This chapter was a hard work for me. The other characters were easier to write about. I felt Gibbs is deeply shaken by what happened in Aliyah (like everybody else), yet somehow it really moved me to see the depth of his feelings and emotions, because he usually is not the kind of man who wears his heart on his sleeve.

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Jethro's Prayer

He missed her. Oh how he missed her. He sat in the semidarkness of his basement. It brought back memories of Ziva, which made him sad, yet at the same time it gave him solace.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs is a strong man, a fighter, a soldier. He doesn't break easily. At least he hoped, it can't be seen on the outside, that he is broken inside. Though he was sure that however strong he might seem, he cannot hide the pain in his eyes. Those being close to him can read them like an open book.

He thought he knew Ziva,knew her like himself. Many things had happened within a short time and they all have to deal with it. It was like storm in a glass of water: Stirred up, everything is so dim, but as time goes by, you are able to see thing more clearly. You put things back where they belong. Knowing in your gut deep inside, whom you can trust, and who are the ones manipulating. Yet the pain remains along with worry, nightmares, isomnia...And you can't hold on to anything else than faith...the last straw.

Gibbs used to be a man of faith...long ago...in a happier era...before he lost his family. Life had boken him. Life goes on they say... What a cliche'...He cried from the depth in his hopelessness...turnig away, almost turning away from faith, from God...

But what doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger. He stood up, still putting faith in a hidden place in his heart. He still believed. Like Job in the Bible. How could he not...how else could he bare the loss and the hardness of life...Yet most of the time he trusted his own strength more. Many years had passed, lots of things have happened including failed marriages, dead collagues and friends.

Now the team lost someone close to them. Ziva is not dead, yet not part of their life anymore. Gibbs could see how hard it was for everyone of them.

Ziva and Gibbs had a unique relationship. Not even Leon Vance could break that strong bond between them. He still trusted her with his life.

He often woke up from a nightmare in the middle of the night. Like today. He thought he'd never cry again, but he sobbed and cried...cried to the Lord he so rarely spoke to nowadays. Now the real faith he buried deep down in his heart, erupted suddenly along with his tears and cries.

"Oh save her and protect her Father..I know she wanted to stay in Israel for good reason. It might be dangerous. I can't lose her too. I've lost so many I loved...Send your angels to fight for her...help her wherever she goes...Help us to help her...We care for her...we love her...I love her. Please sorround her with your protection,oh Lord. Please bring her back...give her a long life...a happy life. Amen."

He fell into a peaceful sleep at last. When he wakes up, another day begins. Another day of faith and fight,but he's not alone in his fight.

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