Spongebob burst out of his pineapple wearing a blue and green football jersey and sweatpants. It was the day of the tryouts and he was ready! He growled menacingly a few times to prepare himself, and then headed off down the road toward Bikini Bottom Sports Coliseum. A few moments later, Patrick climbed out of his rock, sprouting the same Bikini Bottom Torpedoes practice jersey and began walking silently toward the stadium. A few minutes after that, Squidward emerged from his Easter Island Head wearing a pair of sports shades, the practice Jersey, sweats, and a Bikini Bottom Torpedoes hat. He too walked toward the stadium, his head in the clouds.
At the stadium, hundreds of fish from Bikini Bottom lined up on the football field to tryout for the team. They were all doing various stretches and warm-ups waiting for the instructor to get out of the locker room. All of a sudden, Sandy walked in and stood next to Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward.
"Sandy! You decided to try out for the football team?" Spongebob asked surprised. "But Squidward said football was for civilized men, not 8-year old girls!"
The same little girl from before left the stadium without a word.
"Sure I am Spongebob!" Sandy answered. "I'm tougher than most of the men here!"
"Sandy, for once I'm actually glad to see you. At least there's someone else here with intelligence, and not just brute strength!" Squidward said.
"Same to you Squidward! What position are you trying out for?"
"I'm planning on being a receiver. With my adhesive suction cups, it's almost impossible for me to drop a pass!" he said, demonstrating the adhesiveness by sticking his fins together.
"Cool, I'm going to be a quarterback myself, my arm's in good condition from karate!" Sandy said. Just as Squidward was nodding his approval, the coach came out of the locker room. He was a rather portly orange fish wearing a green and blue polo shirt and a Torpedoes cap.
"Are you girls warmed up yet?" he asked in a raspy voice. "Give me a lap around the field!" he shouted, blowing his whistle. The fish grumbled and then began to run the perimeter of the field. Sandy was at the very front, and jogging backwards! Spongebob was at the very back, behind even Patrick! As the fish finished, several were panting heavily, especially Spongebob. Sandy wasn't breaking a sweat.
"That was pitiful! Do it again!" yelled the coach. The players did it again with nearly the exact same results.
"That's a little better." The coach grumbled. "Now, break into positions! Receivers and backs with coach Peterson, Quarterbacks with me, and linemen with coach Smith, go!" he yelled, gesturing to the coaches as he called them by name. Squidward and Patrick went with the backs while Sandy and Spongebob went with the Quarterbacks. Around 25 fish went with the quarterback group.
"I just want to see your best stuff." The coach said. "I know you will perform differently in full pads, but we will decide on who will make the team today. We will cut at least 50 players today, and we'll only have 3 Quarterbacks. All of you still think you can be one of those 3?"
No fish backed out.
"Ok then, first things first. I want to see how far each of you can throw, but if you throw inaccurately here I'll tell you right now that you will not be on this team! Ok, who wants to go first?"
Sandy was the only one besides Spongebob who raised their hand.
"OK, you 2 will be first!" spat the coach, handing each a football. You go first." The coah gestured to Sandy.
Sandy dropped back as if she were taking a snap, and chucked the ball the length of the field and more, and right on the money with accuracy. Everyone was amazed.
"If you perform that well the rest of the day, you'll be our starter." The coach sputtered. "Ok, show me your stuff." The coach gestured to Spongebob. Spongebob tried to imitate Sandy's drop back, but failed miserably. Then he threw the ball forward, and it went about 5 yards. The rest of the players broke out laughing.
"At least he was accurate!" one yelled. Spongebob bowed his head in sadness. Sadly, nearly the entire tryouts went like this for Spongebob. The groups practiced for a few hours, and then met back in the center.
"Ok, you all did great today, and we have some decent athletes here, but unfortunately, we have to cut at least half of you. I'll read off the positions of the projected starters first, and then of those who made the team, but haven't yet shown us what we need to see. I'd like to start off with our starting Quarterback. This is the only position in which we know for sure who will start, and I'll give all of you a hint, it starts with an 'S'" the coach said. Spongebob began to get excited. He thought the coach must have seen his potential. Several hopefuls sadly stood and left the dome. Their names started with other letters, apparently.
"The starting Quarterback will be Sandy Cheeks!" the coach said. Sandy and Spongebob both stood up.
"Well thank you but-" Spongebob started before realizing he hadn't made it. He sat down embarrassed.
"Oh don't worry, we'll give you a spot too!" the coach said to Spongebob. Spongebob stood up again.
"Head Cheerleader!" the coach spat, causing a roar of laughter to come up from the rest of the players. Spongebob bowed his head yet again, and sat back down.
"No, but you can be the mascot if you want to." The coach shrugged, holding in another fit of laughter. Spongebob accepted it sadly. The coach read off the rest of the names, and both Patrick and Squidward made the starting squad, Squidward as a receiver and Patrick as a Half Back.