The Ultimate Alliance of Authors Episode 4 What's With Movies Today?
The Ultimate Alliance of Authors made it back to their base after battling Jealousy Inferno, The White Hot Hater, to rest and recover when lulamaemobster had a thought as he watched the television.
"Hey, do you any of you guys know what the fuck that movie "Avatar" is about?"
"The Last Airbender?" ravercozy asked.
"I didn't see anyone with an arrow in on their head," Kage Bijuu said.
"It's not about the cartoon," lulamaemobster said. "I know that much."
"Well, shit," Morristofoxes said. "I have no clue on earth."
"That's the problem with movies nowadays," Uzumakie said.
"What?" they asked.
"There's no story to these movie, just massive CGI."
"Yeah," Adngo 417 said. "They didn't even tell us what the story's about in the commercial, they just flash us the greatest CGI ever and expect us to come dish out money to see it."
"I, for one, am sick of it," Blame Truth said. "I want substance, not style."
"Yeah, give me a good story and I'm hooked," lulamaemobster said. "To hell with CGI and all that other stuff. The Dark Knight is a great movie and the only CGI they really used was Two Face's, uh, face."
"That was CGI?" asked Adngo417.
"Yeah, it was good use of it too. Less was more in this case," lulamaemobster said.
"Did you guys here that they were making a remake of The Crow?" asked Chewie Cookies, the newest member of The Ultimate Alliance of Authors.
"Yeah, I heard," lulamaemobster said. "The director of the first movie wasn't happy, he said that it'd be disrespectful to Brandon Lee."
"I guess," ravercozy said. "What they should've done was just make a sequel that didn't suck like the other three."
"They were alright," Morristofoxes said. "You know what I'm tired of?"
"What?" they asked.
"Twilight."
"Fuckin' right!" lulamaemobster said. "I haven't even seen the damn movies and I'm kinda tired of seen them. Y'all ever notice how Kristen Whatever The Fuck Her Name Is always looks high?"
"As a fuckin' kite," Kage Bijuu said. "Bring back Lindsay Lohan."
"Yeah," Uzumakie added. "I'd rather have my lead actress actually high than just looking high."
"Yeah, they're really fake mixin' with that," lulamaemobster said. "On the subject of Lindsay Lohan, I liked her better when she had that weight on her. She was thick."
"What I'm tired of is since Twilight came out," ravercozy said. "Vampires are all emotional and shit."
"I miss the days where vampires just bit the shit outta people and called it a night," lulamaemobster said. "Although I can't get enough of True Blood."
At that moment, their rest was interrupted by the alarm.
"Emergency! Emergency!" the computer said over the P.A. "The base is under attack!"
They rushed outside to find her was attacking them.
"Fuckin' Slime Women," Kage Bijuu said.
I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS
Naruto Rescued.
All four of the combatant readied themselves for their final attacks.
"You're going down, bitch," Sakura said.
"Bring it," replied Metaru.
They charged each other and leapt into the air throwing the strongest punch either of them could muster, they connected and the shockwave from the sound leveled the surrounding trees around them with only one girls standing.
"Brutal," Metaru said as she looked down at Sakura.
Meanwhile, Hinata and Punku were ready to end their skirmish.
"It's over," Hinata said.
"For you maybe," Punku said with a sneer.
They charged each other like Sakura and Metaru had but instead of attacking, Punku slide underneath Hinata confusing her. When Hinata turned around, Punku jumped into the air and grabbed her head driving it into the ground and knocking her out.
"I rule," she said triumphantly.
Elsewhere, Ten gearing up for a battle with Rappu as she took out her sword.
"Just who the hell do you whores think you are?"
Rappu created a clone that started beatboxing as she began to rap.
My name's Rappu
And I'm the best
And I made Naruto
Suck my breasts
Eh op eh op
Eh op eh op
Eh op eh op
Eh op eh op
Ip ip
Ip
"I'm gonna fuckin' kill you," Ten said after hearing what she did to Naruto.
"Free Style: Battle Jutsu!"
Ten noticed a change in Rappu's body.
"Her muscles seem a bit leaner," Ten thought.
"My speed's increased," Rappu said.
"What?" Ten asked.
"I see you noticed the affect this jutsu has on my body, I'm faster and more agile."
"So, I'll just beat you faster," Ten said.
With that, they sped towards each other while Ino was facing off with Jazi.
"Hey, it's cool, man," Jazi said. "You guys need to relax."
"We'll relax when we get Naruto home," Ino said as she attacked Jazi.
Jazi style of combat was confusing as she never dodged an attack, she merely rolled with the punches calmly making them all glancing blows a best. Seeing those things were going nowhere fast, Ino backed off and decided to take a different tactic.
"Mind Transfer Jutsu!"
Ten and Rappu were clashing swords with Rappu's speed and agility were matched by Ten's skill and technique, there were slash marks in the trees that weren't cut down from their display. Sparks began to fly and the forest began to burn around them. They paid it no attention as their focus was on each other and the task at hand, Ino entered Jazi's mind but was quickly forced out.
"Uh-uh," Jazi said with a smile. "My mind's too cool for you, fool."
"We'll see how cool you are when you're on you ass," Ino said.
"Yeah, keep thinking that. Jazz Style: Bass Jutsu!"
The sound of Jazi's voice resonated and shook the ground beneath them, causing Ino to lose her footing. She struggled to stay on her feet while simultaneously defending against Jazi's attacks.
As they faced off, Ino was trying to figure out how to overcome Jazi's defense.
"I have to land something solid," Ino thought. "Or maybe I don't."
Ten and Rappu were still going at it, as they fire surrounded them, they had to dodge both each other's attack without being burned. The nicks and burns on their bodies were evidence of how difficult it was becoming to do both.
"Shit," Ten thought. "I've gotta end this."
"This can't go on much longer," Rappu thought.
They rushed toward each other with their swords at the ready, they slashed at each other and one of them fell.
"That's some ol' bullshit," Rappu said as she fell to the ground.
Ten left her in the fire in search of one of her allies, Ino was putting her plan of defeating Jazi into action as she dug into her ninja pouch with both hand.
"Damn," Ino said loud enough for Rappu to hear. "I don't have any tools left, they all fell out during that earthquake."
"That's too bad for you," Jazi said. "Bass Jutsu!"
The ground began to shake once again and Jazi attacked her once again, Ino was defending the best she could. In trying to fight and keep her balance, Ino ended up scratching Jazi on her arm. Jazi kept on fighting until her body locked up on her.
"What's happening to me?" she struggled to say through her paralysis.
Ino just smiled as she got back to her feet.
"That was some Ninja Wolf's Bane extract I scratched you with, you don't have long, you laid back bitch."
Ino leaves to find Naruto and the others as Karin with Naruto behind her, faced off with Arinbi.
"It'll be okay, Naruto," Karin said.
"Actually, she's okay," he said to Karin's surprise. "She was actually kind to me."
"She was?"
"Yeah, she convinced them to give me a break from time to time at least."
"Well, she was always the nice one," Karin said.
"I'd rather not fight you, Karin," Arinbi said. "After all, you should've been one of us but the others will be angry with me if I don't."
"I don't want to fight you either but I'm not giving Naruto up," Karin said. "So what are we going to do?"
They both took out a kunai and began fighting half heartedly until they heard a voice from the trees.
"Dat was pathetic," the voice said.
"I agree," said another.
They looked up to the tree to find two more females, Temari who was staring at the other with malice and her eyes.
"Temari?" Karin asked.
"Raggaeku?" Arinbi asked.
"If ya' two ain't gonna fight, den let us," Reggaeku said.
"What are you doing here?" Karin asked Temari.
"I was coming to help you guys out, I don't know where this bitch came from," Temari said.
"Bombaclot!" Reggaeku said.
"Why don't you like her?" Karin asked.
"I had to rescue Shikamaru from her earlier."
"De ottas like teir men strong but me gotta ting for da smart men," she said.
"She would've had her way with Shikamaru if he wasn't asleep," Temari said.
"And me gonna put ya' bloodclot ass to sleep right now, lorda mercy."
Temari took out her fan and Reggaeku let out her dreadlocks, they began to battle as Temari dodged the razor blades on the end of Reggaeku's hair. Temari swung her fan and force Reggaeku to go on the defensive to avoid the wind. As they fought, Metaru, Punku, Ten and Ino arrived while the fire around the forest began to reach them.
"You skanks didn't beat Sakura and Hinata, did you?" asked Ten.
"There's no way you could've beaten Rappu and Jazi," Metaru said.
They were about to lock horns in a three on three battle until some Leaf Village ANBU arrived carrying the unconscious Sakura and Hinata to back up the Cherry Bombs, weakened and outnumbered, the Queens decided to fight and live another day.
"We'd better find the other two before this fire kills them," Metaru said.
"Just remember that we no where you live, Naruto," Punku said licking her lips at him.
The Queens disappeared in a cloud of smoke as the Bombs headed home, they found their friends and decided to get them away from the fire. When they reached a safe point, Metaru healed them.
"Metal Health Care Jutsu!"
After a few minutes, Rappu's wound was healed and the poison in Jazi's system was neutralized, it took another few minutes for them to regain consciousness. They got up and looked around to find their friend and no Naruto.
"We lost, didn't we?" asked Rappu.
"I'd say Naruto's on a vacation," Punku said with a smile on her face. "But he's not going to find any rest."
"What are you going to do, Reggaeku?" Arinbi asked.
"Wad'ya tink? Me gonna go after Shikamaru, I and I don't give a damn wat dat fan bitch say."
The Bombs got back to the Leaf Village and immediately took Naruto to the Leaf Village hospital, Tsunade checked her top shinobi personally.
"He just needs some rest," Tsunade said. "That's just how I used to leave Dan."
"I really hate when you talk about getting it on with my uncle," Shizune said.