. With no good reason. Cops across town would soon be having communal hissy fits over this.

Back to business. Just because I can climb things like walls doesn't mean I have the magic answer to everything. That'd be nice, though, wouldn't it?

The chopper dumped a load of people up there. When I look straight up the sheet of glass I can see them not far above me, barely over the edge, laying out on their bellies to get the right angle to hit me. Staring up the barrels of half a dozen Colt CAR-15s is not my idea of Christmas Break. Neither is getting shot in the face.

The chopper hovering behind me decided it'd go ahead and solve this problem. A.k.a. take a few shots. I think these people are under the impression that the one who hits the target gets a raise. I mean, how well can a secret government job hunting down poor helpless exies pay anyways? Gotta get that bonus tip.

Anyway, for your information the chopper missed me. Which was mostly because I leapt out and grabbed on to its landing skid.

I have a pretty high jump radius. Thirty feet, on a good day. Today was a good day. I was so hyped on adrenaline I couldn't have done much less than that. I think I was irking them, with all my constant acrobatics. And trust me, hanging on underneath a chopper flying way high up over a bunch of guys with guns and self-control issues – not your average Olympic sport. Harder than it sounds, even if your four-fingered hands do grip things.

I have no sympathy for NPAX. It's their own fault. They shouldn't have been flying their chopper close enough for me to do that. I'm just teaching 'em a lesson. Stay Back: Exy Hybrids Can And Will Jump. Take notes, folks, there'll be a quiz.

I locked my legs around that skid so I wouldn't fall. Jump, yes. Fly, no. If you're ever bored at home, try this. Try clutching a chopper skid while the thing's flying with no safety net underneath. Or giant trampoline. Gets the ol' heart pumping pretty good.

I need to get Cyrel to teach me how to unwire helicopter machine guns. I've done cars and mopeds and even a small plane once, but never before have I had the opportunity to try pulling the plug on a chopper weapon. Would have been a good thing to know at this point, seeing as how I could reach it from this angle. I'd never really wished to be this close to one, but that's fate for ya.

Cyrel? The technologist of our little group. Trin left me with him while he and Skay are away taking out a Tressen we've tracked down. I'll deal with introductions later, now's really not the time. Just know that I currently have no idea where the technologist is – he'd been with me earlier in the run and he wasn't anymore. I think they might have gotten him.

Which really turned my stomach. Or maybe that was the odd upside-down angle of clinging to the underside of a live chopper. A little of both, perhaps?

The guys in the flying machine gun finally got smart and realized their target (moi) hadn't just disappeared into thin air. I can't do that, by the way. See in the dark? Yes. Climb sheer vertical surfaces? Check. Disasperate? I'm not Potter, guys, and Voldy never had total control of the nation's mindset.

So what do they do? Well, there's this really nifty little emergency trap-door type thing on the underside of whatever make of helicopter they're using. So they open it and bam! There I am, hanging off the skid! Amazing. I'm just jam-packed with surprises.

I stare up at the guy. He stares down at me. We both stare. I would stare some more if he wasn't clutching a phenogun in his hand. However, I made the executive decision that this was not a good defensive position to be in and jumped, propelling myself back to the building. I fell a little before making it, grabbing on to a pane of window somewhere in the 10-15 story range.

The man in the helicopter with the phenogun decides to be a hero and shoot after me.

Phenoguns: nasty pieces of alien weaponry. You don't want to get hit by one.

I didn't want to get hit by one, either, funny enough. I moved at the last millisecond (I like to do things close – keeps all the civilians on the edge of their seats). The green burst of energy hit the pane of window next to me, completely shattering it into a million sharded pieces.

I'm not stupid. Out here I'm a target in an arcade game. In there I'd be a real challenge. I threw myself through that hole into the building.