A/N: Wow~ I've had a lot of story alerts! Thank you all so much! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, as well. You all make my day! I'm sorry I didn't update sooner—work and parties and whatnot. Please enjoy the next chapter!

Dearheart Demonic DOES NOT OWN. WISHES SHE DID, BUT DOES NOT.

SPICE!

Chapter Three: The Art of Romance

He wasn't nearly as dumb and clueless as everyone though. Sure, Kaito was prone to a few (a lot) of "blond moments", but that didn't mean he was mentally lacking!

Well, maybe it did.

However, Kaito was very skilled at one thing. Well, a few things if we counted ice cream related activities, but outside that, he was very good at one thing: the art of romance.

It was pretty simple, actually. He'd broken it down to a few simple steps: Flatter, presents, seduce, profit.

Now, here was his current situation.

So, some nights ago, he happened to meet a very pretty girl in the park with lovely sunshiney hair and eyes like the sky. She was bubbly and peppy and Kaito decided "Well, she seems nice enough. I could be friends, and if she likes me, we could go out."

He decided to call her up the next morning and ask if she wanted to hang out, and she was more than happy to oblige.

Seems like a cute story so far, doesn't it? Well, here's where it gets a bit more complicated.

Down the stairs comes said pretty girl's equally pretty twin brother who also had lovely golden hair, but eyes more mysterious and dark like the ocean.

By the star-struck look in the boy's eyes, he decided that had a good chance with him, and but the dark look of anger in the girl's eyes, he came to the same conclusion.

His motive in this? To sit back and watch the twins fight it out. Either way he won, plus it was entertaining.

Of course, the twins didn't realize his involvement, and he planned to keep it that way. You know (as the internet geeks would say), "for the lols."

Currently, he was sitting at a dinner table with a plastered brunette, a little girl humming the Sailor Moon theme, and two very "discreetly" competitive twins.

"Some panko chicken, Kaito?" Rin asked, her voice sugary sweet.

Kaito could barely open his mouth before the drunken Meiko opened her own, "Nobody… nobody wants that burned sheeeeeeet… gawd…" she slurred, and Len smirked.

Rin looked like she was about ready to tear Meiko's face off, of course, trying to remain pretty through the seething anger.

No one was buying it.

"Well…" Kaito began, but again was interrupted.

"Teto doesn't like this food!" The twin-drilled child said, pouting petulantly, "I'd rather have leftover McDonalds!"

Rin looked like her face was about to crack in two.

Len's face was a somewhat contorted version of his sisters.

Then it broke and he began to laugh. Pearls of laughing came one after another, and when the slightest break in the laughter occurred, one look at the expression on his sister's face would send him into yet another fit.

Finally (after a century at the table listening to Len's snickers echo through the whitewashed kitchen), the dinner from hell ended.

Rin walked up to Kaito, "I am so sorry for the way my family has acted." She glared pointedly at Meiko, who had undeniably started it all.

"Dun't…duntchee gimme that look…. I brough ya inna this world… an'… an' I cin… I cin take yer ass out…" she gurgled, about a hair's breath from passing out.

"She didn't 'bring me into this world'," Rin clarified, and Kaito just nodded.

"Its fine," he smiled, "My family is just as bad. I guess all families are a little dysfunctional."

Rin was completely unarmed by the smile, "Uh-huh," she replied stupidly, having lost several IQ points.

Len rolled his eyes at his sister's sudden stupidity, "Hey, Kaito, did you actually eat anything?"

Kaito shook his head, "I don't think so… I mean… after Meiko threw up on it… it didn't look very appetizing…"

"Why don't us two guys go out to eat? I'll pay," Len offered.

Kaito thought for a moment, then nodded, "Sure, sounds great!"

If looks could kill, everyone in the room but Rin would have been dead as doornails.

A/N: Sorry I'm making Rin such a witch in here, but I'm making Len a total whore, so it balances out… maybe? Please review!