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Disclaimer: It pains me every time do this…Aya does not have any right to Gravitation…

Scene 9-Are we happy, plastic people?

"You want me to WHAT?"

"Snow White." Shuichi repeated with an innocent smile. "I want you to be Snow White."

Oh no. Absolutely not. Yuki would rather invite Tohma over to his house for breakfast every morning till the day he kicked the can, thank you very much.

"Is that a problem, Yuki-sensei?"

It took Yuki enormous willpower not to strangle Shuichi right there on that very spot. "Why that little devil…he knows I can't say anything with the whole class watching."

Two peaceful months had quickly flown by since Shuichi moved in without a squeak from his mother. It was a pity though; Yuki had secretly harbored hopes she would make a fuss. That way, he could give her the hell she deserved without breaking his word to Shuichi. At that very moment though, the matter of Shuichi's mother was far from his mind. He had other problems at hand.

The school had decided to hold a friendly inter-class drama competition in an attempt to boost student-integration and had made it compulsory for every class to take part; which was why Yuki, as 3-A's homeroom teacher was currently taking votes as to which play to perform. Blissfully unaware of the plot forming in Shuichi's mind, he had trustingly added his suggestion of Snow White to the list of dramas on the whiteboard.

Now though, after the majority of the class had chosen Snow White, Yuki regretted it tremendously. The selection of the cast member's had gone smoothly-except for the heroine. The class was engaged in a heated debate over who should play the part of Snow White and this was when Shuichi decided to reveal his reason for wanting a Snow White play.

In the presence of his students, Yuki shrugged his shoulders and gave out a regretful laugh. "I'm sorry, Shindou-kun. I'm afraid acting is not my fort. It's better to pick someone else who can act. Besides, I'm a teacher; a male one at that…" He trailed off as his students scanned him from head to toe, approving grins growing on their faces. "No way…they can't be serious!"

The class was silent for a moment as they chewed on that idea.

"It's perfect!"

"No, it isn't!" Yuki mentally growled his protest as the other students, taking their cue from that excited squeal, broke out into murmurs of agreement, their volume rapidly increasing.

Shuichi grinned in triumph, though it didn't show on his face. "Success!" Carefully rearranging his expression, he gave Yuki a meek look and cast his eyes down in disappointment. "No? Oh, Yuki-sensei, I thought you'd be perfect for it too…"

"Yea, Yuki-sensei! You're the best person for the role!"

"Oh, Yuki-sensei! Please say you will!"

"Don't waste your beautiful looks!"

Yuki twitched. Was that supposed to be a compliment? He tried discouraging them again. "Now, now. I don't think teachers are allowed to participate. We'll probably be disqualified."

"We don't mind! The competition's a waste of time. If we have to do it anyway, I say we have as much fun as we can!"

Yuki twitched again as shouts of agreement supported that logic. How was this supposed to be fun?

"Yuki-sensei!"

"Please, Sensei!"

"Please say yes!"

Yuki gave in. He could tell there was no other way to shut this clamoring mob up. He smiled ruefully at his students and joked. "Don't blame me if the play's a failure."

Taking that as an assent, the class broke out into cheers. Amidst the enthusiastic shouts of "You're the man, sensei!" and "I want to do your make-up, sensei!", Yuki kept his smile on. When he caught Shuichi's eye, his grin only deepened as he mentally promised Shuichi death. "He better clean his own blood up."

Shuichi caught that transmission and gulped. It was creepy when Yuki smiled like that. Maybe he better stay at Hiro's house tonight.

XXX

Three weeks later, it was finally the day of the competition. Preparations had been made, invitations sent out, nobody died and Yuki was Snow White.

Tohma sat near to the stage with Mika next to him. Mika commented, "I'm surprised Eiri invited us to watch his class's drama. Is he finally tired of being a hermit?"

He shook his head. "It wasn't him who invited us. It was a student of his. Shindou Shuichi."

Mika turned to look at him in surprise. "A student? That's odd. How did he even know who you were anyway?"

Tohma frowned thoughtfully. "Frankly speaking, I'm also curious to know why he was so insistent on us watching."

Flashback

Tohma had been picking up some groceries Mika needed when he was addressed by a hesitant voice.

"Excuse me, are you-I mean, do you know Yuki?"

Tohma looked at the speaker and recognized him instantly; after all, there couldn't be many people with a shock of pink hair and huge purple eyes. Which were currently looking at him questioningly. Tohma smiled at the boy. "I'm his brother-in-law, Seguchi Tohma."

The boy grinned back at him happily. "I knew I was right! I'm Shindou Shuichi, Yuki's my teacher." He paused for a while, fully absorbing Tohma's words. "Wait-brother-in-law? Yuki has a sister?"

Tohma replied, professionally assessing the boy. "He calls his teacher by name?" "An older one. Her name is Mika and she is frequently fussing over Eiri-san."

Shuichi brightened up as an idea hit him. He riffled through his backpack, searching for something. Finding what he was looking for, the boy pulled out a piece of paper. He pushed it into Tohma's hands. "Here! Bring Yuki's sister along too!"

Before Tohma could say anything, Yuki's student glanced at his watch and let out a string of curses. "I'm sorry, Seguchi-san. I have to go now; Yuki gets grumpy if I'm late for dinner. It was nice meeting you. Bye! Oh, and you must remember to come!"

Tohma watched, dumbfounded as the pink hurricane dashed out of the store. "Yuki gets grumpy if he's late for dinner? My, my; it seems like it's high time I paid Eiri-san an overdue visit."

He looked at the piece of paper Shuichi had given him, reading it. It was an invitation to a drama competition.

End flashback

"And so that was what happened.", Tohma finished.

Mika was surprised. She wanted to question him further but just then, the audience began clapping their hands. She looked to the front instead; the stage curtains had drawn open. The competition was commencing.

XXX

"Have you seen the wig? Oh no, it's almost time! Shit!"

Behind the stage, it was total chaos. The students of class 3-A could be seen dashing back and forth in panic, a few fervently muttering their semi-memorized lines under their breath.

"Ah- I found it!" A relieved girl in pigtails exhaled in relief. Her friend took the wig, looking puzzled. "Why was it stuffed under there though? Oh well. Doesn't matter; Yuki-sensei would be glad to hear we've found it." She ran off searching for him. "Yuki-sensei! We've found the wig! Where are you?"

"Damm it!" Yuki froze mid-track of his escape. He thought he had hidden the hideous long black wig under the stage planks when no one was watching. Yuki wondered if he should burn down the auditorium while he still had the chance.

"There you are, sensei!"

Too late. Yuki fixed a relieved smile to his face and turned around; resigned to being humiliated in front of the whole school. "Really? I'm so glad."

XXX

"Almost over-almost over-almost over-almost-…" Yuki repeatedly chanted the mantra in his head, attempting to ease the torture he was going through fifteen minutes later. They were now at the scene where he had 'eaten' the poisonous apple and was lying down on a makeshift table in mock death.

"….and so, Snow White fell into eternal slumber-or so the seven dwarfs thought. Unknown to all of them, a traveling prince had heard of a most beautiful maiden hidden away in the deep forest and was currently journeying towards their cottage."

"Almostover-almostover--almostover-ALMOST…" Yuki mantra was becoming more like a furious prayer. Why did Shuichi get to be the narrator anyway? He was definitely girlier than Yuki and was therefore more qualified to play Snow White. In the fist place, Yuki couldn't understand how the class had chosen their cast members. Did they close their eyes and just randomly jabbed at a name on the class registry? After all, there was no other logical reason why the cast ended up the way it was; Shuichi was the narrator, Hiro the prince and seven of the prettier girls played the dwarfs. Snow White was, as Yuki sincerely regretted, himself. Probably the only one who suited her own role was Miaka, as the jealous queen.

"….she was so beautiful, we couldn't bear to bury her."

"Instead, we built this glass coffin so we could watch over her forever…"

"ALMOSTOVER!" Yuki snapped back to attention as he heard the mournful voice trail off sadly. Yuki tried to remember what was next. "Hmm…I think this is the part where the prince wakes Snow White up with a kiss…" Not that Hiro was actually going to kiss him. "If I remember correctly, he's just supposed to bend over for a moment and block the audience's view…"

"Oh, what a lovely beauty! She is so fair even in death." Hiro walked up to where Yuki had been laid down and forced himself to spit the corny lines out. "Augh! Why couldn't it be a girl? Oh well, at least I just have to pretend kissing him…"

Shuichi snickered to his hearts content, holding the microphone away from him; safe in the knowledge Yuki couldn't see him. He was probably-no scratch that, definitely- going to make him pay dearly later. Then again, seeing Yuki all dolled up and wearing a dress was certainly worth it. He desperately hoped someone was taking photos-or even better, a video. "Too bad it's almost over now…" Shuichi sighed regretfully. "Ah well…all good things must come to an end."

Confident he could continue without laughing now, Shuichi lifted the mike back up to his mouth and resumed narrating. "The prince fell in love with Snow White at first sight. Overcome with a burning desire to awaken the lovely princess, he bent down and gently pressed his lips to hers…"

It was at this point a Yuki-obsessed student from another class interrupted the drama. "Nooooo! Yuki-sensei! Kiss me instead!" She hurled her war cry as she head butted Hiro, attempting to take his place in awakening Yuki.

Hiro had been about to straighten himself when he was suddenly pushed from behind. Lurching forward, he tripped on his cape-and was then in pain.

The audience watched with bated breath as the unexpected twist took place.

"…"

"…"

Mika turned to Tohma after pinching her arms for the third time. "…Did I just see what I thought I did?"

Tohma, calm as ever, evenly replied. "Why yes, I do believe I saw the same thing too," His eyes though, were still slightly wider than usual. Epiphany had hit Tohma the instant he saw who was playing Snow White. He had silently thanked Shuichi for enabling him to see the wonderful sight of a feminine Yuki complete with lipstick. Now though, he wasn't so sure he was glad he came. Hey, he certainly hadn't been expecting to witness Yuki lock lips with another guy.

"Ow…" Yuki was incapable of feeling anything but the blinding pain; he hadn't been prepared for something to knock against his teeth violently. Opening his eyes, he found himself looking up at Hiro-a Hiro who was currently clamping his mouth shut with both hands and staring at Yuki in something akin to downright horror.

Realization finally dawning on Yuki, he jolted upright and furiously swiped at his lips in repulsion. He was so disgusted; no words could describe it. So he instantaneously created some. "I-bleeping- can't believe I –bleepbleepbleeping-kissed him!"

The audience continued ogling with their mouths open, completely enraptured.

"…."

"…."

"ENCORE!"

As they finally regained their ability to think intelligently, the audience (the female half, which was the majority anyway) gave a standing ovation and cheered madly, screaming themselves hoarse.

Yuki proceeded to answer to their demands by throwing his blasted wig at them and stalking offstage.

XXX

"For the last godamm time, stop laughing!" Yuki scowled darkly at Tohma.

After practically tearing the dress off in his haste to change back to his sensible manly clothes, Yuki wanted to leave before a screaming mob of girls attacked him. As the first thing Shuichi did once he was safely offstage was to burst out laughing so hard, he gasped for breath, Yuki decided that Shuichi could just walk home today-if Yuki was feeling less pissed by then, he just might-might, mind you-be kind enough not to lock him out.

Imagine his horror when he found Tohma and Mika waiting for him when he had hurried out to his car.

Tohma just gave that innocent boyish smile of his. "There, there Eiri-san. You were spectacular. I must express my appreciation to Shindou-san for inviting us."

Yuki's scowl-if possible, deepened even further. So that was how they knew about the competition. He had wondered about that, even thought maybe it had been his tyrant of a father's fault. Who knew it had actually been his little pink-haired housemate's devilish scheme?

Tohma looked around, searching. "Where is he, anyway? Don't you usually have dinner together? I thought you don't like him being late."

Yuki automatically responded without thinking. "Probably still laughing his ass off and of course I dislike him being late for dinner; who wouldn't worry if he comes home late at night? It's not safe."

Tohma's eyebrows shot up. "Home? You live together?" It sounded more like a statement.

"Great.", Yuki mentally cursed. "Must be the moronic drama's fault I'm slipping up. Tohma's never going to leave me alone now…"

Desperate for a change of topic, he looked at his sister. Yuki frowned; Mika hadn't said a word since they stated talking, which probably signified the end of the world since her hobby was lecturing Yuki. He tried guessing what was wrong with her.

"Mika?"

"…" She continued staring at the ground, her face hidden by her cascaded hair.

"Mika?"

"…" She started shaking; small sobs could be heard.

Now even Tohma was concerned. He scrutinized his wife's face worriedly. "Are you feeling ill?"

Mika finally looked up, revealing her teary eyes. "To-Tohma…"

Maybe she really was feeling sick. Tohma took the hand she held out. "Yes?"

"Yuki is-Yuki is prettier than I am!"

Yuki stared at his sister, speechless for a moment. "What…"

"What the heck has that got to do with anything!"

XXX

Maybe he shouldn't have laughed so hard earlier; after Shuichi had finally done his share of uncontrollable giggling, he had gone off looking for Yuki and found his car gone. "Still…he didn't have to leave without me!" Shuichi huffed, though he wasn't really upset; he had deserved it after all. "Oh well, I'll make it up to him later!" His course of action decided, Shuichi hummed to himself as he strolled home, in a good mood.

"FIRE! That house is on fire!"

Shuichi slowed down for a spilt second before quickening his pace, panic gnawing at him. "Fire? It couldn't be Yuki's house…I'm just being paranoid." Even as he thought that, Shuichi's feet moved faster.

"Fire!"

He stopped dead in his sprint, his mind screaming in horrified denial as he looked up at the-now on fire-familiar house. "No…this can't be happening. It can't be…"

The growing flames licked the edges of the house; it danced mockingly on the roof, a death-promising dance. All around, people were gathering. An eerie song of shouts, of screams filled the air. From a far off distance, the sound of fire engines wailed plaintively.

"NOOOOO!"

I think I've finally lost it. (not that I've ever had it) I did try to resist adding crack into the story but…I just couldn't help it! The story was getting kinda gloomy and serious and I was wondering which Disney character suited Yuki best and Snow White came to mind because; you know, Snow White is Shira Yuki in Japanese… I kept telling myself to write a kiss scene all the way and…this is what turned out. Erm…well…at least Yuki kissed someone! .:laughs nervously:. Not the right person though…a practice? LOL. I know teachers probably aren't allowed to take part in dramas but lets just ignore it for the sake of writing this chapter! .:rereads what she wrote:. Okay, I don't know what I'm crapping about anymore…Sorry. I'll shut up now… .:hides in a corner:. Oh yea, please review!