Chapter 3
Zedd had intentionally walked well ahead of them on their return to camp. Richard tried to hide his disappointment that they were already headed back. Kahlan had seemed quite troubled when he had returned with their soup. She'd said barely a word all thru their meal. Richard suspected Zedd had said something to upset her and he meant to have a word with him about it, first thing in the morning. Right now, he just wanted to be near Kahlan. They would be camped near Marley Glenn for a few more days so there would still be time to enjoy some town fun with her before they were on their way again. They walked quietly down the wooded path. The glow from the moon was just enough to light their way. Richard knew, too, that she must be upset about Denee, having just recently learned of her death. He took her hand in his as they continued toward camp. He was glad she didn't pull away. They walked along, her warm hand tucked inside his own. "I'm sorry about Denee" he said softly.
Kahlan came to a halt. Those being so much like the words Zedd had uttered not long ago brought the pain she was feeling from unbearable to crushing. Yes, she hurt about Denee and the other Confessors. She not only lost her sister, they were all her dear friends. But the pain of what she knew she must now do was bearing down on her. She could no longer hold back the tears. Richard pulled her to him and let her cry. He didn't realize he was making it harder for her. Holding her close like this, feeling his warmth against her. She could barely stand with the weight of the pain. She clung tight to him, as if he were a lifeline. He took her face in his hands and wiped her tears with his thumbs. "I'm sorry Kahlan. I know how much you loved her". He looked into her eyes for a long moment. "You won't be alone Kahlan. I'm here with you and I won't leave you". An agonizing cry escaped her lips. She could no longer hold it in. She pulled away from him. "Don't you see? We can't be together! Ever! Richard, the only thing left is for me to leave". Her heart ached, her legs trembled. She grasped his shirt in her fists, her face close to his. "I'm the last of the Confessors. There will never be another... her gaze slid to the ground as she loosened her grip, she couldn't look him in the eye. "…unless I take a mate".
Richard felt the breath knocked out of him. His eyes blinking back the pain. It had never occurred to him that she might leave. They had just defeated Rahl, he hadn't had a chance to think about things yet. He knew Kahlan was the last, but he hadn't really thought about the continuation of the line of Confessors. Or of her leaving. He refused to think about that. He lifted her chin with his finger, looking intently into her eyes. "Kahlan, I'm not leaving you. After all we've been through…we'll find a way. We have to be together. I don't want to be with anyone else". He stiffened as his hand dropped to his side, anger seeping into him. "I won't even think of you being with another".
"I could never love another, Richard. But by order of the First Wizard, I must take a mate and bear a child". Richard staggered back from her words. His anger barely controlled. His words were seething: "By order of the First Wizard? Zedd is doing this to us?
It isn't 'Zedd', Richard. It's 'First Wizard Zorrander'. "He doesn't want to do this, but it is by his authority. The Wizards created the Confessors. I am duty bound".
Richard could barely speak past the lump in his throat. "This is not how I wanted this night to end". His mind raced with thoughts from all directions. "Kahlan" he took both of her hands in his. He held his breath a moment, knowing the reaction his words would produce. "Choose me for your mate". She was already shaking her head, trying to back away, but he held tight to her hands. He rushed his words hoping she would see his side of it "Neither of us wants to be with another. You can have a child Kahlan, my child. Our child". Kahlan was finally able to break free of his grip. "Richard, you know I can't do that. You've seen what these men become once I've confessed them! How could I possibly do that to you?" Tears pooled in her eyes, her words softened. "It would destroy you". In barely a whisper she added "And that would destroy me".
A forlorn smile pulled at his lips. He was remembering their embrace at the beach. He knew she loved him as intensely as he loved her. It was one thing to not be able to be together until he found a way to make it work. It was entirely different to imagine her choosing someone else. Whether her heart was in that choice or not. Once she chose a mate, she would never be his. Overwhelmed by that thought, he tenderly laid a hand to her cheek. She saw the sadness in his eyes. He leaned in close to her, his eyes searching her face. He saw her pain there as well. He brought his lips within a breath of hers. "This is how I wanted the night to end" he said softly as his lips gently met hers. His hand slipped into her hair as their kiss deepened.
He ended the kiss all too quickly, but knew it was for the best. His emotions were getting the better of him. Kahlan was too numb to move. She tried to catch her breath as she watched him walk silently back to their camp, alone.
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