Chapter 6

"I'm alright Richard. I mean, aside from my shoulder, I wasn't hurt". Kahlan insisted, "I'll be okay." Zedd had healed her shoulder and she was physically fine, but she'd been through a lot. Richard's face showed he wasn't totally convinced.

Zedd motioned to the collar around Kahlan's neck. "Now what about this"?

Richard moved to stand before Tyra. Zedd had removed the wizard's web he'd used on her. He didn't feel she was much of a threat and had decided to just keep a close eye on her. "Give me the key" he demanded.

"I….don't…have the key" she stammered, frightened by the look in his eyes. "I mean, I have it, or, I did have it…I haven't been able to find it. Please, don't hurt me." Richard could only shake his head in disbelief at her bumbling.

Zedd came over to stand by him. "You take Kahlan back to camp. She should rest. I'll take this one and search for the key. We'll look here in town first then search the route she took with Kahlan through the woods. Perhaps she lost it along the way". Zedd knew it would be like searching for a needle in a haystack, but what choice did they have. Without the key, the collar would not be coming off.

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Their walk back to camp was filled mostly with conversation of what happened to Kahlan. She told Richard how Tyra had been able to sneak up on her and get the Rada' Han around her neck, how she'd tried to fight before she was shot with the crossbow.

They arrived at camp and Richard started a fire. Once he got it lit, Kahlan put a hand to his shoulder, turning him to face her. "I'm sorry Richard. I hate that I'm the cause of your pain. I hope you realize how painful this is for me as well". He tried to give her a smile. He did know. "Right now, what you need is some rest. Why don't you wash up and then lay down for awhile. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here when you wake up, we can talk then". Kahlan nodded and went to do as he suggested.

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Kahlan awoke to find Richard sitting close by. She saw his eyes shift from her to the fire once he realized she was awake. He asked how she was feeling. "Feeling like I'd like a walk. Would you join me?"

"Sure". He stood, letting her lead the way. She grabbed a blanket so they'd have something to sit on. Kahlan wanted to talk with him and was afraid Zedd might return. She didn't want him interrupting them. This was too important. She decided to walk to the lake, near where the river joined it. It was pretty there and peaceful.

Richard could tell she wanted to talk so once they arrived he surveyed the area and chose a spot near the water. It was secluded by the high grasses on one side, the lake on the other. He could faintly hear the river gurgling in the distance.

He didn't want to have this conversation. He knew she was going to tell him she was leaving. His insides were twisted in knots. She'd probably stay right here in the town of Marley Glenn to find her 'mate' once he and Zedd moved on. How was he supposed to do that? Move on. He wouldn't be able to take one step from this place without her by his side. He had realized as they passed out of the town earlier that he was glaring at every man he saw, wondering if he would be her chosen. His blood still boiled at the thought. He could barely breathe each time he remembered seeing that snake Grantham with his hands on her…What Richard had said to her back in that cell applied now. He heard himself saying those words to her again: "Stay with me Kahlan. You can't leave me. I love you". This time, Kahlan looked lovingly back into his eyes, putting her hand gently to his face. "I know you love me Richard. I'll never leave you." She leaned forward to meet his lips in a sweet, tender kiss.

Richard jolted from his thoughts. His mind tormented him. Like it or not, the time was here.

Through a heavy breath, he finally asked her "What's on your mind?" She looked at him, not quite sure how to begin. She handed him the blanket and waited while he spread it out. He sat down facing the water. She moved to sit by him, and wrapped her arms around her knees. She didn't answer his question. She was silent for a long time, her mind focused on all that was before her. She started rather hesitantly, "Richard, I've been thinking…" she waited until she was sure he was looking at her "…about what you said. About choosing you. You know I want that more than anything, don't you? I wish it could be that way. I wish there was a way for me to just be a normal woman". Richard was thinking he loved her just the way she was. "But there isn't" she continued. Her gaze slid to the ground, her hand slowly coming to touch the Rada' Han. He could barely hear her next words she spoke them so softly, "At least, not permanently".

He gently lifted her chin with a finger. "What are you saying"? He wanted to be sure of what she meant.

She looked into his eyes. "I'm saying that, at least while I wear this, you and I can be together".

He took her arms and pulled her up to stand with him. Holding her shoulders he looked intently in her face. "Kahlan, I love the woman you are, the entire woman. I don't want some magical object to be the only way I can share my love with you. I'm going to find a way for us to be together". She had no doubt that if there was a way, he would find it.

"There isn't much time, Richard. Zedd said I must choose a mate before we leave". Just hearing those words 'choose a mate' made his blood run cold.

Her blue eyes beseeched his, willing him to understand just what this would mean for them. "This isn't the ideal way, but it is a way. Can't we at least have this"? He certainly wasn't going to refuse her that. Why couldn't they? He wasn't in danger of being confessed, she wore a Rada' Han. He wanted to be with her even without it, but he knew she wouldn't allow it. She'd already told him so. The Rada' Han was the only way she would allow it to happen. Yes, why couldn't they at least have this? He would finally know the softness of her touch. He could finally show her all she meant to him.

A cold thought struck him. His words came out more forceful than he intended, "And after? What happens then? Am I supposed to just let you go and choose a mate then? How do I do that Kahlan? How do I go on knowing another man holds you? Knowing you're bearing his children? Knowing I'll never see you again. What if, when you chose your mate, you're already carrying my child? What then, Kahlan?" Tears of pain and frustration ran down his face.

Kahlan lowered herself to the blanket and began to weep. He was right, of course. But that didn't stop her from wanting him, from needing him. Richard remained standing while she wept. He stared at the water, lost in his own agony. He finally pulled himself out of it, lowering himself next to her. He held her to him, her body shaking with emotion. His tongue felt too thick to speak. He could only manage to quietly shush her, as his hand stroked her hair. Kahlan quieted down with her arms wrapped around him. She sat up straight, wiping the tears from her face with the palms of her hands. "I don't know what the future holds, Richard. All I know is, I want to at least once experience real love with a man. I'd especially like my first time to be with the man I love. The only man I'll ever love".

Her fingers again went to the Rada' Han. "This is the only way I know for that to happen".

He looked at her for a long moment. He extended an arm, his fingers lightly exploring the collar before moving to caress her neck. "I love you Kahlan, with magic or without".

He leaned close and pulled her into a fervent kiss.

xxx