Ranma ½ was created by Takahashi Rumiko, and is owned by Kitty, Shonen Sunday Comics, Viz Video. Not me.

The Potion

Six

"Ya did really good, Tomboy," said Ranma. "Even Nabiki was impressed."

"All she said was that it wasn't glowing or giving off noxious fumes."

"For Nabs, that's high praise." Ranma chuckled.

You're thinking about....it, aren't you Ranma? Akane thought as they walked into their bedroom.

Oh, a little. I mean, should we do it? Can we?

We sort of already did. Akane blushed. For six hours.

Yeah, but the wrong way!

Don't take this the wrong way, Ranma, but I wish we hadn't done that. And not just because we were in the wrong bodies. I mean...I know we're going to get married, but...

We'll wait until the wedding day then. Ranma decided mentally as he laid down on the futon, arms crossed behind his head.

I'm not being unfair, am I?

Akane, for all that ya call me a pervert, I ain't real interested in takin' advantage of ya. The sorta dreams that we've been havin', though, is doin' a number on my self-control.

Perhaps we should switch to our cursed form?

He snorted. Then I'd have ta worry about your self-control. Besides, I don't wanna be sore in the mornin' again.

Hey, blame your cat side on that!'

Male cats are the ones that keep goin' until they can't. Not the other way 'round.

And besides, you're not taking advantage of me if I'm willing--Wait. Don't hear that. Oh, this bloody potion is giving me fits!'

Ranma looked at Akane and smiled. Not tonight, but soon.

So what are we going to be doing tomorrow?

Well, we got school, and we still got Ukyo to deal with.

I can't wear my uniform anymore, can I? Akane thought sadly.

You got tons of wardrobe options, Akane.

Yes, but... An image of herself in Ranma's silks popped up between them. I can't see myself wearing this to school. Among other things, the rumour mill will go nuts.

Don't haveta go that far. You have pants, dontcha?

A few pairs of jeans. But they're rather tight fitting. They won't survive a change. My gi, but I can't wear a gi to school. Several pairs of shorts, but most of them are pink or pale yellow.

Pale yellow, Ranma suggested.

It's still gonna look girlie. Akane grinned. First time we've had to worry about me looking feminine.

Ya can say that again.

We'll go clothes shoppin' after school.

So I only need to survive one day...Do you think I should tell everyone about the curse? It'll come out eventually. You never could hide it.

Of course. We'll do it at the gate even.

Akane awoke with a gasp. "Ranma--"

There was no response from her fiance.

Akane carefully took his hand and pulled it out of her pajama bottoms. "Pervert..." She blushed, as she remembered her dream. "He must've been reacting to that..."

She had a sudden thought, that she had difficulty repressing. He's taken control of my body before - well, I gave him control, but it's the same thing...maybe I was...

Ranma slowly roused himself to consciousness. "Man, I had the weirdest dream.." he mumbled as he yawned.

"Go wash your hands," muttered Akane.

"What? Oh, so it wasn't a dream..." he whispered as he stood up.

"Go!" Akane picked up a pillow and threw it at him. Then collapsed back onto her bed and dropped her face into her hands.

Ranma returned a few minutes later. "If ya want, we can try a few more exercises before school."

"I'm sorry, Ranma," she mumbled.

"Huh? Oh." He waved it off. "It wasn't like ya chucked a barbell at me."

"No, I mean...about taking control of...using you to..."

"Oh, that? Well, it shows you're sufferin' as much as me." Ranma grinned.

"This isn't funny!" she yelled.

Calm down. I don't mind, really.

It's too embarrassing...

When we meditate, we see each other in our minds, right? How 'bout we just do the deed in there?

Akane's eyes went wide. Ranma, that's the best idea you ever had!

Ranma blinked. Whoa...that doesn't seem at all like you.

If it'll help...I mean, it's not like it really means the same--I mean, it...doesn't count, right? It's to help us keep control in real life?

I ain't so sure it wouldn't "count". But--aw, man. Let's worry about it later. Aloud, he said, "Kasumi's got breakfast ready. If ya hurry, we might also have some time to spar."

"Here's the happy couple now..." Nabiki said with little enthusiasm, a small ice pack against her face.

"Nabiki, I don't think Kasumi punched you quite hard enough to bruise," Akane noted as she sat at the breakfast table.

"Actually, Akane, Nabiki stepped into the punch as she was attacking, so the force was doubled," Kasumi said with a giddy smile.

She really does have the knowledge to teach, Ranma observed mentally.

"Bruise or not, it still stings," grumbled Nabiki. "So have you two idiots decided what you're going to do about school today?"

"Pants," they answered at the same time.

"Oh, I suppose you can't wear your uniform," said Kasumi. "If you were to change suddenly..."

"Worse than that, Kasumi," said Akane. "My guy form isn't as different in size to my girl form as Ranma's is to his, but all of my clothes are still sized to my girl side. Which means, at best, I'd be extremely uncomfortable in the event of a cold-water experience."

"Akane, how do you think you would look in a modified male uniform?" Nabiki had that glint in her eye.

"Silly, I bet."

"I think I still have the one we got for Ranma. He's never worn it, after all."

"That's not terrible. After all, as a girl, I bet it'll still be... well, more flattering than yellow shorts." The image of herself, her female self, in the male uniform flitted through her head. "Actually, Nabiki, I don't think it'd look so bad. If Ukyo can get away with it..."

"Yeah, but she's got gender identity issues worse than Ranma's. Not to mention a pain tolerance I can't imagine... binding breasts that big."

The room got suddenly quiet. Ukyo stood at the door, holding what looked to be a gift. The sound of her teeth grinding filled the empty room.

Nabiki turned around and looked at the chef. "Oh, like what I said isn't true?"

Ukyo seemed to grab ahold of herself, and turned to Ranma. "Ranchan...I just wanted to say...I'm sorry. It was wrong, what I did, but I..."

Akane stepped between Ranma and Ukyo. "All gifts, perishable goods, and well wishes filter through me first!"

"She's right, Ukyo. If you wanna get back on my good side, start with hers."

"Bit of a trap, isn't it, Ukyo?" Nabiki smiled evilly. "You can't apologize to him without apologizing to her...and thereby officially giving up."

Ukyo gave a slight grin as she reached for her large spatula. "Insulting my feminimity is one thing, but you've gone too far, ice bitch!" The spatula came around, slicing at Nabiki.

Nabiki barely was able to duck under the soaring metal.

Oh, my God. Stop her, Ranma!

Not unless she actually hits her.

You want my sister to get hit?!

Well, yeah. Though I don't really want her hurt. I just wanna see how good she is.

Nabiki stepped forward, shifting downward, and threw a punch directly into Ukyo's unguarded midriff.

Thought she'd see that...Ukyo's got a huge hole in her defenses.

The punch landed, but Ukyo barely moved back. "Pain tolerance, remember?!" she snapped.

"Cross-dressing monkey, too." Nabiki grinned.

"Oh, please don't fight here," said Kasumi. "We have a dojo for that!" But her pleas went completely unnoticed.

Nabiki likes to taunt during fights. It controls the flow of the opponent.

You're analyzing this?

Hey, everythin's trainin', remember?

Nabiki leaped towards Ukyo, twisting in mid-flight to launch a powerful cross-kick, but was promptly slammed into the ground by Ukyo's battle-spatula.

Fantastic move.

She flattens my sister, and you're praising it?

Nabiki's move...didn't realize she was that good. He stepped forward, and seized Ukyo's spatula. "That's just about enough, Ukyo."

Ukyo froze.

Ukyo...not Ucchan?

I've had about enough of her, too.

"You can come back when you apologize to my fiancee." Ranma's voice was firm.

Ukyo nodded and slung her spatula back on her back. She put the giftbox on the table and left with a small bow. "Sorry about the mess..." she croaked as she exited.

Ranma stepped over to Nabiki. "Yo, Nabs. You okay?"

"Of course I'm not okay, you fucking idiot!" snarled Nabiki.

"Language, sister!"

"Sorry, Kasumi. Damn, she hits like a hammer!" Nabiki rubbed her head. "And why didn't any of you help?"

"With a large weapon like that in a small space like this family room, multiple combatants would make it harder for you to focus, and would make it easier for the weapon wielder to make hits." Kasumi smiled at her answer.

"Well, it was obviously easy enough for her to get one anyway." Nabiki scowled. "Akane, let's go get that uniform for you. Ranma?"

"Yeah?"

"I want you to train me up until I can flatten that girl."

"Shouldn't you worry about me first, sister? After all, I do still hold the lead in our spars." Kasumi's expression was one of pride.

"If I can take Ukyo down, Kasumi...you should be a walk in the park."

Yo, Tomboy. You're gonna be trainin' Kasumi.

"Don't worry Kasumi, I'll get you up to speed too," Akane said with a good amount of pride.

"This sucks," grumbled Akane.

"How do ya think I feel?" snapped Ranma. "She hit you this time, an' I still change!"

"She never misses, does she?" Akane chuckled, despite her foul mood. "I used to think you wanted to be hit by her, but she really just...never misses."

"Gotta be something in her eyes. Should go see the doctor. And how do you dry so quickly?!"

"I dunno...how come you do the--Oh, hell. Here we go."

Ranma looked up...to see Nerima's poster child for brain damage, standing at the gates of the school.

"Kuno. Great. This we need." Ranma scowled. "Who gets to beat him up today?" Then he blinked. Mentally, he asked, How good is your aim? I think I have an idea.

Better, much better. What are you...

Remember that new punch? Throw it at me.

What are you... oh! OH! Akane smiled at the thought and slid into her stance before releasing a flurry of punches at Ranma each cut just barely missing her fiancee. Ranma to the naked eye appeared to have been locked still, but within seconds, Akane's attack wore down to nothing, leaving a smoldering empty spot where he was standing.

Everone was busy looking at all the flashes... it was easy ta sneak away...

"What sorcery is this?!" Kuno screamed as he ran towards the scene of supposed carnage.

Akane turned to face him. "Oh, is this the legendary swordsman Kuno Tatewaki? I am the dark sorcerer Hikaru, come to destroy your happiness."

Hikaru?

So I like Star Trek.

"I have taken Tendo Akane and the Pigtailed Girl from you." Akane grinned. 'Ranma, find some hot water.'

"Taken--"

"Yes. Already, I have learned to mimic the body of Tendo Akane, and now that I have consumed her soul, will be able to mock the form of your Pigtailed Girl." Her form shifted back to her female self. "You see? And your soul is next on my list..."

Kuno's eyes were wide in fear. He shakily raised his bokken up. "I shall smite you!"

"You think so? Taste my fifty-meter punch!" She struck forward, though still out of his reach. Her mind's eye saw Ranma, still cloaked in the Umi-sen-ken, strike at Kuno, hitting him in the gut.

"Regardless of the form I wear, my Soul Butchery technique will still work on you." She advanced forward a step. "Even though its range is limited...all I need do is get within two meters of you."

Kuno's fragile grasp on reality shattered that moment. He stumbled to his feet and ran as quickly as his feet could take him.

Should we follow?

Naah, a police man will find him and take him to a nice padded cell.

Ranma dropped the Umi-sen-ken, and he and Akane took a bow to the cheering students.

"So, you're cursed now?" asked Yuka. "How did it happen?"

"Yeah," said Sayuri. "Did you go to that place in China, or did someone just bring some of its water here?"

"Oh, um, plane flying over head... dropped some water." Ranma's explanation was lame, and choppy to say the least.

"They fly that stuff around?" Yuka blinked. "That's dangerous."

Your friends aren't much brighter than my friends.

Sayuri touched Akane's shoulder. "Your male form is really pretty. Like a model from a magazine."

"Don't be getting any Kuno-type ideas," said Akane, laughing. "We were going to tell everyone, but seeing the Blue Blunder at the gates, we decided to have some fun with him first."

"I don't think he's coming back."

"If we're only that lucky..."

"If we're really lucky," said Ranma, "He won't come within ten meters of either of us. Except maybe my guy form. But I don't have to worry about him gropin' me."

"I didn't realize that Yuka and Sayuri were quite that perverted," grumbled Akane.

"How d'ya think I feel?" retorted Ranma. "I was in the guys' shower room at the time!"

"I guess women really are as bad as men." Akane felt dejected, the fairer sex isn't quite that fair anymore.

"Worse in some regards," Nabiki said. "Now that school's over, you two feel up to a shopping expedition? Akane's already in male form, so..."

"Remember, we're looking for unisex, and we're gonna be quick 'bout it. Haveta start trainin' you, after all," Ranma reminded Nabiki.

"Oh, yes, Ranma." Nabiki smirked. "I look forward to getting all hot and sweaty with you...your hands all over my body..."

"Nabiki!" Akane scowled at her sister.

"Keep your pants on, little brother."

"At least 'till we get to the shop." Akane glared at Ranma. "And you better not peep on me."

You're gonna be changin' as a guy. Why would I wanna peep on ya?

Pervert. I know what runs through your dreams. Aloud, Akane said, "Have you given any thought to advertising yet, Nabiki?"

"Well, sex sells." Nabiki was still rubbing the sore spot on her cheek. "And we have no shortage of young, attractive instructors."

"Four female and two male," agreed Akane.

"Well, that's one way of looking at it." Nabiki considered. "Have you thought about separate classes for males and females? At the lower levels, anyway, since you'll have more beginners than anything else."

"Have 'em mixed," Ranma suggested.

"If I am to assist with organizing this mess, I'll need to know your reasoning."

"Separatin' girls from boys will make the girls think they're not equals." Ranma seemed very adamant about this point.

"A good point," said Nabiki. "Now, because I don't enjoy playing the Devil's Advocate...Akane, why would it be a bad idea?"

"Why? Well, boys do have better developed striking muscles at an early age. Girls will need to be fast-tracked and seperated to get stronger."

"I don't think so," said Ranma, shaking his head. "Girls are actually stronger than guys, kilo for kilo. An' they are faster, an' they gain strength faster. Put 'em in with a bunch of guys, an' they'll get better faster just to show 'em up."

"You do have a point. Nabiki?"

Nabiki raised her hands. "I'm the one that's organizing and advertising. Decisions are up to you two. And you'd better learn to co-operate and make decisions between you, or I'm outta here."

Akane rolled her eyes, and turned back to Ranma. "Another possible problem is that girls don't want to get groped. You just know that some guys are gonna go for the throw so they can get a handful of boobs."

"We'll be startin' with little kids though, right?" Ranma seemed confused. "After all, the younger the better for the art."

"Forgot about that," admitted Akane. "But as soon as we announce that we're accepting students, there's gonna be a rush from Fuurinkan to sign up."

"We'll give different age-groups different physical requirements."

"Hold on," said Nabiki. "You're going to put physical requirements on applicants? You know that will reduce the number of students you get, right?"

"Better to have serious ones right?"

"I wasn't criticizing, just making sure you knew the consequences." Nabiki paused. "Okay, I think I can have some handbills and posters done up in about four days. Will that be soon enough?"

"What other kind are there?"

"Oh, plenty," said Nabiki. "I'm just used to thinking of chanting slogans and hand-painted signs when the word 'demonstration' is mentioned."

"How does this look?" Akane walked out of the dressing room wearing a new pair of pants and a rather plain shirt.

"Like hell," said Nabiki. "You have no clue how to dress a guy, do you?"

"Looks functional at least," Ranma said.

"You'll seriously let your husband out in that?" Nabiki asked.

"Ya looked at what I usually wear recently?' retorted Ranma. He turned back to Akane. "Those are all right individually, but not together. Get rid of the red shirt, switch it with white or black."

"You wear a red shirt and black pants," pointed out Akane.

"Yeah, but they ain't sweats. Ya look like you're about to stop a phaser beam."

He snorted. "Everyone knows what a redshirt looks like. An' the noise he makes. 'Captain, over here. I've found something. Aaaaah!'"

Akane scowled, then grabbed a white sweatshirt off the rack and walked back into the change room.

"Oh, and boxers Akane! Not briefs!" Ranma shouted over the curtain.

"I know," yelled Akane.

Ranma chuckled, then glanced over at Nabiki. "About time I got to bug her about wardrobe, after the grief you two have given me."

"So do you enjoy dressing your husband?"

"Ya seem ta like pushin' that button, Nabs," said Ranma. "What if I told ya it don't bug me?"

"I'd have to find a different button," said Nabiki with a smirk.

"Oh. Well, then, stop callin' her my husband. An' it ain't that I'm enjoyin' it. I'm just enjoyin' her reaction to it. If ya knew what she was thinkin' when she was puttin' on a pair of boxers--"

"Shut up, Ranma!"

"It's already established that you're the 'wife', especially after that marathon..."

"Hey! Neither of us had control!"

"Most teenagers don't."

"An' I thought we agreed to never mention that again."

"You agreed. I didn't."

"You promised not to tell anyone!" yelled Akane.

"See anyone here that will make a big fit over it? Good, now get dressed."

"Too much color."

"Yeah, havta agree," Ranma said. "Wouldn't want my husband running around like a beacon. Gotta keep other gals' eyes off ya."

Akane fumed. Nabiki scowled.

"Okay, we've tortured ya long enough, Akane. Let's get this crap checked out, then I'll buy you two a sundae."

"Doesn't he have to buy it?" Nabiki asked.

"Very funny," growled Akane. Then grinned, stepped between them. "All right, girls. Let's go." Her hand grabbed Ranma's ass, and he jumped. "My treat."

"Ooh, you two've gotten that far without the catnip?" Nabiki teased.

"Actually," said Akane. "I've got a better idea. I'll treat you, Ranma, and we'll watch Nabiki have to pay for her own..."

"Sounds like a plan!" Ranma slapped Akane's butt in return.

"Get a room, you two!"