Special thanks to NickyR for her priceless advice, ideas and editing..

Chapter VIII

Family Time, Quality Time

The entire group had arrived at Casa Bartowski several minutes ago.

Ellie and Devon's plane had landed without delay and Ellie had immediately announced that there will be a party in the evening. There was so much to celebrate after all.

Now, Carina, Sarah, and Lisa went into Casey's flat and Chuck stayed with Devon and Ellie.

Once Ellie went into their bedroom to unpack, Devon dragged Chuck to his bedroom, looked around and asked, 'Hey bro how is the spy world? Anything new, exciting there?'

'What happened while I was away? Did you kick some …?' Devon was unable to stop.

'Ah, it's not what you think Devon. Action non-stop? Noo,' Chuck shook his head, ' ... I don't think so. It's not that exciting, ... or glamorous, or ... sexy. You don't fight and kick five or six black ninjas every day.'

'Wow, Chuck, you can do that?' Devon exclaimed, 'awesome bro, that is just so awesome.'

'Can you teach me some moves, some karate stuff?' Devon sounded really excited. 'Remember, I taught you how to tango last year? Time for some quid pro quo, bro.'

Now it finally dawned on Devon. 'Wow, you needed the tango for some spy mission, right?'

'Oh, no Devon, I mean yes, it was a mission, but I'm not into this, ... you know. I'm more like an analyst.' he was gesticulating desperately to somehow define how an analyst would differ from the James Bond stuff. 'Dealing with networks and server security.' Chuck couldn't believe that he still had to lie even to Devon. Well, half-lie.

'Aaaah,' he exclaimed to himself, 'if he used to lie or half-lie to Ellie and Devon all the time, what moral right did he have to judge Carina for half-lying to him? After all, he didn't know her reasons. Hm.'

'Oh, c'mon Chuck,' Devon simply wouldn't let it go, 'I saw you all in action, remember? I punched Casey in the face, as hard as I could.' Devon showed him how he had done it.'

'And he took it like some mosquito had bitten him, bro, can you believe that?' he added, getting more and more excited.

'I can Devon. I can. I've seen him in action at least once a week, give or take.' Chuck had a very bad feeling where this was going.

'Oh, yeah, and then, you and Sarah came out of nowhere ... and dude, that was awesome, ... she dropped him just like that. Up there in the head, dropping him with a single kick? ... I knew Sarah was versatile, but that versatile? Sheesh.' he was shaking his head."

"I can imagine how versatile she is in …' Devon was winking and mimicking something to Chuck, pointing his eyes toward Chuck's bed, 'you know what I mean, bro, dontcha?'

'Come to think of it, I know now' Chuck thought. Yeah, she was very versatile indeed, that was a scientifically proven fact now. At least in Chuck's book.

But Devon's voice was too loud now, making Chuck really nervous.

"Devon, you should calm down now, what if Ellie hears this?' Chuck whispered grimacing.

Devon nodded, and had started asking another question, whispering this time, but at this very moment Ellie knocked and opened Chuck's door.

'Ah, there you are,' she was looking at them. Knowing both so well, she immediately smelled that something was wrong.

'What, ... what are you two doing here?' she was bombarding them with her quite inquisitive look.

Both started stammering something unintelligible.

'Oh, my God,' she exclaimed, 'you are in some sort of collusion, aren't you? ...Gotcha! ... You are not leaving this room without telling me.' she said with an impish grin and leaned against the door.

'I'm all ears, ... who's first?' she went on. 'Dish, .... dish.'

'Ah, sis ... just be patient,' Chuck was first to recover, 'it's a surprise.'

'Well,' Ellie inquired, 'I'm perfectly ready for your surprise,' her statement was totally supported by her face expression. 'And so is the latest of the Bartowski species' she added, pointing at her belly.

'Uummm, that's not how it works ... sis, ' Chuck started, having no idea what the surprise would be,'you announced a party tonight, remember? Uh, I'll tell you then. I promise.'

'Well, it's already evening, the party's in 30 minutes, I'm all ears.' Ellie was adamant.

'No, no, no,' Chuck was so panicked inside. 'At the party ...sis ... at the party.'

Now Devon, having gathered some courage from who knows where, tried his magic.

'Babe, please, let him announce it at the party,' he started. He had approached Ellie, actually pressing his body against hers. 'Mmmm, new perfume, I approve,' he lied, 'where have you been hiding this treasure…'

"Gross, Devon, that is so gross!' Ellie yelled. 'Trying to seduce me into letting Chuck get away?' She was rolling her eyes. "How old are you two? Thirteen?'

She had already realized that they weren't telling her anything voluntarily, so she decided to change the tactics.

'I got it!' She exclaimed.

'What?' both Chuck and Devon asked.

'What is it, sis?'

'Aaaah …,' Ellie was still wondering. She was so obsessed with her pregnancy now that she could think only about it. 'Sarah is pregnant, too?' she tried.

'No, …. no,' Chuck was shaking his head, 'I'm positive about that. My answer is negative, ..... aaah, 100%,' he struggled, realizing that he actually couldn't be positive about that right now.

'They use protection baby, ... calm down.' Devon interjected again."Right, Chuck?'

Chuck was cursing him in his head, 'you're not helping Devon!"

'And how do you know it,' Ellie pressed him further. 'That she isn't pregnant, I mean?'

'Umm, … because I know what it actually is, ... the surprise.' Chuck got it finally. 'And it's not that.'

'Hm, …. okay,' Ellie's confidence had disappeared.

She was still blocking his escape route through the door so he started stepping backwards, toward the Morgan door.

'Stop,' she yelled, 'I got it this time, Chuck!'

'What, …what now?'

Um, 'Ellie winked at him.' You have a surprise announcement to make, right?' She was still winking and nodding at him.

'Oh, …. Chuck was just about to deny that but Devon, who was behind Ellie now, was waving in all possible ways, trying to say, 'play along, idiot!'.

And so did Chuck:

'Aaaah, you are one very smart sis, Ellie, but I'm not in a position to either confirm or deny it, bye now,' Chuck said as he was jumping over the Morgan door. "Wait for the party, ha-ha!' he said, rushing away.

'Oh, boy, that was close.' he thought. He had reached the fountain and sat on its edge there.

He was breathing deep now, with his eyes closed, desperately trying to gather his thoughts.

Good that Ellie hadn't heard them. He would think of some stupid surprise later. He needed to talk to Sarah about this.

Chuck had opened his eyes and was about to walk toward Casey's apartment as he needed to see Sarah asap.

And then he opened his eyes and saw it. Image Impossible.

'What the ….?' He exclaimed.

xxx

Carina and Lisa were straggling toward him, leaning on each other. They sure needed that. Each was holding a glass, half-full of some red liquid. In her other hand, Carina had a bottle of some red wine.

'Hi Chuck-y, Casey's sec-ret sta-sh.' She slurred. 'S-o-f Afric-a...' she hiccupped here, -an Cabern-et. '

'Bull..', Lisa countered. 'As 'said, agin' Fizzione, ...t'is merlot, I smell merlot thirteen thous - and ...'mean hundred, thirteen …, Lisa wasn't able to continue. They were zigzagging left and right.

'Chucky, Chucky, dear,' Carina offered him her glass, 'tell Rooki-ela,' she hiccuped again, 'thisss caber-..net.'

'Ladies, Ladies, you are …. uuum'' Chuck started.

'A bit tip –sy, yep, that's rrrright mis ... misss-ter Geek,' Lisa staggered to the left, dragging Carina with her.

'It's more like 'drunken sailors,' Chuck thought, but decided against sharing.

'So, Chacky boy, tell Rookie --ela, Rookiela, Carina went on. 'yo know 'm the boss, rrrigght?'

'I'm really sorry, …. girls, sweet, sweet girls, I'm not ... that guy, … I mean wine guy, wine guy.' Chuck corrected himself.

He was staring at the bottle that was in Carina's hand, but its label had been printed with some sort of hieroglyphics.

It had obviously been intended for export to Zimbabwe or Thailand, wherever, he had no idea. He remembered from his geography classes that South Africa was a major wine producer.

OK, Chu- ... Chu- ... Chuck-y, don' worry, we' ask the doc-tor, ..mean the la-dy doc-tor,' they were both slurring something and moving slowly toward him so he made a step aside to let them go ahead.

'Ladies, …. agents ….,' Chuck pursed his lips, '… drunkards, …where is Sarah?' He asked in desperation.

'Aaaah,' Lisa started, but got interrupted by her own burp now. 'La Co- ...Co-..., Coquette. Cousn's sush-a-louzher.' she shushed.

Loser, what loser?' Chuck protested, apparently highly offended by the remark, even when slurred out by a highly intoxicated 'Rookiela'.

Amazo- ,' Carina tried, 'she lost 'n, Ama-zon drank .. drunk, … drink ... test, con … test'

They had now reached the front door of Casa Bartowski and tried to open it. Not an easy task to get through however. Slim as they both were, they were still stuck there due to their hands still holding the glasses.

Chuck turned and rushed to Casey's. He entered and looked around. 'Sarah?' he shouted.

Yeah, she was there, sleeping on the couch. She was only in her underwear. Not that it was covering much.

There was an empty glass on the table, and next to it an empty bottle.

'Oh god, was she drunk like a sailor too?' Chuck approached her, leaned and tried to smell her mouth. Yeah, that must be South African cabernet, or merlot, or whatever was, it was the first time Sarah had smelled like this.

Phew. So she had lost the drinking contest. Chuck pursed his lips in disappointment.

He could see her chest moving so he knew she was breathing OK. He tried to shake her lightly to see if she would wake up. Nope, there was no chance she was going to budge.

Oh god, he had promised to tell Ellie a big surprise and had no idea what that would be. He had hoped that he and Sarah could figure something out, and now she was passed out drunk and he had to come up with something by himself!

'Think, think, think.'

But he couldn't think of anything. Obviously, Ellie was expecting to hear that he and Sarah have engagement plans but now he couldn't even come up with a fake engagement.

He sat in an arm-chair and tried to figure out another surprise for Ellie. But there was nothing in his head.

Several minutes later he raised his head. Had he fallen asleep? He could hear some noise coming from outside, it kept getting louder by the minute.

Oh yeah, Chuck could hear it clearly now, so he knew immediately.

The drunkard Amazon duo was coming back home. They had opened the front door but obviously couldn't get through. Both were stuck on the door. Again. Drunken sailors never seem to learn.

Chack-y,' Carina hiccupped. 'Come to mama, ba-by.' They had managed to somehow pass the door.

'I had a mama once, but she was nowhere near you, general Falcon,' Chuck thought.

'I won this one, Chuck, 'Lisa mumbled. I'm a wine god ... good ... goddess. Chuck, deear, I won.' She repeated, hiccupping.

'Your Madonna said 'merlot'. I won Fizzione,' she said to her boss, waving her now empty glass aimlessly through the air.

'Bull ..,' Carina was staggering now that she and Lisa parted. ' ...'m the boss... sss is always.. rrrr, rrrrrt...' she fell in an arm chair without finishing.

Then she saw Chuck and her eyes glistened. "Ah, Chuck-y boy, r'nd two.' she was trying to get up.

Why Carina,' Chuck started, in disbelief. 'Wasn't round one more than enough?'

You .. not listen..-ing love .. boy. , she hiccupped again, and again. 'Round two. ..amazo…-n booty … test, I mean aaa … beau- ty test, … eerrr, boo-ty con ... con-test.'

Carina apparently wasn't yet sure how exactly to formulate round two, but Chuck got the picture anyway.

He had gotten up and making plans how to reach the front door, passing somehow around those two. Not an easy task considering Lisa was still between him and the front door.

Carina started taking her shirt off now.

She was trying with her right hand only as she was still holding the glass in the other. It was not the most successful act of undressing in Chuck's book and he felt eternally grateful for that.

Finally, Carina dropped the glass on the carpet and was now unbuttoning.

Oh, yeaah,' Lisa started, 'let's see bioss!' She started taking her shirt off.

'Chack,' Carina gasped, 'you've a new mi- ..mi- ..mission. "mir – ur, … mirrrr on ' wall, who' s, .. who's the …f'rest'.., al? mirrrr, mirr ..'

Having no interest whatsoever in playing the role of the infamous magic mirror, Chuck had gotten up and was making plans how to reach the front door, passing somehow around the rookie Amazon.

'Ladies, ladies, I'm really not good at this,' he started, trying not to look at them. 'Thank god they still had their bras on.'

Chucky dear, rememr, Lisa staggered toward him, leaning forward.

If 'Fizzion-i wi... wi-wi .. .wins, I'll tu- tu.. tell .. tell the co … coq … coquette.' Lisa fell on the couch, over Sarah's legs.

' ..'nd three,' Carina announced between multiple hiccups now..' rrrnd threeeee...'

She was trying to take her pants off without further announcements.

Now that they were at round three, Lisa didn't wait for a special invitation. ''ll nock ur socks fff, auntie.' She shot at Carina trying to take her jeans off.

Chuck looked around. His escape route via the front door was a possibility now that both were down. He rushed to the door blurting out:

'Sorry ladies, I had left the coffee machine on, I'll be back soon.' He raced out of Casey's and toward Casa Bartowski.

Only after Chuck got to the front door of the Casa did he dare glance back at what was going on in Casey's apartment.

'hate'ya Rookiela' cried the auntie and threw her bra at the junior agent.

Yeah, they were now throwing everything at each other, panties, bras, and whatnot.

'Chuck!' both shouted, but the slur that followed was totally unintelligible.

Special Agent Carmichael didn't think twice – he opened the front door of his home, rushed in and locked it with both locks, leaning against it. He could exhale freely now.

'Phew, that was close, too.' He thought.

XXX