Author's Note: You reviewers out there, you rock my socks. You're the bee's knees. The cat's pajamas. Other time-inappropriate compliments. I love you. I would serenade you with a lovely song, but all I have is text. So, enjoy what I have to offer, lovely ones. Big hearts and a SQUEE for all of you!

"Sheldon, honey, why don't you tell me about this new project of yours?"

"I've been working on it for nine months, Mom. It's hardly new." He pushed himself away from the kitchen island, wanting dearly to have a piece of the dessert that was still warm, but uninterested. "Besides, you wouldn't understand. Maybe later, if you're having trouble falling asleep."

She shifted, looking a little uncomfortable, glancing at the door to the apartment as Leonard reentered, looking flustered but pleased. "Leonard! What's this paper my Shelley is working on?"

He glanced up, a slight frown coming over his face, and then grinned despite himself. "It's...not important, Mrs. Cooper. He'll get around to it when he gets around to it. But, if you want, I'll show you the experiments I've helped design based on his theories."

She, more trained than her son in the art of body language and subtle vocal tones, nodded and followed Leonard to the far corner of the apartment while Sheldon paced in front of his whiteboard. Reluctantly, he began to work on the right-hand side, trying and failing to ignore the equation he'd devised to sort through his thoughts concerning Penny. Right now, he gritted his teeth, she was all-consuming.

His mother's terrifying interrogation of him earlier was evidence enough he was completely submissive to her will. Penny had the same look about her when she wanted something. His fingers dug into the edge of his desk as he sat and tried to muster up the energy to open his laptop. Further examination of his bodily functions found his stomach in a slightly looser knot than usual, his heart at a steady rate, and his breathing fairly normal. A headache was starting to press between his eyes, but he ignored it and unclenched his fingers from his desk.

"Penny."

He looked around wildly as if he hadn't just said the words himself, and for a second, he was baffled. Then, remembering he'd said the word himself, he crushed his fingers into his wrist and noticed his heart rate had quickened. He was holding his breath. The lump in his stomach was heavier than chicken-fried steak. He didn't think he'd eat ever again. And, what was worse, the last page he'd had open on his browser loaded automatically and it reiterated his diagnosis.

Feelings. Very strong ones. For that infernal woman. He wanted to demand she move and leave him in peace, but even as the thought crossed his mind, he considered the fact he would likely waste away in her absence. The thought of her going anywhere for more than a few weeks made him feel...violent.

Thinking of Leonard and his mother whispering away in Leonard's bedroom snapped him from this dark place and he navigated away from the webpage that had automatically reopened when he clicked on his browser. Entering the research journal archives, he started going over some of his colleagues' work, hoping to be annoyed enough with their insufficient explanations to write a few paragraphs of his article.

Mary Cooper shut the door behind her and folded her arms. "That little, pretty thing across the hall—she put that mark on my boy's neck, didn't she?"

Leonard nodded, sitting on the edge of his unmade bed. He smiled carefully at her, linking his fingers. "Oddly enough, yes. She is, in many ways, his equal."

"Oh, honey, of course she is." Mary laughed, sitting beside Leonard softly. "A mother can tell from a mile away. She's a sweetheart—bullheaded, too. Everything Shelley's father would have wanted in a girl—she like football?"

"She's from Nebraska," Leonard replied dutifully.

Mary clapped her hands. "Oh, excellent! And he's actin' nuttier than a squirrel! I'll bet he just needs a good, hard shaking. He'll get it."

"While I agree he needs the shaking, I think the usual approach is safest. Slow and steady, like...hunting?"

Mary sniggered. "I suppose his pride is at stake. He's above all that. If I hadn't threatened to take away his stupid beakers and test tubes when he was little, I don't think he'd understand you have to love your family. I mostly forgot about telling him about people outside the family." She clucked her tongue at herself. "He never wanted to hear it!"

"Well, he's getting an education now," Leonard assured her, turning a little to the side and pursing his lips at Mary's unimpressed stare. "Penny loves your son. She doesn't like it, but she does."

"I knew I liked that girl!" Mary tittered, patting Leonard's knee excitedly. "She just has to be patient. Oh, Missy is going to have a fit when she finds out her twin is settling down before her!"

"I wouldn't rush it. Don't you think this might take...time?"

"I'll make sure it doesn't go on too long," promised Mary. "Now, you can't push Shelley, but you can funnel him into the right paths. He'll get sick of standing still before long and move forward. We just have to take away some of his escape routes."

Leonard balked. "We'd have to take away the entire known universe."

"I'll see if I can't talk to his boss about getting a sabbatical. Shelley won't like it, but he'll think it's time to reset his brain and get cracking on this stupid paper of his." She thought carefully. "If Penny can fake an interest in comic books and paintball..."

"She's already too good at 'Halo.' I don't think she knows enough about comic books yet, but Sheldon loves teaching her. He's attracted to the challenge, I think." Leonard smiled, tilting his head back. "You think he'll come around?"

"You do whatever you think is necessary to get Penny ready for the headache that's comin'." She stood up and smoothed her pants softly. "I'm going to orchestrate what y'all call a catalyst. When Mee-Maw asks why her favorite grandson hasn't settled down yet and tells him she's worried he's unhappy...well, that'll funnel him down a particular path. If you pull your end of the deal, I might have grandchildren this time next year."

The pressure was immense, and not necessarily what Leonard saw for Sheldon and Penny in the next year, but her help was too valuable to ignore. Nodding, he stood and they exited the room together, silent, listening to a noise coming from the kitchen. Upon approaching, Mary saw her son curled in his desk chair, feet on the seat, knees up to his chin, arms snug around his long, lanky legs. He rocked a little, the chair squeaking, and craned his neck around to glare at the two of them.

"What conspiracy is this? I'll have you both know I'm more than qualified to write my own research papers! I have a working knowledge of the entire universe!"

While Leonard made himself busy trying to convince his neurotic and paranoid (though it was hard to claim he was paranoid when he truly was being manipulated to some degree) roommate they had just lost track of the time when talking about bilinear forms in Leonard's room, Sheldon's mother examined her son's eyes from a distance, trying to imagine his children and the changes he was trying so hard to avoid.

"Remember when you moved to California, darlin'?" she asked, interrupting Leonard's most desperate attempt to soothe him.

Sheldon's chin snapped over in her direction and he nodded curtly, waiting for her to continue. "Of course, Mom."

"You wanted to go so badly, and you were still so scared. I wasn't sure you'd actually go through with it." She sighed, sitting in the armchair beside the couch, and put her chin in her hand. "But you wanted it, and you knew it'd make you happy. You could have taught in Texas. You could have done your research there and had a place close to home. No more church, no long commutes, none of the stuff you hated about being Galveston."

"Mom, the funding alone was a sufficient reason for me to relocate to Pasadena--"

She continued as if he weren't even in the room. "You wanted the change of scenery. You wanted the independence. You wanted to make new friends, real ones. I was so proud of you."

Leonard saw the spark of concern on his roommate's face and leaned closer, waiting for the moment Sheldon would say what he inevitably would, betraying him as a closeted softie.

"Was?" the poor boy squeaked.

Mary looked over at him, apologetic for the truth coming out like this. "Oh, Shelley, don't think I don't know you're brilliant, accomplished, all that jazz. It's just, mothers don't want their sons to grow up to be successful scientists. At least, that's not the only thing they want, okay? When Leonard here gets married and moves out, then what?"

Sheldon scowled. "That's hardly a cause for concern."

"I won't say anymore about it," she promised quietly, but gave him a watery smile.

***

Penny wanted to phone Leonard and demand he call the whole thing off—she was really starting to feel bad for Sheldon, who'd been jumpy and exhausted between trying to work and the forced sabbatical his mother had asked for. She had hardly been gone a day when Leonard's mother showed up for a visit. The Christmas party was in less than a week and Penny had all but begged for that Friday to be restored as a night for just the gang to hang out. Leonard agreed to keep it small, but refused to subject her to another night of video games and comic book discussion with four men with whom she shared limited knowledge.

What was worse, though, was how immensely pleased Sheldon had been when Beverly knocked on the apartment door and greeted him with an indifferent but lukewarm smile. He carried her bags into the apartment for her and started to ask how her most recent research had been treating her and she removed her glasses and cast a dismissive glance to Penny, who was standing voyeuristically by her apartment door, watching.

She wanted to beg for Beverly to leave him alone, but instead she retreated to her apartment to read through the last of the graphic novels Sheldon had leant her. Her focus shifted, thankfully, and she massaged her stomach, trying to get the knot to loosen.

Leonard's logic pervaded her even as she read through the most iconic of Batman's adventures. It was true, she realized, that if she'd known she'd feel this way with Sheldon Cooper, she wouldn't have bothered with Kurt, or any of the others. She would gladly ride out the storm until he came around. Even her sunny disposition had a hard time telling her she would someday arrive at a place where Sheldon would do more than let his physical impulses control him occasionally. He was, despite his protests, a man. He had urges, she knew that now. But nothing about evolution meant he had to accept an emotional bond with another person. He really could live out the rest of his days alone, a human island in a sea of peninsulas.

Later that night, Beverly left, her bags trailing behind her. She stopped just long enough to tell Penny she was going to Seattle for a conference in the morning and bid her a good night. Penny accepted the wish with a baffled glance at the apartment across the hall before knocking gently and opening the door a crack, Sheldon's priceless collectibles in hand.

"Sheldon?"

He looked over at her from the couch. "Hello, Penny."

"Can I come in? I have your books."

"Graphic novels," he corrected, and adjusted himself on the couch, scrunching closer to the armrest. "And yes, you may enter."

She slipped in, smiling despite herself, and sat in the space he'd just made for her on the couch, handing him the three thin, hardcover books. He glanced at the covers again with a nostalgic smile before putting them on the coffee table and looking back up at the television.

Penny waited a full minute before clearing her throat gently and murmuring, "Sweetie, do you want to...turn it on?"

"Hm?" He looked around, located the remote, and pressed the power button. "I suppose. What did you want to watch?"

Squinting suspiciously, she watched him troll through the channels to find something suitable to watch. "I don't care. What did you and Bev talk about? Did she even say anything to Leonard?"

"She came to stop for a cup of tea—I happen to make it to her exact specifications." He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "We talked about her research in the neurosciences."

"Firing synapses and all that junk?"

His eyes slid over to her though his head didn't move. He was glaring softly. "Crudely put, but yes. And she informed me she and her husband were getting a divorce. I think I'll have to let Leonard know when he gets back. Unless that's not the sort of thing I should relay to him."

"I doubt she'll tell him." Penny hid her sympathy, trying to figure out what exactly was going on with Sheldon, why he was even more masked than ever. "What else?"

He didn't tell her Beverly had enumerated the synapses of the brain that were triggered when the subject was 'in love.' How it was inexplicable, scientifically speaking—something he hated to think even existed—and how she had lost faith in researching such a thing. He had tried futilely to change the subject but she had insistently pursued the topic of something he considered to be akin to the pure hokum of paranormal activity.

"Anomalies of science," he replied instead of explaining all this to her. He could picture the map of his brain under the colored grids of the MRI machine, or the CAT scanner. He was a lovely tie-dye pattern, always thinking, but parts of his brain were tired from constant activity. With so little use over the past twenty-some years, it was no wonder these past few weeks had been hell.

Sensing he was still dissecting whatever it was Beverly had been describing to him, Penny widened her eyes to herself and pulled her legs up to her side, sitting on her hip gently, angled toward him. "So, I liked The Killing Joke the best. For obvious reasons."

"I never would have taken you for a Joker kind of girl," Sheldon commented dryly, glad to leave the topic of Leonard's mother at last. "I assume this means you were not a fan Year One, am I right?"

"No, they were all great." She hated herself a tiny bit, but she was getting animated, and excited she had something to engage him. She figured this was as close as it got, like when he humored her with her Penny Blossom project, or attempted to knit, or let her babble on about her job when it was uninteresting to the both of them.

Tugging on her shirt very gently, she looked at him as he settled on an old episode of "America's Next Top Model" she'd already seen. He muted it with a look of chagrin and faced her when she started to speak.

"The classics are the classics, I have to say, but I couldn't help but love the chemistry Harley Quinn had with the Joker. I mean, come on! It's so unapologetic—she doesn't justify herself to anyone but him, and he can't really love her or he wouldn't be the Puddin' she loves, and...and..." She saw a spark of something on his face—annoyance and intrigue. "I guess I liked The Killing Joke, but the closet maniac in me has to put Mad Love in a close second."

"Dr. Quinzel must be put in second place, Penny." Sheldon tilted himself toward her, lacing his fingers like he was preparing his lecture very carefully. "His relationship with Batman is the most complex and intriguing of any in the history comics."

Sensing him waiting for her input, she nodded and felt her palms itching, but refrained from smoothing her hands over his forearms, letting him know she wasn't going to ask him what the hell his problem was this time. So, she tried to find the Sheldon-y way of saying it, and gave what she figured was a concise book report on the matter.

She talked for what felt like hours, surprising even herself with all the things she was dredging up, recalling little snippets of conversations, even things Sheldon had been saying for years when arguing with Howard about the intriguing Dark Knight. Every time she glanced up, to make sure he wasn't bored to tears, he was staring at her like she was an amino acid he was trying to unravel. Rather than unnerving her, it spurred her on. She spoke until she'd told him every last thing that had crossed her mind since she opened that first glorified comic book and started reading. She even told him about her community college philosophy class, the one with the professor desperate to have his students understand moral ambiguity, and how somebody who might have been a dumber, much less science-oriented Sheldon, suggested Batman.

Fighting the urge to interject for as long as possible, Sheldon finally broke and they began to trade theories, though his smugness and history made Penny's bravado falter more than once. He started with his physics routine, she countered with his startling lack of knowledge concerning anything in the pop culture sphere. He tried to counter with his usual spiel about subatomic particles, only this time she snapped out an answer that wasn't so utterly ignorant he really had no complaints. On top of knowing just a little something, she threw on a small challenge herself, making an obscure, certainly not "current" music reference, which he caught. And informed her of.

He put the sound back on the TV even though he could have picked at her for another hour or so and Penny draped an afghan over her legs, still curled toward Sheldon. He pretended to watch for a while, about a minute, and then helplessly asked what qualifications the judges of the modeling show had, other than being photographed themselves for things over which they had no control.

"Be careful, bub. That's my bag. Hollywood."

"Well, at least your talent is something that can be studied. This appears to be about the things we are or not 'born with.' And learning how to look 'fierce,' whatever that is."

Penny smirked, then cleared her throat, positioning her shoulders as Sheldon looked over at her, his eyebrow quirked. She put on her best Tyra-face and held it for a few seconds before giggling, tearing her eyes from Sheldon's utterly lost expression.

She couldn't help her inner nature, and Sheldon basically accepted what that was. The thought that Sheldon was the only one who simply accepted her, even though she baffled him and he had an idea of what every person in the world ought to be like...it made her feel both warm and electric, like she was about to throw her arms out wide and try to hug the world, like she used to when she was just a little girl.

Instead she leaned and kissed Sheldon's cheek, shaking her head as she moved her center of gravity back over her own hips and took the remote from his limp hand. She fished around on their menu for a while until she found a marathon on the Discovery Channel she thought he might enjoy and settled on that. Sheldon was able to reign in his desire to tell her she'd done well and find a way to reward her. He simply heaved a contented sigh and tried to focus on the on-air 'mythbusting.'

He didn't have to stare, unblinking, at the screen for long before Howard and Raj let themselves in. They were arguing in hushed tones already, and seemed a little surprised to see Penny curled on her hip, sitting next to Sheldon, who was oddly rigid, even for him.

"Hello," Howard dragged out the last syllable, smiling broadly at Penny as she craned her neck around. "Enjoying a little Savage-time, I see. If that one chick weren't so hot, though, I cant say I'd even watch the show."

A surge of affection drowned Penny for a moment and she hugged her arms to her chest, grinning at still-mute Raj, and Howard, who was lusting shamelessly after the female experimenter on the television. "Hey, Howard. What's up? Where's Leonard?"

Raj shrugged, being as expressive as he could as he sat beside Penny and started to twiddle his thumbs. Howard, helping himself to a bottle of water, made a noise like he couldn't remember where he'd last seen Leonard, who had made himself quite scarce lately. Penny was sure it was due to some intense scheming, though what he could orchestrate to even put Sheldon in a position where he would have to 'sink or swim' was a mystery.

"So, remind me what's on the schedule tonight." Howard sat on the arm of the armchair beside Sheldon and smiled, slouching easily as impatience flitted over Sheldon's serene features, disrupting them.

He opened his mouth to reply when his eyes flickered over to the clock, and then his watch, and then his forehead crinkled and he stood up, nearly upsetting the coffee table and all the graphic novels. Penny thought carefully, realized tonight was Sunday, and that she usually worked on Sundays and had only hazy memories of their usual exploits. She knew they had been forced to abandon paintball plans due to Leonard's mother's visit, but Sheldon had figured this was going to happen when she'd first appeared and it hadn't upset him too terribly much.

She assumed tonight was a calm, no-nonsense night of television, take-out, and chess. Why he would suddenly stand and march over to the refrigerator, doing a poor job of looking like he'd nearly forgotten something but managed to save the day, bewildered her. Pretending very hard to watch the TV and not Sheldon pacing slowly back and forth in the kitchen, Penny felt Raj tap her arm softly, as if afraid of rebuke already.

She looked at him silently and he leaned a little, clearing his throat very softly before whispering, "I think he forgot what day it is."

She almost squeaked out in shock over the two simultaneous events. If Raj, who'd just spoken a coherent, multi-word sentence to her without alcohol (that she knew of), was telling the truth, it would mean Sheldon had let his routine get away from him. Between that morning when he'd deliberately filled his time he should have been playing paintball with getting a head-start on his taxes, and this moment, he'd forgotten the day.

When she regained a bit more of her senses, she looked at Raj, still startled. "Raj!"

His face was drawn, she imagined he might be blushing, or trying very hard not to, and he shrugged. "No offense, but you lose an element of that attractive mystique when you...you know."

"Tonight," Sheldon finally announced, looking relieved in the kitchen, his elbows on the counter as he bent over a cup of water he was about to heat up for tea, "is re-run night."

Penny looked away from Sheldon at Raj with a bit of a scowl. "Because I'm not unnecessarily mean to the big goof?"

Raj swallowed, thinking he was better off silent, and shrugged, facing the television as Sheldon returned, a strange sway in his walk, the one he put on when he was taking his time, letting his people worship him for having so much of the known universe figured out. The one that said he knew people were hopeless without him. Penny wanted to roll her eyes, but she couldn't this time.

"Oh, hey, who's been re-reading these?" Howard tenderly picked up one of the graphic novels, treating it like an old friend. "Ah, what beautiful times..."

Even though she'd just opened her mouth to answer, Sheldon swiveled as he took his seat beside her and started to speak. "Penny has decided it's time for her to appreciate the DC Universe, and she's doing so properly."

"Proper would be starting with the first issue, wouldn't it?" Raj asked, folding his arms a little tighter to his body.

Sheldon stared a moment, quirked his eyebrow, and then commented, "Interesting."

It was a typical night. Any minute now, Leonard would come bustling in with styrofoam containers, Sheldon would ask if he'd gotten all the right condiments, and Penny would volunteer to get the mustard, or the barbeque sauce, or whatever it was he'd forgotten. She'd hardly get the door shut before Howard would make an off-color comment about her ass, and Sheldon would complain his food would be cold by the time she returned from the market.

While Penny knew with all her being she had to take things slowly, she didn't want tonight to be normal. She was sitting next to the man she loved and he was no wiser. She wanted to announce it, much like she had announced to the boys she'd kissed their eclectic friend, but it didn't seem right. So she settled for somewhat-subtle, sidling up closer to Sheldon and leaning against his arm while he listened to Raj mumbling this and that, sneaking nervous glances at Penny, who was thankfully not listening to him at all.

Her arm against his was branding him, marking him like a steer brand new to the farm. While not altogether unpleasant, it was strange. The odd, growling beast inside him that usually surfaced when she touched him was calm, though still extremely volatile. At any moment, he could tell he could lose control, much like he had in the laundry room, and make a fool of himself in front of two of the only people in the world who voluntarily spent time with him.

Howard and Sheldon started bickering about their personal Top 10 Batman graphic novels, and Penny tried not to listen, but she couldn't help herself. They quickly shut her up by pointing out she'd only read five or six of the hundreds available and she pouted only slightly, her arms folded, Sheldon inching closer to her in his excitement, arguing with Wolowitz.

She looked at the door to the apartment, gratitude in her eyes as Leonard arrived to save the day. He smiled a little and lifted the bag from the Indian restaurant, looking at Raj questioningly when he quietly interjected with his own personal list of favorites.

Rising to help him unpack their meals, Penny pressed her lips together, shrugging. "Apparently he's okay one-on-one with women he doesn't find attractive."

Leonard laughed gently. "We've been putting up with him for years. I suppose you can't blame him for finding it unsettling, can you?"

"You have to admit, though...it's pretty cute he isn't a natural at the whole good-friend routine. But, he tries! I happen to know he attempts to comfort you guys when he knows you're having a rough time."

"Key words being 'attempts' and 'knows.' If he figures out I'm not having the best day, which is rare enough, he'll try to do something about it, but it's usually not that effective." Leonard blinked twice at the extra bag of groceries. "I forgot to get Diet Coke."

"I'll get it. And egg nog, if you want."

"I'm lactose intolerant, Penny!"

"Not for you, obviously." She gave him her best innocent grin. "Unless you want me to save that kind of yuletide joy for the party."

"I'd say yes for sure if Raj were over there, desperate to join in the conversation. But, with you relegated to basically sister-status, it's all on you. If you want to, go ahead. Nobody's stopping you. And thanks for offering to get the soda."

Sighing lightly, she put the plastic cutlery down, knowing most everyone was going to use regular utensils anyway, and started across the apartment to get her car keys.

"Penny?" Sheldon stood and followed her to the door. She turned, waving her arms at him, not wanting to interrupt their most recent argument on the limits of Batman's superhuman strength.

"Where are you going?" he inquired as she stopped at her own apartment door and waited for him to ignore her. "Dinner just arrived and you—unless!" He looked over his shoulder meaningfully and stepped into the hall, collecting his hands behind his back. "Leonard forgot something."

"Yep," she replied, wagging her eyebrows. "Wanna tag along, Sheldon?"

She invited him more out of friendly habit than genuine intrigue. She started to turn to continue in her apartment, watching him shake his head to the negative, and then he surprised both of them and muttered, "Yes."

They both looked surprised. Penny paused, and then cautiously opened her door a crack. "Go...get your jacket, I guess. It's cold out. We won't have time to stop at the comic book store, or Pottery Barn, or anywhere else, just so you know."

Sheldon tightened his hands, already regretting it, but he absolutely wanted to accompany her. "I know. Our food would be too cold to enjoy anyway. I'll get my jacket. You'll need time to change—I'm assuming you're not running out in those 'Hello Kitty' pajama bottoms this time of year."

"Yeah, I guess I should." She wanted the painful awkwardness to disappear.

But Sheldon, in his inability to recognize the odd tension, effortlessly dissolved the situation. "Can we avoid Euclid Avenue tonight?"

"We're headed in the other direction—the Diet Coke is on sale there." She waved at him again. "Go! Your dinner's going to need to thaw if we wait much longer."

"That's highly unlikely considering—" he stopped short when she shut her door loudly and rolled her eyes. Ducking back inside, he swiftly skittered to his room, shrugged on his coat, and found his wallet, sliding it into his pocket out of habit. He wanted dearly to pack his messenger bag, but he couldn't imagine what he'd need at the store from his bag, what could possibly fit in there. So, instead, he checked the slots in his wallet, made sure the cards were arranged alphabetically, and exited his room, his hand locked on the doorknob.

Leonard frowned and looked pointedly at the steam rising out of Raj's open container of Indian food. "Sheldon, where are you going? And don't say the comic book store again!"

"I'm accompanying Penny to the market. We'll be back soon."

Howard lifted his eyebrows. "Slow down, cowboy."

"Not likely considering how Penny drives." Sheldon snorted and started for the door, but Howard didn't let it go. He spun, watching Sheldon's retreating frame, and shook his head.

"No, man, c'mon! Why don't you just ask her out on a real date or something?"

Leonard covered his face and Raj stuffed his face with curry and rice, hoping his expression wouldn't give him away while Sheldon turned a funny reddish-pink color and flexed his fingers, face twitching wildly.

Howard rolled his eyes dramatically. "Oh, right, because lone wolf Sheldon Cooper doesn't need the warmth of human companionship. You do know being in the company of lesser beings isn't going to drag you down, right? It'll pull the poor saps up, whether or not they want to be." He slouched, but immediately straightened up again. "Oh, and if we do happen to drag you down, I think you'd be a little happier, buddy. So just...go the store with Penny and pretend it's her check engine light worrying you or whatever you tell yourself. Remember we all saw what she did to your neck."

"Even your mother saw," Leonard added, shrugging apologetically when Sheldon shot him a betrayed look.

He wanted to tell them the purpose of a date was to get to know another person, and he got to know Penny best when he did laundry with her, when she pulled her mask of sweet, unassuming Midwesterner off and revealed her inner huntress. Their verbal spars betrayed her true intelligence, her open warmth revealed her naivete and willingness to trust. He knew of the two of them, he presented the greater challenge in really 'getting to know,' and yet she had certain parts of him figured out to the letter. She never messed up his food orders anymore. She had learned about physics, pretending it was for his benefit, but really out of a mild but flattering personal interest. Somehow she made him remember the natural urge to pursue the pleasurable things in life, embraced his many hobbies and habits. He knew more about her than he'd ever admit, though usually he enjoyed flaunting his knowledge to anyone who'd listen.

Penny opened the door a crack and leaned in. "Sheldon? You change your mind?"

"I..." He glowered at Howard and Leonard a moment, lumping one in with Raj for good measure before turning and opening the door to let himself out. "No, let's go."

In the car, he buckled himself securely, waited until she'd started the car, and then looked out the window curiously at the putt-putt golf course she'd taken him to, however grudgingly, when she'd been forced to drive him to work when Leonard was unable.

"Penny!" he remembered suddenly, sitting up a little more, checking for traffic for her as she waited at the exit of the parking lot for cars to pass. "When you agreed to the compromise, you said I owed you a dinner out. When does that condition expire?"

"What?" She looked at him distractedly before shaking her head. "Oh, Honey, it's fine, trust me. I was annoyed at the time, and a little strapped for cash. Don't take it seriously. You and Leonard have paid for my take-out at least a dozen times."

"I've never personally paid for it," he argued back. "Leonard, in his never-ending desire to gain constant access to sexual..." He stopped short, remembering Leonard's rules. "Sex," he corrected himself at last, "he was always the one who paid, even though he never took proper credit for it."

Penny shook her head, actually irritated with him, and turned a little too sharply, considering an alternative route including Euclid Avenue. "Turns out it was an ending quest, Sheldon."

"If you were to offer him sexual gratification right this moment, Penny--"

"First of all, I don't want to talk about this with you right now, and second, I wouldn't offer something like that to him right now."

Sheldon looked at her pointedly. "There's someone else?"

"You care?" she retorted bitingly.

He buttoned his lip, hating how easily he could destroy a perfectly good opportunity to snoop in her effortless social interactions. Sensing she actually wanted an answer, he cleared his throat as quietly as possible and answered, "No. You know my affinity for small-talk is nonexistent."

Nodding, Penny took a deep breath, trying not to find him insufferable all the sudden, and find his ulterior motive. Simple curiosity didn't seem enough of a reason, but she could find nothing else. Ignoring his squirming in the other seat, she tried to focus on all the nice things he seemed to be doing for her lately, purposefully or inadvertently.

"Sometimes, Sheldon, I think you should just...I dunno, not ask the questions. I wouldn't...I wouldn't have let you kiss me, or kissed you back if I was going to sleep with Leonard or had a date, or any of that." She looked at him pointedly. "It's social protocol. At least, it's good social protocol. While I may be a terrible flirt sometimes, I've been cheated on enough to know it's not a good feeling when someone leads you on."

"Leads you on," Sheldon repeated, sounding interested despite his impassive stare. "What were you doing with Leonard?"

"Giving him a chance," she tightened her hands on the wheel, gritting her teeth. "There's a difference. I'll explain it to you another time, when I'm not tempted to set off your airbag just to hear it hit your face."

He made a high-pitched noise of confusion and irritation, facing her in his seat. "Now, hold on! I'm confused."

"Honey, I know a lot of things confuse you. Just...not right now."

"Fine, fair enough." He smoothed his palms against his pants, swallowing. "Colas are good for stomach pains."

"You have stomach pains?" Penny couldn't keep the note of terror from her voice, hoping he wasn't getting sick.

Nodding glumly, Sheldon slouched in his seat and looked out the window as she made the final turn. "Don't worry. I don't have a fever or any other worrisome symptoms. It appears the pain is primarily psychological in origin."

Throwing the car into park, Penny sighed and reached, smoothing his hair even though it never needed her attention. "Could it be guilt, Dr. Cooper? Are you starting to figure out you shouldn't feel apathetic when you upset your friends?"

"Not my friends, you," he accused, sounding annoyed with himself. "But, like you said, later. Let's grab whatever else it is Leonard's forgotten and get back before the food is unsalvageable."

"Hey, wait." She called to him as she manually locked her door. "Sheldon, wait!"

He looked back at her and put his hands in his pockets, waiting as patiently as he could while she darted around and manually locked his door. She gathered her coat tightly around her waist and walked over to him, sliding her arms in the space between his arms and his sides, a perfect hole left to fill since his hands were stuck in his pockets, his elbowed bowed. She hugged him gently, wishing he could understand her through osmosis so she wouldn't have to find any words. Closing her eyes, she squeezed him until he released the breath he held and removed his hands from his pockets, patting her on the back gently.

"Penny, dinner...it'll be cold."

"No matter how long it takes for us to get back, it'll be cold. So just hug me, Sheldon. Please."

"All right," he rearranged his arms and lowered his chin to her head. "Tell me if I'm doing it right."

A shiver totally unrelated to the chilly December air raced through her and she tilted her head back, watching him redirect his stare. She allowed a beat to pass between them before sliding to the tips of her toes, her arm slithering around his neck, pulling him down. Sheldon, acting like a pro, closed his eyes slowly and leaned down, opening his mouth just a little, surprised at the warmth of the kiss in the frigid, dry air. Unlike their previous encounters, there was no strangling sensation, no worry he would end up dizzy, gasping for breath, her knees locked at his hips, hugging him impossibly tight. This was, Penny realized only a moment later, pure affection. Two people who cared about each other.

And suddenly it didn't matter if he realized how he felt today, or tomorrow, or ever. She didn't even care if she fully understood what he was feeling, nor did she care if he fully understood it. Because this moment...was sublime.

In the distance, a woman sighed and the man holding her hand pulled her forward, bewildered by her hopeless romanticism.

Penny pulled away just a fraction of an inch to breathe and Sheldon pulled her close. The next kiss was short, sweet. She put her face in his neck, hiding in the length and warmth there, feeling almost too comfortable. It would be tempting to let him come to terms with the emotions of this entire ordeal on his own, but she had made a sort of promise to herself. When she'd told him he had to take her out to dinner, that he had to make concessions, she'd promised herself to inch him out of his hidey-hole, bit by bit. At the time, it had been because he was in dire need for help. Now it was because the hero always peeked, and Sheldon had made himself the hero despite his endless pursuit of objective, scientific discovery.

He knew he was already holding her painfully close, but he squeezed just a little tighter and tried to get the sick, coiled feeling in the pit of his stomach to ebb away, but it only got worse. They broke apart and he reached a little, as if to take Penny's hand, but she started walking without glancing back, her face glowing, utterly ignorant to everything around her. He followed pitifully, almost picking another fight with her, just to hear the edge come back to her voice. But he found some fountain of self-control and silenced himself.

He shook his head to himself while Penny perused the bottled wine and egg nog selection, a package of bottled Diet Coke under her arm, picturing his mother's face if she knew he had tried to hold Penny's hand, that he had just let her kiss him again, that he was seriously considering accepting the hypothesis that he, Sheldon Cooper, PhD., was considering a life-changing paradigm of epic proportions.

He excused himself when his cell phone rang, peeking at the display. Penny saw an unabashed smile cross his face as he walked over to the benches by the exit while she loaded her items onto the counter by the clerk. She kept one ear out for his voice, hearing him as if they were the only two in the store.

"Hi, Mee-Maw!"

She nearly dropped the twenty dollar bill she held out to the clerk, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was Leonard's doing and that she was going to be pushed farther away before she could get close again.