Chapter Two
Emptiness clawed its way through Meredith's gut as she lay on her side, watching the familiar shadows dancing on her bedroom wall. She should have felt guilty, not empty or disappointed. She had tried to feel guilty, mentally listing why it had been wrong to let Mark kiss her, only she couldn't summon even a smidgeon of remorse. As for the disappointment, she didn't really want to dwell on that, afraid of what she might discover about her self.
"Mer? Are you up?" Derek's voice barely echoed in the darkness. She wasn't sure how he wanted her to respond so she said nothing. "I'm sorry that I missed the party. I hope you gave my regards to Webber."
"Of course," Meredith said dully. She lifted her body up onto her elbows, staring at the shadow that was her husband. A giggle formed in the back of her throat. The dark, blurry outline before her was how she seen him anymore; an unrecognizable man that hovered just outside her life. "How's your patient?"
Derek's shadow moved toward the closet, working loose the buttons of his light colored dress shirt. "My patient?"
"Yes, the one you had to operate on. The reason you weren't able to make it to the party." Meredith reminded him, easing her body back into a prone position. She laid her head in the crook of her elbow, fighting back the urge to cry.
"Ah. Mr. Russell. The last I seen him he was recovering nicely." The shirt sailed through the air, landing in the general direction of the laundry basket. "With any luck, he'll be back on his feet in several weeks."
Meredith murmured something unintelligible and then rolled onto her back. She wondered if he even remembered that it was New Year's and if she should say anything. "Happy New Year," he said softly, startling her with how close his voice was. His face loomed over her's, his breath hot on her cheek. She smiled weakly, looping her arms around his neck. He gently pressed his lips to her's, pulling back before she could deepen the kiss.
Another round of disappoint traveled through her veins. Twice in one night a man had left her hanging. It was to be expected with Mark, nothing could ever come of the electricity that sparked between them. Derek was another matter, he was her husband; their clothing should be flying and his body joining with her's. Yet, he seemed satisfied with a platonic kiss and sprawling out on his side of the bed.
"Derek?" She asked softly. He grunted something she couldn't quite make out. "I miss you."
Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
Too much time, too long defending
You and I are done pretending
Gavin Rossdale-Love Remains The Same