Author's Note: Sorry it took so long guys. I changed schools and have been on overload all week. But Im back and hopefully but no promises I'll update again this weekend. Thanks 4 reading lemme know what u think and any ideas u have for the story. R&R

Previously on a Twisted Twilight...

"YOU TOLD THEM DIDN'T YOU?! DIDN'T YOU?!"

"He told Rosalie, Bella, Carlisle, and Esme that I'm pregnant."

"Like Rosie Posy? Ooooh wanna play ring around the rosy?"

"ROSALIE'S PREGNANT?!"

"WHAT?!"

"God Edward you gave me a heart attack!"

"Guys I've done something horrible."

"Jasper, tell us at the hotel so I don't have to slam on the breaks again and ruin this wonderful car."

"FINALLY ITS 5 COME ON BELLA LET'S GO!!"

"Alright Jasper how did you screw up this time?"

"Well…ya see…funny story…heh…or not…depending on…how you…look at…things."

CHAPTER 19

BELLA'S POV

*flashback*

"Ugh! Spit it out already!" I demanded.

He took a deep breath. "I…" He clamped his eyes shut and bit his lip. "Joined the army."

*end flashback*

Jasper peeked out of one eye, Rosalie's eyebrows were scrunched up and her eyes were popping out of her head, Esme looked dead, and Carlisle sat hanging his head and pinching the bridge of his nose. I started laughing and everyone stared at me with complete confusion in their eyes.

"Well it's obvious he's just kidding right Jasper? I mean I did this to Charlie all the time. I'll come up with something totally horrible before I give him the real news and I don't get punished as bad." I said hopeful that I had found the truth.

Esme looked happier than I've ever seen her in my life. Her color returned and she gave me a HUGE bear hug. Carlisle looked grateful for my answer as his color returned as well. Then Rosalie was laughing saying she totally forgot about when we used to do that… Then there was Jasper. Jasper looked very guilty and sad.

Everyone turned and stared at him with questioning and threatening looks. I felt my hands clench into fists and was ready to hit as soon as he opened his mouth. Once again he took a deep breath and clamped his eyes shut. I sent a silent prayer up to heaven. 'God please give self control so as I will not rip this boy's head off.'

He opened his eyes "I wish what Bella just said was true. But it's not. I also wish I would've thought of that." As if there was anything worse than that. Seriously the pregnancy card is already being played, marriage would be a good thing, quitting school isn't an option since there isn't much left, and it's obvious no one thought they were going to college.

Esme's color drained again and her chair tipped over. We all jumped and screamed "Esme!" She was defiantly out cold. I was furious, Carlisle was frantic, Rosalie was sobbing, and Jasper looked worried and panicked.

"You moron you killed her! How does it feel to kill your own mother?!" I screamed and the whole place looked at me.

"Bella calm down she's not dead!" Carlisle said still frantic.

JASPER'S POV

I can't believe I may have possibly killed my mother. This really is that bad isn't it? The whole restaurant is starring at us now thanks to Bella.

"Jasper help me get her upstairs and then we're going to talk about this for a long long time." Carlisle said in his calm but dangerous tone.

We carried my mother up to our hotel room where she woke up about 5 minutes later. Not 3 seconds afterwards she started screaming at me.

"WELL WE KNOW SHE'S NOT DEAD!" Rosalie screamed above Esme. We all turned and looked at her. Was she stupid or something? I pretended to ignore her and continued to sit in silence before I got into anymore trouble. But there was no avoiding trouble today.

BAM BAM BAM!!! "POLICE OPEN UP!" A man shouted from behind the door. Ohhhh crap. Why me why always me? This is what the second time in 2 days that the cops have come after me?

Carlisle pinched the bridge of his nose again, Rosalie was puking her guts out in the bathroom, Esme was rolling her eyes and shaking her head, and Bella…well Bella didn't look surprised. In fact she just shrugged murmured something smart and then went and held back Rosalie's hair. Carlisle went to open the door but the police busted it open first hitting him in the head. Why am I not surprised?

There was a second gagging sound coming from the bathroom and the words "I'm sorry Rose but you know that I puke at the sight of puke." The officer obviously heard this and went straight to the bathroom.

He came out and started to speak but was cut off. "What's wrong with-" He took a look around the living room. My father was passed out by the door, my mother was shaking in hysterics, and my "sisters" are puking in the bathroom. He spoke again, "Aw jeez!" He grabbed is walkie talkie and spoke into it, "Frank we got about 5 crack heads at the Disney land resort hotel suite 1649 over."

There was a crackle and a voice "copy that Bob 3 teams on the way." Did I mention that my life sucks? The office spoke again this time to me, "What's your name son?" I answered immediately, "Jasper Cullen sir." His eyes widened and he grabbed his walkie talkie again, "Frank send back up I've got the Cullen boy!" Shit.

EDWARD'S POV

Emmett passed out so Alice and I went downstairs and watched TV. The house had some damage but we would deal with that later. Looks like we're going to have to replace the front door, the living room window, the staircase railing, the dishwasher, the stove, the coffee table, and that's just to name a few things. We turned on the TV and were watching America's Funniest Home Videos when it was interrupted by World News with Charles Gibson.

"We interrupt this programming to bring you breaking news." The anchor began. Alice and I glanced at each other. "The Disney land resort in California is being evacuated as we speak. It appears 5 crack heads and one of Washington's most feared have been found in suite 1649 of the resort hotel." Washington's most feared? Jasper is one of Washington's most…oh shit. "We're getting word now that their names are Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper Cullen, and Isabella, and Rosalie Swan. If you have any information or have a relation with any of these people please call California state police."

We stared in shock as the anchor continued the story ending by saying "You can see the whole story unfold on Sunday night's episode of COPS" Oh lord what do we do now? Should we call the California State police or wait and see if they call? Alice interrupted my train of thought.

"Your parents, your brother, your girlfriend, my boyfriend, and my sisters are all crack heads." She spoke an emotionless robotic tone and stayed staring at the TV.

"That pretty much explains it all." I said in the same emotionless robotic tone. "Maybe we should start our own reality show…we could call it 'Meet the Trouble Makers' and the summary would be like 'What do you get when you mix two families, two sets of triplets, neighbors, best friends, boyfriends and girlfriends, a single father, the chief of police, two pregnant couples, and crack? Well you get the Cullen's and the Swan's of course.' Now all we need is to be mutant like in that movie we saw." Alice starred at me and then smacked me in the back of the head before getting up and grabbing her purse, keys, and cell phone.