Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men: Evolution or Pirates of the Caribbean. Oh, and Paige is Sam's little sister, borrowed from the comics, which I also don't own, not even on paper.

Scene One – Send Ships; Send Big Ships

"Jean…I'm almost afraid to ask…" Bobby gulped. "But how did we get an entire ocean in here?"

Jean sighed wearily. "Honestly, Bobby, that is a few feet of water and a backdrop! It is not an entire ocean!"

"Well, it looks like an entire ocean." Bobby maintained stubbornly.

"It's supposed to!" Jean rolled her eyes and lifted the megaphone again. "Places, everybody! Paige, take your parasol and head to the bow. Or is it the stern?"

"The bow." Kitty answered. "The stern is the back end."

"Thank you." Jean cleared her throat. "ACTION!"

As Forge started up a fog machine, Paige opened her parasol and gazed out over the water, singing to herself. "We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and loot; drink up me hearties, yo ho! We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot; drink up me hearties, yo ho! Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me! We extort, we pilfer, we filch and sack; drink up…"

A hand descended on her shoulder and she gasped, spinning around, the parasol falling from her hand.

"Quiet, missy!" Logan hissed. "Cursed pirates sail these waters! You don't want to bring 'em down on us, do you?!"

Amanda leaned over to Jean. "I think he's just enjoying scaring her."

"I think you're right." Jean whispered back.

"Mr. Logan, that will do!" Bobby snapped, striding up in a strange wig. Off-stage, Jubilee stuffed her fist into her mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

"She was singing about pirates!" Logan protested. "Bad luck to be singing about pirates with us mired in this unnatural fog, mark my words."

"Consider them marked." Bobby told him, knowing that for once Logan couldn't get him for talking back. "On your way."

"Aye Lieutenant." Logan muttered, walking off and taking a swig from his hip flask. "It's bad luck to have a woman onboard too, even a miniature one."

"I think it'd be rather exciting to meet a pirate." Paige commented.

"Think again, Miss Summers." Bobby chided sternly…only, being Bobby, it came out more as a bad impersonation of Scott. Of course, it being Bobby, that may have been intentional. "Vile and dissolute creatures, the lot of them. Jean, what does dissolute mean?"

"Immoral." Jean answered.

"Right." Bobby paused. "And what does that mean?"

"Does bad things." Jean rolled her eyes. "And you wonder why you're failing English. Carry on."

"Right." Bobby cleared his throat and got back into character. "I intend to see to it that any man who sails under a pirate flag or wears a pirate brand gets what he deserves: a short drop and a sudden stop."

Curious, Paige looked to Logan who mimed a very realistic hanging.

Scott appeared out of nowhere, also wearing a very strange wig, but not looking quite as ridiculous as Bobby. "Lieutenant Drake, I appreciate your fervour, but I'm…er…I'm concerned about the effect the subject will have on my daughter."

Bobby nodded sharply. "My apologies, Governor Summers."

"Actually, I find it all fascinating." Paige admitted.

Scott pulled a face. "Yes, that's what concerns me."

Paige smiled and began to search the water for her parasol. She found it floating a few metres away and sighed, but her disappointment changed to confusion when she noticed something else floating alongside it. Her gaze travelling further out, she noticed a large plank of wood with something balanced on top of it. Narrowing her eyes and leaning out a little further, she could just make out that the shape was…

"A boy! Look, there's a boy in the water!"

Instantly, Scott and Bobby were at her side. "Man overboard!" Bobby hollered. "Man the ropes! Fetch a hook! Haul him aboard!"

Paige hung back as Jamie was pulled onto the deck, her face pale with worry.

Bobby bent over him. "He's still breathing."

Logan looked out over the water and sucked in his breath. "Mary, Mother of God!"

"What happened here?!" Scott demanded, seeing the burning ship. "And why didn't we notice it earlier?"

"I don't know." Jean sighed. "Just go with it!"

"It was most likely the powder magazine." Bobby decided. "Merchant vessels run heavily armed."

"Lot good it did them." Logan grunted. "What? Everyone's thinking it; I'm just saying it! Pirates."

"Now there's no proof of that." Scott threw a significant look at Paige, who was listening intently to the argument. "It was probably an accident."

"Rouse the captain immediately!" Bobby ordered. "Heave to and take in sail! Launch the boats!"

"Heave to!" The sailors – mostly Jamie clones – called.

Scott put a hand on Paige's shoulder. "Katherine, I want you to accompany the boy; he'll be in your charge. Take care of him."

Paige nodded and knelt by Jamie's head; almost immediately, he jolted away and grasped her wrist in a panic. "It's okay." She soothed, carefully loosening his grip. "My name's Katherine Summers."

"Lance Alvers." Jamie coughed out.

"I'm watching over you, Lance." Paige promised as he fell unconscious again. Her eyes fell on a chain around his neck and she pulled it out to reveal a medallion. She gasped. "You're a pirate!"

"Has he said anything?" Bobby asked, coming over.

Paige hastily hid the medallion behind her back. "His name is Lance Alvers. That's all I found out."

"Take him below!" Bobby ordered.

As the sailors left with Jamie, Paige studied the medallion closer, then looked back at the burning ship. Her eyes widened as a second ship came into view, with black sails and a black flag at the mast. She closed her eyes tightly.

"Cut!" Jean called. "Kitty, you ready?"

"When you are." Kitty confirmed as the next scene floated into place. She slipped into the bed and closed her eyes.

"Action!"

With a start, Kitty's eyes opened and she sat up and got out of bed, hurrying over to the chest of drawers. Pulling open the top drawer, she popped the bottom out and removed the medallion, holding it up to the light.

A knocking at the door startled her.

"Katherine?" Scott called. "Are you awake? Are you decent?"

Quickly, Kitty threw the medallion over her neck and tucked it into her nightdress. "Yes!" She grabbed a robe and put it on. "Yes!"

Scott opened the door and Amara slipped past him with a box, which she laid on the bed to allow her to draw the curtains. "Still abed at this hour? It's a beautiful day. I have a gift for you."

Amara opened the box and lifted out an extravagant dress.

"Oh, it's beautiful!" Kitty commented.

"Isn't it?" Scott agreed.

"May I enquire as to the occasion?" Kitty asked.

"Does a father need an occasion to dote upon his daughter?" Scott responded. "Go on."

Kitty slipped behind a partition and Amara helped her change into her next costume.

"Actually…" Scott coughed sheepishly. "I had hoped you might wear it to the ceremony today."

"What ceremony?" Kitty called.

"Captain Drake's promotion ceremony." Scott answered.

Kitty stuck her head out. "I knew it!"

"Commodore Drake, as he's about to become." Scott continued, paying no attention to her. "A fine gentleman, don't you think? He fancies you, you know."

Amara laced the corset up and Kitty gasped for air.

"Katherine? How's it coming?"

"It's difficult to say!" Kitty responded in a strained voice.

"I'm told it's the latest fashion in London." Scott told her.

"Well, women in London must have…" Kitty gasped again "…learned not to breathe!"

Jamie, in a cameo, knocked on the open door. "Milord, you have a visitor."

Down in the entrance hall, Lance was waiting, looking a cross between bored and apprehensive; he reached out to a wall-sconce and part of it broke off. Glancing around nervously, he dropped it into a cane stand and pretended nothing had happened.

"Ah, Mr. Alvers!" Scott greeted, coming down the stairs. "Good to see you again. There's a lie if ever I heard one."

"Scott!" Jean snapped. "I know you don't like him, but would you try to stick to the script?!"

Flinching away from his angry wife, Scott nodded; Lance choked back a joke in favour of not getting killed by a furious redhead and just got on with it. "Good day, sir; I have your order." He opened the case he was holding and presented Scott with a sword.

Scott unsheathed it. "Well!"

"The blade is folded steel. That's gold filigree laid into the handle. If I may?" Lance took the sword back and balanced it. "Perfectly balanced. The tang is nearly the full width of the blade." He flipped the sword with precision and presented it.

"And what exactly does that mean?" Scott muttered.

Lance shrugged. "I have no idea."

Letting it pass, Scott took the sword back. "Impressive. Very impressive. Commodore Drake will be very pleased with this. Do pass my compliments on to your master, hmmm?"

"I shall." Lance nodded, looking a little irritated. "A craftsman is always pleased to hear his work is appreciated."

Scott was about to respond when he caught sight of his 'daughter' coming down the stairs. "Oh, Katherine, you look absolutely stunning!"

"Lance!" Kitty greeted, ignoring him. "It's so good to see you! I had a dream about last night!"

"About me?" Lance asked, looking startled.

"Yes, well, is that entirely proper for you to..." Scott began.

"About the day we met." Kitty continued. "Do you remember?"

Lance smiled. "How could I forget, Miss Summers?"

Kitty laughed. "Lance, how many times must I ask you to call me Katherine?"

"You never have." Lance pointed out. "You hate people calling you that."

Jean groaned and dropped her head into her hands. "Lance! Katherine is more this time period than Kitty, now would you just stick to the script!"

"At least once more, Miss Summers, as always." Lance complied.

"There, you see?" Scott sighed with relief. "At least the boy has a sense of propriety! Now, we really must be going." He handed Kitty her parasol. "There you are."

Kitty opened it, looking slightly hurt. "Good day, Mr. Alvers."

"Come along." Scott helped her into the carriage, leaving Lance standing in the doorway.

Lance watched as the carriage trundled down the drive. "Good day…Katherine."

"And cut!" Jean called. "Well, that wasn't too bad."

"I think it went quite well, actually." Amanda agreed. "But it'll get worse."

"Oh, definitely." Jean nodded. "Just remember why we're doing this people."

"Yeah, we know." Kitty rolled her eyes. "Bayville Children's Hospital. These kids had better be grateful."

"Kitty, why are you changing?" Jean demanded. "You need that costume next scene."

"Yeah, well, I'll need a break first." Kitty snapped. "I can't breathe!"

AN: Next, Bobby proposes and Pietro rips Kitty's dress off…think I can stop Lance from killing them? Review please!