Outside Wants In
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Justify All The Hurt Inside
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I didn't really blame the kit for her animosity towards me. She was young and did not truly understand what it meant to be bonded to a mate. She wasn't accustomed to our ways nor was she ready to hear the reason behind my behavior. How could I explain to this girl, this girl who was so foreign to me, who looked so different from me, her birthright?
Although our bond was unbidden on both ends, Na'Barrae was my life mate would remain that way forever. When my body and spirit passed over to the world of the dead, I would meet the human woman who had captured my heart. I closed my eyes then, memories reeling in my head. Why did our child have to resemble her so?
Her eyes while not amber like my own held their own sepia hue. In those orbs all the pain and despair had been concentrated into a hateful pulp directed at me. There was nothing I could do to bring back Na'Barrae, and if I could I would certainly. However, the fact remained that my daughter had no idea of demon mating rituals and was misconstruing our demonic behaviors.
"You will do nothing but sit down immediately. You do your mother a disservice by behaving this way."
My voice held a cold, commanding tone, and I could smell her fear reverberating in the air. She puffed out her cheeks and promptly sat once more. Turning to my elderly comrade, I fixed her a cool glare.
"While I am sure that you believe you are saying these things in my daughter's best interests, you would do well to silence yourself. You are but a human and therefore you cannot be considered a knowledgeable source."
Our group calmed down once more, with help from Yukina and Keiko the two peace makers of our little cluster. Already, I could feel some of the tension in the air lift. I sat on my haunches to look the kit and the eye, affixing a gentle smile on my face. I couldn't have her afraid of me, but she needed to recognize my authority, preferably now rather than later.
"Maya, Genkai was correct mostly when she told you about how your mother and I met. I came to a village to pillage but my heart was captured by a dark, mysterious woman instead. One thing however must be made clear. I have murdered, robbed, and harmed many, many, people…but I have never raped a woman."
Maya scoffed then, edging away from me. Kuwabara looked as if he wanted to comfort her, but my glare stopped him quickly enough. This girl would be made strong, and she would learn to stand on her on feet. I couldn't afford to coddle her, not even in her grief. She would not be a failure, and I would be damned if I let Na'Barrae's child die because of her stubbornness.
"Your mother and I were not in love at first. Try to see things from my point of view. I went to the human world for treasure and end up with a life mate. She was more than my match, but she was not at all what I imagined for myself. I do not believe that you are yet mature enough to hear the details of our history."
Yusuke snorted, completely ignoring the severity of our conversation. Maya sniffled then, and when I saw her face my heart nearly shattered in two as I saw tears run down her face. Cupping her chin, I turned her to face me. I honestly wished this child deserved better than me. How had she survived life without parents, in a village that hated demons? She was an anomaly in both the worlds. But she was my daughter, and we were newly reunited. I loved her already. This kit, the seed of my life mate's garden was beautiful.
"You deserve a better man to for a father, but you are my daughter and I love you. I can't make up for my absence, but can we start over?"
She pushed me away then, her tailing swishing in the wind. Her shoulders were hunched and her head bowed. Never had I witness such a sorry and pathetic state. What could I do? I've never been a father before and I didn't really know how to comfort this girl who was suddenly under my protection.
"You were never there! You don't know what it is like running through your village with children throwing rocks at you, or watching as mothers pulled their children aside and told them to stay away from that 'evil brat.' You could never fathom the pain of being a mixed demon bastard. My mother was revered in her village, but I was hated for something I have no control over."
I moved to her then, and she held her palm up to stop me even with her back turned. I could see the nervousness; the anger, the hatred, and fear become a tangible, substance as it manifested itself into her burning aura. Something inside told me that what she was about to say would do something irreversible to me.
"Most of all, you have no idea waking up one morning wishing that you were never born. Do you honestly want to know why it is I hate you so much for what you did to my mother? It's… it's because I too know the pain of being taken against my will. I too know what it is like to have something so utterly overwhelming grasp hold of my psyche. I fight against the ache every day and hope to God that I escape from this world the only way I know how…"
My breath caught in my throat then. No one, nothing could have done that to my daughter! I refused to believe it, and if what she was implying was true—I would rain hellfire down on the one with the audacity to do this to my kit. Nothing, not even death would stop me in that regard. I was getting angrier by the minute, and my mind was no longer reeling. Now, in place of that uncontrollable sadness new emotions surfaced. Anger. Sadness. How could this bastard steal my child's innocence? The man who made my kit jaded, who turned such a beautiful child, an amazing girl into such a person would die.
My tail lashed out behind me angrily and I marched up to the girl roughly turning her to face me. My body became more feral as each moment passed and I knew that she frightened by my actions. Before I could gather the name of the dead man who tainted my daughter's purity Yusuke and Kuwabara had to hold me back. Hiei said nothing, but his conveyed a message. We would kill the man that had the audacity.
"Calm down, Kurama!" Kuwabara intoned pulling me away from the shivering girl.
"You're scaring your kid. Hell, you're scaring me!"
Yusuke pleaded glancing at Maya worriedly. She bit her lip shyly, and her milk teeth gnashed at my behavior. I suppose I did need to calm down. After all, I couldn't scare the kit, especially when I needed the name of the man that had dared to touch my child. Even though Yusuke was the new Dark Tournament winner, I had no trouble throwing them off of my body. They crashed into one another.
"You will tell me his name."
It wouldn't be until we returned to Japan, would I be told that at this point I was no longer speaking in Japanese. Instinctively, my voice questioned Maya in the demon tongue. She stared at me strangely at that point, as if she didn't understand what I asked. The only that did comprehend were Yukina and Hiei.
"You will tell me his name."
I repeated again. Her next words literally floored me. I would awaken from my faint hours later, on board the cruise ship carrying us home. I could see Shizuru exhaling slowly, Yukina had already unloaded a bucket's worth of tears and Genkai's face seemed to be permanently etched into a frown. Kuwabara and Yusuke appeared to be almost as mad as me, while Hiei's hands were hovering over his sword, ready to unsheathe it at my word.
"His name is Ani Toguro."
She said softly, as if the name burned on her tongue. She had every right to feel that way. His name rang in my ears, pounding away. Ani Toguro—the skinny bastard that nearly killed Kuwabara had dared to touch Maya. The bony man with nothing but a stretchy body that could be molded into a weapon had the nerve to put his disgusting hands on her!
"THAT ASSHOLE TOUCHED MY KIT!"
I roared, my rage burning its way through my body. My spirit multiplied by leaps and bounds, and I was ready to kill. I flashed over to her so quickly, I was positive that no one could detect me. I sniffed her quickly, sighing with relief when I couldn't smell any trace of a child on her. Before I could search for the man and proceed to feed his testicles to him, Genkai subdued me. Her tactic was similar to Gama's makeup of chains, except Genkai used seals instead of make up concocted of her own blood. I cursed the woman and vowed to kill her as soon as I awoke. For now, the void overwhelmed me.
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Aya! It's been awhile huh? I have been absent because I lost EVERYTHING on my computer Every disk, every saved file on my computer that contained so many of my stories was lost and destroyed. I had to start all of my new chapters over from scratch, and that meant a lot of tweaking, remembering, and organizing all over again. I was so pissed off because of that. Anyway thanks for reading the story. Thank you all for reviewing: smurf87, SpiralingVortex, KristyKamae7, V-LOVE, kitsune jin.