Before The War Part III
Blackfire woke up the next morning and stretched her legs out, yawning slightly before she sat up, feeling unusually soft cloth fall off of her at the same time. She onlined her optics and took in the room around her, her optics slowly widening before she bolted out of the berth with a yelp. Her optics widened as she backed out of the room, her spark pulsing in panic before she caught sight of Northstar staring out the window in the large sitting room just off the room she was in.
"Northstar?" she asked nervously.
"You're up," he chuckled as he turned around to face her. "How are you on this fine morning?"
"Where am I?" she asked, looking around in panic.
"Our home," Northstar replied, his brow furrowing in concern. "Are you ok?"
She opened her mouth to ask what he meant when everything came rushing back. She felt her face blush up in sheer embarrassment before she hung her head. "Sorry…I…forgot…," she murmured.
She felt his arms wrap around her waist before he nuzzled his face into her neck. "That's ok," he purred into her audio, "as long as this doesn't become a reoccurring problem, I will forgive you this once."
She laughed before she heard a small giggle in her mind. "Oh! I have something to tell you," she squealed in excitement.
"What?" he asked, lifting her head up to look him in the optic.
"My spark split!" she laughed as she hugged him. "I'm going to have a sparkling!"
He was silent for a moment, his red optics staring down at her in disbelief before his face split into a huge smile. "A sparkling?" he asked. "Are you serious?!" he demanded, his optics sparkling with excitement. She nodded happily before he picked her up and spun her around. "I'm going to be a daddy!"
She laughed as she hugged him, kissing his cheek as he laughed in excitement. He held her tightly to him, murmuring gently into her audio. She returned the hug, leaning her forehead into his shoulder and purring softly before the overwhelming need to refuel hit her. She pulled back and smiled slightly.
"Um, where are the energon cubes kept?" she asked with an embarrassed blush.
He smiled before he kissed her cheek. "Sit down, I'll get them," he stated before walking away, not even giving her time to argue.
She glanced around before sinking onto the couch. It felt weird to be in such a lusciously furnished room and house. It almost felt like she was invading the area with her lowly upbringing. Being Primus' daughter only got you so far in a world when you're mother was a poor Seeker living in the worst section of Kaon. She shifted again, hugging her chest plate as she crossed her legs under her and leaned against the back of the couch.
"You ok?" Northstar asked as he sat down beside her and offered her a cube.
She took the cube and sipped it for a moment before she leant back farther and looked at the ceiling. "I…I don't think I belong up here," she murmured.
"Why not?" he asked curiously. "You're a Seeker and this is the Seekers' citadel."
"But I'm a Pit fighter, I don't belong with the rest of the civilized Seekers," she sighed.
"Pit fighters can fit in with anyone as long as you don't tick them off," he argued with a wave of his hand. "Now stop worry about it. Worry about the sparkling; I've already made an appointment with a medic to check to make sure everything is alright."
She blinked before smiling happily. "Thank you," she murmured before she finished off her energon cube and felt a great sense of satisfaction in her mind. "And that's a thank you from the little one too."
Northstar leant forward and captured her lips in a gentle kiss before caressing her face tenderly. "The medic will be here soon, just rest," he murmured before he scooted closer to her and let her lean her head on his shoulder.
It felt good to be with him now, away from everything else. A few moments alone in her rented room wasn't enough to satisfy their need for each other. His arm wrapped gently around her waist, holding her possessively to his chest, signifying that she was his alone. She smiled slightly before powering down her optics to catch a few snatches of recharge before the medic arrived. She knew that she was going to be sleeping a lot more often now that she was carrying.
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She sat up and frowned as she felt her cockpit. Northstar was still in recharge beside her, a thin line of drool hanging from his mouth as he snored. She smiled slightly as she brushed the drool away and stood up. Something felt wrong with her sparkling and she wasn't entirely sure what it was. She headed for the washroom and closed the door behind her so she wouldn't wake Northstar up before he had his full recharge cycle.
She touched her cockpit again, feeling that something was wrong with her sparkling. She slid her cockpit open slowly, careful not to catch the extra growth on her spark in the glass. She examined her spark for one moment before her breath caught in her throat and her optics filled with tears.
"No…no…nonononononono!" she wailed as she covered her spark in desperation. "No, no it can't be!"
She covered her face with her hands, sobbing heavily as the horrifying truth set in. Her little sparkling, her barely a week old sparkling was dead, stripped from her spark before it even had a chance to grow. She sobbed her spark out for what must have been hours before she felt an arm wrap around her shoulders. She looked up into Northstar's concerned optics and felt her lower lip tremble violently.
"Blackfire, what's wrong love?" he asked gently as he stroked her cheek.
"It's gone, Northstar," she whimpered as she hugged him closer to her. "It's dead."
"Oh…Blackfire," he whispered as he hugged her tightly as she broke down again. "I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry."
She held onto him for what felt like forever, sobbing and wailing while he ran his hand over her back. She happened to glance up for a moment and stilled, her green optics widening as she spotted the little blue orb floating by the door. It remained there for a moment before floating closer to her, a soft hum filling her mind. She reached a hand out towards it, wanting to hold the little spark before it vanished, and it backed away, twittering fearfully. She cooed gently, ignoring Northstar's confused expression, and trying to coax what she knew to be her dead sparkling closer.
It twittered again before settling into her palm, letting itself be pulled close to her chest. 'Tidus,' it squeaked in her mind.
"Tidus?" she asked out loud, startling her mate even more. "Is that what you called yourself?"
'Yes,' it squeaked before nuzzling against her chest plate. 'I don't want to leave…you were so warm…so safe…why doesn't Primus want me to live?' it asked.
"I don't know, little one," she cooed gently. "Primus must have his reasons."
'It's not fair!' it cried, trying to push its way back into her chest compartment. 'I want to live! I want to, I want to, I want to!'
"Hush," she soothed as she held the little spark close to her, deciding that it was a mech from the cooler temperature that she was picking up, "you will be fine. There are lots of nice people in the Well of All Sparks."
'I don't want to leave,' he whimpered. 'I want to stay with you and Daddy.'
"I know, I want you to stay too," she whispered before uncurling her fingers from around the sparkling, "but you must go, Tidus; being caught between the worlds is not a favorable state."
Tidus whimpered again before starting to fade away. 'I love you Momma,' he whispered before he left.
"I love you too, little Tidus," she whispered before burying her face into Northstar's chest and crying harder.
Unsure of what else to do, Northstar held her tightly to him. "It's ok, Blackfire, we can try again. It will never replace him, but maybe it can help to heal you," he whispered.
She sniffled before nodding. "That…that would be good…but not right now…let me mourn my lost sparkling," she whispered.
"Of course," he murmured as he rocked her back and forth, "of course."
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She blinked up at the medic as he closed her cock pit. "Stillborn?" she asked. "I've never heard of the term before."
The medic looked up at her, the calm look that she learned came right before he would explain everything in an agonizingly patronizing manner; it wasn't her fault she had no medical expertise. She was a warrior for crying out loud, not a doctor. "Darling, a stillborn is a sparkling that continues to grow while it is still attached to the mothering spark, but in actuality, it is dead," he explained in the anticipated patronizing manner. "When it is moved to the protoform, it glows for a moment, but then fades away like it never existed."
"So, you think that this little one may be a stillborn?" she asked, touching her cockpit gently.
"It has all the signs of one," he replied, patting her leg gently. "I'm sorry, my dear; it's never easy…perhaps you and your mate are not compatible?"
She threw him a withering glare and bared her fangs. "Do not go jumping to conclusions, medic," she hissed, infuriated that he had even made such a remark. "There is a good chance that the sparkling is merely behind in development, it occurs often enough."
The medic smartly kept his mouth shut before standing up and heading for the door. Northstar nodded to him as he walked out of the kitchen with two cubes of energon in his hand. He smiled at her and sat down beside her on the couch, offering one of the cubes. She took it with a nod of appreciation, a smile failing to form on her mouth, but he didn't seem to notice as he helped her to lie down on his lap, curling her knees up to her chest. She sighed sadly as his hand trailed over her helm.
"What is wrong, my love?" he asked softly.
"The medic…he does not say anything that makes me feel better about this carrying," she replied sadly.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"He says that our sparkling may be a dead one when it is born and that we may not be compatible for each other," she murmured.
"He is not happy with his own life," Northstar scoffed. "Do not take anything he says to spark, my love."
She smiled before touching her chest plate. The sparkling was so weak, she wasn't sure if it would survive past the week. It let out a weak chirp in her mind, desperately hungry, and she downed the cube quickly in response. It chirped just as weakly, but was satisfied for the moment, settling down to rest. She placed a hand on her cockpit and sighed sadly at the miniscule amount of heat radiating out of it.
"Northstar…I don't think I could handle loosing another one," she whispered as she felt tears stinging her optics.
He stroked her helm gently, humming softly in his throat. "It will be fine, my love; I have faith that Primus will not hurt you again," he cooed.
She sighed softly before curling up more, silently praying that her mate was right; her father was never on her side in this life. She settled down to rest, feeling the little spark attached to hers pulse quietly within her, reassuring her that it was still there for another day.
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Blackfire groaned as she shifted on the berth, trying to set herself so that her swollen cockpit wasn't pressed against anything. Northstar was trying to get a com-link to the medic that was responsible for her; he had to get over there quickly since their little sparkling was ready to come now. He growled before turning towards her and pulling the protoform out of his subspace and setting it down beside him.
"If that fragger doesn't feel like picking up, fine! I'll do it myself!" he snarled.
"Are you sure you can do this?" she asked softly, shuddering as the sparkling demanded to be let out.
"Yes, Megatron's showed me how to before," he replied as he pulled a special lubricant out of his subspace. "He's helped with more protoforming than that stupid medic."
She smiled weakly before rolling onto her back, twitching as the sparkling beat against her cockpit. "Easy, darling," she whispered as she opened it to let Northstar access to her spark.
Northstar smiled at her before reaching into her spark chamber and gently grasping their sparkling's spark. It let out a terrified squeal, both audible and in her mind, before it tried to squirm away and hide behind her spark. Northstar growled slightly in frustration before going after it, scraping his hands against the side of her spark chamber. She hissed in pain, letting them both know that they were causing her more pain than was needed. Northstar apologized before he managed to get a firm grip on the sparkling's spark and started pulling it gently out. A loud squelching noise sounded throughout the room before she felt the sparkling's connection to her vanish as her mate pulled his hands back. She sat up slowly, watching as Northstar lowered the quivering spark into the open chassis of the protoform.
It glowed bright blue for a moment before receding to reveal a brilliant yellow and gold Seeker sparkling. It chirped quietly, staring up at Northstar in confusion, before crying out and curling up. Blackfire cooed to it gently before scooping it up and holding it close to her chest plate, letting it feel the familiar warmth. It sniffled before snuggling against her, recognizing her spark-pulse immediately.
"Momma," it cooed, identifying itself as a mech.
"You're alright, little one," she cooed as she held her sparkling close.
"A mech," Northstar stated proudly before leaning over to scratch the sparkling's helm. "He's adorable."
"He is, isn't he?" she asked before yelping in shock as he sneezed.
Bright yellow flames shot out of his mouth, burning her chest plate slightly. He hiccupped and looked up at her innocently, acting as if nothing had happened. Northstar was in near hysterics before Blackfire laughed.
"You little devil!" she laughed. "A chip off the ol' block, huh?"
He giggled before nodding, his little yellow wings lifting up in delight. Northstar looked between them in confusion before crying out in shock and falling backwards off the berth as Blackfire's wings were engulfed in black flames. He stared at her in terror before he realized that she was fine and she had done it herself.
"Warn me next time before you spontaneously combust," he grumbled.
"Sorry," she chuckled before cuddling her son. "Hmm, what to call you?"
"Sun!" he squeaked, pointing out the window. "Sun!"
They both looked up at the dull sunlight that was coming through the window from the very distant sun. Blackfire smiled before nuzzling her sparkling. "Sunstorm," she cooed.
Northstar looked down at him, mulling the name over before smiling and nuzzling the tiny mech as well. "A perfect name for my little prince," he cooed proudly.
Sunstorm giggled happily before nuzzling them both back, his wings twitching in excitement and delight. He rolled over in his mother's arms, reaching up towards their faces and touching them with warm hands. Northstar smiled as he gazed down at his sparkling, the product of his and his mate's love, and knew that things were going to be good for them for a very long time.