So, this is the chapter of all chapters, the big one, the one you have all been waiting for. This is the chapter where I explain all the good things I've done in my life, and yes, I have done nice things for people believe it or not.

First I want to talk about Orpheus. Now, he's actually my personal favorite mortal guy out there and I really enjoy telling this story. So, Orpheus was a really, and I mean really, good musician. Nobody, amongst the mortals could equal him for talent. One day he fell in love with this beautiful girl named Eurydice and they got married. However, after their wedding Eurydice was walking through this field when a snake bit her, and she died.

Orpheus was, understandably, heartbroken. He ran down to the underworld to try and convince me to give him his wife back. He played the most beautiful song I had ever heard, beseeching me to relinquish Eurydice back to him for a time. I couldn't resist and so I gave her back to him on cone condition…he could not look back at his beloved until they were both out of the underworld and in the upper. I did this to test and see how much he really loved and wanted her.

Anyways, they start walking up and he doesn't look back. The second he enters the upper world however he turns back to look while she's still in the underworld, and she floated down to me a few minutes later.

So, that's a sad story really, but it shows that I am capable of doing something nice., I gave him his wife back, who, for all intents and purposes, should have stayed with me till the end of time. I was nice, however, and let her go. It's not my fault he looked back at her is it? No.

The second story I would like to tell is the story of Heracles. Now, as I mentioned in the last chapter, Heracles came down to me to get my god Cerberus. I could have destroyed the little twerp right then and there, but I decided to be nice and give him my dog on one condition (notice how there always seems to be a condition); he was not to harm Cerberus with any weapon whatsoever. The guy actually did it and away he went, taking Theseus with him. True to my word, I did not go after him.

The third story I would like to mention is the story of Perseus. Now, Perseus was a strapping young lad who was off to go and like medusa the Gorgon, but needed a bit of help. This is where I come in. You see, I actually lent him my helmet of invisibility. I know, pretty generous of me huh? Anyways, is it hadn't been for me, the mortal would never have succeeded, and the world would never have been rid of the hideous monster. No need to thank me. It's all in a days work.

Finally, I would just like to point out that I myself never punished the dead who were wicked during life. I always left that up to my lovely assistants. I always felt rather sorry for the people who had to be eternally punished and couldn't bear to punish them myself. I tell you, how a sensitive guy like me ever got to be lord of the underworld I'll never know.

So, that my friends, is an account of just a few of the good deeds I've done in my life. You see, I'm not a bad guy really. Sneaky, conniving, and a little harsh maybe, but never cruel and vindictive.