A/N: Here we are, back to Chuck v. Agent Insanity.

For those who have forgotten the story, here is a quick flashback (parts I and II):

Immediately after Chuck uploads Intersect 2.0, Sarah is urgently summoned to Washington – to be briefed on a top secret black op (against Iranian nuclear facilities) that would involve the intersect. Carina is assigned to replace Sarah. She turns out to be a very resourceful but schizophrenic woman, eager to deal with her personal problems. She uses Chuck (the Intersect) to find out the location of a mafia enforcer who is hiding under the witness protection program. He and his thugs had been responsible for the death of her family almost 20 years ago.

Agent 20, the head of the black op, briefs Sarah on everything she needs to know and sends her back to LA, summoning now Casey back to Washington, DC.

Meanwhile, Chuck and Carina come across Sarah's cousin Lisa, a con artist, same as Sarah and her father before the CIA recruited her. Carina realizes that Lisa is much more like her than Sarah and decides to recruit her for both her personal and government agendas.

Once Sarah is back in LA, Carina stages an incident to make Chuck's sister finally find out the truth about her brother and hopefully convince her to go into hiding.

During this episode Sarah, who hasn't had the chance to spend a single second with her now real boyfriend, takes Chuck away to one of the interrogation cells of the Castle so they finally have some private time together. Unfortunately, she forgets that the monitoring systems is automatically turned on so Ellie and Devon can see on one of the monitors Sarah and Chuck making out. Fortunately, Devon is able to turn the audio off and soon Carina joins to help, turning the video monitoring off before it gets too hot in this improvised 'interrogation' cell.

A/N: Special thanks to my magnificent editor, NickyR, as always. I still make changes after her editing, so the bad stuff is certainly mine.

Chuck Versus Agent Insanity – Part II

Chapter XI

Agent Walker And Agent Joker

22:30, The Castle, Improvised 'Interrogation' Cell

'Well,' a still panting Sarah started, hastily putting her clothes back on, 'time to get back to the operations room, Chuck. They must be wondering what's going on, … why we disappeared for so long.'

'Really, … you think?' Chuck asked enthusiastically.

'What,' Sarah furrowed, ' … what do you mean?'

'So long? You think it was, uh … long, … I mean long enough?'

'Oh, … that,' she semi-smirked, 'yeah, … it was great, … why?'

'Nothing, just asking, … yeah, let's go, they must be waiting for us.'

Five minutes later Sarah and Chuck rushed back into the situation room.

Both Devon and Ellie awkwardly turned their heads away.

Noticing that, Chuck frowned and glanced at Sarah, raising his shoulders, 'What's with those two?'

Carina, watching all this with a smirk on her face, decided to unveil the mystery.

'That's right Chuck,' she snickered. 'Both you and Sarah forgot that once you enter one of those cells, the monitoring system there gets automatically turned on. So you two have put on quite an adult show for the public here … on monitor 7, I mean. And you have a really good audio system here, in this op center. Very vivid, stereo ...'

'Oh, my god!' both Sarah and Chuck had yelled. "We are so sorry!' They both started desperately gesticulating.

'It's ok, bro,' Devon waved his hand, 'I reacted really fast, turned the audio off, put some newspaper on the monitor there, so, hmm … it was PG-13, bro, … strictly PG-13.'

'Thank God,' Ellie exclaimed raising her head and rolling her eyes. Then she put her head back between her hands.

'Well,' Lisa decided to chime in. 'Congratulations, cousin,' she smiled at Sarah. 'And Chuck, to you too,' she poked him on his belly. 'Oh, … you're such a softie.'

'Yeah,' Carina said, 'he needs some serious training, and so do you, Lisa. I guess we're gonna start on that tomorrow. But first we have a much more immediate problem,' she turned to Ellie and Devon. 'You two.'

'What, what's the problem, uh, … officer?' Devon stammered, forgetting Carina's name.

'As Chuck's close relatives you are under serious threat. You've already seen how real it is, haven't you?'

'It's both a threat to you two personally,' Carina went on, '... and to the baby. And most importantly, to US national security as well. As you already know, Chuck is a very important government asset and if some hostile entity were to kidnap him, it would be tremendous leverage on him, so …'

'So …' Ellie asked anxiously.

'So, ... we have to hide you somewhere,' Sarah chimed in raising her hands, ' at least for a couple of months, until the dust settles a bit here.'

'Oh,' Ellie exclaimed while Chuck swallowed really hard, 'some underground, uh …, place?'

'Not necessarily,' Sarah went on. 'A military base abroad, like Japan or Germany, you'll be even able to work as doctors, you know. As so many others do.'

'Oh,' Ellie said, still struggling to process the incoming, completely new reality, 'that's not such a bad idea, right Devon?'

'But even better,' Carina interrupted, 'I mean ... in terms of your safety, will be a navy ship. In the sea, … fresh air, and virtually absolute security. How about an air carrier? The Mediterranean, … the Pacific?'

'Awesome,' Devon jumped up, smiling and waving,' this is so awesome, … right babe?'

Ellie's eyes were now wide open. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess so, if we would be indeed really safe, … there.'

In fact, she had no idea whether she wanted it or not. Yet.

Xxx

10:30 am, next day, The Buy More

The exit gate opened and Chuck rushed in. Having made several steps inside, he stopped, looked around and smirked. Hmm, he felt so good about getting back to Buy More now.

Right behind him, there stood Carina, in a black business suit.

'Well, Chuck,' she said, 'Let's do it.'

'Yeah, … yeah, that'll be fun.' Chuck smiled at her. 'I really like it. Let me show you around.'

Big Mike was the first to spot them while towing a really huge box.

'Hi Chuck,' he nodded, obviously forgetting that Chuck had quit. 'Late again, huh, lazy boy? Is that your new girlfriend?'

'Hi, Big Mike, how are ya? And no, Sarah is over there, setting up the new shop, you know, the subway thing.'

Before Big Mike was able to say anything Lester popped up.

'Aaaah, Chuck, what brings you here, bro? Last time I checked you quit the Buy More, right? Oh, the lady, … Sarah's friend, I remember.' he smiled at Carina and offered his hand. 'And how can one forget such a beautiful woman. Au chante.'

'I'm back Lester, at least for a while,' Chuck said, ' and so is the lady,' he nodded at Carina.

'Where is the manager?' Carina inquired after greeting Lester.

'Oh, Emmett? He was wandering around,' Lester glanced around and so did Chuck and Carina.

Was that Emmett's bald head that had just ducked behind the shelf over there?

'Emmett?' Chuck yelled, 'is that you?'

'Uuuh, … yeah, … yeah, I had just dropped my uh, … pen?' Emmett said timidly, reappearing behind one of the shelves. 'Hello, …Mr. Bartowski, Miss Williams, I presume?' Emmett offered his hand to Carina while bowing.

'That's right, Carina Williams,' she smiled, 'I'm Mr. Moses Finkelstein's legal advisor. I'm here for overall re-evaluation of this store's performance. As you probably heard David Mercer, the corporate evaluator, has been fired and we are just making sure his recent actions weren't influenced by any ulterior motives. Seems like he took bribes from here and there.'

'No, not here, … not from here.' Emmett went on smarmily. 'How can I be of any help, dear lady?'

'Oh, we'll be just looking around for the time being, talking to people. I need to see how things are going here, first-hand.' Carina said icily. 'Mr. Bartowski will be with me, after all he was working here for quite some time, right Chuck?' she smiled at him. 'If there are any skeletons around, he'll be able to help me find them…'

'Yeah, yeah, of course,' a trembling Emmett went on, 'if you need uh, … anything, I'll be in my office, um … anything, Miss Williams,' at that Emmett turned around and slowly straggled back toward his office as if he was heading to the guillotine.

'Okay,' Chuck said, 'Lester, and where is Jeff by the way?'

'Oh, … Jeff, hmm,' Lester uttered, but he was still processing something, "Emmett's history, I guess, maybe, oh gosh, … maybe I can be the next …'

'Jeff is, uh … in his office, you know, the toilet stall,' Lester went on, after turning to Carina.

'He refurbished one of the stalls there, uses it as a base of his operations,' Chuck explained, smirking.

'Oh, I see,' Carina said.

'Watching porn there?' Chuck asked.

'I don't think so,' Lester shook his head. 'He had just purchased a 3-DVD audio course, … you know, 'How To Get Women.'

'Interesting,' Carina shook her head, 'Quite a guy, huh. I think I remember him now. The one with the rebellious hair?'

'I don't need a course,' Lester grimaced awkwardly at Carina, 'people say I'm a natural.'

'Yeah, yeah,' Carina nodded. 'I can see that.'

Xxx

7,30 pm, same day, The Castle

It was the first day of Chuck and Lisa's intensive physical training. Once Chuck had shown Carina the secret entrance to the Castle from the Buy More side, they got back there and started training. Martial arts, then jogging outside, weightlifting, push-ups, everything.

Nothing that Sarah and Carina taught Chuck seemed familiar to him. Obviously, the Intersect and Chuck's own memory operated independently. At least for now.

After four hours of intensive work and receiving tens of punches and kicks from everybody Chuck sat on a chair and declared, 'I'm officially done. At least for today. You three crazy Amazons can go on until the world ends if you like.'

'Yeah, yeah,' Lisa said panting. 'Make that two crazy Amazons,' she sat next to him. 'I've had enough, people.'

'Amateurs!' Carina said, shaking her head, 'We've just warmed up, right Sarah?'

'Oh, … you have?' Sarah smirked at her. 'Because I haven't, … yet.'

'Oh, … oh, … do I sense some tension here?' Chuck chimed in. 'Between the two crazy Amazons, … ready to fight, … reenacting what, … Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris, huh? Gladiators in Rome? Way of the Dragon?'

Both Sarah and Carina turned and glared at Chuck. 'What?' Sarah raised her voice in disbelief. 'You're back to your voyeur mode, aren't you?'

'Well,' Carina said, 'that's not such a bad idea; actually, let's fight for a prize, hmm … whoever wins, hmm …, gets to sleep with Chucky tonight. What say you, Sarah?' Carina uttered the last while winking at Sarah with her right eye as Chuck was on her left and couldn't see it.

Sarah turned again toward Chuck, still glaring.

'Great idea, Carina,' Sarah said decisively, while turning back to her, 'but you just shouldn't have winked at me. We are doing this for real.' She enunciated and took a fighter position narrowing her eyes on Carina.

'Huh, … what, … Sarah!' Chuck tried to protest.

But Sarah couldn't respond as Carina had already attacked her. Viciously.

They had been fighting for over three minutes in front of the rookies.

Carina successfully defended from one of Sarah's attacks and was able to surprise her with a really strong front kick in the stomach that sent Sarah on the floor.

'Well, Chuck,' Carina said panting heavily, 'it seems like by tomorrow morning I'll have learned much more about you than ever before,' she said throwing a quick glance at Chuck's groin area.

'You sure?' Sarah uttered while getting up.

'Well, at least I have my hopes,' Carina smiled.

Then Carina suddenly changed her position. She had abandoned her typical fighter pose with her left leg ahead and took a level position with her hands down waiting for Sarah to come closer.

Suddenly, Carina started a half-hearted punch attack with her right hand. Sarah immediately realized the deception. Then, in an instant, Carina's left leg sprang up violently in an inside crescent kick aiming at Sarah's jaw.

While Carina was really quick in her attempt Sarah was able to move her head to her left and position both her hands so that she could not only block the kick but catch and hold Carina's leg.

Only few fighters, and certainly only the most acrobatic ones were able to get out of this position with their leg trapped. If they are physically strong and acrobatic enough, they would still be able to jump with their right leg and try another inside crescent kick. Their trapped left leg, lying on the hands of the opponent would partially serve as a support base for their secondary jump and kick. But they would usually do that as a last resort, only as a desperate reaction to their other leg having been disabled.

In this case, it was part of Carina's plan. Even her second move had been a deception. Immediately after Sarah had caught her left leg, Carina's right one sprang and was flying toward Sarah's jaw. Half a second earlier than usual. Thus, she was able to surprise her opponent.

By the time Sarah realized Carina's second deception, it was too late. Carina's bare foot hit her in the area of her nose and upper lip.

Sarah dropped Carina's left leg and fell on the ground. Carina, with both her legs high in the air, fell down several feet away from her.

'Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!' somebody was squealing as if being slaughtered.

'Sarah!' Chuck jumped, followed by Lisa. Once they got to Sarah and Chuck turned her to look at her face he realized that it wasn't Sarah who had screamed. Her mind was slowly getting back and she was grimacing.

'Ohhhh,' Carina moaned. She was holding her left hip with both hands.

'Carina, what's wrong?' Chuck asked.

Carina was still breathing heavily and only able to moan. After 30 seconds of groaning quietly she uttered to Chuck:

'Chuck, uh, .. go get me uh, …some ice and some tranq, uh … something!' She moaned.

'Did you tear a tendon?' Lisa asked and then looked at Sarah who was now up and next to her, wiping her bleeding nose.

'Is it the back of the hip, Carina?' Sarah asked.

'Yeah, … I think so.' Carina said panting and nodding, ' my mobile … uh,… uh…, doctor Shapiro. … Here in LA. Call him, please. … He's my doctor.'

'The hamstring?' Sarah asked.

'Not sure, … I guess so.'

'Can you contract the leg?' Sarah asked.

'No, uh … are you crazy? Uh, I can't move it all!' Carina screamed at her while lying on her right side.

'Let me see,' Sarah said and tried to pull the pants of her training suit down.

'Oh, my god!' Sarah yelled horrified. She was staring at her leg with obvious disgust. 'You've got dark red, purple … lines, across the leg … looks like muscle fibers, … torn, uh … lots of muscle fibers. Oh, God!'

'Where is Chuck, … get me some painkillers, Sarah, … it's killing me …' Carina moaned quietly. 'And call the doctor, … please.'

Sarah rushed to the storage room and soon got back with a syringe. Once she gave Carina a shot she took Carina's mobile and called the doctor.

20 minutes later they put Carina on a stretcher and took her up, into the Orange Orange area, waiting for Dr. Shapiro's ambulance. It was a total mess as the place was in the middle of complete transformation. Sarah was obviously going back to some chicken sandwiches.

'Lisa,' Carina started once they were up there in the store. 'Will you come with me there to the clinic, please?'

'Of course, I'll be there all the time. Don't worry.'

'We're all coming there with you, Carina,' Sarah said. 'Just don't worry.'

xxx

Two hours later the ambulance arrived back at Dr. Shapiro's private clinic in Beverly Hills.

The doctor, in his early 50s, was waiting for them outside the clinic.

They rushed Carina inside and half an hour later Shapiro went out again and approached Chuck and the two girls.

'Well,' Chuck started, 'what's the sentence?'

'There are muscle fibers that are obviously torn.' Shapiro started. 'How many and whether she'll need surgery – difficult to say now. Tomorrow morning we're gonna run a series of tests on her and see where we are. She is sleeping now, fully sedated. Her pain will subside by tomorrow morning, so ...'

'Doctor, she asked me to stay with her, here, … uh …' Lisa started.

'No, no, there is now point, dear girl.' The doctor shook his head. 'I can see how tired all you are. She'll be sleeping and tomorrow morning undergoing tests. Your staying here makes no sense. It's not a life-threatening condition, so …' the doctor raised his shoulders.

'Her cell-phone will be either with me or her personal nurse. We'll stay in touch… This is by the way one of the best clinics in the world and I have known Carina's father since college and her mother for almost as long. Very close friends, so don't worry.' He smiled at them.

'Uh,' Sarah exhaled deeply, still thinking, 'I guess the doctor is right.'

Soon Sarah, Chuck and Lisa got into Chuck's car and drove away.

'So,' Chuck started, glancing at Sarah, 'you decided to lend me to Carina, huh, … for the night, … right?'

'Right,' Sarah chuckled. 'It was a joke, Chuck, I was winking at Carina while telling her I was serious.' She lightly punched him on his shoulder.

'Oh, that's how it is. Kung-fu humor, … right.' He pursed his lips.

'And what about you Chuck, you like a bunch of sweaty Amazons fighting in front of you, … for you, huh?' Sarah started now. 'Putting on some hottie show?' She pinched him really hard.

'Aaagh!' He screamed. "It was a joke Sarah, … you know that!' He looked at her. 'Right?'

'Yeah, all you men are such jokers.' She said. 'From A to Z … without exceptions.'

'What!' Chuck jumped. "You can't put me in the same category with everybody, with uh …'

'I was joking with you, Agent Joker.' Sarah punched him lightly on the shoulder. 'Lighten up. You're not the only one who is licensed to joke.'

'Agent Walker and Agent Joker.' Lisa said loudly. "Hmm, I like that, … sounds catchy. And you are such fun to watch.'

XXX

Once the car drove away, Dr. Shapiro turned around and rushed into his clinic. 'Crap! Finally! The moment has come.'

He entered his private cabinet where Carina was sitting behind his desk and having her third banana with some vitamin concoction. She desperately needed to recover from the physical exhaustion a.s.a.p. She had just taken a quick shower and was still enveloped in a towel.

"I hope you're not gonna kill anybody.' The doctor started.

'Of course not.' She snorted. 'It's a family affair. I told you. I'm just in technical violation of the DEA rules, nothing serious or criminal. It will simply hurt my career. You know, up the ladder.' She added casually.

'Good,' the doctor sighed with some relief but he still looked not fully convinced. At least to Carina.

'Don't worry doc, those were three witnesses of my injury, tomorrow they'll see me again sedated here, the tests, then we are protected under the doctor-patient thing. And it's no big deal anyway, there won't be an investigation of such a minor family affair anyway.'

'Yeah, yeah,' Shapiro said. "And after all I have no choice, do I?" he though to himself for 17th time today.

No, he didn't. While successful now, it was 4 years ago when Dr. Shapiro was deep in the red. And not only one but several of those Hollywood celebrities had sniffed him out. Their bodyguards had offered him really good money for prescribing this and that.

Shapiro sighed sadly.

He had had no choice. His practice was going down the drain. Nooo choice. So he started providing all these filthy rich Hollywood trashcans with painkillers, sedatives, whatever they needed.

And then, this devilish girl popped out of nowhere.

He smiled at Carina.

Carina smiled back while sipping her vitamin cocktail. Yeah, she thought. How lucky am I to have you now, doctor?

3 years ago she had decided to recruit a dirty doctor. Somebody who could provide her with an alibi when she would need it. It was child's play to find one. Several actually. You read a bunch of tabloids, have a nice dinner with one of these sleazy 'journalists' and voila. They were telling her everything in hope to impress and get her in their beds later. It took her less than a week to have a list of twelve celebrities who used 'stuff'. It took her another week to track down their providers, the dirty doctors.

Once Carina had installed microphones and hidden cameras in Shapiro's cabinet and documented his favors to a couple of pop singers and an actress, the doctor was in her hands.

One beautiful morning she had popped up at his front door and 15 minutes later had been laying down, on his desk, photos of him signing prescriptions to certain bodyguards, and then audio recordings, supporting the videos. Then she showed him her badge. DEA special agent.

'Relax, doctor,' she had said with a really soothing voice, 'your life is not finished, don't worry. I'm not here to arrest you. I will just need a small favor.'

"Uh, what … what favor?" the trembling doctor had asked.

'You'll be my doctor, … that's all. When I am in LA and need medical attention, you'll be there for me.'

'And…?'

'That's all. Whether I need it, … or not, … you'll be there to provide it. That's all.' At that Carina had stood up and prepared to leave.

Having reached the door, Carina had turned. 'Oh, two more things, doctor. You know why I picked you, out of so many candidates, in the area? You've studied at Stanford. My father studied there at the same time. That's how we know each other. Old friends with my dad.'

'What's his name?'

'I'll let you know when the time comes. No need to know now.'

'Uh, ok, … and the second thing?'

'Here is my phone number at the DEA, in DC, I want you to call me there one week from now. An operator will answer it and connect to me, ok?'

'Why?'

'Two reasons. I want you to be 100% sure that I'm indeed a federal agent and working for the government and second, we need to start socializing, so this will be part of it. I'll call you from time to time and visit you for a coffee when in LA. Socializing. OK?' Carina had smiled at her already good old friend.

'Yeah, yeah, no problem, uh …, is that all?' Shapiro had asked timidly.

'Oh, I forgot, … one last thing.' Carina had pulled out one of her knives and tossed it, as strongly as she could, left of the doctor.

Utterly horrified, he had turned to see where it was now.

Behind his desk, on the wall, there was a swimsuit calendar. Carina's knife had pierced the Swedish supermodel there right between her eyes.

'Uhm … why … why would you do that, miss?'

'Oh, just to illustrate how disappointed I would be if you talk to somebody.' She had said icily. 'So, be professional. Doctor-patient confidentiality. You know the rules.'

'OK, OK, of course, doctor-patient … that's all you want right?'

'Right.' Carina had repeated. ' I need your medical attention whether I need it or not.'

There was something absurd in this sentence but the doctor was so horrified that his tormented mind wasn't able to figure it out at the moment.

Carina had walked back to the calendar to pull her knife out.

She narrowed her eyes at the small letters at the right down corner of the calendar to see the name of her victim. 'Oh, Mini Anden. Never heard of her, … you, … doctor? Nice suit, Mini.'

At that, Carina had finally left his office.

'Damn,' Shapiro cursed again. It was only now that he figured out the meaning of her words. She needed medical 'help' even when she actually didn't need it. She needed an alibi while she was somewhere else, doing who knows what. And he had no choice but to help her. She could destroy his entire life in a minute even find a way to kill him.

Oddly, Shapiro didn't feel too worried. Everything she had told him over the last three years, … well, she kept her word. Subconsciously, he had nothing on her in his mind, to make him doubt her words. She had never let him down. Whether it was a good or a bad thing, a threat or a promise, she had delivered exactly what she had told him.

Thus, now that she told him she was about to only get into some technical violation of the rules, he instinctively took it at face value.

Well, what she had in mind this time was a bit beyond technical.

XXX