Nothing matters more…

Nothing matters more than love,
it's more terrible than pain
I had it once, I lost it once
I won't do that again

He'd promised himself, after feeling and losing before, that he wouldn't let himself fall for someone again. At least, fall this hard so fast. But like all the other times he promised himself anything, that went out the door rather quickly. Especially when her life came under threat. Not once, not twice, but multiple times. The small moments, the big moments, all tore at him. If he lost her…

If…

I said 'I won't let it control me
The way I have before'
But when you began to reach for me
That went out the door

The hardest part was hiding it. On a boat so small it wasn't easy. Hell, he hadn't managed to hide the crush he'd had on her when she first joined the Hammersley all those months ago, why could he think he'd successfully hide something like this?

He could stand his friends knowing.

He could stand his seniors knowing.

But then she started to show signs of knowing too…

Now I stand here in confusion
Do I stay or do I go?
I wish I had an answer booklet
Cos I really want to know

She taunted, she teased and he took it all. He had no choice. Every word he said back, hiding the truth. He hoped every word she said hid something more too. More than friends. More than crewmates. More than who they were.

But she continued to deny him.

She continued to let him hurt.

Continued to let him pine in stone-cold silence.

Will you ever feel like I feel?
Can we ever get things right?
Cos I want you now, I need you now
And I won't give up this fight

So every day he awoke with a name on his lips, a promise that he wouldn't let himself fall when his eyes first lay on her. And every day his promise was broken, his will shattered by a smile or a word or a look. His life decisions rearranged by an insult. Everything he'd achieved up till now, every success and every failure, they'd all brought him here.

To this moment.

When his heart hurt.

And his knees shook.

And he wondered when it would all end…

Nothing matters more than love,
it's more terrible than pain
I had it once, I lost it once
I won't do that again…

A/N: For anyone who has read Bomber's bio on the Channel 9 site before they took it down, you'll know what I'm talking about here. If not, just try and guess. Go on, trust me, it isn't hard!