Dear, Jack

Well…I look forward to your next bad dream…

I don't know, Jack. Judging by your own…well,…when we talked on the phone, Jack, you did not sound depressed to me. Okay, I just asked Claire and she says that depressed people are not always going to sound the same way. Some might sound happy and cheerful, but are really just masking it. Well, ask yourself did you really feel cheerful?

Boy, am I glad you aren't gay. I am so glad you like me to by the way. I know it sounds childish and really immature, but when you told me that I inflated like a balloon. I really…I'm just really glad you do.

Jack...I talked to Sawyer to by the way. I know we haven't really talked about that since I called you, but I talked to him. He said that he really wants me to come back to him. I don't know, I just…I couldn't do it. I don't love him. I mean, I felt that I should go back to him, my head was screaming at me to go back to him, you know? Like, in my head, it was just saying…"Go back, you love him, he'll give you money, a job, you can survive with him, he can take care of you." But my heart was just crying for me not to, screaming…maybe he can take care of you financially but he can't love you, and he can't kiss you the way others can, can't love you the way others can. So, I listened to my heart. He was pretty upset, you know, the usual kind of guy upsetness. Screaming, swearing. I just sat through it. He was telling me I'd be sorry, and that I will never find another guy that will love me, that I'll come crawling back. Of course, several naughty words were interspersed in there. Men, right?

Desperately Hoping Her Pen Pal/Crush Isn't Depressed Anymore,

Kate Austen

P.S. Oh my gosh, I am so totally embarrassed I wrote crush. Ignore that, okay?

Kate sat a few weeks later in Claries office. The room was a light baby blue; there was a big blue sofa, a few shades darker than the walls. Claries chair matched the sofa. There was a light wood table in between the chair and the sofa. A box of tissues and a stress ball were set upon it. On the sofa were several stuffed animals Claire used with her children patients, and even with her adults. The walls had relaxing painting of the ocean, the sky, children playing, and animals sleeping. It was the most calming office Kate had ever been in. Kate wished she could spend the day in their instead in her desk outside Claire's office in the reception area. She had a big oak desk with a leathery chair she slipped out of sometimes. All day she booked appointments, and talked to clients who sat nervously on the brown, scratchy wool.

It was the end of the day and they were drinking ice caps from the Starbucks down the street, lounging in the chairs, and just plain relaxing. "Okay, choose," Claire challenged. "Eating frog legs for the rest of your life…or…eating insects?" She asked. They were playing a game of choose. They offered two really bad or two really good things and the other person had to choose between them and then explain their choice. Kate giggled.

"Frog legs, because they are actual food in some places...I could go to France and get them made gourmet!" She grinned and Claire rolled her blue eyes good humouredly. Okay, choose, jumping off a building, or jumping of a plane?"

"Plane, because then I could feel the world around me before I die, rather than hearing the city and breathing in the smog…choose, kissing your dad or a pile of dog poo?"

Kate squeaked and buried her head in a teddy bear.. "EW!" Kate laughed. "I choose…Jack!" She giggled, grinning goofily.

Claire laughed. "You can't choose Jack! It's either daddy dearest or poopy!"

Kate shook her head. "No, pick a different question, I refuse to choose. Why choose something bad when I can have something magnificent?" She sighed lovingly, but mellow dramatically, getting Claire to laugh at her antics. "

"Kate…" Claire laughed and shook her head. "You have to choose between your dad, with that sexy, bushy moustache, or that steamy, stinky pile of sex!"

Kate laughed, tears rolled down her cheeks. "That's sick! No way!"

"Come on…Sam isn't that bad looking! It wouldn't be that bad!" Claire laughed. Kate giggled.

"That's gross! Pick a different question!" Kate demanded, sobering up slightly

"Okay…" Claire rolled her eyes and thought for a moment. "Okay…a healthy relationship with a guy through letters…or…a possibly unhealthy relationship with him in person?" She asked. Kate sat up from the blue sofa she was laying on.

"What?" She asked quietly.

"Why haven't you met him yet, Kate?" Claire asked. "Are you scared?" Kate looked away. "Why are you scared? This is more than a crush. I can see it in your eyes."

There was a knock at the door. A woman came in, handing a file to Claire. In the hall outside a TV was playing. Kate caught one line, but it sent shivers down her spine, and as she progressed it, tears welled in her eyes, and she let out a small whimper of dismay.

"A fatal fire has taken place at St. Sebastian Hospital, in L.A. The total death yet is still undetermined."