Chapter two

Familiar sounds

My head snapped up like I had just woken from a dream. I was trying to sort my head out, to block out the pain, though it wasn't there. I knew the numbness wouldn't last long; I had been through this so many times. What on earth is Vivian doing? Why was Will so locked up? I noticed someone's thoughts; not human, vampire. I had the strange feeling like I knew them vaguely, recognised them. I ran around the forest, as I had done a thousand times, and it felt like déjà vu. I tried to figure out who it was, but I had no clue. Just as quickly as I heard it, the thoughts stopped. I was so interested in that feeling that I knew that vampire that I not thought to tell him/her I was there. It could have been an old friend, someone lost. One thing I was not prepared for was the pain. It felt like the anaesthetic had just stopped working, like someone had thrown tons of weight into my chest and ripped my chest out at the same time. I couldn't breathe, though I was sure I wasn't hurt.

"You're making yourself like this, Anne. You need to think your way out of this. Believe that this can get better, because you know it will. Trust me, Anne. No one can bear to see you like this. We love you." Vivian had said that once, a few weeks after Oscar had left me. I was crippled, like someone had stolen something from me, a limb...no, my heart. My heart was stolen, gone away with Oscar forever. She hugged me, never gave up helping me when I slipped back into misery, sure that the numbness would help.

That's it.

That's it!

The numbness, the pain... It was him. I'm sure it was. I knew it was familiar, gorgeous scent which covered the air around him where he walked, the way he changed his thoughts every so often (not that I could hear them, but I could read the mood in which his thoughts were to make it more noticeable when I interrupted them. It was helpful sometimes), like trying to creep on stairs that kept creaking...I ran as fast as I could to follow the scent which was now literally dead. I tried my best, but after countless attempts, it was gone. Why didn't I enter his thoughts then? Why? I could have told him I was there; he would have come running...No he wouldn't. I had forgotten he didn't want me. He wanted his brothers and sisters. That's who he was with now. I needed to concentrate on that. Yet I felt empty again. So many things happening in one day...or how long had I been here? Quite a while, I figured. I needed to see Will again. To see exactly what Vivian had said before she left. I needed to know...

I ran to university. It was closed, and I checked the clock inside. It said 3am. William would be at home now, surely. He would need to guard his house at this time in the morning, after all... I ran to Will's house, about 8 miles south. I flew open the door impatiently, and scanned the house in an attempt to find him. He was in the kitchen, staring at a letter a little obsessively. His thoughts were troubled. He heard my approach, and slowly lifted his head to look at me, his lips in a tight line, his face strained. That was nothing compared to his eyes. He looked like he was in agony, like he was being stabbed repeatedly, but had grown so numb to the sharp pains he stopped flinching. It reminded me of someone in a picture I had seen once, a poor girl, so...empty. Like there wasn't a reason to live. I managed to keep my face blank as I realised in my head. He looked like me. Exactly like me, when I was out of control. I got distracted by this for a few long seconds, staring at his agonized face. Eventually, he managed to keep himself in control enough to speak.

"Hey." He managed to whisper.

"Will, I –" I started, speaking urgently.

"I know. I heard everything. I saw him." He let his eyes drift to the window when he spoke, unable to meet my eyes.

"What? When? Why didn't he wait for me? What was he –" I stopped myself. He wasn't here for me, obviously. Something had to be wrong though, but wouldn't he have stayed if he needed help? I started to worry. What had happened? Why wasn't he here now? Where was Vivian? I'm sure it had been more than a few days now, if I had stayed in the forest that long. Why didn't Will look for me? The pain I had been able to control before I came here after many tries had returned, and I clawed at my chest, falling to the floor like someone had shot me right in the heart. How could it still hurt after all this time? How did I still remain? Surely there was nothing left; he had taken it all...

Will walked slowly toward me, and hugged me.

"I'm sorry Anne, he didn't stay long. He came to tell me about Vivian." He flinched then, and his voice broke on the last word. I hugged him just as tight, trying to read his face, his tone of voice, and his thoughts. I was in such a state I couldn't remember how to do anything, and almost fell when he let go of me. I picked myself up, trying to grasp whatever defence I still had in my heart against everything to remain upright, keeping in the conversation. "What – what did he say?" I stammered. I corrected myself automatically. He didn't say things, oh no. He whispered things, in a soft voice, like butterfly wings that made me so happy, ever so happy...

"Vivian wants to leave, search for her sisters and brothers...or that's what he called them. I remember her saying she couldn't take me with her, because –" I knew this part too well to let him finish.

"Because they would reject you – you weren't there when they were created." I whispered so softly that if Will were human, he wouldn't be able to hear. Shock crossed his face. Then he sat cross-legged on the floor, staring at me. I was calculating things in my head. Vivian didn't have any brothers or sisters, because she was alone when she was created. I kept my face smooth, unreadable. So it was all just a lie; a pitiful, unconvincing lie.

"It wasn't her speaking. It wasn't him speaking yesterday, either. I'm certain. No one could cause that much pain to someone without an explanation. Her eyes were dead when I last spoke to her, like they were frozen..." Was it really yesterday I had noticed him in the forest? It seemed like seconds ago. He seemed relieved that he was sure about this. "It's something else – something controlling them. They wouldn't say the exact same words if they were themselves...I mean, Vivian would say sorry..." He trailed off, rocking silently.

"You don't know how much Vivian might want this. She might be so obsessed with what she wants, she wouldn't spare a thought for you," I contradicted, stung. He didn't know Vivian better than I did. No-one knew Vivian better than I did. But still, I hadn't ever seen this side of William before. He had always seemed like a very decent, sincere person. Yet he was lying. I could tell, by the way his face twisted, unsure of even himself. He looked at Vivian like she was the purest gold he had ever seen. Like a diamond, and vice-versa. He seemed so wobbly, like a child taking its first steps. He was concentrating, concentrating hard on what he was saying. I could feel it in his thoughts, his frustration, the way he frowned in a certain way...it was like...he was dying, dying inside. I tried to keep my voice steady while I argued. I knew he was right, I had proof, but somehow I couldn't bear the thought of him working with me to get them back. I would work alone – keep him here to make sure the others were safe.

"You don't know that for sure. You can't know that for sure. His thoughts were very different in the forest, I can say that much. I could barely read them. But you can't see into his head. You can't prove it wasn't him and something else. And Vivian seemed fine to me. Maybe they both just want the same thing, and Oscar gave her a few lines." I whispered, my voice breaking in weird places. I was trying too hard. I would have to concentrate on happy things, happy things...

"No. Trust me on this. They weren't speaking properly when they spoke. They were machines." He told me, closing his eyes. I couldn't trust Will. I couldn't trust anyone. My best friend, of whom I had trusted with all my soul, had just taken advantage of that. What was left? – Nothing.

"But what can we possibly do, if that's the case? It's been 24 years for Oscar, if he's been possessed for this long like you say, I'm not sure he would –" I wouldn't let myself think that. There's always hope, There's always hope, I began chanting to myself in my head. There's always hope...

"Maybe...if we find what it is, we can plan from there...but Anne. You know that if we find that it's, well...too late," There's always hope, there's always hope... "Then we have to do whatever we can to escape. It won't be about Oscar, or Vivian, if they are past help. It will be about the next people to be killed by whatever it is. You can't sacrifice yourself if it's too late. We have to think ahead. How many lives will be ruined if we decide to take our feelings into the matter?" He stopped to look at me, his face cautious. I kept my face blank, unreadable. He pursed his lips. There's no hope, my painful side started singing. It was like it enjoyed being ripped apart. I winced, trying to compose myself without much luck. I almost growled in focus. There's no hope, no hope, oh, there's no hope.

"I want you to promise me that you will help even if Oscar is...it's too late. You have to prepare yourself for this." He rubbed his hand against my arm.

"You might not be right – how are you so sure? You've only just suggested it. It could be anything!" I started panicking, and I dug my nails into the floor.

"I've been thinking about it since she said it. She looked at me almost like a robot, designed to say those words, and then she...vanished. I felt nothing but disbelief the next day. When you noticed she was gone, I thought it over in my head the whole time, and it turns out to have some proof. If Oscar said the exact same thing, then Vivian surely wouldn't have said it. She would have known it would upset you. When she looked at me the last time, I saw nothing but deadness. Anne, something isn't right."

I know that, Will. I've noticed it over the past few weeks. Something hideous is doing this. We don't have a chance. But maybe that's good. I give up with it all, trying to live another day, trying to last, while this pain is eating me. Will, I don't know how long I can take this. It's killing me. If this doesn't kill me, then something else will. And I'm prepared for this; I would rather this kill me. At least then I know what happened. Hell doesn't seem that bad now. It's an answer to this pain. I know I don't deserve to see him in heaven, but it will stop the pain. Like aspirin. It seems like such a good option. There's no other option, that's why. Will, tell me the other option if there is one; One without pain, without love, without a dead end. There is no other option. I need to end this.

"No." He whispered. "You've lasted this long, Anne. You can still go on. You need to. What would Paul say, and Ruby? What would Violet say, and Richard? Imagine them there at your funeral..." He said, looking at me with concern.

I can't go on. I can't even speak, Will. It hurts too much, he's taken everything. He's taken my heart, my soul, my mind and my actions. Nothing that I do helps with this pain. It's all controlled by him. I'm possessed, but not dead yet. It hurts too much, Will. It hurts...

"Then don't do it for him. Do it for the people that will be next in line, the next to suffer. Let your anger decide, Anne, and tell me then you want to stop this. You can't let them die, and let it carry on. I won't succeed alone. I need you with me."

He stared at me for a long time. But the thing was, I had already decided, really. I would do everything, absolutely everything in my power to help the next to suffer...that's all I could bring myself to do now. We sat in silence, and when the sun started to rise, we watched it. William closed his eyes, and his thoughts were planning. He was very sure of it now, and he wasn't going to change his mind. I, however, had a lot more thinking to do. I wasn't the type of person to leave things half-finished, but I never made a decision final. I had to get someone to do that for me – Anyone. I fought with myself, wondering when to speak, but whenever I took a breath my stomach flipped and knotted and I stopped mid-breath. I was angry, but I was scared. I was scared, but I was focused. I was mixed up, so unsure, yet sure of some things. I decided to say what I thought out loud, in an effort to clear my head.

"This isn't about us now. This is about them." I nodded stiffly.

"You're doing the right thing, Anne." He agreed. I sighed.

"The pain won't stop, though, right?" I asked weakly. His eyes tightened. His own pain was in his eyes, and I already knew the answer. He was dealing with this better than I ever would have. I admired him, in a way; but not in a way to make me respect him. Part of me, subconscious but growing more awakened every second, blamed William for this. If he hadn't brought her into a relationship, this wouldn't have hurt her or him. He would be happy, blissfully unaware of this unseen force stealing vampires from around Dallas.

"No, I'm sorry. But it's the price you have to pay for them, saving them. They will owe you so much, Anne. I wasn't sure if I could bring myself to tell you about all of this, but I'm glad I did. Anne, Vivian would have died long ago without your help and support. She needed you as much as you needed her. You're doing this for her, too, and Oscar." He added quietly. I closed my eyes, not able to think of that. He was earnest, and I counted that as a good thing. He wouldn't lie to protect me, and I would know only the truth. That would help me keep a grip on myself.

"For them and only for them; I can survive for them. You will make me survive, wont you? You will help me through this?" I looked at him, and he was staring at me, a new expression in his eyes. I hoped he didn't notice the two meanings in my words. I didn't want to lie to him, but I wasn't able to trust him like he trusted me straight away. I still had a lot to ask.

"Of course," He whispered. "I will help you through all of this. It's what I will do to repay you for your generous sacrifice for them." He hugged me close, and then let me go. "I know how hard it is for you. Just think of all the happy endings when you save them, right?" He said, his eyes burning into mine. I flinched. I saw him trying to probe, pushing into my dark secrets. I kept my guard up, not weakening at all. Though now, I assumed, I was weaker than ever. He knew that.

"Right..." I whispered, turning away.

There is no happy ending.