AN: Sorry for the delay on this chapter guys!! Alpha Lindsay hasn't been feeling well, so we just weren't able to get the chapter finished and posted. This is actually just part 1 of our originally planned chapter 7, hence why it's shorter than normal, but we figured you would like an update now rather than waiting even longer! Hopefully the next part will be posted in a few days and then we will get back on schedule with posting every Sunday. Thanks for your patience!

And don't forget, if you're into Edward/Jasper slash, check out Beta Britney's (Vampress911) one-shot for the Devirginizing Edward contest, entitled Need To Feel. The contest is still open for another couple of weeks so there's still time to submit your entries!

BPOV

Looking across the dank space that has been my "home" for longer than I care to admit, I see Edward's beautiful sleeping form. His strong, broad chest is rising and falling slowly with each inhale and exhale. His head is leaned back against the concrete wall behind him, stretching his lithe neck into a tempting position, and his shackled hands are resting in his lap.

He looks so peaceful and content in his slumber, as if we hadn't actually been kidnapped and tortured by a gang of rabid heathens… as if our reality was only a horrible nightmare.

I idly wonder if I would look like that in my sleep. Highly doubtful. Even if this was only a bad dream, if I wasn't actually chained to a damn wall, my reality before being taken wouldn't conjure up pleasant images in my head and cause me to look peaceful as I slept. I'm sure quite the opposite is true. My life before this wasn't much better.

But Edward… he's different. He has a whole amazing family waiting for him, probably frantically searching non-stop at this very moment in hopes of finding and rescuing him. He has people that care about him, that care what happen to him outside of these walls. Not me.

He probably led a blissfully happy life up until this point. He was probably the kid at school that everyone knows and likes and wants to be friends with. He was probably the person that every guy envied and every girl lusted after. I mean… fuck, just look at him. He's beautiful. I bet girls practically threw themselves at him. I honestly don't understand how he is still a virgin. Well… was a virgin.

The delicious soreness below my waist reminds me of last night and as I gaze at Edward, my mind replays it all… every moment, every kiss, every touch, every thrust, every sexy sound that escaped from his full lips. It was almost, almost, perfect… besides the sickly obvious reasons why it wasn't.

That time with him, being with him and being able to touch him, was the absolute best moment of my entire life, but the memory is saturated with my guilt. I should never have made that decision for him, forced him into having sex with me just because I was hungry and scared what Paul would do to me.

I look down at my thin, battered and bruised body and suddenly feel very self conscious. He must have been disgusted by me. It must have been so hard for him to touch me and be with me like that. He must have been imagining a different girl while he was with me, some girl he goes to school with that is beautiful and flawless and worthy of his perfection. That girl is definitely not me. God, I practically stole his virginity! He was probably waiting for the right girl, waiting to be in love, and then I go and decide for him that he will have sex with me. I didn't even give him the choice!

Making that decision yesterday was so selfish of me. I hated myself for ruining that once in a lifetime experience for him, but I guess part of me knew that if I didn't jump on the chance, I would probably never get it again. I wanted him and I wanted my first time to willingly be touched in that intimate manner to be done by him.

I didn't lie to him when I said I was a virgin, I was, but it wasn't the first time someone had touched me… like that. It's not an uncommon occurrence living in the group home. It had been humiliating and disgusting and filled me with so much shame that maybe there was some unconscious part of me that wanted to replace those bad memories with a slightly good one. Sure, it was still a fucked up situation, but being with Edward and being in such close proximity to him, I was able to get lost and intoxicated in his essence and forget where I was. But apparently I also forgot that by me making that decision for him, I would become the monster, forcing someone to do something that cherished and personal when they didn't want to.

I had become what I hate and it was due to pure selfishness and fear. I should have been stronger for him.

I remember how scared he was, how nervous he was. Hell, he was on the verge of having a full-blown panic attack because he was being forced to have sex with me! A few tears had even spilt from his gorgeous emerald eyes. That was the moment that I almost said no… almost.

I should have said no. I should have taken whatever "punishment" Paul had to offer and protected Edward's innocence. Sure, we wouldn't have gotten any food, but because of Embry, we'd stayed pretty well-fed so we weren't starving at that point. But I just wasn't strong enough. I couldn't resist the opportunity to touch Edward and when I finally did, the electric current that ran through my entire body made me feel alive for the first time that I can remember. Once I felt that, there was definitely no going back. The look in his eye, like maybe he felt it too, had given me a glimmer of hope that maybe… just maybe… he kind of wanted to be with me too.

Ha! Yeah right, Bella.

I had completely lost myself in the sensations he was making me feel, which only causes my guilt to multiply. I had enjoyed everything while he was probably suffering through it. He was so gentle and considerate and despite his claim to inexperience, every caress and kiss from him set my body on fire.

When everything was all said and done and Edward was being dragged away from me, it felt like my heart was being pulled from my chest. The constriction was so intense that I struggled to catch my breath. I kept my eyes locked with his, afraid to lose what little connection we had left. In that moment, I realized that I cared entirely too much for him. The act of having sex with him had been like him marking me, making me his for eternity, like he'd branded his name on my heart. Edward Cullen now owned me and he always would, but he deserved so much better than me, so I resolved to keep my feelings hidden.

The metallic clinking across the room startles me. Edward is shifting and slowly waking up. A quick glance to his boxers makes me smile. "Lover boy"… yeah, you could say so.

Edward lifted his head from the concrete wall and rapidly blinked his eyes several times before rubbing them with his fists. Everything he did was so endearing. I was really in way too fucking deep and I hoped that my newfound feelings wouldn't be so obvious to him.

His green eyes locked with mine and he gave me that sexy as hell crooked smirk. I couldn't help but smile back at him.

"Morning sunshine," I said as cheerily as I could.

"Morning Bella," he replied, his deep voice even huskier with the remnants of sleep.

We sat in silence for a while, neither of us sure what to say. I didn't really want to bring up the events of last night, but I felt ignoring them wouldn't be right either. Something needed to be said, but I just wasn't sure what that something was. Maybe I should apologize… tell him I'm sorry I forced him into that situation. Maybe I should ask him if he's okay? Maybe I should make a joke? Fuck, I don't have a damn clue how to handle this!

Across the space, I heard Edward clearing his throat awkwardly.

"Um… so, Bella… um… well, are you… are you feeling okay this morning?" As he finished stammering out his question, he looked at me with unsure but caring eyes.

"I'm feeling… good, Edward," I answered as I chuckled nervously. "Um, how 'bout you? You pretty much passed out after they left us alone. I hummed for all of ten seconds." I knew I probably shouldn't be teasing him right now, but I just needed to lighten the conversation. I had a better chance of hiding my feelings as long as things didn't get too deep.

"God, I'm sorry Bella! I guess I was just… I don't know… I must have been really tired from, well… from all the physical and mental exertion I guess." I hate to say it, but he was so fucking adorable in his uncomfortable state. If I had been able to I would have comforted him with a hug and a kiss, but I settled with a bit more teasing.

"Edward, it's okay… really. You're a typical man that falls asleep right after sex." If he only knew that he was anything but typical.

He grimaced at my statement and I instantly regretted the words that fell out of my big mouth. "I just mean that… Edward it's normal to be tired after that, so I'm not mad at your for falling asleep. I was just teasing."

His green eyes were still swimming with hurt. "Why would you joke around right now… after last night?"

His question threw me completely off guard. What the fuck was I supposed to say to that? "Oh Edward, I just tease to keep from telling you that last night was the single best moment of my entire life and oh… I love you and want to be with you forever." Nope, can't exactly say that.

"I don't know, Edward. I'm sorry for teasing you. It's just… well, I didn't want to have this awkward morning after conversation. And I didn't want you to feel like you owed me any sort of… I don't know… I mean, I know I was the one that forced you into doing what we did, so I just didn't want you to feel obligated…"

I wasn't sure what the fuck I was trying to say to be honest, but the pained look in Edward's eyes only intensified as I struggled through my half-ass explanation. He cut me off before I was able to finish though.

"OBLIGATED?!" he yelled at me. He'd never raised his voice at me, so it immediately shocked me into silence. "You think you FORCED me into having sex you? God Bella, are you fucking blind?!"

Blind? What did he mean by that? I was so confused. "Huh? What? No I'm not blind…" I squeaked out hesitantly.

"You must be blind if you think you forced me into having sex with you, Bella." His voice had calmed slightly, but it was still loud, forceful, and laced with anger and hurt… all because of me. I always ruined things.

Looking down and away from his eyes, I said, "Edward, if I hadn't chosen for you, if I had given you a choice, you would have decided differently."

"Bella, how can you be so sure of that?! If getting food was the only factor involved, you're right, I would have said no because I would never dream of putting you in the situation where you had to have sex with me in front of those assholes just for food! That's wrong and degrading and you deserve better than that, whether you choose to believe it or not. However, because Paul was also a factor in their sick little game last night, I wouldn't have chosen any differently than you did! There is no fucking way that I would let him… rape you Bella…"

His voice breaks at the end when he says my name, so he pauses and takes a deep, shaky breath as if he's trying to get a handle on his emotions. I can hardly believe everything he's just told me. He's acting like he really cares about me, the same way I care about him… but how could that be true?

"So don't," he sniffles, still regaining his composure before looking intently into my eyes, "DON'T you tease me and DON'T you say I was obligated and DON'T you act like last night was a mistake because… because it wasn't a fucking mistake, Bella."

Just as I'm about to give in and tell him that he's right, it wasn't a mistake, it was actually fucking beautiful, the ominous sound of keys turning in the lock stop me and I whip my head in the direction of the door. I hear Edward's breathing escalate with fear as the door opens and footsteps descend the stairs.

Seconds later, Sam, Paul, Jared, and Embry are standing at the foot of the stairwell. Embry shoots me an apologetic look before staring at the floor.

"Well, well, well… how are the lovebirds doing this morning?" Sam asks mockingly.

Neither Edward nor I answer. "Fucking answer me!" Sam screams.

"Fine, sir. We're fine," I answer for us both.

"Yeah I bet you are fine you little whore. Seemed like you really enjoyed getting a piece of Eddie's cock last night… a little too much in fact," Sam sneered at me with an evil grin.

"Yeah, Edward, how dare you cheat on me like that! I thought you wanted to be my lover boy," Jared said then pouted dramatically.

"So I thought to myself after leaving here last night," Sam started, ignoring Jared's comment, "what should we do about this new… development? Then it hit me, since you two obviously have formed some special bond and have no doubt grown accustomed to being together all the time, I thought… maybe we should separate you two and make this a little more like the punishment it should be and not like some fucking match-making service."

I could hear Edward's gasp across the room. I looked back to his beautiful face and the look of pure terror and helplessness made me want to weep. We had both begun to rely on each other's company, so much that I didn't know if we could make it apart. I feared that Edward was far too fragile to survive on his own. I needed to stay with him.

"Sam, sir, please… I'll do anything… just, don't separate us… please?" I knew I was begging and I knew that saying I would so anything was probably a big fucking mistake, but they could do anything to me as long as they left Edward alone and let us stay together.

Sam, Paul, and Jared broke out into a chorus of laughter at my efforts. "Damn Bella, you really are the whore that Jacob says you are huh? You just got some of Eduardo's dick last night and know you're begging for more!" Paul snickered evilly after he'd insulted me.

I glanced back over at Edward. He was practically hyperventilating by this point. I tried to calm him with my even stare, but suddenly Sam and Paul were unlocking my chains and jerking me up off the cold floor. Edward's eyes went wide with panic.

"Please… please! Just let me stay, please!" I was fighting their hold on me, but my struggle was useless. I was physically weak and lacking energy, while they were both far bigger and stronger.

As they dragged me towards the stairs, I looked back at Edward and tried to console him. Tears were freely running down his face, leaving clean tracks on his slightly dirty face. "Edward… Edward look at me! It's gonna be okay. You're gonna be ok, Edward! I'll be back."

"Don't you worry Bells, I will take extra special care of him for you," Jared sneered as he ran his fingers through Edward's unruly bronze hair. Edward flinched at the touch.

"Don't you fucking touch him, you son of a bitch! Leave him alone!" I screamed, all the while still being dragged further and further from the boy I now knew I loved more than my own life, more than anything.

"Hey now, Bells. You got to have your fun with Edward. Now it's Jared's turn. He'll be gentle," Sam whispered in my ear before throwing his head back and laughing.

Before Edward was completely out of my sight, I saw Jared kneel down to get eye-level with him. Jared was stroking his cheek and saying something that was too low for me to hear. Edward's eyes were squeezed shut, tears still overflowing. Embry stood away from them, staring at the ground.

"Edwaaaaaaaard!" I screamed as Sam and Paul dragged me out of the shelter and into the bright sunlight. The light was so bright and overwhelming that I had to squint my eyes. I stumbled a bit, but they just kept dragging me along roughly. My chest was heaving and I was gasping for air. I felt like I was sobbing, but without the tears.

Paul and Sam stopped walking long enough for Sam to slap me hard across the face. "God would you just shut the fuck up!" He yelled at me before everything went dark and fuzzy.

Later when I regained consciousness, I looked around frantically and realized that I was in the woods and I was tied to a tree. I pulled on the restraints, but they were tight and wouldn't budge. I took in my surroundings and all I could see in every direction were trees and more trees. I tried screaming out for help, but my voice only echoed and was met with silence.

I was alone. Edward wasn't across from me. Edward wasn't there to help soothe my fears and worries with his beautiful face or crooked smirk or joyous laugh. And I wasn't there for him. God only knows what Jared was doing to him!

I pulled again on the ropes around my wrists, but my efforts were pointless. After a few more minutes of struggling to get free, I finally gave up and hung my head.

For the first time in a long time, I let myself cry.

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