7.

After a year and a half and many an unspeakable event later, Lord Jabu Jabu was finally about to die, and nobody had even noticed he was ill, yet! All that time of distracting Princess Ruto constantly was almost worth it. Dark Link could almost cry with excitement.

He actually did cry, but not with excitement. Memories. So many repressed memories. First, his little trip inside the massive whale – and, what was even worse, the journey out of it – then the countless hours he had to spend humouring the princess as she simultaneously read and planned for the wedding. Of course, the reading had slowed her down considerably, which was why the date for the wedding had been set nearly a full two years after he had first proposed. Only Dark Link, Ganondorf and some keese knew they would never reach that date.

Aside from all that, the plan, the cursed plan, was at last going to be fulfilled, and he could be left in peace once more! At least until Link appeared back on the scene... he tried not to dwell on that.

"Darling, you just have to see this wedding dress!" the squealing voice of the hated Princess of the fishes invaded through his thoughts.

"I thought I wasn't supposed to see your wedding dress, darling," Dark Link replied, his voice filled with scorn. Fortunately, Ruto was so ridiculously deluded that she couldn't even spot the contempt. Din knew every other Zora in the domain had noticed it. Luckily, they all knew the Princess would never listen to them, and they were quite terrified of the Princess, too. Cowards.

"It's not my wedding dress, silly. I was thinking it would look great on our daughter!" she explained. Dark Link sighed, realising he would have to go look at it or...

"Wait! What did you say?" Dark Link was suddenly terrified as the words slowly sank in. Cowards indeed.

Ruto frowned, confused. "I said it would look great on our daughter... Is there something wrong?"

'Daughter! We don't have a daughter! We're not even married and you're planning the wedding of a daughter you haven't got! You're completely, utterly out of your mind!' was what Dark Link wanted to yell. Unfortunately, if he lost his cool now, the plan would be ruined. "Nothing. I just thought it was a bit early for that sort of thing..."

"Nonsense, it's never too early," she replied, rolling her eyes as if he was insane.

It was at this moment that a male, adult Zora ran up to the Princess, worry obvious on his face. "Princess Ruto! Lord Jabu Jabu is sick! We fear he may die!"

"No!" Ruto yelled out, suddenly pouncing on Dark Link. Had she worked out that he was involved? Was the plan ruined? Had all his hard work been for nothing? As she landed on him and sobbed into his shadowy clothes, he realised she was too stupid to work it out. How desperately he wanted to throw her into the water.

A cruel smile twisted its way across Dark Link's face. "I have an idea," he whispered reassuringly to her.

"What? Tell me! Why aren't you telling me? Don't you love me?" she cried, not stopping to allow him to answer. Normally, Dark Link would have been tempted to reach for his sword, but not now. He had a plan so clever and well thought out that it couldn't fail!

"If every single Zora gets in the water, maybe that will heal him."

Dark Link almost head-butted the wall.

"That's a brilliant idea, darling," his fiancé announced, clearly oblivious. "You," she pointed to the Zora that had informed them of the beast's condition. "Go round up every Zora and tell them to completely submerge themselves in the nearest body of water!"

"Yes, Your Highness," he wearily obeyed.

Dark Link nearly fainted because it was working so well, but he still managed to keep his wits about him. "I'll go douse the King in water," the shadow decided. Ruto nodded and ran off to find somewhere she could get in the water. This was it.

After gathering several buckets of water, Dark Link tipped five buckets over the King (because that was how much needed to fully cover him) and waited impatiently. The King didn't seem to notice. Either that or he enjoyed it.

One day, and sixty buckets of water later, Zora's Domain froze, Zoras, King and Princess included.

"I'm finally rid of her!" he yelled, tears forming in his eyes. Even in his wildest dreams he had never imagined being this happy. "I'm finally rid of her."

A/N Or is he? -insert evil laughter- Anyway, sorry for the long wait after the last update. Lets all blame college, why not? Expect about two more chapters before I put this story to sleep for good. Remember to review, my loyal (or possibly disloyal) readers, for I am Princess Ruto! Uh...

Crazymark.