*** Sorry, a little short, but a good luck into Elle's head.

Will cupped my chin and kissed me. I was on the verge of tears, it seemed too much had happened in this one perfect, little day.

Ok, so not "on the verge", I was totally crying right now. I was disappointed in myself. I'd always silently vowed to not be like the girl in movies who cry when they get popped the question.

"Do you want to see it, Elle?" Will asked when he let go of me, nodding toward the ring box. I nodded back, not quite able to talk just yet.

Will handed me the box, opened and I looked down at the ring.

The round diamond was surrounded by very small black pearls, set intricately in silver lotus petals, on top of a simple silver band. It was beautiful.

Will sat down on the bed and glanced up at me, he seemed serene.

"It was my grandmother's. My grandfather was stationed in Manila during his time in the Navy, it was one of the only things he brought back with him after his tour there."

"Oh." I said very quietly. Was this seriously happening, was I engaged at 17?

And then…

It hit me.

What the Hell were you thinking Harrison? Really? Moving to go to school in England? Engaged to be married, when so-called "school" ends?

You are not that girl!

My voice inside was telling me.

And I knew deep inside of me it was right. I wasn't that girl, and I wasn't even sure I had what it takes to be that girl. Sure I could talk the talk, but would I walk the walk or in this case an aisle? Was I willing to give up any dreams I'd had of my own for this one guy.

I looked at Will.

It seemed clear enough that he was willing to give them up for me and everyone else. Any other idea he might have had about his life had been sacrificed for the Order, and ultimately the fate of humankind. Or at least that's Mr. Morton has said over and over these last two weeks.

Will was sacrificing everything. And all he wanted in return was me. That was it. Not Lance or Jennifer, or even his own mother. Me. Compared to the huge things he was giving up, I was giving up only really one, small thing. Small, but not less important by any means.

I really needed some more time. There wasn't very much to spare, but I needed all I could get right now.

"Can I think about some things, for awhile? On my own?" I asked Will. Not that I really needed his permission but it was the right thing to do. He looked at me sadly, as if he had heard every word I'd thought, and nodded.

I walked down the attic stairs, through the hallway, and to my room. Not even really paying attnetion to what I was putting on, I changed into my pajamas and climbed into bed. I could hear my parents and Geoff laughing downstairs and I wondered when they would get to the hard part. The part where they tell Geoff that my boyfriend is supposedly the reincarnation of King Arthur. Somehow I couldn't begin to picture his reaction. Ecstatic or weirded out?

I was inclined to think a little of both.

I watched my fan spinning lazily above me. Circle after circle. A little like my thoughts at the moment. I need to get out of this room, this house.

I got up and went to grab my recently acquired car keys. I was halfway out my door when I remembered something I had at the very back of my closet. Stored away until the next warm months.

My raft.

Something I desperately wanted at the moment. It reminded me of less complicated days.

I dropped my keys on the ground and practically ran to the closet. I found it within seconds.

There it was standing at attention.

I grabbed it and hugged it to my chest.

I got downstairs when I realized that 9:45 at night was a really strange time to be rafting, at least that would be my parents' opinions. But there really was no point in trying to hide a six-foot long neon green was there?

I was headed for the screen door when I passed my parents in the kitchen clutching mugs of coffee and talking rapidly to Geoff. Maybe I would go unnoticed. Or not.

"Ellie?" My mother asked worried. I wasn't sure if she was more scared I was starting my rafting habits again or that I was about to go rafting at night.

"Yes?"

"You're going rafting?" She asked questioningly her eyebrows raised.

"Yes." I told her loud and clear with a nod.

Something in my tone must've convinced her I needed to be left alone.

"Ok." She said softly. I could feel her eyes on me as I walked out the door.

I hopped down the patio steps and walked to the edge of the pool. Not bothering to go to the steps.

I removed my socked feet from my slippers and placed the raft in the water.

Then I was floating.