"I thought I sensed shinigami reiatsu in the neighborhood," a pair of sun-blinded be-speckled eyes squinted at him diminishing the effect that the crossed arms and light sneer attempted to give. It hadn't taken Yumichika long to flirt his way into getting a quick pass to the material world; men where so easy to manipulate when you had a pretty face. Anyway, it wasn't really against the rules, he was a seated officer and it wasn't like he had asked to go to Canada or anything. He'd be back in a jiffy. Order a couple of outfits, have a nice lunch, a stroll in the park, pick up the outfits, and he'd be out of Karakura Town and back into Soul Society before Ikkaku even started his day!
"Oh really? This is Soul Society territory so I suppose you're used to our reiatsu," Yumichika played along.
"Not in this neighborhood," the snotty man snapped.
"Oh right, it's a Quincy base, I forgot,"
"You didn't forget. You're just being a pain,"
"Sorry, I forgot that people get cranky with old age,"
"Psh. And I suppose you came here for to ask for a fashionable favor."
"I'll pay if that's what you want."
"Nonsense. Allies don't make each other pay for frivolities. Come with me, shinigami," he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose just like old times except now, Yumichika noticed, his glasses were considerably thicker than before.
He followed the Quincy into a comfortable looking house in the very middle of the quiet street. "We'll have to wait in the drawing room for a few minutes; I'm waiting for a package." Ishida Uryuu said as they entered the house. Yumichika nodded as he took in the sight of the homely home.
Sixteen picture frames lined the walls of the drawing room; one with a picture of the entire family, one of Uryuu and his wife's wedding, and one for each of their fourteen children. "Fourteen? But the last I heard you only had thirteen and booby-I mean-Orihime-chan had been fixed,"
"Well we thought we ought to try for one more and so she used her powers on herself but Randolph is our final."
"Randolph?" Yumichika frowned and the very un-pretty name.
"It was 'Hime's turn to choose the name."
"I see. But you do realize, Uryuu-kun, with the discovery of the Quincy clan in Norway and all that it's not your job alone to replenish the world of Quincy's,"
Uryuu simply smirked.
"Oh! Is that, is that Ayasegawa-san!?" a very familiar voice rang out from the kitchen. Yumichika readied himself for the appearance of the world's most silly girl, "Ohhhh! It is!" She poke her head into the drawing room, "How are you doing?"
"I," he faltered, "I-I'm fine, Orihime-chan." His stomach flopped. If Uryuu's appearance had been a little disheartening, Orihime's was just tragic! Of course, she had powers but in general she was merely a human girl, not a Quincy blessed (was it a blessing?) with an extra long life like her husband, or someone with extreme amounts of reiatsu like Kurosaki. She looked…aged. She was 67 now, wasn't she? He couldn't believe that at one point he had been jealous of her. She wasn't ugly now but she, well, her sagging boobs were nothing to look at anymore. He was slightly embarrassed to admit that he was relieved.
She giggled and pushed back her long graying hair, "I'm glad you're here. I'll fix you something to eat,"
"That's okay," he said quickly recalling the last time he had had something she cooked. Beside him he could feel Uryuu chuckle.
"It's no problem at all!" She said as she turned to go back into the kitchen. Yumichika would have sworn that he heard her body creak as she moved, but it might have been a loose floorboard.
"So, what brings you here?" Uryuu asked suddenly. He was looking out the window with interest.
"Oh. I'm in need of a dress made of spirit particles in 16th century European renaissance style."
"Renaissance style, why?" the Quincy's brow furrowed but he continued gazing outside
"The Seireitei is having its annual dance and someone thought it would be good to go with a material world theme this year after all last years Vizard theme didn't go off too well with Yama-sama. Anyway it is boy ask girl, or prince ask princess as was announced on the flyers, and at the last minute Yachiru informed me that she had neither a prince nor a dress for the dance which is why I'm here."
"So when is this dance?"
"Tomorrow night,"
"You expect me to get a dress done that quickly?"
"You can't?"
"I didn't say that," he paused, "do you have any idea what you want it to look like?"
"No, I was hoping you could come up with something original. You've met Yachiru so I hoped you could create something that fits her."
"Here you go," Orihime was back and carrying a tray with a sandwich with yellow goo inside and a bowl of liquid with giant chunks of meat floating in it. "Now, you eat it all up and you might get some pudding afterwards." Yumichika accepted the so-called food gracefully. "Did you want anything, Uryuu?"
"No thank you, dear. Why don't you go see how the vegetables in the garden are doing?" Uryuu said politely. She nodded and left. Yumichika picked up the sandwich and felt the color drain from his face as its yellow goo dribbled onto the plate.
Uryuu laughed, "You don't have to eat it. Here," he opened one of the drawers in the dresser near them, "I built this many years ago. It's a food grinder, and trash compactor. I love my wife and all but she….you know and this way she doesn't get her feelings hurt and I still get laid…..Aha! There it is,"
Yumichika turned to see what was where and saw the Quincy pointing outside his window. He saw the postman pulling a box and some letters out of his carrier and Orihime walking towards him. In a flash Uryuu had disappeared then the box from the postman's hands. He could see the faces of the two outside looking a bit dazed and confused.
"Damn, I nearly let her get to it," Uryuu, who was sitting beside him once again, sighed.
"'What was that about?" He asked, deciding that for some reason his companion had used the Quincy version of Shunpo.
"I was awaiting a package from Kurosaki." He lifted the box he had stolen from the postman, "He was supposed to send me a very rare and expensive spider silk- only found in Australia- that I need for the American Academy Award show presenter's red carpet outfit," he tossed aside a letter that was taped to the box, "You see, 'Hime gets very excited when anything having to do with Ichigo is presented to her and I was afraid if she read the sender's name and address she'd flip out and damage the silk." He delicately removed the tape holding the package together and opened it, "I'm already wary as to what condition it'll be in after being in that orange haired idiot's hands."
Before Yumichika could say anything he was distracted by a very angry looking old woman standing in the doorway, "What was that for? I was getting…."
"Kurosaki sent you a letter," he tossed her the previously discarded envelope.
"From…Ichigo!" She batted her eyes and clutched the letter to her heart. Her hands began to shake. Yumichika was surprised to see her reacting like this in front of her husband. He knew if he saw Ikkaku looking at someone else's letters that way he'd be devastated. Orihime practically danced out of the room whispering, "Kurosaki-kun, Kurosaki-kun"
"I know what you're thinking but it doesn't bother me."
Yumichika turned to the Quincy who was carefully resealing the package. "How can that not bother you?"
"It doesn't. I knew when I courted her that I'd always be second in her eyes. She loves Kurosaki, and she always will. I wouldn't be surprised if they had or have an affair at one point, but really I don't mind because I know in the end she's mine. I won. She won't leave me. We'll grow old-older-together and die as husband and wife. Kurosaki, on the other hand, will die alone. Sure he's made a lot of friends in various dimensions and all around the world but he's alone. He doesn't have a special someone so I don't mind if she gets giddy when he writes to her 'cause it really doesn't change the fact that I've come out better than him. So," he changed the subject, "now that I've got my package let's go into the studio and we'll see what I can do for your fukutaicho."
Yumichika nodded still uneasy about the way Orihime had acted and then he remembered, "I should have asked earlier but do you think you could manage a renaissance style man's outfit- for Ikkaku,"
"Ah so the true demands finally come out," Uryuu said as he led Yumi down a long hall, "You know, I shouldn't be helping you. The Q.U-Quincy Union- doesn't want me to get involved in shinigami affairs." He sighed but then smirked, "but when have I ever listened to anyone's opinions on getting involved in shinigami affairs?" he opened a sliding door, at the end of the hall, revealing a gigantic room lined with gleaming gold statues, and framed magazine covers.
"All these trophies," Yumi gasped, impressed. The last time he had visited the Quincy had only a few local medals to his name. He knew that Uryuu had become more popular after seeing him in one of Matsumoto's material world fashion magazines but he didn't realize he was this popular.
"Hm, yes, after I completely that rebel line for the Vodka Chicken my sales skyrocketed, and I was finally recognized for my talents."
"Vodka Chicken?" Yumi asked, completely confused.
"It's a punk rock band from Slovakia. Anyway, with the new money I've been able to upgrade my in-home studio" The man said calmly, "New fabrics, top of the line machines, it's all brilliant and almost comparable to my main studio in Tokyo,"
"Oh. I'm sorry. If I had known you were so in-demand these days,"
"Don't worry about it,"
"Then, would it be a problem to request a new lavender Hakama?"
"That my friend is easy to obtain. Now how about I show you this,"
"Holy…."
"Magnificent, isn't it?" Uryuu gestured toward a line of the most flowing yet form fitting outfits possible made from a fine white fabric trimmed with baby blue satin.
"Yes!"
"It's for the Quincy 4th relief team. I've been hired to do every team's outfits. And this," he opened a closet to reveal a gorgeous leopard trimmed coat, "is for Prince William of England's forth wife." Suddenly the Quincy's face fell, "Wait…this-this spiritual pressure."
"Arrancar!" Yumichika gasped noticing the new reiatsu immediately, "No, I'll handle it," he said as he saw Uryuu reacting, "you work on Yachiru-chan's dress."
"Right. I'm on it," Uryuu nodded.
A/n: Ooooo Arrancar in Karakura town. Lol. Actually the Uryuu and Arrancar thing were supposed to be in the same chapter but Uryuu talks too much and shows off a lot so his part kept going and going and going. Oh well.