Author's Notes!

and here we are with chapter three!

the title of the story starts to come into play in this chapter

and it's sort of angsty and sweet.

c:

thanks, B-dogg

Baku: Wise man say 'A good woman does seventy chores around the house. Cleaning, and sixty-nine.'

Disclaimer!

i don't own Furuba, or the poem/movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

mhmhm.

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Akito was in a coma for days.

It was hard for Hatori. If Akito was awake, they could talk. So Hatori could tell Akito that he didn't feel the same and avoid the situation entirely. But now, Hatori was left to think about it, left in the same room as the dying boy. The beautiful, dying boy. It made Hatori's heart hurt.

For a week and a half, Hatori could do nothing but endure these overwhelming emotions he had.

On one side, it explained everything! It made sense to him. He'd thought that Akito just wanted him to be miserable because he could. This showed that Akito cared. That Akito had a heart. It made him see a new side of the younger male, a beautiful side Hatori had never seen before. It made him want to stay, to hold Akito in his arms. To kiss him...? Was this attraction? Pity?

...love? No, preposterous.

There was another side, however. An angry side. Just because Akito was unhappy didn't mean that everyone else should be punished! If Akito was kind, everything could have been different. If he could have understood beyond his own greed that Hatori felt the way for Kana what Akito felt for Hatori.

...but then again...how hard was it for him to let go of Kana? They were in the same scenario. Had Akito let Hatori and Kana wed, he would have had to live with the misery and pain of knowing Hatori was happy and in love with someone else.

It was what Hatori had to deal with because of Kana. Because if Akito couldn't have Hatori, no one could.

It was very warm, as it was the middle of summer, and because of Akito's condition, his room was kept even warmer.

The entire thing was a blur to Hatori now. He rushed after Hatsuharu, becoming a doctor zombie. He did everything necessary when it was all the last thing on his mind. When Akito wouldn't wake up he was still in zombie-mode as he continued his work like he cared of nothing, while on the inside, the two opposing sides of his mind were waging a war. He didn't know, didn't know, didn't know.

Hatori didn't know what to do.

Hatori had anticipated and longed for Akito to awaken since the entire ordeal had happened and now, a week and four days later, he thought he would go mad. It was hot-he had stripped down to his boxers and lap coat. He was hot and bothered (literally, not sexually, much to his dismay.)

He hadn't been getting much sleep, for he rarely could when he tried. He was too worried. What if Akito died? He knew it would leave a deep hurt within him if that happened. Shigure and Ayame had come by and tried to get him to take a rest. Get some sleep. He never did, though. He had to be here with Akito.

It was around eleven p.m. Hatori was sitting on the floor beside of Akito's bed where to boy was still in his sleep. Hatori was reading, not that he could focus on the words. He read every single word on the page but none of it sank in. His mind was only on Akito.

It was good that he didn't, however, because at the slightest rustle of movement, Hatori dropped his book and turned, seeing the younger male start to sit up, looking down at the blankets, keeping himself curled up beneath them.

"You've been unconscious for a week and a half," Hatori said softly, "But since you've woken up, that shows good improve-"

"Leave, Hatori. Now."

"...what?"

"Go. I can't...don't..." He pointed towards the door, "Go."

"No."

Akito looked up in shock. Hatori told him no?

"I won't go. I have to take care of you and beyond that, I want to talk to you. I want to stay. Running away and isolating yourself won't..."

"Why? Don't you hate me, Ha'ri-san? You have every reason to. Hurry up and let me die."

Hatori ignored him.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fuck off."

"You need to eat something. You're obviously lively."

"No."

"You act as if you'll die if you show weakness to me. Don't think you're the only one hurting right now, Akito."

Akito wouldn't say a word, only hugging his knees to his chest. He didn't want to deal with this right now. He didn't think he could deal with it right now.

"It hurts, Hatori. My heart. Because you're here right now."

Hatori sighed as he sat down on the edge of the bed, facing away from him, biting his bottom lip in thought. He knew what that pain felt like. He felt it because of Kana and now he was starting to feel it because of Akito. It wasn't an easy thing to suffer through.

"I understand. I know."

"You suffer because I suffer, but you shouldn't. It's my fault."

"Akito-san, listen, please..."

Akito said nothing, looking up with sad eyes that broke Hatori's heart.

"I understand how you feel. I understand why you wouldn't let me marry Kana."

"No you don't."

"I-"

"Silence. Leave. I'll listen to nothing you have to stay. Leave. Leave Sohma House and never come back. I can't bear your presence."

...leave? Was Akito insane? No, Hatori realized, he was upset and with Akito there was a very fine line that seperated the two. He needed to calm him down.

"Akito, I want to stay here with you."

"No, you'll be better off if you leave..."

"Why won't you listen?"

"You'll be happier if you leave and forget all about me...make me...forget about you."

Hatori froze.

What?

"You..." Hatori said softly, softer than a whisper, "Want to forget about me..." He watched Akito look up, his eyes full of hurt. Pain, confusion, fear. He watched him nod.

"It hurts too much because I hurt you. I ruined you. It would have been better if we had never met."

He said it. He said Kana's words. Those same. Exact. Words.

So that was it, was it? Everyine who fell in love with him had to have their memories erased? That is curse extended so far as to where the people who loved him became so miserable that they couldn't even bear Hatori's mere presence? This was what true pain felt like. Knowing that you made everyone who you loved and loved you want to die. Made them want to forget.

"I refuse."

"You cannot refuse, Hatori. I command you to."

"I won't do it, Akito."

Akito was furious.

"I command you to! You must do what I tell you to do! I want to forget you because you will never love me in return! So much as seeing your face makes me want to die!"

"I won't do it! Not again!"

"Hatori!"

Hatori turned and grabbed one of Akito's wrists, jerking the boy close. Akito trembled, staring away, but he didn't fight back. Hatori had a vicious grip on his wrist, one he would not try to break.

"I would rather die than erase the memories of another person who loves me. A person I care about. I will stay here forever as your slave or do anything you wish me to, but I will not erase your memories, and I will not leave. Do you understand?"

Akito didn't look up, didn't acknowledge him. He was almost afraid, so unsure of what to do. He couldn't fight this one. Hatori had him.

"I-I need...to take a bath..."

Hatori dropped his wrist, letting the boy stand and get off of the bed, walking into the bathroom. Hatori waited for him, for Hatori had just realized something. He had found the breaking realization between the two conflicting parts of his mind, found the one underlying thing he needed to know.

Hatori was falling in love with Akito.

-chapterthree++fin-