Disclaimer: I don't own GS/GSD, and golly gee, don't we all know it.

Chapter 26

He closed the door and turned back to the bed a distance away in the large room she lay in.

Hobbling slightly but managing to move quite swiftly, Athrun passed by a panel of mirrors and glanced at himself. A band-aid was wrapped securely around his forehead and his hospital shirt was open to reveal three-quarters of his chest covered in clean bandages. But these were slightly stained even when the bandages were terribly thick. His wounds hadn't been unlike what the doctors and surgeons had described them as. It would be a bonus if he wasn't scarred.

Ignoring the disturbing sight, he turned to Cagalli who was lying, covered up to her chin by a blanket and surrounded by thousands of flowers from all over ORB. Likewise, she had a bandage, but it was only at the side of her head, and compared to his own, hers would be akin to a scratch. Lacus had been right in saying that she wasn't physically as injured as he was, but then her eyes, they were shut, almost as if they were reacting to something thrown at her face.But he was prepared that she wouldn't be able to open her eyes and see him, but he could see her breathing as her chest rose up and down wearily and her eyes were closed very tightly.

Moving over with some difficulty, he sat on the chair next to her bed and said softly, grateful that a little of the hoarseness had disappeared from his voice, "It's me, Cagalli."

She turned her head towards the sound of his voice and he saw a tear slide down and wet her pale cheek before she tried to pull up the blankets higher, knowing he could see even if she couldn't and then she whispered, "I know. I heard you come in without Kira and Lacus just now."

There was something terribly proud still in her. He knew that she had a streak of independence and free-spirited ways, almost wilfulness even when he had met her for the first time, but now there was only a shadow left, but pride was still evident. She refused to let him think she was weak even when her eyes were as good as blind, and his heart ached, even more so after he had lost his mother. Cagalli's lips were pursed slightly, and he wept inside as he saw the bitterness and her lost innocence.

Staring at her and trying to ignore the pain ebbing through him, he reached for her tiny hand, now wrapped with a bandage and murmured, "It still hurts, doesn't it?"

Cagalli felt him stroking her hand even through he thick layer of bandages and whispered back, "Not so much now, it's healing well, the doctors said, and I don't feel so much pain now, but it's not the wounds there, it's my-,"

And she choked and sobbed once and said in a muffled voice made soft by the effort not to cry, "I think I can't see."

Then she sat up on her own and the blankets slid down to reveal her arms with numerous bandages, although they weren't very serious, he could see. She had a slight cut at the side of her cheek, and he gently tucked her hair behind her ear and carefully inspected it. It would heal soon, but he knew the traumatic experience wouldn't fade so quickly, not with someone who lived for the sun being forced into perpetual darkness. Few of the cuts were deep wounds, but she wasn't in such bad shape yet, except for her eyes.

He took her head in his hands and guided it gently to his chest where she suddenly wept and laughed at the same time, and Athrun could hear her mangled words.

"It's stupid, really," she chortled through her tears and laughter, "I mean, at least can still walk and can sue my hands and can hear and speak even if I- I can't s-see. Maybe I can still lead and fulfil my father's dreams for ORB and m-maybe if I can't see because I can't open my eyes than it isn't so bad because I still have my brother and Lacus and my hands and feet left. I'm not a princess, I can s-still-,"

Cagalli was rambling on and on in her effort to make light of the situation and she sobbed and giggled at the same time until Athrun had to turn his head away, his being swathed in agony and he said loudly, "Enough!"

She was trembling now, and her hands were trying to grasp onto something she could feel around for, anything, and he took her hands swiftly and pressed them around him.

Then he stroked her head and said softly, "I'm sorry."

"Why?" she sobbed in bewilderment.

"We were like this on the Archangel once, remember? I said I would protect you, but I couldn't," he murmured, feeling guilt stab him everywhere.

"It's not your fault," she was saying with an old shadow of the fierceness and pride she used to hold in her voice, having tired herself out with crying, and then he could see her valiantly try to force open her eyes but she couldn't, and tears were flowing out again as she insisted weakly, "I'm Cagalli Yula Atha, I can use a gun as well as any other soldier can, so I can protect myself. I don't need anyone to help me like that."

Then she pushed him away although she stumbled when she lost her balance and felt blindly for the blanket then pulled it over head so he couldn't see her.

"I want you to go away," she said, her voice muffled again. He knew she was termbling somewhere underneath and Athrun stared at her form hidden under her blanket.

"Why?" he said once he had found his voice again. The last time he had cried was when she had pointed a gun at him and screamed, "Why did you kill Kira?"and then she had tossed away the gun and they had eventually cried themselves hoarse.

"Get ready to tell the whole world what happened," she muttered somewhere under the blanket, "Now the ORB government has sent a whole team to investigate what happened and what caused the explosion. So far, everything leads back to you, and you better get ready to explain yourself on international news. My advisors have agreed that I can be excused form it since I appear to be the victim in this case."

The sheer stupidity of it appalled him and he cried, "You know I didn't activate that bomb!"

He watched the form swathed in the blankets helplessly and she said emotionelessly, "I know you didn't. But the rest of the world won't listen until you can prove that at nine twenty-six pm two days ago, you did not attempt to trick Cagalli Yula Atha into following you to a beach and pre-planting a distance bomb to assassinate her. The reports have proven that you drove us there, since there were witnesses along the road. And you are believed to have further instigated the whole plan by bringing the ORB Supreme Commander at the exact time the explosion took place."

Rubbing his temples as a headache shot through him, he asked, frustrated, "I don't care what they think as long as you know the bomb was a freak accident! So what if we were together like the last time on a beach and the situation was similar to the other time when we were in Berlin? There are such coincidences, you know it's true! As long as you know I would never hurt a hair on your head, it's enough!"

"No it isn't," she retorted from underneath, "Because PLANT is calling for an investigation of their own to protect your reputation and theirs, and ORB is in a tense situation now.They won't allow me to protect you either, because they think I'm desperate to keep things hidden for the better good of long-term peace and also because I may be biased since I admitted we were comrades before. You know I won't be allowed to protect you, and you know I can't. And you know as well as I do that two political leaders getting hurt in an explosion doesn't mean flowers and blue skies either."

Nothing he said after that would persuade her to emerge from under and he couldn't bear to take away the blankets, because he knew she was crying underneath, and nothing he said would make her respond and talk to him anymore, so he left. He ignored the bodyguards who flexed their muscles threateningly at him and Athrun made his way back to the ward where his secretary who had been waiting for him to come back, and she morosely showed him the millions of letters he had gotten from people all over the world.

Some believed that he had tried to repeatedly kill the ORB Chairman to take control of ORB for himself and had purposely hurt himself to try and defect attention away from himself as the true instigator of the assassination attempt, some believed that he was truly innocent and a victim of bad circumstances and freak accidents, and he closed his eyes in frustration and agony and then he told his secretary to burn the lot of letters. She took them away without a word to offer for once. He appreciated the silence. He needed to think, and he had to think properly.

Then when Athrun was sure that his secretary had left, he slipped himself under the covers the way he had watched Cagalli do and drifted off to sleep in his troubled thoughts. But he made sure he took some pills before he slept, he didn't want to wake up screamingin terror, not knowing whether what he had dreamed was reality or false.

But he had told the secretary to burn the letters.

He didn't care anymore.

Two weeks later, fully recovered and acting as if he hadn't been in a coma for two days straight, Athrun sat at his desk, completing the paperwork for the day. His secretary was frightened of his productivity, she thought it was almost as if nothing had happened. Athrun caught her telling the receptionist that, but he turned away and didn't say anything,bu he locked himself in his office for a while and stared out of the window where it was raining without a single pause. He knewCagalli wascrying somewhere and hiding herself because she was too proud to admit she didn't know what to do any longer.

And something in him felt as if it had been wrenched out.

Kira and Lacus had left to return to Berlin, they couldn't hold off their work any longer than they already had. Although Cagalli knew her twin had sneaked into the site held under heavy investigation, effectively using his status as ORB university's head of Science and Engineering, she didn't say anything.She didn't know what he was up to, but something in her had hope left. She would try and open her eyes every now and then, but Cagalli would remeber the light and something would trigger off and her eyes would remain firmly shut.Her eyes were in perpetual shock.

Before Kira had left, he hugged her tightly to him and told whispered to her to be safe. She knew he had taken a piece of the explosive with him in secret, although it was a terrible crime to be removing evidence from the site. He didn't say anything; she knew he would be spending sleepless nights in his laboratory for the next few weeks to save them all.

And she knew Lacus looked at her with sad eyes even though she couldn't see the sorrow on Lacus' face. She could see it in Lacus' voice and see it in the heavy footsteps that Lacus walked, like she was carrying a burden. Cagalli's ears took up the lost sightand for a few days, she couldn't bear listening to anything for more than a few minutes, she wasn't used to all the sounds she could pick up.

Cagalli was grateful to both of them, but she refused to listen to them and go for the operation and in the end, they didn't force her. Nothing they said would make Cagalli more stubborn than she had become, and she refused to go for any operation to force her eyes open after the scan results had came back.

The surgeons had ran a laser-scan over her eyes and had confirmed that her eyes were indeed unscathed in their sockets, but her eyes wouldn't open because they were in a permanent state of shock. When the light had erupted blindingly, she had blinked and shielded her eyes instinctively, turning away just in time before she was truly blinded and her pupils were burnt with the cornea, which was the aim of the bomb. But try as she might, she could not force them open with her own free will and would become frustrated, crying with the effort to reopen her eyes.

The surgeons had offered to operate on her eyes to force them open since mere physical methods seemed to be ineffective, she didn't trust them or she would recall the light and something would die in her again, but they were afraid that forcing the eyes open with machinery would blind her if it was overtly forceful and her eyes, rolled back at her head like she was sleeping, would not be able to respond to the brain's signals to rotate correctly, and then she would really be blind. She was too afraid of the risks, she refused their offer flat.

Nothing was announced to the world yet. The only knew that she had recovered completely and were waiting eagerly if not impatiently for PLANT's comments on ETERNITY's Athrun Zala's behalf. In fact, there were talkshows going on, some politician's were even asked to comment on the brewing issue which some did, although nothing much could be said. Nobody took sides either, they weren't enough of idiots to do so.

And nobody knew she was writing out her work manually, cooped up in her office everyday with Rainie faithfully reading out the documents to her. Her handwriting was a mess even though she tried to align her writing without her eyes to see where her pen was going. Cagalli knew it was a mess herself, even though Rainie never said anything, and she was filled with despair.

Everyday, she knew that Athrun came in an attempt to see her, but her bodyguards refused to admit him in, in case the rumours and current evidence were true. She didn't bother correcting them so they would let him in, something wanted toknow he was there, but then most of her didn't want to let him see the state she was in.

She didn't want him to see her in a sorry state anyway, and her heart was filled with a fierce pride as she felt her way around and walked with feeling for corners and steps. She had memorised the number of steps in every place that belonged to her house and the office.

She didn't care that she was cooping herself in the same place every day; she never wanted to venture out of the only place familiar to her anymore. She hated herself immensely when she admitted that she was afraid to go out into a world she couldn't' see anymore.

Then one day, she heard him come into the drawing room, and she paused her writing and shifted her head towards him while he walked and sat next to her. She breathed deeply and recognised his scent and asked emotionlessly, "Who let you in?"

"Rainie," she head him say softly, and she could sense he was very near her and stiffened.

Her pen was poised, ready in her hands, but she couldn't continue writing and sat with her eyes closed like it had been for quite sometime.

Athrun could see she was frightened although she was trying to look composed and he said in a low, soft voice, "You're wearing your green dress again."

"Yes," she answered awkwardly, slowly putting down the pen near her so she could feel for it again where she knew it would be close by, "Rainie helped me with it this morning."

He sat next to her in silence while she placed her hands nervously in her lap and she asked hesitantly, "Why did you come?"

Shifting slightly, then doing the same to her so that she was facing him directly even with her eyes closed, he said firmly, "Marry me."

Her lips flew apart in shock and he could see her eyebrows knit together fiercely as she stammered, although her expression was fierce "You've lost your mind!"

"No I haven't," he uttered obstinately, then repeated again, "I said, marry me."

And when he tried to haul her left hand to him as if he was prepared to slid the ring on without her consent or not,she struggled blindly and managed to snatch her hand back from an iron grip she could feel but couldn't see.

"I won't," she said, sounding a little petulant and proud as she held her head high while her eyelids remained tightly closed.

He slid a hand on her cheek and pulled their faces closer, he could feel her ragged breath and was sure she could feel him breathing too, although it wasn't shaky like hers.

"You will," he said evenly, not caring that she was struggling to get away.

"I don't want to!" she cried, pushing him off but missing and pushing some part of the wall and blushing at her blinded attempts in anger and frustration. Her efforts to push him away resulted in her getting more entagled in his arms, and she cursed, not for the first time, that her eyes were closed.

"Why not?" he enunciated coldly, still holding her tightly. She knew he was staring at her, she could feel it, and her cheeks burned.

"Because I don't need you to say we're getting married just to make the world realise you're innocent in this case, since it's well known all over that people in love don't just set bombs to kill their other halves! Because I don't need your sympathy anyway! Because I know getting married now will help us out of the mess we're currently in! Because I don't want to burden you! Because I can't see how you're looking at me when you ask me to marry you!" she cried out in a rush.

He gazed at her lovely face that showed the fierceness, pride and spirit he had not known he had loved until late in the war when he had met her again in the Archangel, and said stubbornly, "I wanted you to marry me two years ago when I gave you the ring, and I would have asked you that night at the beach if the explosion hadn't happened. Why does it make it any different now?"

She was silent for a few seconds, and then she spoke, steadying her voice and readying herself.

"Because Kira can prove the bomb wasn't set up by you by showing the report he churned out when you appear on international channels tomorrow to prove you're innocent! Because I can't see you or anything with my own two eyes anymore!" she said dispassionately.

Athrun slowly let go of her and stared into space for a while before he said anything.

"I know Kira can prove that," he murmured quietly, "He called me a few days ago and said to get ready to explain everything. I know he can prove it with the sample he stole. But doesn't that show that I don't need to marry you just to strengthen my case and save my skin to get cover to prove I'm innocent? Doesn't that show I need you but not to prove my innocence?"

"Yes,' she choked out, "but couldn't you wait until everything has blown over first? I'm blind for Pete's sake, I can't go and be with someone the world has their eyes on!"

Her eyes were leaking again even though she hated to feel the wetness cascading over her cheeks and felt even more terrible as she felt the rough pads of his fingers gently brush them away, and then some part of her recognised his lips on her forehead after he rushed away her fringe and heard him whispering, "Will you trust me?"

She wanted to say no to drive him away so she wouldn't burden him and he wouldn't be able to see her blinded like that for the rest of his life, then maybe he'd go back to wherever he came from and find someone else to suit him better so that she could just have a heartbreak once and for all, then get on with what she had left. But she knew somewhere that couldn't refuse and lie to him. It was obvious then, the fact that he knew he could influence her so much into agreeing to most of anything he said.

So she let him kiss her and when he broke it, she bit her lip until she drew blood after that, choking back sobs as she pulled away. She felt him letting go of her and felt cold as the distance between them expanded, then she felt a release of the pressure on the couch they had been sitting on as she heard him get up and leave her facing where he had been, frozen with her hands still and limp in her lap.

Then he was gone, and she hated herself for letting go of him, but it was over and it was done.

Author's note:

Alright, this is not the end, thank god it isn't, or I'll be another Fukada who I absolutely abhor. His whishy-washiness makes ASUCAGA fans want to cry sometimes,don't they now? Please continue to R&R&R, make my day.