Wow this took a long time to get up. I really must apologize, my computer decided that anything Safari related was O-U-T, so I was unable to get onto the internet till I remembered that Firefox was hiding out here. Anyway, some of you complained that I didn't give Edward-o his just desserts...

I hope this chapter remedies those complaints.

- - -

One Year Later

Seattle, Washington.

"Berry's Café"

Sarah sat with a mug of coffee in one hand and a newspaper in the other. Across from her sat Jareth, who also held a paper, and a mug of Chai tea.

"When?" Sarah asked softly, her green eyes never flickering from the paper. "Soon." Jareth replied, with equal non-chalontness.

What they were waiting for happened to be Edward-o and his ladylove, Isabelly, who had come to Seattle that day for some quality time. This had made Sarah snort when Jareth told her, but she'd jumped quickly at the idea of exacting their revenge.

Tucked into Jareth's inside coat pocket was a list of possible punishments, along with an abridged version of a list of people they had yet to exact revenge upon. The long list sat in the castle library, waiting to be taken out on a rainy day when the King and Queen were bored… or feeling the need to pull someone's toenails slowly from their feet.

Behind Jareth, the door to the café jingled merrily as someone pushed it open, sending in a blast of cool air. Sarah looked up from her paper long enough to let a grin spread wickedly across her face before she glanced at Jareth, and then back at the unread mortal newspaper.

Isabelly (fine, fine, I'll call her Bella) was wrapped up tightly in at least one strong winter coat, two scarves, and possible two pairs of pants. She also wore a bracelet that looked suspiciously like a leash, which led back to Edward-o's hand. Obviously, he had stepped up from letting her run around wearing t-shirts and jeans.

Behind those two came Alice and her husband, the blonde guy, who shares a name with the Author's honorary sister's dog. The dog wears the name better.

Jareth slid a hand into his pocket and pulled out the list of punishments, offering it to Sarah, who plucked it from his hand and unfolded it, trailing a hand down the choices…

Thee Royal list of Punishments for those who do bad things.

By Squiret, Castle librarian, with the assistance of Queen Sarah in some spellings.

Removal of arms and/or legs.

Removal of eyes and/or hands. For such people who see fit to look and/or touch the King and/or Queen in a manner not deemed appropriate.

Removal of buttocks (and on those of a male gender, removal of other items the King does not think they need). For those who grab the Queen's buttocks. Those who do such a thing to the King may not survive to see a punishment.

Dip in the Bog of Eternal Stench. For any range of actions. On an unrelated note, the bog is particularly nice on Sundays.

Oubliette. For those whom the Queen shows mercy but the King dislikes anyway.

Job as Gardner.Removed by Queen Sarah for reasons of her own.

Death by goblin singing. Singing that is not directed by the King.

A Bite of Peach.Removed by Queen Sarah. It shall now be known that enchanted peaches are reserved for the Queen and/or King. Enchanted strawberries are fine.

Death by sleeping on the couch for four weeks because he accidentally caught her dress on fire during a game of tag. We are assured that this is a horrible, horrible way to go. The King was only saved by his dashing good looks and-… the King was only saved by the fact that the Queen loves his sorry ass.

There is no tenth punishment, however in certain cases the Queen and/or King may make one up.

Sarah couldn't help but giggle at one or two of the punishments, especially the ninth one, which when mentioned still made Jareth shiver in horror.

While Sarah had been reading, Bella had tried to order a coffee, been stopped by Edward-o, and had finally settled on a simple green tea. Edward-o ordered a second green tea before leading his sweet Isabelly – sorry, Bella – to her seat. There, he took away the silverware, for fear she might hurt herself.

Alice and Jasper slid in across from the happy couple.

"So, precious?" The King asked, resting his chin on his hand and reaching a hand out to trail down her neckline. "What shall we do?"

Sarah shivered in a manner completely of opposite horror. Damn this man and his ability to make her go gooey inside even after years of marriage!

Composing herself, Sarah tapped the list once. "I like number two and three…" She paused, her mismatched green eyes glittering, "What do you think, love?" She murmured, leaning half an inch closer to him. Jareth grinned, "Number ten."

Silence prevailed around the small table for a moment. "Number ten? What would that be?" Sarah asked finally, tapping her lip with her hand and studying her husband closely.

Jareth made a show of straightening his coat sleeves and fluffing his hair before replying. "Removal of skin from bone in the shape of a dress, my precious." Sarah laughed at the idea and shook her head, turning her attention to Edward-o, who was either ignoring them, or hadn't noticed them. Considering Fay's ability to disappear from mortal – and vampire – eyes, the latter might be your best bet.

"I don't think his skin comes off the bone. He looks… fake." She frowned. "And sparkly."

Jareth eyed Edward-o closer, and then gasped. "By gods you're right! He does sparkle!" "He doesn't pull it off very well either, not like you, Jare." Sarah commented idly, bring forth an affronted expression from Jareth. "I don't sparkle. I glitter. There's a large difference between the two, Sarah-mine." He cleared his throat after this, making his lovely wife laugh again. He pouted now. Just because he loved her laugh didn't mean he liked it when she laughed at him…

Seeming to sense his discontent Sarah stood and moved around the table, plopping into his lap. "Alright, back to business, love." She murmured in his ear, "Removing his butt might prove interesting." Jareth snorted, his pout forgotten now. "If that's what you want, precious, then I'm only too willing to give it to you." He trailed a hand across her belly, making her suck in a breath. "Now now, Jare." She hissed, although Jareth was sure he heard a whispered "later" tacked on at the end of her sentence.

"As you wish." He grinned, standing up quickly and setting her on her feet, where she stood for a second to regain her balance before strolling off across the café, towards Edward-o and Isabelly's table.

It was only after she stood in front of the table for ten seconds without them noticing her did Sarah realize she forgot to "come back", or whatever you'd like to call it. Anyway, with that dealt with, she was rewarded with several gasps of surprise.

Leaning down so she was closer to Edward-o Sarah became aware of Jareth standing directly behind her and smirking. She always knew when he used that devilish smile, and it annoyed the crap outta her that he was using it on someone else.

Well, two could play at the share-the-smile game. She turned on her very sweetest smile for Edward-o and said, in gentle, mesmerizing tones, "Would you come with me, Edward-, Edward?" Oh, the author had wanted so badly to make her call him by her chosen name, but Sarah was stronger! Queen Sarah, the author means.

"I… uh…" Edward-o blinked rapidly for a second or so before sliding from his seat and standing beside her. "Thank you." She said, grinning, and wrapped her arm around his, hearing Jareth growl before she felt him [Jareth] slide his entire arm around her possessively.

Men. She thought with a roll of her eyes, before she stepped straight out of our world and into the next.

Exactly five months later.

The King kept a room of trophies. They came in all shapes and sizes, from large golden goblets awarded for valor, to small, stick like things the goblins gave him if they had a particularly good year.

His favorite, though, was the sparkly one he kept in a large glass case near the window, where it caught the light nicely. His wife told him he was disgusting for keeping it around, but he'd seen her laugh behind her hand when she thought he wasn't looking.

With a glass of sherry in one hand, he settled down in the window to overlook his labyrinth.

Before he even got a chance to take a sip and enjoy his latest victory over a pesky mortal boy who had wished away his almost-girlfriend, he heard Sarah scream a few rooms away. Instantly, he was beside her, and was surprised to find her glaring at him with deadly green eyes. "Precious?" He asked carefully, wondering if the couch was in his future again.

"YOU! YOU…" Sarah seemed at a loss of words for how to describe her anger, which was never a good sign. Anxiously, Jareth took a hold of her hands in his gloved ones and tried to calm her down, but she wouldn't have it…

A few minutes later, he learned why she was so very, very pissed off at him when she uttered four little words…

"YOU GOT ME PREGNANT!"

Ah, happiness is bliss.

- - -

So, did you enjoy it, mes lecteurs mauvais*?

*This should mean "my evil readers", but since I don't speak French I don't really know. The translator on my computer might very well be lying to me.