So, there I was. I had to choose. In a way it was unexpected. I hadn't known the twins to be able to such restrain, of such sensitivity. However, I had never really bothered to pay attention to them beside their nearly endless pranks and tricks.

From our evening together I had understood one thing; their playful nature was a facade. Sure they enjoyed having fun, maybe more than most of the people but in fact, they were very sensitive, and they concealed their feelings behind their jokes and pranks. From some things they said, I knew that they often laughed only not to cry.

I sat on my bed, in my day-old clothes minus my shoes, looking at the small paper. The potion had cleared the fuzziness of my mind but my thoughts were messier than ever. The old I would have drawn endless graphs and charts, wrote lists after lists, but I found that it didn't sound attractive anymore. The previous days had changed me more than I could have thought possible.

Like in a dream I step in the shower, put on cleaned clothes. I went through my morning routine like a robot trying not to think and unable to stop at the same time. When I was done, nothing left to do, I didn't had any choice left but to admit to myself that the choices were, in reality, pretty clear; I could either ignore the fact that I had felt more at ease yesterday than any other day in my life and go on with my life at it was, or I could admit the truth and summoned the courage to go further with them, knowing full well were it would bring me, and that it would eventually bring the wrath of my friends and family.

So the only question left in the end was: Could I be courageous and strong enough to risk all I knew, all I had for the liberty and sense of completeness I experienced yesterday? What would Harry do? And Ron? Neville and Ginny, Mrs Weasley? Could I risk all their friendship for the forlorn hope that I could fit in another trio?

I sighted, my face in my hands. It was really a battle of will between my courage and my fears. I think it was lost before it even began, but I fought it anyway.

I went through this day and the next trying not to think about Fred and George, to go on with my routine. I had lunch with Harry and Ginny, we had a fun time, but I couldn't help thinking about the time with the twins. I went to the ministry library to research on some potion ingredients; only to find myself taking note on something I thought could help Fred on his research for a new product. I even tried going out with a young Auror, whom Harry introduced me, but I left him in the middle of the dinner, I couldn't help comparing the awkward time we were having to the instant complicity I shared with Fred and George.

After I left him, I went and walked trough Muggle London, passing street after street, not really knowing were I was going, trying not to think, knowing too well were that would bring me. A light rain started to fall. Not wanting to go home, I entered a small cafe, and sat, alone, looking at my cooling cup of coffee. An old radio on the countertop was tuned at some Muggle music station I had never heard about. A guy was rambling about the weather and traffic jams. An old man sitting at the counter, fiddled with the controls, an awful screeching sound was heard. The waitress cried "Hey, leave that!" But he ignored her and finally found a station he liked. It was a soft music of violin, flutes and guitar, but it was the lyric that stunned me.

Don't let them put you down
Don't let them steel your crown
It'll all be the worth the fight
No matter what they might say

I can't help but hoping that someday they'll change
And I can't not help wish that they would see it my way
But I'm trough saying sorry
I'm not gonna be afraid

It went on longer, but I stopped listening. At my wit's ends, I laid my face in my hands and finally acknowledged that it couldn't be helped; I had to see them again or go crazy.

I'm not gonna be afraid.

It will be worth the fight... will it?