I'm genuily sorry for the lack of updates. I had this major writer's block .UGH. But anyway, I wanna thanked all of you who read it, reviewed it and put it on story alerts. That means a lot to me. I do hope you'll enjoy this chapter though.

CHAPTER 4

All you know is that you've been running, running so fast that you could even hear your heart beating in your chest. You don't even know how you ended up here in the bathroom you only hope that you're in the women's one though.

You locked in of those bathrooms, sat on the floor, with your legs crossed beneath you and your head in your hands.

You're still crying, you never thought that after all these years you two would see each other. You know that he has questions, questions that need to be answered but you're not ready yet,you're not prepared enough for that. Even though you're know deep down that prepared or not you would have never been ready.

You realize that facing him means facing the past. A past you swore that you would forget but the truth is, you could never put the past behind. It's not only stuck in your head but in your heart. This man found his way through your heart and soul and you can't forget that. It's impossible.

You wished that he'd followed you though, that he was there with you, in this moment, his strong arms wrapped up around you, your head on his chest and him giving you kisses on your forehead and stroking your hair at the same time. That's what you want right now, just you and him wrapped up in one, but you know that's impossible because you're the only who's responsible for what happened.

You also wished that you handled things better, if you had maybe you two would have still be together, still going strong and happily together, all right maybe not happily but at least together. You'll never know, because you might have ruined everything out of fear.

You can still feel the tears streaming down your face,burning your cheeks at the same time. You think back three years ago when the conference was finished

Three years ago

The conference was done. You still couldn't believe that the man you had a one night stand with ended up being Mark Sloan. You don't know what to do what to say, even though there's nothing to say, but still. During the whole thing, he's been staring at you, he didn't lower his eyes one bit.

So as soon as you heard that everyone could leave, you didn't waste a second, you got up and walked fast, fast enough to at least get to the front door in a matter of seconds. But instead of going to the door, you ended up being grabbed by the arm and hear someone telling you "Follow me".

You didn't even need to ask who it was, because you can recognize it everywhere. Just hearing his voice makes you feel something down your stomach which is getting up to your throat.

You followed up his lead and minutes later, you found your back against a wall, and his lips against yours claiming your mouth with his tongues all over again like there was no tomorrow. You thanked God for the wall because you know that without it you would fall apart. He engaged you in one of these kisses that make you forget your name and make your knees go weak.

A few moment later, he freed you from his lips because unfortunately breath was needed. Forehead against forehead, your arms still linked around his neck, and his hands stroking your cheeks, you didn't know what to think and to do about what just happened.

After minutes of silence he finally spoke "you know you hurt my feelings, you left without saying goodbye."

You don't know if he's joking or if he's serious but the way his piercing blue eyes are looking at you, you can feel that he's serious about it.

So you answered the first that came on your mind

"Well ....you know we had an one night stand... and the point of having one is to leave as soon as possible in the morning, even though one of us.. not us but one of the people involved wants to do the morning after. Though... I'm not saying that i didn't want to do it,but I'm not saying that i wanted either is just that...."

He didn't even let you finish your damn rambling because all you know is that he shut you up the only way he knew how: Kissing you.

After he kissed you he added:"Look I know you don't know me and I don't know you. But I'd like to see you again. Tonight, at my penthouse"

You stunned to say the least, you would have never thought that he would wanted something more with you.

You really wanted to say something because every time you open your mouth, you close it immediately because the words don't get out of your mouth.

Noticing that you were still silent,he decided to peck your lips and then said:"Well I hope to see you tonight around 8pm. I know you want it anyway,so why deprive yourself of something good?

You already know my adress, i'd be honored for you to join me tonight. The choice is up to, i'll be waiting"

He winked at you and turned, walking back toward the door, leaving you all alone and speechless.

Back to present day

This moment which happened years ago brought a smile to your face. You can still remember little details about it, like the way he kissed, touched you in that moment. The way he smelt, looked at you. Those things were scared in your heart through your soul.

You want him to hold you in his arms so badly, that's all you're asking and a part of you deep down know that you're crying because you miss him like crazy. He's the missing piece of your life. He's the only one who could get through to you like he did three years ago.

You were so caught up in the moment, that you didn't feel when someone opened the door and sat besides you. You thought you locked the door though. You don't even need to open your eyes, because you already know that's him.

He always had the ability to come to you when you needed him the most in your life.

He gently put his arms around you, pulled you towards his chest and right there you let yourself cry more, wetting his scrubs at the same time. Your arms found the back of neck because you need to hold on to him; at least for this moment.

Your mother, she used to say that home isn't a place that you live, it's the place that lives inside of you. And you guess if that's true … he's your home.

Your head against his chest, him stroking your back, no words are needed because you're finally home and that's all you've been asking for.

You know deep down that you're not only crying because of him, but you realized today when you woke this morning that your daughter would have been two today. You miss her so much. She was the spitting image of her father, she was beautiful. You're crying because you would never get the chance to see her grow, to crawl, walk, saying mama, her first day at preschool and others...and you're crying more because your know that her father never had the chance to meet her less alone say goodbye to her.

Today is so much harder now, because you never thought that you would have faced Mark.

Your crying started to slow down a lit bit, you want to reach to your cheeks and wipe your tears , but he was more faster than you were. He cupped your face with his hands, wiped all your tears with his fingers, and looked at you straight in your eyes.

No words are expressed, because you can read his soul like a book and he can do the same thing about you too.

You know he's hurt, for the way you treated him back in New York but you hope, hope that through your eyes, he'll be able to see through the flaws of your heart and soul where you damn know that he's still got control after all these years.

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