The kettle started to whistle merrily, and Ranma grinned. "About time." He picked it up, then paused. "Yo, Akane. Okay to switch back?"
Yes please, his fiancee thought back to him.
"We're the only ones here, we can talk," Ranma pointed out.
I know, but it's fun, Akane thought back with a smile.
"Yeesh...ya really need to get a hobby." Ranma dumped the kettle over his head, resuming his male form.
But think about it, only we can hear each other like this. We can say whatever we want. Akane adjusted the belt on her clothes again after her form shifted.
"I already say whatever I went, whenever I want," Ranma responded.
"No you don't," Akane said with a knowing look.
"Well, ya got a point." Mentally, he added, I can't say what I really think of her, without her callin' me a pervert--I mean--
"See?" Akane chuckled.
"We're home!" Kasumi's voice announced from the entranceway.
"Good, they're here." Ranma wiped the remnants of the water out of his hair. "I'll be in the dojo while you get yer haircut."
"I hope you like it," Akane said with a smile. "But no peeking, I want it to be a surprise."
"Ain't we had enough surprises? Besides, I can see what you see, right?"
I can't see my own head, thought Akane. Out loud, she said, "Scoot! I need to talk to Sis."
"All right, all right," Ranma growled as he walked towards the dojo. "We, uh, can still 'talk' during the haircut, right?"
"If you're good. Get!"
Ranma smiled and disappeared from sight.
"Sis! I'm glad to see you." Akane ran up to her older sister. "I need to...well, tell you about something."
"Can it wait?" Kasumi was juggling three bags of groceries. "I need to get these put away."
"I'll take care of that," said Nodoka. "I'm sure Akane needs your assistance more than I." She took the bags from Kasumi - in addition to her own two bags, it made for a substantial load - and staggered towards the kitchen.
"I need a haircut..." Akane said in a rather embarassed fashion.
"Akane, it's good that you're interested in trying new styles, but couldn't it have waited for a few minutes?"
"You don't understand." She sighed. "I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. You see, something happened today, and...well, I'm afraid I've picked up a curse."
Kasumi looked at her blankly.
"A Jushenkyou curse," Akane clarified.
"I assume it's a male-type curse?" asked Kasumi. "I would think that if it were an animal-type curse, you wouldn't be concerned about hairstyle."
Akane only nodded. "So, before we go into specifics, I would really feel better about getting my hair... adjusted."
Kasumi sighed. "Well, I can understand that...your current haircut would look unflattering on any man...can you please switch to your male form, so I can see what sort of haircut we should consider?"
"You're taking this awfully calmly, Sis."
"Would you prefer I was screaming like crazy and running around? That certainly wouldn't help the situation or my sister," Kasumi pointed out with a smile.
Get ready, Ranma, Akane thought as she readied a cup of water, dumping it on her head.
Thanks for the warnin', Akane. This balance kata woulda crashed and burned if I'd changed in the middle of it.
Kasumi blinked, and took a step back as Akane shifted. "Oh, my..." She grinned. "At least you become a handsome fellow. You almost look like Tofu-sensei."
"Really? I'm actually not as built as I'd hoped," Akane admitted.
"You hoped?" both Kasumi and Ranma asked, in an almost jarring stereo.
"Let's just say ever since Ranma came into my life, I wondered what a male Akane would be like," Akane admitted, her face red hot.
"Well, Tofu-sensei might not be the most physically impressive man around, but he has a hidden strength that most people can't even approach." Kasumi pulled a chair from the corner. "Now, sit down. I think that, since you bear a passing resemblance to him, we can make your hair look a bit like his - we won't need to remove very much to manage that - and it will still look acceptable in your female form." She paused. "You didn't do this on purpose, did you?"
Okay, Ranma, you can come in now, Akane thought.
Finally! Ranma responded in turn. He was already back to male form, as Akane had changed back after her haircut was finished.
"How do I look?" Akane had a bright smile on her face, but Ranma could hear the undercurrent of worry. And as a result, for once in his life, he was able to say the right thing:
"Ya look gorgeous."
Akane smiled. Good, you're learning.
"Now, could you two please sit down? I would like to hear the entire story," Kasumi invited.
"Of course, sister," Akane responded, taking her seat, as did Ranma.
"Now. What did you two do that resulted in my baby sister getting a curse." Kasumi's face held a mild scowl. This, of course, would have been a full-blown Demon Head had it been Soun.
"Nothin', at least not anything I know about." Ranma's answer was complete and honest.
Let me handle this, Akane thought.
"It most likely wasn't Ranma's fault." Akane looked her sister right in the eye. "It was probably something I did, though we're still trying to figure that out."
At that moment, Nodoka walked into the living room, holding an empty sake bottle, a look of panic on her face. "What happened?"
"Oh, Akane got a Jushenkyou curse," said Kasumi. "We still don't know how or why."
"No, I mean this." Nodoka held up the bottle.
"Oh, were they drinking? That would explain a lot."
"This didn't hold sake!" Nodoka's hands were trembling.
"A potion?" Ranma completed, aloud.
"Yes!" Nodoka dropped the bottle on the table. "A very potent potion. Fifty millilitres are enough for two people. This bottle held ten doses - half a litre! And it's all gone!" She stared at the two in shock. "Do you have any idea what you've done?"
"Oh, we have a good idea," Akane answered. "But please, Auntie, tell us what the potion was intended to do."
"It is intended to allow two people to become closer, by allowing them to sense one another's emotions," said Nodoka. She sat down - nearly dropped - in front of them. "It also allows them to hear each other's thoughts, if they think hard enough on them. One dose lasts roughly a year, but the duration - and the intensity of the effect - increase with the square of the doses."
Ranma frowned. "You mean, if we took ten doses, it'll last ten years?"
"No!" Akane scowled at him. "You need to pay attention in math class. She's saying it'll last a hundred years!"
"100 years?" Ranma's eyes widened considerably. "That would explain how things like the curse transferred over as well..."
"Oh! So she received your curse because of the potion!" Kasumi nodded. "That would make sense."
"It does?"
"Yes," said Nodoka. "The effects of the potion are a hundred times stronger. You two will share dreams, will be able to use the other's senses...actually, the book I got this recipe from doesn't really detail what happens if a couple takes ten doses. Nobody was crazy enough to try it...until now."
"We didn't intend for this to happen. I was looking for a seasoning sauce."
"Well, you found a doozy," grumbled Ranma. "An' here your cookin' was gettin' better."
Akane scowled, and visualized a mallet crushing his skull.
Ranma frowned. I got the picture.
"Are you two... talking?" Nodoka asked, watching their faces.
"Sorry, Mom. Yeah, we were." Ranma sighed. "An' it's gonna take some gettin' used to."
"Well, are you two... closer?" Nodoka's voice had a hint of hope, as if there could be a glimmer in this whole screw-up.
"I've managed to avoid gettin' brained once or twice," admitted Ranma. "But I've also managed to tick her off a few extra times, 'cause I keep forgettin' she can hear what I think."
"He's getting better," said Akane. "And I--Wait. You made this potion?"
"A wife's foolish attempt to get closer to her husband," Nodoka admitted. "I realised, thankfully before trying it, that loving someone and wanting to know someone are two different things."
"Why didn't you try it, Auntie?"
Nodoka bit her lip. "I...decided that I'd already learned enough about my husband that I did not want to be forced to read his thoughts."
"Thank the Kami for that," muttered Ranma.
"I think we should keep this a secret," Akane stated.
"There are certain aspects of this that we cannot keep secret," Kasumi pointed out. "Such as your curse."
"Oh, yeah, that's gonna be a problem." Ranma frowned. "Maybe there's an antidote?"
"There might be, but I no longer have the book," said Nodoka. "It was destroyed when my house was wrecked."
"How did the potion survive, then?" asked Akane.
"It was in a wooden box, in the basement."
"Lucky us," grumbled Ranma.
"The story we will tell for now is that Akane got hit with some cursed water that dropped from a plane," Kasumi suggested.
Everyone present looked at her like she grew a second head.
"Do you think anyone would doubt the story enough to give it serious scrutiny?"
"Naw," said Ranma. "This is Nerima, after all. An' it don't matter what story we give Kuno. He'll just assume that Akane's under a new, vile spell of the Dark Sorceror Saotome."
"Or he'll refuse to believe that my boy side and girl side are the same, and will declare war on my boy side," giggled Akane.
"And then Kodachi will fall in love with your guy side."
Akane shuddered. "Let's not discuss that."
"There is one other effect of the potion," Nodoka said. "You two need to sleep next to each other for the first night."
"WHAT!?" Both of them jumped up, and continued to shout in stereo. "If you think I'm sleeping in the same bed as that pervert/tomboy, you're crazy."
"You two can die if you don't" Nodoka continued, her face serious.
No funny business, Akane thought clearly.
Hey, I wasn't the one thinking of bendin' me over the table and... Ranma shot back.
"Are you serious?" gasped Kasumi.
"As a heart attack," confirmed Nodoka. "Their dreams will be very disturbed, because they'll be affecting each others' dreams. If they aren't close enough to touch, they might find themselves lost - or even dead - in their dreams. And this can cause a heart attack, or stroke, or...well, unpleasant things. And since they took ten doses..." Oddly, she smiled. "They'll have to spend the next hundred days sleeping together!"
"An' why exactly are ya happy with this?" said Ranma angrily.
"I always wanted grandchildren." Nodoka's answer was sincere.
Ranma grabbed the glass of water from the table, and dumped it over his head. "Well we can both sleep as girls, and then..." He trailed off as the flaw in his plan became apparent.
"Dope," said Akane.
Nodoka's lips pursed primly. "I do want my first grandchild to be my son's child, not my daughter's."
"Like I'd ever--" Ranma stammered, then blinked. "Wait...First? You mean you expect me to..."
A sudden image of himself, pregnant, with Akane the happy father, crossed his mind. And he wasn't certain if he'd imagined it, or her.
"It may do a man some good to understand a woman's pride and pain." Nodoka stated.
She just wants lots of grandkids, thought Ranma. That's why she never did anythin' to end the various engagements...more brood mares.
Are you calling me a brood mare? thought Akane dangerously.
No! he answered quickly. Yer my...my... Even mentally, Ranma wasn't one for eloquence.
Fiancee? suggested Akane.
I'd say a bit more than that. But yeah. It's Mom that's thinkin' of ya as breedin' stock, same as she thinks of me. An' probably Ukyo, Shampoo an' maybe even Kodachi.
Well, they can't have you.
They never did.
"Son, it's not polite to do that in front of us," Nodoka pointed out, looking at the young couple staring at each other.
"It ain't polite to suggest that yer son get knocked up, either," snapped Ranma. "Or to discuss our sex life - or lack thereof - in front of us. That's seriously creepy."
"I understand, son." Nodoka hung her head down. "I hope you can forgive your mother."
Tell her you understand, and you're sorry for snapping at her.
Are ya nuts? Then she'll think she's got a free license to bug us.
It's the manly thing to do.
Ranma sighed. "Sorry for tearin' your head off, Mom. But that sorta discussion is somethin' I don't wanna have with ya."
Akane gave him a mental nudge.
"I--I kinda see where you're comin' from with it, but it's somethin' that Akane an' me need to discuss, on our own."
You see? You can be taught!
Nodoka brought her head back up. "Thank you, son." She took an exaggerated look at a clock on the wall. "It is getting late. Kasumi, wouldn't you say it's time for us to prepare for bed?"
"I suppose...but I want a good soak in the furo first." She glanced over at the older woman. "Would you care to join me?"
"Yes, I think I shall." Nodoka glanced back at Akane and Ranma. "Remember, you need to be close enough to touch. And I'd suggest bringing Ranma's futon into Akane's room. A single bed will be too small for both of you; one of you will end up knocked off the bed."
"Ranma's futon will be even smaller," complained Akane.
"Yes, but then you won't have as far to fall."
She just wants us even closer together, griped Ranma.
Is that such a bad thing?
Not terrible, no, but I'd like to make those kinds of decisions.
Excuse me, but I think that we need to make such decisions.
That's what I meant. We're bein' pressured into this by forces outside our control.
We'll have all night to talk about this. I'll even allow you to have a dream or two about me. Just behave for now.
Ranma was a long time in responding. Finally, he thought, I dunno if I want ya to see the sorts of dreams I have about ya.
Oh?
Yeah, because I don't wanna end up gettin malletted.
A sudden image of himself, caught halfway out of the bath, flashed through his mind. It was Akane's perspective, and he was certain it was from their first meeting, when she'd walked into the bath on him.
You don't want to see how this dream normally ends, she thought with a giggle. Then, fainter, Or rather, I don't want him to see it...
We're both perverts, aren't we?
Doctor Tofu told me once that we're just healthy. Hormones at work. She paused. Though, I'll admit that I'm not as pure and innocent as I've pretended...
He sent another thought winging back at her, of his female form walking in on her male form exiting the furo.
She giggled in response - out loud, at that. Dope. If I were in the furo, I'd be a girl, right? And you'd be a guy.
We'll continue this discussion in bed.
She shivered. I really don't know if this is such a good idea.
But Mom said--
You think she's maybe lying? After all, she wants grandchildren.
I wouldn't risk your safety because it might be a lie.
Good point. She sighed. All right. But you're wearing pants to bed, and if you touch anything without permission, I'll break your fingers off. At the shoulder.
What does it take to get permission?
She grinned. A ring on my finger. Nothing less. And I won't accept a proposal until after you clean up the mess with the fiancees.
First thing tomorrow, we start.
Akane sat bolt upright, gasping for air. Her heart still hammered in her chest.
Oh, God, I hope he doesn't remember that dream.
There was only silence on the Ranma band; he was still out cold. She reached down and shook his shoulder. "Yo. Rise and shine."
Ranma cracked one eye open. "Five more minutes..." He pulled his knees up to his breasts. Akane realized with a start that they were in their cursed forms.
"Didn't we go to sleep in our regular forms?"
"Hunh?" Ranma sat up, and frowned. "Yeah, we did. So when did we switch?"
"Maybe it's a side effect of sleeping. I'll be right back." Akane ran downstairs, and into the kitchen.
"Good morning, Akane." Kasumi was, of course, already up and hard at work.
"Morning, Sis. There a kettle on?"
"Yes. I hope there's enough hot water in it for both of you."
"I think there will be," she said with a giggle. She lifted the kettle and dumped it over her head. "Thanks!"
"You're most welcome."
She stepped into the bathroom, and pulled off her pajama top. She glanced at the mirror as she did so.
Ranma! Get down here, quick!
Ranma ran into the bathroom, still groggy. "What is it? Man, I think you busted an eardrum..."
"How could I? It was a mental call?"
"Still gave me a headache...Whoa."
Akane flexed an arm, staring at it in wonder. "I must have put on five kilos of muscle, practically overnight. What do you think?"
Nice rack...
Akane blushed, and grabbed her pajama top. She glared at him, then dropped it. Hardly the first time you've seen me... Aloud, she said, "What could cause this?"
"The potion, of course," Ranma answered. And as for seein' em, they seem... nicer? Fuller?
Pervert. Keep your mind on the subject at hand.
"I dunno if you actually gained any muscle, Akane." He stepped forward and raised a hand towards her arm. "Mind if I..."
"Go ahead." Just the arm, she warned mentally.
He ran two fingers along her bicep, then pinched gently. "Yeah, you ain't got any more muscles, but it seems like you're...well, just usin' them better. Directin' power better."
"Well, I feel stronger."
"Yeah, you will. An' it'll make ya stronger, too, since you're stressin' these muscles more." He paused. "I think maybe you're channellin' some of my ki, as well."
"Really? That would explain a lot. And wouldn't it be our ki now?" Akane couldn't take her eyes off herself in the mirror. Baby fat was burned off, her shape was a touch more toned, yet feminine. Under clothes someone would be hard pressed to notice the difference, but for now she felt great.
"Geez, we didn't say vows yet and yer already takin' my stuff."
She stuck her tongue out at him impishly.
"Ya might even get some of my boosted healin' rate, since that's based off of ki, as well." He considered. "That would account for the reduction in body fat." Though I don't know why it'd make her boobs perkier...
I told you to stop thinking about my breasts. "So, want to exercise?"
Can't help it, I'm a guy. I even think about my own tits. He shook himself, then deliberately averted his eyes. "Sure. Lemme go out to the dojo and stretch out while you get changed."
"I'll be there in a few minutes." Akane said, still looking in the mirror. Then she paused, and glanced over to him. "You've never bothered to stretch out before we sparred before? Why now?"
"Ah...I dunno." Mentally, he thought, Because you're gonna kick my ass this time, I bet.
I promise not to listen in during the fight. Akane started changing, not caring that Ranma was in the room.
It ain't that. He stepped out, closing the door behind him. You just got a major step up in power, and ya can't help but listen, remember? But I can bet we're gonna get a lot better results trainin' ya because of this.
The two martial artists were both laying on the dojo floor, covered in sweat, breathing hard out of exhaustion.
Your balance needs more refinement, but your defense is solid! Ranma praised mentally, unable to calm his breath to form words.
Thanks, but I think it's because I could see your attacks coming, admitted Akane. Maybe I need a different sparring parter? A vague feeling of hurt came from him, and she quickly amended her thoughts. Not because I don't want to spar with you, but because I can't work on my defense if I know which attacks are coming before they start.
I have ways around that, trust me. I lost some endurance though. It sucks being at only half strength.
Hey, we worked it out, you only lost about 28%, not half!
Might as well be half. If I gotta tangle with someone like Herb, I'm in deep shit.
I'll be right there. I'm sure if we double team on someone, we can obliterate 'em now. Akane sat up and wiped the sweat off her forehead. "Oh come on, you can't be thinking about foolish things like 'fighting fair' when they want to kill you!"
Ranma had finally recovered enough breath to speak out loud. "Naw. If they want a fight, the rule is, Anything Goes." He grinned cockily. "An' with you on my side, we can whip 'em all!"
Akane stared at him, eyes wide. "That...is probably the nicest thing you've ever said to me."
Ranma sat down and crossed his legs. "While we're in here, we best discuss our battle plan."
Akane looked confused, but sat across from Ranma in the same fashion. "Battle plan?"
"For dealin' with the Fiancee Front."
"Oh." She nodded. "Let's get the easy one out of the way first. What do we do about Kodachi?"
Ranma snorted. "You consider her the easy one?"
"Yes. She has no claim of honour on you."
Ranma stopped for a minute. "Get her sane."
Akane frowned.
"No no, it's not impossible. If ya think 'bout it, she has a good grasp of reality. She's just twisted."
"Very twisted. But, all right, she does seem to live in the real world...she simply doesn't care what anyone else thinks."
"But then how do we get her to care?"
"Grab her, bring her here, and keep confrontin' her until she gets it."
"Maybe it would be easier to grab her, stuff her in a crate, and ship it to Antarctica."
Akane giggled. "A very tempting idea, but I don't think it would teach her to care."
"We need help," Ranma sighed. Maybe my mother, he thought.
Oh, God, no. She'll decide that the best thing to do would be to knock her up.
Then who do you suggest?
What about her idiot brother? Can we warp his delusions sufficiently?
That would work. We sane Kodachi up, and we send Tatewaki to the nut house. Ranma paused. Okay. What about Shampoo? She's crazier than a wooden watch, but if she goes home without me, she's in deep trouble with her people.
Get her knocked out by some guy. Any guy, just not you.
How about Ryouga?
He already has a girlfriend, Akane reminded him. That pig-farmer girl.
Not like he's real serious 'bout it.
Oh, you're mean that crush he has on me?
You knew?! Ranma's eyes were wide from disbelief.
What do you think I was, dense?
Not exactly dense, but...Well, okay. On that point, I did think you didn't notice.
It was a bit obvious, she thought. But that's why I was willing to help set him up with Akari. So he'd stop drooling over me.
Well, maybe there's a loophole or somethin'. An exploit, a...
We'll need my sister's help.
She still got that book of Amazon Law?
Even if she doesn't, she's an expert at finding loopholes.
Okay, we'll set Shampoo aside until we can do some recon, thought Ranma. Now for the tough one...Ukyo.
What are the options? Whole or in pieces?
Be nice! he admonished her. Remember, she was one of my first friends. An' if she'd just drop this engagement crap, she'd make a pretty decent friend to both of us. He scowled, and looked away; when he spoke again, it was in words. "As if she really knows me...how can she? She turns up ten years later, an' I say one kind word to her, an' she's suddenly chasin' me instead of tryin' ta kill me."
"One kind word..." Akane frowned, and switched back to her mental voice. Do you think maybe she's just...lonely?
That's possible. Why such the grudge? I mean, you didn't drastically change how ya feel 'bout Shampoo, but Ukyo...
Out of all of them, I saw the most of myself in her, Akane thought back. I'm not sure why. Shampoo never surprised me. She was always Shampoo. Ukyo though, she totally changed her face when it suited her.... I can't forgive that.
You two are a lot alike...save that Ukyo wants to tie me down to a life I couldn't stand. And yeah, you're right...she flip-flops an awful lot. Way more unstable than you. He sighed. But Pops an' I owe her a debt of honour, so...
No. Akane shook her head. Your father owes her father a debt of honour. You owe her nothing.
Their conversation was suddenly interrupted by a booming voice from the doorway. "Meditating together? A sure way of growing closer!"
They glanced up, to see Genma standing over them. Ranma grinned.
You hit him high, an' I'll hit him low.