When Jill Met Marcie
Chapter 3: Speed Wars
AN:Just a few cast members to add:
Chris-Nicholas Brendon
Suad-Jonathan Ahdout
Brutus Ortiz-Kevin Alejandro
By the way, in case you're wondering, "Suad" is an acrostic for "Shut Up And Drive".
June 21, 2001
The staff at Speed Zone had gathered to issue challenges to each other around lunchtime.
"Okay, the prize is half my sandwich." said a floor clerk whose nametag read "Dave".
"Deal." said Caesar.
"Okay, what do you want me to find?" asked Dave.
"Cold air intake for a Mitsubishi Eclipse," said Caesar "NOS Fogger system, and valves for a Mazda RX-7."
"Say when." said Dave.
"Five minutes starting now." said Caesar.
Dave ran to the computer directory and went to work on it. After one result came up, he whispered to himself. The next result came up and he whispered to himself again. The next result came up and he looked at the screen confused. He then ran to the aisles.
Jill pulled into the parking lot in her Civic. She and Marcie climbed out.
"Ready for that turbocharger?" asked Marcie.
"Definitely." said Jill. "I'm looking forward to taking on bigger fish."
Inside, Tony walked in to see the challenge taking place. Dave dropped off the nitrous system on the counter, then ran back to the aisles.
"How's he doing?" asked Tony.
"Good so far." said Caesar. "He's picked up two of the three items and is going for the third."
Tony looked at the intake and nitrous system and asked "What is the third item?"
"Valves for an RX-7." laughed Caesar.
"You're evil." said Tony.
Another clerk checked her watch. "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Time!"
Dave walked out of the aisles, picked up half of his sandwich, and handed it to Caesar.
"Uh, Dave?" said Tony. "For future reference, rotary engines don't have valves."
Dave looked at Caesar, said "You snake.", and threw his chips at him. Caesar just laughed.
"Why didn't you stop the contest?" asked Caesar.
"He's supposed to know that. It's his job." said Tony.
"He'll learn." said Caesar.
He then took a bite of the sandwich. A second later, Jill walked up to him and said "Hey, Caesar. I'm looking for a turbocharger for the Civic."
Caesar tried to respond, but could barely be understood due to his mouth being full.
"So, how's the waitressing job going?" asked Tony.
"Fine." said Jill. "Can you help me with this?"
"No prob." said Tony.
Tony led them into the aisles.
"So, what brand are you thinking of?" asked Tony. "Greddy? HKS? Apex Integration?"
"Greddy." said Jill. "Marcie and I talked it over and we chose Greddy."
"Here we go." said Tony as he picked up a box for a Greddy turbo kit.
"So, how'd you get a cushy job like this?" asked Jill.
"I have a certain connection to the boss." said Tony.
"What's that?" asked Jill. "A love for cars? Movie tastes?"
"DNA." said Tony.
The manager walked over to the end of the aisle and said "Tony, next time you see Caesar, tell him I need him in my office."
"You got it, dad." said Tony.
Tony's dad, Vinnie Basilotta, left for his office.
"Aw, isn't that nice?" said Marcie. "His daddy got him the job."
"Nepotism." said Tony. "Gotta love it."
Jill brought the turbo kit to the counter where Caesar was finishing his sandwich.
"Hey, Caesar." said Tony. "Dad needs you in his office."
"On it." said Caesar. He got up and went to the office.
"So, how are you planning to pay for this?" asked Tony.
Jill took out a roll of cash.
"Somebody's been a generous tipper." said Tony.
"This is from racing." said Jill. "Don't worry. My boss is okay with my racing activites."
"Has he seen you race?" asked Tony as he rang up the purchase.
"No, he says he doesn't want to risk being caught." said Jill.
"Then maybe this should interest you." said Tony as took a flyer out of a basket on the counter.
Jill looked over the flyer while Tony bagged her turbo kit. It read:
SPEED WARS
Race legally and safely
No police chases
Irwindale Speedway
July 13-14
Gates open at 8 A.M.
Entry $100 per car
No alcoholic beverages
Sponsored by Speed Zone.
"You're kidding." said Jill.
"No way." said Tony. "That's legit. Something like that is happening in that movie that's coming out tomorrow."
"What? 'The Fast And The Furious'?" asked Marcie.
"Bingo." said Tony.
"Where do I sign up?" asked Jill.
In Vinnie's office, Caesar entered and asked "Am I in trouble, Mr. B?"
"I think I am." said Vinnie. He turned the computer's monitor to him and said "Everytime I try to boot, I get this file I was working on. Is there a way to get that to stop?"
Caesar walked over to the computer and returned the monitor to its original position. He looked over the screen, then looked at the CPU itself. He then pushed the eject button on the floppy drive. A disk popped out.
"That was the easiest fifty bucks you ever made." said Vinnie.
July 13, 2001
Jill pulled up to Irwindale Speedway in her Civic. Marcie was behind her in her Tiburon with Steve and Pete in Steve's Probe.
"Hi, welcome to Speed Wars." said the man at the gate. "How many in your crew?"
"Myself, the Tiburon, and the Probe." said Jill as she handed over three hundred dollars.
"You've got spot J-2." said the man. "Have fun."
Jill and her team drove into the parking lot and found their spaces. They exited their cars and looked around.
"Wow, check out this scene." said Marcie.
"We should come to more of these." said Steve.
"Hey, if you want to go out and see what's going on," said Pete "I'll be willing to stay here and watch the cars."
"Thanks, Pete." said Jill. "I'll bring you back something to eat."
Jill, Marcie, and Steve walked away.
Marcie found herself walking over to a booth with a banner featuring the logo for Speed Zone. Tony, Caesar, and Tony's dad were there.
"Well, fancy meeting you guys here." said Marcie.
"Glad you could make it, Marcie." said Tony. "So, what do you think of Speed Wars so far?"
"This is wild." said Marcie. "You guys have to keep us informed on more of these."
"We will." said Tony. "We will."
Just then, a Hispanic man walked over and said "Hey, Caesar. You up for a little race?"
"I'm ready anytime you like." said Caesar. "What are you driving?"
"Legacy." said the man.
"Mitsubishi Galant." said Caesar. "What do you say to a five hundred dollar wager?"
"How about this instead?" asked the man. "If you win, you get five hundred dollars. If I win, you have to install something in my car and take five hundred dollars out of your paycheck for it."
"Sounds like a challenge." said Caesar.
"Okay." said the man. "See you on the track."
Elsewhere, Jill was looking around. She heard music and went to investigate. She found a young man of Middle Eastern descent onstage playing an electric guitar with the usual backup band. They were playing the music from Ozzy Osbourne's "Hellraiser". The young man then started to sing.
Got myself a brand new car.
Nissan Skyline GT-R.
The turbo engine's got some bite.
I go street racing every night.
Got more boost with a new ECU,
once I hooked up the wires.
Under the sides, got some blue neon lights,
and brand new Goodyear tires.
Street racer.
Candy paint is the best.
Street racer.
Body kit's from C-West.
Street racer.
Racing stripes on there too.
Street racer.
And I just blew past you.
Got the nitrous system from Venom.
Intake came from AEM.
O.Z. rims mounted to the wheels.
Opponents know how losing feels.
People say my car is the best.
They ask me where I got it.
Two years ago, had a beat up Yugo.
But now, I have forgot it.
Street racer.
Kenwood playing the beats.
Street racer.
Got two red Sparco seats.
Street racer.
And the gauges are blue.
Street racer.
And I just blew past you.
He played through the bridge while the audience cheered him on. Jill joined in on the revelry. The man continued to sing.
Beat a Supra sometime last week.
Home in time for "Dawson's Creek".
Later, I faced an NSX.
Ate him up like a big T-rex.
Someone took me on last Monday,
he had an RX-7.
After the race, had some egg on his face.
To me, it felt like Heaven.
Street racer.
Drive like Richard Petty.
Street racer.
Anytime you're ready.
Street racer.
I'm a racer, it's true.
Street racer.
And I just blew past you.
He played the rest of the music for the song, then stopped. The crowd applauded.
"Thank you, I'm here 'til tomorrow." he said. He then got off the stage.
Jill followed him to the parking lot. "Hey, you're not bad." she said.
He turned to her. "Oh. Thanks." he said.
"You just might have a career out of that." said Jill. "I mean it worked for 'Weird Al'. My name's Jill."
"I'm Suad." he said as he opened the trunk on a yellow Daewoo Lanos.
"Interesting." said Jill.
"It's Persian." said Suad.
"So, what motivated you to become a parody singer?" asked Jill.
"I've long looked at music like it was a good start." said Suad. "I've always thought music can be funny, or at least funnier. They say to write what you know, so I write about cars."
"You race?" asked Jill.
"Oh, no." said Suad. "I don't have the coordination to work a stick shift. I can't race, but I can sing about it, you know?"
"I do." said Jill.
"Hey, Jill." said Marcie as she ran over. "You gotta come see this. Someone's racing Caesar. Hi, Suad."
"Hey, Marcie." said Suad.
"Wanna come?" asked Jill.
"Sure." said Suad. "I just might write a song about this."
On the track, Caesar's Galant pulled up to the starting line. His opponent's car, a beige Subaru Legacy sedan pulled up alongside him.
Caesar flexed his fingers and set up his ECU. His opponent set up his own electronics.
"Our next heat is setting up!" said the announcer. "In the Mitsubishi Galant, representing Speed Zone, Caesar King!"
Caesar waved to the cheering audience.
"And in the Subaru Legacy, Brutus Ortiz!" said the announcer.
The audience cheered again as Caesar looked to his opponent in shock. Brutus pointed his index and middle fingers into his own eyes, then at Caesar's.
"Glad this isn't the Ides of March." said Caesar.
The two cars revved their engines.
The flagman waved the green flag and the cars took off. Brutus took an early lead. Caesar put his car into the next gear as it went into the turn. He started to catch up.
As the cars went into the turn, Brutus' Subaru pulled closer to the wall. Caesar let up on his accelerator and cut through the apex. When they hit the straight, he floored it and took the lead.
Brutus pressed his accelerator to the floor as well and started to catch up. He almost had when they reached the next turn. Caesar again let off a little and maintained control through the turn.
Brutus didn't slow it down in time and clipped the wall, scratching his paint job. When they came out of the turn, Caesar had an insurmountable lead and made his way to the finish line.
Caesar crossed the finish line half a car length ahead of Brutus. "Oh!" yelled Brutus. "That's cold! Man, that's just cold!"
Caesar drove his Galant back to the Speed Zone stand. Brutus followed him. They got out of their cars and Brutus handed over the money he lost.
"Try not to go so fast into the turns." said Caesar. "You gotta be less aggressive."
"Good to know." said Brutus.
"And that's the way it's done." said Tony.
Jill and Marcie walked back to their area. "Why haven't I seen this Brutus guy before?" asked Jill.
"He doesn't race in our neighborhood." said Marcie. "He mostly sticks to South Central."
They reached their area to see Chris had joined them and was talking with Pete and Steve. "Jill mentions you guys a lot." he said. "By the way, Pete, have you found a new car yet?"
"Working on it." said Pete.
"Hey, Chris." said Jill.
"Jill, good to see you." said Chris. "I didn't know where to find your crew. Then, I found your car and here I am."
"I see you brought your car too." said Jill as she looked at Chris' car, a silver Isuzu Stylus with a dent in the driver's side rear door and a gap where the turn signal used to be.
"It does what it's supposed to do." said Chris. "It gets me around and carries my groceries. At least here, it won't be mistaken for a racer."
A passerby looked at the Stylus and said "Hey, nice car. Obviously, a sleeper. So, whatcha got under the hood?"
"Um, second rubber band." joked Chris. The passerby walked away laughing.
As the afternoon went by, the team took in the activities of the day. A few more races took place, Suad sang some more, Pete checked out the cars for sale, Jill and Marcie talked shop with Tony and Caesar.
And then Scott showed up.
He had the same FTO he had the night he was to race Jill. His teammates drove a red MX-6, a blue Celica, and a black Silverado. They found some parking spaces and set up shop.
"Hey, Scotty." said someone. Scott high-fived him.
"What's the good word?" asked Scott.
"Is that the guy you almost raced?" asked Chris.
"That's him." said Jill.
"You gonna race him? Show him up?" asked Chris.
"You bet." said Jill.
"Hey, what's up, Antonio?" asked Scott.
"Party's in full swing." said Tony. "Everybody's having a good time. We've got some entertainment going on."
"Righteous." said Scott.
"Hey, Tony." said one of Scott's teammates. "I was thinking of dropping by the shop for an upgrade."
"You're looking to upgrade the Celica?" asked Tony.
"No, I'm looking to upgrade my boots." said the teammate sarcasticly. "They don't kick ass anymore."
"Sounds like a user error to me." said Caesar.
"Yo, Scott!" called Jill.
Scott turned to her and said "Oh, it's you."
"A couple months back, we were supposed to race." said Jill. "Unfortunately, the cops had other ideas."
"So, what is this then?" asked Scott. "Are you challenging me to the race that never was?"
"You bet." said Jill.
"Alright, let's go." said Scott.
On the track, a Cavalier and a late 80s Dodge Daytona were racing. The Cavalier had a small lead until they crossed the finish line.
"And the winner is Bruce Wolfeil." said the announcer.
"We're next." said Scott.
"Still a free race?" asked Jill.
"If you want." said Scott.
The Honda and Mitsubishi pulled up to the start.
"In the Honda, we have Jill Boyd out of Alabama." said the announcer. "And in the FTO, Scott Temple."
Cheers swept through the audience.
Jill and Scott revved their engines. The flagman held up a green flag, then dropped it.
The two cars took off. Jill pulled ahead first and raced for the first turn. As she was going through, Scott managed to pass her on the apex.
Jill noticed this and went to the next gear. She tried to pass him, but failed.
Scott then made his way to the next turn while Jill tried to catch up. She started to pass him through the apex.
They then hit the main stretch and made for the finish. Jill had regained the lead.
"Here she comes!" said Marcie.
Jill then aimed for the finish line and floored it. Suddenly, the FTO passed her on her right. Scott raced for the finish and blew over it. Jill was right behind.
Jill's friends looked on in shock.
"What just happened?" asked Chris.
"She lost." said Pete.
Jill brought her car to a stop and Scott pulled alongside her. "Nice try." he said. "But you're going to have to work a little more to stand a chance."
As he drove off, Jill gave him the finger.