Ah! Another chapter! Don't expect any more for at least a week, as I'm not allowed to procrastinate any more - assignments is almost DUE dammit!
AND I have to prepare for the invisible children protest on the 25th (visit or get killed by child soldiers)
On with the show!
---
Sakura sat, staring at her two patients. Itachi, she wasn't too surprised at. But Zetsu?
'... He has a plant on his head...'
'Technically, it's on his shoulders, Inner.'
'He has a PLANT on his shoulders...'
'It would appear so.'
'How the heck do we diagnose him? Is he plant or man?'
'We'll just check his system like everyone else, I guess.'
'Let's do Itachi first.'
'Deal,' Sakura agreed with herself in relief.
"Uchiha-san, please sit on the chair in front of me," she addressed him, giving Zetsu an apologetic smile. "Zetsu-san, I will get to you in a minute."
Her patients obeyed, and Sakura finally got down to business.
"Close your left eye, and read that eye chart," she pointed to the wall.
"Ka, sa, me, ku, to, n, ga, se, ro, ... o, ... te-"
"That's enough," Sakura interrupted him, scribbling down some notes. "Now with the other eye. Don't cheat."
With his right eye, he gave up around 'to'.
"Couldn't even get to the 'n' with that one?" Sakura noted with a little amusement. "And I thought that was the Uchiha clans favourite sound."
"... ... Hn," he scowled, and looked away.
"Exactly," she smirked. "Turn back to me, Uchiha-san. I have to be able to get to your eyes if I want to examine them."
He obeyed moodily.
"Okay, your next test is to intercept each of the senbon I throw with your own," she explained, giving him a handful of needles.
She threw them singularly, in pairs, and then in a bunch of seven. Somehow, despite his terrible sight, he managed to intercept all of them.
"Interesting," she muttered. "Itachi, could you actually see those senbon, or were you tracing them by sound.
"Sound, mostly," he admitted. "I saw a few glints from the light."
"Remind me not to fight you in the dark," she laughed, moving closer to him, to properly examine his eyes. "Follow my finger with your eyes, please."
She moved her finger off to the left, and flipped the lid of his right eye with her spare hand. Throughout the tests, she kept up her professional front, while her mind was in turmoil.
'He's as blind as a bat. This will take several long sessions of chakra surgery to fix.'
'And that's if I even want to fix it.'
'He could turn on us easily.'
'He could fight Konoha.'
'He could kill Sasuke-kun.'
Outer Sakura smirked at the thought.
'He could kill Sasuke-teme.'
'You really want him to die?'
'He betrayed us. And as long as he lives, Naruto will continue in his pain. Sasuke must die. Then we can get closure and move on. All of us.'
Inner Sakura seemed to be mulling this over, as Sakura continued her examination.
"On a scale of one to ten, one being peachy, ten being agony, how much to your eyes hurt?" she asked, pen at the ready.
"...Eight," the Uchiha admitted.
"Alright, onto the last part of our exam, I need to check your eyes via chakra," she informed him, leaning forwards and touching her fingers to his temples. "Try to relax."
She focused her mind, and flowed her chakra into his eyes, retrieving information cell by cell.
"I see..." she sighed. "They're in a pretty bad state. Worse than Kakashi-sensei's by far, but that's because he keeps his covered most of the time."
"Can you heal them?" he asked, a pained expression on his face.
"I can, yes," she answered, a little smug. "Whether I will or not is the question. I'll have to talk to your leader first. I'll warn you now, though: if you decide to go through with it, there will be multiple agony filled sessions with me, and even if I restore you with perfect eyesight, they'll still start the decaying process each time you use sharingan."
Itachi frowned at her answer. "How difficult is this process."
"I am the only medic I know of with sufficient experience and knowledge of the sharingan, thanks mainly to Kaka-sensei. The only other person who might be able to do it is Tsunade-shishou herself, and she'd likely have to study my notes first, which would take a month. Any other random you found with an aptitude for medic-work would take about four years to train sufficiently and they still wouldn't be ready," she smirked. "Answer your question?"
Itachi's frown intensified.
"Go be emo somewhere else," she shoo-ed him off the chair. "Zetsu-san, it's your turn."
The bi-coloured man took his seat, and watched her warily.
"Okay, you've been having fevers, right?" she waited for his hesitant nod of confirmation. "Tell me about them."
"They come and go. They usually happen after we feast. Or if we don't eat for a while. Or if we're in a cold climate," he responded, two voices coming out of his mouth.
'Is he... like us?' Inner Sakura asked curiously.
'Depends, are you talking about the schitzophrenia or the evil Akatsuki cannibal thing?'
Inner Sakura just scowled.
"How long do they last on average?" she asked, placing the back of her hand to his forehead, to check his current temperature.
"Sometimes it's hours, sometimes it's weeks," he answered, eyes not leaving her own. "Will you actually heal us? Or are you going to let us rot?"
"Hmm, temperature's normal right now. I'll do what I can for you Zetsu-san. I don't have a grudge against you in particular," she gave him a small smile. "But I'm going to have to ask you something. If I do help you, will you still harm Konoha?"
"You're bribing us," Zetsu glared at her. "Our life for your village."
"Zetsu," she sighed. "I'm just trying to find out if I can trust you. I don't want to give you a kunai if you're going to stab me with it – you can understand that, right?"
"You won't let us die?" Zetsu asked her again, a little confused.
"Will you fight against Konoha?" she repeated, frowning.
"If you heal us, We won't touch anyone from Konoha," Zetsu bargained. "But if you don't, We'll spend what's left of our life snacking on your friends."
"Glad we're understood then. Let's get back to the exam," she answered him with a smile. "Now, how does this plant appendage work? Has it got nerves and vains running through it?"
"Why does that matter?" Black Zetsu scowled.
"It's important to know if this part of you is absorbing nutrients from your body, and how effective your food is at sustaining it and the rest of you. As you probably know, plants run off different food than humans," she explained. "So, mind telling me a bit about yourself?"
Zetsu's answers were often short, and contradicting, and she suspected his black side of straight out lying to her to keep her off track.
'I'd do the same if you were giving away information to a possible enemy,' Inner Sakura admitted. 'If you want the truth, you've got to get him to trust you.'
"Okay, Zetsu-san, I'm going to use my chakra to search your systems. Could you take off your cloak, and lie down on the bed," she said outwardly, absorbing what her alternate personality had told her.
Zetsu obeyed slowly, obviously hesitant of putting himself in such a vulnerable position.
"Pull anything funny, and We'll sink through the bed," Black Zetsu threatened.
"Don't scare her, she's supposed to heal us," he chastised himself.
"Calm down Zetsu," she smiled slightly. "I'd be feeling the same if I were in your position. But I promise I wont 'pull anything funny', as you put it."
Zetsu remained silent, and watched as she traced her green chakra through his body.
"Is your schitzophrenia hereditary, Zetsu-san?" she asked curiously, focusing on checking how his organs were operating.
"...We don't know," he hissed. "What's it to you? Do We scare you?"
She smiled again, as she worked.
"Not really. I've also got another personality," she admitted. "But she's stuck in my head, thank goodness."
'And what do you mean by that?!'
"Heheh, probably shouldn't have said that," she winced. "She's useful, and good to have around, but sometimes she says inappropriate things. You probably know what I mean."
"Yes. No."
"So you don't know your parents?" she sighed. "Then I suppose you'd have no idea if you had a family history to do with these fevers."
"No, sorry," Zetsu averted his eyes, now choosing to stare at the ceiling.
"Hmm, this is interesting," she scrunched up her eyebrows in concentration. "Your body converts your food into a nitrogen mix to feed the fly trap around about here," she traced her hands over where the plant merged into his body. "But it takes a lot of energy to do so. Not only that, but it seems you're severely lacking several vitamins. What's your diet like?"
Zetsu remained silent.
'He's embarrassed.'
'I know.'
"I already know you're a cannibal, Zetsu, so I can account at least for a decent iron intake, but can you at least tell me your meat to vegetable ratio or something?" she poked him when he didn't respond except for a glare. "You don't eat fruit or vegetables, do you?" she sighed. "Just meat?"
"Corpses are filling," Black Zetsu stated, as though that should explain everything.
Sakura groaned in irritation.
"Zetsu-san, do you have any reason for not eating fruit or veges? Does it go against your religion or anything?" she asked tiredly. "Or do you just think they're yucky?"
"We don't like vegetables. Or fruit," he stated, a little embarrassed. "We haven't eaten them for years."
"Well, I think this might be the reason why you're getting sick. It's definitely a contributing factor," she gave him an odd look. "You raised yourself, didn't you?"
"What's that got to do with anything?" Zetsu snapped, making the girl wince.
Slowly, she sat down next to him.
"Naruto was raised by himself. He'll only eat vegetables if they're in a bowl of Ichiraku ramen," she sighed, a smile playing on her lips. "Whereas my parents always force fed them to me, until it was ingrained into me to eat them."
"Your point?"
"If you want to get better, Zetsu-san, you're going to have to start eating healthier," she nudged him with her shoulder. "I'll even help you find something you like."
Zetsu surveyed her, the black side of his face remaining immobile, while the white side contorted in confusion.
"Why are you so nice to me?" he asked, his voice heavy in disbelief.
Sakura blinked.
"Well, I've never met another skitz before," she grinned. "In a way, you're a bit like me."
She let her eyes drift from his eyes upward.
"What are you looking at?" Black Zetsu snapped, a little unnerved. She looked far too comfortable.
"Your hair," she spoke, reaching a hand out to brush it softly, not noticing his fly trap twitch. "It reminds me of grass."
"You're one to talk, Sa-ku-ra," Zetsu hissed. "I don't think she was insulting us."
"Huh?" she blinked. "No, it wasn't meant to be an insult, honest!" she held her hands up in defense. "I actually really like your hair."
The bi-coloured man cocked his head to one side, and stared at her for a moment.
"We like your hair colour too, petal," Zetsu grinned suddenly. "It looks delicious. Don't say that."
Sakura giggled a little, his argument reminding her of ones she had all to often with herself.
"Thank you, White Zetsu-kun," she smiled brilliantly at him. "And Black Zetsu-san, I'll take that as a compliment. I think we're done here for today, if you want to put your cloak back on, and we'll see what we can do about experimenting with some healthy food."
--
Sakura had Zetsu lead her back to the kitchens, and help her rummage around in the cupboards.
"Well, there's not much here vegetable-wise, but there's some tinned apple. I could turn it into a pie for you, if you like," she suggested with a smile.
"Apple pie?" Black Zetsu repeated incredulously.
"We will try it if you eat some as well," White Zetsu bargained, making sure she wasn't making fun of him.
Sakura just smiled brilliantly. "Sure! We can share it."
Since that was sorted, Sakura began to make their meal, Zetsu hovering over her shoulder all thw while, just to make sure she wasn't trying to poison him.
Right after she put it in the oven, Kakuzu, Hidan, and Leader all entered the room.
"What are you doing?" Kakuzu asked her, before the others could speak, his voice disbelieving. Zetsu never hung around the kitchen. He wasn't even sure if he'd ever been in the kitchen before.
"Oh, we're cooking an apple pie," Sakura answered carelessly, brushing easily past Zetsu.
"You're WHAT?" Hidan almost fell over in shock.
Sakura looked at him quizzically.
"Zetsu never eats here," Kakuzu explained. "Or, I should say, he never has. I always thought he preferred more, ah, ... meaty kinds of food."
"Since when has our eating habits been any of your concern?" Zetsu growled. "We have decided to experiment."
"Who are you?" Sakura asked the red haired, pierced man who she'd yet to be introduced to. "I'm Sakura."
"...I know," he replied in monotone. "You may address me as Leader-sama."
Sakura's expression immediately transformed into a scowl.
"You're not my leader," she growled.
Much to everyone's surprise, Zetsu put a restraining white hand on her shoulder.
"Call him Pein," he spoke to her gently, before turning his attention to his 'Leader'. "I advise you not to antagonize the medic. She is needed."
"Duly noted," the pierced man nodded. "Haruno-san. We must talk."
"Well, if you hadn't noticed, I'm in the middle of baking a frickin' pie, so the talk either happens here, or later," she scowled.
"Don't push him, petal," Zetsu advised her, getting the attention of everyone else in the room.
"Petal?" Hidan repeated the word as if it left an awful taste in his mouth. "Who the hell do you think you are?"
"Hidan, how long do you think it would take for an immortal to dissolve in acid?" Black Zetsu asked darkly, making the albino shivered. Everyone knew he would carry out his threat if pushed.
"We will talk here," Pein interrupted. "The rest of you, leave until we are finished."
Grumbling, the three Akatsuki members left to wait out in the hall.
"You have made quite the impression on my men," Leader noted aloud.
"Hn," Sakura scowled, taking a page out of the Uchiha's book.
"Will you cooperate?" he asked her, hoping for a longer answer.
"What's in it for me?" she asked bluntly.
"Your life," the red head offered, his words thick with the threat.
"I don't care about that," she glared at the stunned man. "I refuse to heal Itachi if he'll just go and use his sharingan against Konoha. I will not put my friends lives in jeopardy."
"You want a truce, then?"
"I want to know what exactly Akatsuki's goal is. I want to know what you intend to do with the tailed beasts. And I also want you to bargain with Tsunade and Gaara – I'm no diplomat. I cannot make deals on behalf of my country," she stated coldly.
"I am afraid your answers will have to wait for now. I will, however, contact your Hokage and the Kazekage," he nodded to her. "You said you would not heal Itachi yet – what is your verdict on Zetsu?"
"I'll... help where I can with Zetsu," she agreed. "It will take time to build up his immune system."
Pein nodded in understanding.
"Are you happy with your sleeping arrangements?" he inquired.
"You mean with Kakuzu? Yeah, I don't mind him," she shrugged. "He's nice enough to me."
The pierced man frowned at this. 'Kakuzu' and 'nice' did not go together well. Something was wrong.
"Kakuzu has an unfortunate habit of randomly killing people," Pein informed her slowly and deliberately. "He has been through many partners, thus why he is now working with an Immortal. For your safety, I think it would be best if I moved you."
Sakura narrowed her eyes at this.
"I don't get a choice about this, do I?"
"No," he answered. "You will be moved into Kisame's room tonight. He is more temperate, so long as you don't insult his appearance or provoke him."
"Sure, whatever," she waved her hand in dismissal. "I'm sure we'll get along fine."
"Do you have any other queries?" Pein asked her politely.
"Yeah, when can I leave?" she glared at him.
"I will talk this over with your Hokage," he answered vaguely.
"Am I allowed out of this building at all? What about my training?" she asked moodily.
"You will be allowed outside with an escourt. You may train with anyone you can convince to work with you," he offered, making Sakura's jaw drop. She'd never expected him to be so lenient.
"Really? I- ... thanks, I guess," she replied to him quietly, not knowing what to make of the situation.
"Although you are not permitted to leave, it is my wish that you would feel more like a guest here, than a prisoner. All of my men know not to abuse you," he told her, monotone still in place. "The Akatsuki is not evil, as you may have been told, Haruno-san. Everyone here has been affected by conflict. It is Akatsuki's goal to end wars. It is also my wish that you would consider joining us."
"How do you expect to end wars?" Sakura spat. "By dictatorship?"
"All will become clear in time, Haruno-san," Pein dodged the question. "Just keep it in mind for now. I shall talk to you again."
With that, he left the scowling Sakura, who was still glaring at the table when Kakuzu, Hidan and Zetsu re-entered.
"What did he tell you?" Kakuzu asked her, tilting her chin up with a finger to meet his eyes.
"He wants me out of your room, for starters. I move into Kisame's room tonight," she frowned.
Kakuzu let out a growl. "Did he say why?"
"He thinks you might kill me," she answered sarcastically. "Or at least, that's what he says he thinks."
He moved his hand to rest on her head.
"I wont," he promised.
Hidan shoved him roughly out of the way, and slung an arm around her shoulders.
"What else did he say? How long are you staying in this f***ing s*** hole?" he grinned at her.
"Well, I don't know," she removed Hidan's hand from her shoulder, and gave Kakuzu a hand up. "He said he's going to talk to Tsunade and Gaara about an agreement, in exchange for me to heal Itachi," she explained, noticing Zetsu was hanging back, observing her interactions with the two men who were glaring daggers at each other.
"What about my fevers?" Zetsu asked, watching her impassively. "Are you still going to help me?"
"I already said I would," she said, giving him a lopsided smile. "Come on, our pie's done."
Zetsu passed the two men who were trading threats, and helped Sakura with their freshly baked pie. Despite himself, his mouth started watering. He'd never eaten anything home cooked like this before.
"Ne, Sakura-chan! That smells f***ing good!" Hidan shoved his partner aside, and approached the pinkette with a grin. "When you become my wife, you should cook for me all the time!"
"Hidan, have I ever actually agreed to marry you?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Not yet, but you will," he retorted cheekily. "Can I have some of that?"
"The pie's mine," hissed Zetsu, suddenly feeling possessive.
Sakura giggled. "Sorry Hidan. This one is for Zetsu. It's for his health, so the more he eats of it, the better."
"What are you trying to accomplish, anyway?" Kakuzu asked, a little bitterly. "Trying to turn the cannibal into a vegetarian?"
She frowned at the stitched man.
"He's not 'the cannibal', he's Zetsu ,and I'm not trying to turn him into a vegetarian. I'd settle for omnivore," she laughed as the ex grass-nin leaned over to sniff the pie, drooling a little. "And by the looks of it, I'm succeeding. Let it sit for a while, Zetsu-kun, or it'll burn your mouth."
She giggled, cutting him a piece, and placing it in a bowl.
"How long until We can eat it?" he asked her, eying the slice of pie greedily. "You're eating it too, right?"
"Of course. I said I would," she agreed, reaching out to wipe some saliva off Zetsu's chin, before dishing out a slice of her own.
At the contact, Zetsu shifted his attention from his upcoming meal to the woman in front of him, who was busying herself getting out utensils. A hungry look covered his features, sending chills down the spines of the two men watching.
"Did you just f***ing see that?" Hidan rasped in a whisper.
Rather than answering, Kakuzu strode up to Sakura, making sure to stay out of Zetsu's way by standing on her other side, and tapped her on the shoulder.
"Hey, Ragdoll," she greeted him warmly. "Sorry I can't really give you any of this, but I promise I'll cook you something later, yeah?" she offered with a smile.
"Sakura, could I have a word with you? Alone?" he asked her seriously.
"She's busy," growled Zetsu, getting a little moody. "Talk to her later."
'...Are we going to get stuck in the middle of a freakin' death match?' Inner Sakura whined.
'Not if I can help it,' Sakura replied, turning on the puppy dog eyes.
"Kakuzu," she took his hand in one of hers, and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Can this please wait? We can go talk later."
Kakuzu felt himself giving in, and loathed himself for it.
"Fine," he answered moodily, claiming back his hand. "I'm going to make my lunch too, and when you're finished we are going to go have a private chat."
"Thanks, Ragdoll," she gave him an eye-creasing smile, and pinched his cheek, just above his stitches, ignoring his irritated expression.
Putting the pie dish down in the middle of the table, Sakura sat down with her bowl to tuck in. Taking this as a sign his food had cooled down sufficiently, Zetsu devoured his meal with the table manners from hell.
Eating her first bite, Sakura decided it was one of her better creations, crediting it to the cinnamon.
After finishing his bowl, Zetsu grabbed the rest of the pie, and started to eat it straight out of the pan.
When he'd finished feasting on that, he turned back to Sakura with a crazed grin. Giggling, she pushed the bowl with the other uneaten half of her slice in his direction.
She'd barely blinked, and it was gone.
"Still hate fruit?" she asked him with a giggle.
"Not that fruit!" he enthused. "I've never had cooked fruit before. I want more."
"Let it settle," she smiled, standing up to take his dirty dishes, but not before fondly ruffling his hair.
'He's like a little kid,' she thought, amused, as she moved over to the sink.
'He's not a little kid,' Inner Sakura felt the need to voice.
'Yeah, but he can still act like one,' she insisted. 'It's cute.'
She turned her attention to her left, where Hidan was hassling Kakuzu about cooking him some lunch too.
"Come on! It's not too hard to add another egg," he pleaded pathetically.
"Then it won't be hard for you to do it yourself," the bounty hunter hissed back, sour mood only getting fouler.
"Play nice," she smiled in amusement, nudging him with her hip, her hands busy cleaning.
Kakuzu snorted, but spared her a smirk, letting her know he was annoyed with Hidan, not her.
"Who would I talk to about getting more food in this place?" she asked the three. "Pein said I could leave the building, if I have an escourt."
"I'll take you," Kakuzu stated, hoping for some alone time.
"We will accompany you," Zetsu added. "You will be getting our fruit, yes?"
Kakuzu shot him a dirty look, but Sakura seemed not to notice, already going through what she wanted to get.
'And hopefully, we'll be able to figure out our general location,' Inner Sakura put in with a smirk.
--
Thanks again for the reviews
I appreciate feedback/pairing votes/and encouragement :D
--offers apple pie