Disclaimer: I don't own XME or Pirates of the Caribbean. Paige Guthrie and Sarah Rushman both came from the comics and I don't own them either. Lexa is better known as X-23.
Scene Two – Pirates and Proposals
Once Jean had sorted out the mini-fights that had broken out during the break, she returned to her main problem. "Kitty, just put the dress on!"
"No!"
"Put the dress on please!" Jean pleaded.
"It's not going to happen, Jean!" Kitty insisted, glaring at her costume. "It's evil and out to get me."
"Come on, Kitty." Pietro smirked from his 'ship'. "The sooner you put it on, the sooner I get to rip it off."
"Stop hitting on my girl, Maximoff." Lance warned.
"Come on, Kitty, think of the children!" Jean changed her approach quickly. "They need us!"
"Oh, fine!" Kitty snapped, grabbing the dress and stalking off into her dressing room.
"Lance, you come and sit here." Jean commanded, gesturing to the seat next to her. "I want you where I can keep an eye on you."
"I'm not going to kill anyone!" Lance protested.
"I'll be the judge of that." Jean lifted him telekinetically and dropped him into the next chair. "Okay, Quicksilver, on to the mast of your sinking ship please! Storm, could we get a breeze please?"
Ororo's eyes glowed white and a soft breeze played across the water as Pietro stood on the mast of his 'ship', looking pretty damn impressive.
Lexa sighed. "You know, I'm not one for swooning, but I may well make an exception."
Pietro smirked down at her and, in the process, noticed that his boat had sprung a leak. Jumping down from the mast he seized a bucket and began bailing out.
"Hasn't quite got the same effect, has it?" Tabby commented.
"Oh, shut up." Pietro hissed, then pretended to catch sight of the three skeletons hanging from the rock. "Red, couldn't you have made them look more realistic?"
Jean smiled sweetly. "I could…but we needed you in the cast."
Pietro swallowed. "Right, sticking to the script now." He took off his hat and saluted the three skeletons, taking note of the sign that read Pirates, Ye Be Warned.
As the 'ship' reached the harbour, Pietro climbed back onto the mast, taking no notice of the boat sinking until he stepped straight on to the dock. "Anyone else think that it's very convenient that it reached that height at that time?"
Jean sighed. "Oh, just get on with it!"
"Right." Pietro headed along the dock, past Jamie.
"What?" Jamie did a double-take and hurried after him. "Hold up there, mate! It's a shilling to tie your boat up at the dock."
Both looked at what was left of the boat.
"And I shall need to know your name." Jamie added, opening his log book.
"What do you say to three shillings…" Pietro dropped three coins on the open page "…and we forget the name."
Jamie eyed him for a second. "Welcome to Port Royal, Mr. Smith."
As Pietro continued on his way, he caught sight of the money pouch on Jamie's stand and slipped it into his pocket.
Up at the fort, the soldiers were getting ready for Bobby's promotion ceremony and were marching around as per order.
"Two paces march! Right about face! Present arms!"
Finally forming two lines, they created an arch with their bayonets and Bobby walked through the middle to where Scott was waiting with the new sword. He presented the sword to Bobby who began performing strange tricks with it, having to rely on Jean's telekinesis to keep from cutting himself.
Kitty stood in the crowd, fanning herself and trying to breathe evenly. The sun wasn't helping.
Down at the docks, Pietro caught sight of a ship tied up all on its lonesome and decided to go and keep it company.
Sam and Alex grabbed their bayonets and hurried to cut him off.
"This dock is off-limit to civilians." Sam stated stiffly.
"I'm terribly sorry; I didn't know." Pietro told him. "If I see one, I shall inform you immediately." He moved to get past them, but they still cut him off, so he tried a different approach. "Apparently there's some high-toned and fancy to-do up at the fort. How could it be that two upstanding gentlemen such as yourselves did not merit an invitation?"
Sam looked a little confused. "Someone has to make sure this dock stays off-limits to civilians."
"It's a fine goal, to be sure." Pietro said. "But it seems to me that a…" he moved to point at another ship on the next dock and they jumped in front of him again "…a ship like that makes this one here a bit superfluous, really. And superfluous means?"
Jean groaned and began banging her head against her clipboard.
"More than necessary." Amanda answered, tugging the board out of Jean's hands.
"Ah."
"Oh, the Dauntless is the power in these waters, true enough." Sam agreed. "But there's no ship that can match the Interceptor for speed."
Pietro pretended to think for a few seconds. "I've heard of one. It's supposed to be very fast…nigh uncatchable…the Black Pearl."
Alex sniggered. "Well, there's no real ship that can match the Interceptor."
"The Black Pearl is a real ship." Sam told him.
Alex sighed. "No, no, it's not."
"Yes, it is." Sam insisted. "I've seen it."
"You've seen it?" Alex asked.
"Yes."
"You haven't seen it!" Alex rolled his eyes.
"Yes, I have!" Sam maintained.
Alex took his attention off of Pietro for a second. "You've seen a ship with black sails, that's crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that hell itself spat him back out?"
"No." Sam admitted.
"No." Alex turned back to Pietro, when…
"But I have seen a ship with black sails." Sam continued.
"Oh!" Alex completely took his attention away from Pietro. "And no ship that's not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil hell itself spat him back out could possibly have black sails therefore couldn't possibly be any other ship than the Black Pearl. Is that what you're saying?"
While all this was going on, it should be noted that Pietro had slipped away to the Interceptor.
Sam nodded. "No."
Alex smirked. "Like I said, there's no real ship that can match the Interceptor…"He turned back to Pietro, only to realise that he was gone.
"Hey!" Sam shouted, seeing Pietro at the wheel of the ship. "You! Get away from there."
They rushed onboard, bayonets at the ready.
"You don't have permission to be aboard there, mate." Alex added.
"I'm sorry, it's just – it's such a pretty boat. Ship." Pietro corrected.
"What's your name?" Sam demanded
"Smith." Pietro answered. "Or Smithy, if you like."
"What's your purpose in Port Royal, Mr. Smith?" Alex asked, sounding disbelieving.
"Yeah, and no lies." Alex added.
Pietro sighed. "Well, then, I confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasley black guts out!"
Sam scowled. "I said no lies!"
"I think he's telling the truth." Alex said.
Sam sighed. "If he were telling the truth, he wouldn't have told us."
"Unless, of course, he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you." Pietro supplied, confusing them even more.
Up on the battlements, the ceremony was over and everyone was milling around, except Kitty, who was still desperately trying to force air into her lungs.
Nervously, Bobby approached her. "May I have a moment?"
Kitty nodded and followed him out to the edge of the battlements, leaning on the wall to steady herself.
"Uh, you look lovely, Katherine." Bobby told her truthfully. "I, uh, apologize if I seem forward, but I…must speak my mind. This promotion throws into sharp relief that which I have not yet achieved. Uh…a marriage to a fine woman." He glanced at Jubilee who just smirked at him. Swallowing hard, he turned back to his companion. "You have become a fine woman, Katherine."
"I can't breathe." Kitty gasped.
Bobby chuckled weakly. "Yes, I…I'm a bit nervous myself."
Of course, that wasn't what Kitty meant. Finally running out of air, she fainted falling straight off of the battlements.
Down on the Interceptor, Pietro was just finishing telling Sam and Alex what appeared to be a long-winded and thrilling tale. "…and then they made me their chief."
There was a loud splash and they all looked around to see Kitty sink underwater.
Up on the battlements, Bobby turned to see Kitty missing. "Katherine?" He glanced down at the water to see the ripples. "Katherine! My God!" He began pulling of his jacket, intending to dive down and rescue her.
Kurt and a few other soldiers rushed up to him. "The rocks! Sir, it's a miracle she missed them."
Down on the Interceptor, Pietro turned to Alex. "Will you be saving her then?"
"I can't swim." Alex said. "Hang on! Of course I can swim, I'm a surfer!"
"I know that!" Jean sighed. "But it's crucial to the plot that you can't!"
Pietro looked at Sam, who shrugged. "Pride of the King's Navy you are." He shoved his hat into Alex's hands and gave his effects to Sam. "Do not lose these." He climbed up on to the side of the ship and dived in.
As Kitty landed on the sea-floor, the medallion floated out of her dress and pulsed, sending a ripple through the water.
"What was that?" Sam asked.
As Alex shrugged, a wind started up, blowing the flag around. Out on the rock, the pirate skeletons swayed in the wind. Alex and Sam grabbed their hats to keep from losing them.
Pietro managed to get Kitty to the surface, but her dress weighed them down and dragged them both under. Giving up, he ripped the dress off and pulled her towards the docks; Sam and Alex raced to meet them.
"I got her." Sam helped Pietro lay Kitty on the dock. "She's not breathing!"
"Move!" Pietro commanded. He grabbed a knife and cut the corset, ripping it open. As if on cue, Kitty coughed and began gasping for breath. All three immediately averted their eyes.
"Towel, sugar?" Rogue offered.
Kitty took it. "Thanks."
"Are you decent?" Sam asked, eyes tightly closed.
Kitty rolled her eyes. "Yes, you can look."
"Back to the script it is then." Sam decided.
"Never would've thought of that." Alex admitted as Pietro shoved the corset into Sam's hands.
"Clearly you've never been to Singapore." Pietro quipped. At that moment, he caught sight of the medallion. "Where did you get that?"
A sword suddenly appeared in his face. "On your feet." Bobby ordered.
"Katherine!" Scott cried, helping her to her feet. "Are you alright?"
"Yes, I'm fine." Kitty accepted the blanket he wrapped around her shoulders.
Scott glared at Sam, who dropped the corset and gestured to Pietro. "Shoot him!"
"Father!" Kitty protested. "Commodore, do you really intend to kill my rescuer?"
Looking a little sheepish, Bobby sheathed his sword and held out his hand. "I believe thanks are in order." As Pietro shook his hand, he pushed his sleeve up, revealing a 'P'. "Had a brush with the East India Trading company, did we, pirate?"
"Hang him." Scott commanded.
"Keep your guns on him, men. Wagner, fetch some irons." Bobby pushed the sleeve up a little further, revealing a lightning bolt. "Well, well…Pietro Maximoff, isn't it?"
Pietro cleared his throat. "Captain Pietro Maximoff , if you please, sir."
Bobby looked around, "Well, I don't see your ship…Captain."
Pietro shrugged. "I'm in the market as it were."
"He said he'd come to commandeer one." Sam cut in.
"Told ya he was telling the truth." Alex handed everything over to Scott. "These are his, sir."
Bobby picked up the gun and examined it. "No additional shots nor powder." He opened the compass. "A compass that doesn't point north." He smirked and pulled the sword out a little. "And I half expected it to be made of wood." He sheathed the sword again. "You are without doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of."
Pietro held up a finger. "But you have heard of me." He was led along the dock to be put in chains.
Kitty discarded the blanket and followed them. "Commodore, I really must protest."
"Carefully, Lieutenant." Bobby warned.
Kitty moved in between Bobby and Pietro. "Pirate or not this man saved my life."
"One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness." Bobby told her.
"Though it seems enough to condemn him." Pietro muttered.
Bobby gritted his teeth. "Indeed."
"Finally." As the binds were complete, Pietro threw the chains over Kitty's head and pulled her to him, making her gasp with shock and effectively holding her hostage.
Offstage, Jean put a calming hand on Lance's shoulder, telepathically reminding him that they were only acting.
"No, don't shoot!" Scott cried.
"No, duh!" Bobby rolled his eyes.
Jean sighed. "I knew he couldn't stay professional for too long. Can we keep the adlibbing to a minimum please?"
Pietro smirked. "I knew you'd warm up to me. Commodore Drake, my effects, please, and my hat."
Bobby didn't move.
"Commodore!" Pietro repeated warningly, tightening his hold a little. "Katherine…It is Katherine, isn't it?"
"It's Miss Summers." Kitty corrected through gritted teeth.
"Miss Summers, if you'd be so kind. Come, come, dear. We don't have all day."
Reluctantly Bobby handed the effects to Kitty,
Pietro turned her so she was facing him and the tip of his gun was aimed at her head. "Now if you'd be very kind."
Kitty forced the hat onto Pietro's head and fixed the rest of them on, while Pietro smirked at Bobby – and at Lance – over her shoulder.
"Easy on the goods, darling." He murmured.
"You're despicable." Kitty told him.
Pietro shrugged. "Sticks and stones, love. I saved your life, you save mine, we're square." He spun her around again and began walking backwards. "Gentlemen, m'lady, you will always remember this as the day that you almost caught Captain Pietro Maximoff!" He released her and pushed her into Scott and Bobby, before jumping and catching hold of the bar thing that holds the sails up.
(AN: You can tell my knowledge of ships is minimal, can't you?)
"Now, will you shoot him?" Scott demanded.
"Open fire!" Bobby ordered.
The soldiers began firing as Pietro swung around and around. Fortunately, they all had awful aim and missed every time. Finally coming to a stop, Pietro managed to loop his chains over a rope and slid down it, before making a run for it.
"On his heels." Bobby called. "Wagner, Mr. Maximoff has a dawn appointment with the gallows. I would hate for him to miss it."
Kurt nodded and led the rest of the soldiers into town, totally confusing all the townspeople, because they had no idea what was going on.
"Search upstairs. Look lively, men."
A group of soldiers ran past a statue of a blacksmith…holding a sword…Hmm, that doesn't seem right…
"And cut!" Jean called.
"Please don't kill me!" Bobby cried immediately.
"I'm not going to kill you." Lance rolled his eyes. "Pietro, on the other hand…"
"Now come on, Lance; I'm just reading the script!" Pietro protested. "Lexa, help me out here!"
Lexa pondered for a minute. "No, I don't think I will."
Pietro swallowed. "Kitty, please help me!"
"Well, since you said please," Kitty sighed, "Lance, don't hurt him; it was in the script and I was acting."
"Yeah, but…" Lance began.
Giving up on convincing him, Kitty decided to take the road less travelled and just kissed him instead, causing him to stop protesting and wrap his arms around her.
Scott groaned. "Kitty! I don't need to see that!"
Jean put a hand on his shoulder. "Just ignore it. At least this way you'll still have a full team afterwards."
"That's true." Scott agreed, turning his back on them. "That's very true."
"Mind you, I can't wait to see what Kitty'll have to do to stop Lance killing people later." Jean commented. "This was a very mild scene."
Scott paled. "Jean, why? Why do you do this? Why?"
AN: Why, indeed? Think maybe Jean likes tormenting Scott as much as we do?
Next scene: Lance and Pietro have a sword-fight…with real swords…don't try this at home, kiddies!
Review please!