Chapter five

Now or never

"So let me get this right, you've never tasted human blood?" I asked incredulously, staring wide-eyed at Bella.

"Not since I was created. When I was human I did, because the baby was thirsty. But I've never actually killed a human or drank their blood since I've been a vampire." She said, playing with my hair. We were friends already, and only been together a week.

"But that doesn't really count, because your only two years old." I said, grinning at her. She grinned back, her white teeth gleaming.

"I suppose; but I want it to stay that way, however old I am." Edward came over then, and by now I was used to him listening to everything we discussed and what I thought. Bella did her best to protect me when it annoyed me but it required concentration, and Edward had tricks to distract her if he wanted to. It was a situation I would love either way, so I gave up easily enough. I waited patiently while he kissed her, probably just to annoy me. I could tell that they really loved each other by the way their thoughts changed in mood when they were around each other, so it didn't really matter that much to me. I just wished it was me and Oscar. Bella and Edward knew about this, and had stopped for a while, but it really got on my nerves when all they thought about was kissing each other when I was around. So I said fine – go ahead, embarrass yourselves in front of me. It wasn't so bad here, I must admit – hunting trips (for animals, I learned), games with Emmett (mostly wrestling) and baseball when there were storms were very distracting, and kept me "entertained" as the Cullens would put it. Only one thing worried me – William. Everyone was being very gentle with him, though he assured them that he was fine. I saw the pain in his eyes, and so did the others. It worried me. I jumped up and realised that I had been staring at them both during my thinking, and they were startled.

"Sorry." I muttered, and went up to my room.

Yes, my room. They had cleared out a room of what Esme called "bits and bobs" to clear space for me. I refused at first, but then the room called me and I got attached. I was getting so used to this; I was worried if I would ever be able to leave. Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, Renesmee, Bella, Edward, Carlisle and Esme all seemed part of a new family to me. I constantly checked the news for anything in my area in Dallas, but found nothing. Alice knocked on my door.

"Can I come in?" She asked her voice light. I cleared my throat.

"Sure." She came in skipping, like she had good news. I became more alert.

"What is it?" I wondered.

"Well, I saw you liked my clothes I put in for you..." She trailed off, absorbed in her own thoughts. She could predict if I would accept whatever was coming, anyway.

"Well, yes Alice. You have great taste in fashion." I said, smiling at her. She bounced up and down, clapping her hands.

"Great! It's finally time someone noticed! Bella has always hated the fact that I don't like to reuse clothes, and I only pick the best. It's wonderful to finally find someone who notices my talent!" the words came out in a rush, and she hugged me. "I'll be right back, Anne!" She called as she ran to her own room. She returned not a second later carrying two large suitcases. I eyed them cautiously. She laughed at me.

"Well, how much do you like my clothes?" She asked, raising an eye brow at me.

"A lot – I never dreamed I would wear things like this." I picked up the white skirt I was wearing and the pure white long sleeved frilly blouse I was wearing with it. She smiled at me, and I was sure she was overjoyed.

"Well, this is an early birthday present." She said opening the suitcases of clothes. They were all outfits of light colours, white, baby pink or blue, cream and a nice rose colour. I gasped in admiration.

"What do you think?" She asked nervously. I was silent for a moment, marvelled at the clothes – and then threw my arms around her. She knew this was coming, and held her arms out expecting me. The words came out in a mumble.

"I love you Alice. This is the best present ever – really." She hugged me then reached for a blue outfit of a clingy silk shirt and silk trousers.

"Try this." She said as I whipped them on, and she disposed the outfit I was previously wearing.

"Wow. I look so..." I admired myself for once.

"Beautiful? No one dressed by me ever looks the opposite." She said, grinning. I hugged her again, and bounded down the stairs, Alice by my side. Edward and Bella were discussing something, they were both whispering. Emmett and Rosalie were at their house, and Jasper was waiting for Alice. Esme complimented me as I came down the stairs.

"Anne! That looks perfect on you; absolutely beautiful!" She said, hugging me. I smiled at her.

"Thank you." I replied, excitement gushing out of me. I knew Jasper could do this, but I was excited anyway.

I was a little sharp with Bella these days, and the truth was that I was a tiny bit jealous of her. Edward was so...perfect. She acted like he was any other person; except for of course she loved him. It made me angry to think she left him for granted. I was dying to impress Edward, and when he smiled at me, I was beaming. He whispered in Bella's ear.

"Mmm, that would look so good on you, love." He chuckled, and Bella kissed him. Before I could see what Edward was about to do, I turned away, smile faltered a little. I bounded back upstairs to the privacy of my room, and let my thoughts shatter me. My pain was now something else, something else entirely.

On the one hand, I really yearned for Oscar, for him to be happy, healthy, and I loved him.

On the other, I yearned now for Edward. It sent chills up my spine, but it was true. I yearned to be Bella, to be married to him, to have his child, to be with him during the long nights...

I couldn't let myself think like that. I came here to get Oscar back; of course. I was just so crazed by my ache for Oscar I was going mad. I needed to explain to Will.

Will, I need to leave soon. Let's get this show on the road, okay? We need to do whatever we can for these murders, and get back home.

I heard his steps to my room, and he knocked on my door.

"I'm in." I whispered. He came in, and stood frozen where he was, looking at me in a peculiar way. He clenched his jaw, and his eyes turned black like coal.

"What....what was that...Anne?" he asked, obviously an effort. I was puzzled by his ragged breathing, his eyes, and his glaring. He had deep coldness in his eyes, like he was fighting himself.

"Um, there's something I don't like about this place anymore. So we need to stop wasting time and start doing what we came here to do." I stammered, put off track by his slow approaching. He finally managed to relax his mouth to speak properly.

"What is it you don't like?" He asked, as if worried by my dislike. He sat next to me, staring at me. It was very distracting.

"Nothing important – It just throws me off track. I think we need to start doing something, regardless." I stared in wonder as his hands which were clenched into fists and he whispered in my ear.

"It's important to me." He whispered, and I shivered. He leaned closer, starting at me intently. Then I heard someone whip up the stairs. It was Edward, holding Bella's hand, dragging her with him. Edward stopped at the door, staring hardly at Will.

"William, get away from Anne." He said calmly, though his eyes were nearing black with anger. William ignored him, leaning closer. I shivered again.

"William." Edward said coldly, stepping forwards. I heard Will catch his breath. He removed his hand from my neck, and ran out of the room, out of the house, probably to the nearest bus stop for shelter. That was his usual spot. I couldn't let him suffer like this because of me.

I'm sorry.

I kept on trying to talk to him, but he ignored me or wanted to think my words over before he saw me again. Edward had returned back to his house with Bella afterwards, leaving me alone. Did Edward act out of jealousy, or for our sake? I knew our lives would be ruined if I had let Will say those magic words, Oscar would leave me, Vivian would leave him...But it pained me to have these questions building up. I decided to ask Bella as soon as Edward was away. It was lucky it was her turn to look after Renesmee as he went hunting a few days later, and it was the best chance I had.

"Bella, I was meaning to ask you something." I started with that, it was the most casual. She turned to look at me, and left Renesmee playing with Charlie. He was a regular visitor here; I learned that he was Bella's father, and he was attached to Renesmee, like everyone else. Was I the only one who saw her as a danger, a weapon?

"Yes, Anne?" She replied, totally polite. She was like Edward in every way but one – he was perfect, she had some flaws. Charlie interrupted us.

"I'll be off now, Sue's making lunch..." He said gruffly, trying to be inconspicuous about inspecting my expression. "Cya Bells," They hugged for a brief moment, and Bella called after him as he left.

"See you later, Dad." I waited until Charlie was safely in his car, and started again.

"Um, the other night, with Will..." I trailed off, letting her work it out.

"What about it?" She asked, staring at me.

"What did Edward say to you about it?" I asked, and if I could blush I'm sure I would have.

"Well, he didn't say much, he was very distracted afterward." She ducked her head, and I'm sure if she could blush, she would be tomato red. "He wanted to protect you both from yourselves. He knew from your minds that you both wanted love and care more than anything else – as it had been heartlessly ripped from you. We both understand, but I would also like it if you stopped showing interest in my husband so clearly." She giggled on the last part, and I was shocked. Was I that easy to read? Oh my god, I have made a real mess this time, I thought. But she winked at me.

"It's just him who knows, he can read your mind even if the confinement of your room." She said in a clearly disapproving tone.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that –" I started.

"Don't worry; he shouldn't have listened to you so much. Besides, I can sympathise. I know what it's like, having your love taken away by either safety or evil." Her voice lowered. "And the Volturi have never made it easy, but this time, it's their fault. Our only problem is sorting the problem." She sighed. "I'm not mad at you, Anne. I know for one thing that Edward is mine, not to offend you, and I know what you are going through. But if you let William carry on like this, and yourself, it will leave its mark. Trust me." She pressed her lips together, and I knew that this was all that she was going to say. I thought about what she said for a brief second. She was blaming me for William's mistakes? She was so confident that I wouldn't be able to get Edward? A growl bubbled to my chest – I tried to shake it off, to calm down, but I didn't. It ran through my head – she was criticising my actions, and not thinking about the stupid things she does? I heard myself shouting, screaming at her, hissing. I cornered her, making sure that she couldn't escape. Bella instinctively grabbed Renesmee and shielded them both – smart of her. I could hear people approaching fast, leaping towards the house, but I ignored whatever was coming. It could have been werewolves for all I cared. My focus was on Bella and Renesmee. I had to make them see what they were doing wrong – open their eyes, make then pay for it. When I was a few centimetres away from Bella, she put Renesmee behind herself; her face froze in its expression. Her eyes turned black, and she was hissing now, too. I wasn't scared at all by this – she hadn't had very long to learn how to fight – but more encouraged. As we lunged for each other, growls erupted constantly and we spat at each other. I hadn't seen this side of Bella before, so I didn't know what to expect. She had quite a few tricks, but I knew them. Once I caught Renesmee, and sent her flying into a table. She was unharmed – anyone would have seen that straight away – but Bella screamed at me, thrashing, our fight increasing in tempo quickly. Renesmee ran back to us – not even a scratch left, of course – and almost caused her own mother's death. I used Bella's distraction as an advantage – fully absorbed by the kill – and in a few seconds my teeth were at her throat, arms locked around her head. But then, Bella was extremely lucky. By the stories I had heard of her, even as human, she would escape death. Even as a vampire, the luck remained. The only thing that stopped me tearing her apart then was that Edward was in the doorway. His face was excruciating to see – his face was twisted with horror, frozen like ice, disgusted and infuriated all at the same time. His eyes were flat black when he saw us both. His nostrils flared, his hands balled into fists, and he let out a wild roar.

"NO!" He was by us in the same instant, picking up Renesmee and letting her down outside the door. He slammed it shut, then stood a few feet away from us. I was breathing again now, gasps of air against Bella's neck. I could see now that Bella was scared – but of me or Edward, I couldn't tell. "Anne." He growled the word, his emotions covered, the anger controlled for one second in an attempt to stop me from killing his wife. And, sure enough, I slowly released my hold on Bella. She seemed to compose herself, and stood frozen still. Distracted by Bella, I didn't see Edward flatten me against the wall, his strong long fingers wrapped tightly against the tops of my arms, his beautiful face almost frightening with anger. His eyes were still jet black, and his face now showed fully the amount of anger and pain he was experiencing. Before I could properly read his expression, his teeth were at my neck. How on earth had this happened? I thought I was the one who was going to murder. Bella spoke up then.

"Edward, don't," Her voice was barely a whisper, broken by pain or fear, I still didn't know. His eyebrows narrowed, his glare now more ferocious, and very, very slowly he tilted his head around to see Bella.

"She tried...She doesn't deserve to live." A slight shudder rippled through me as I realised he was talking about me. Bella shook her head slightly, her expression pitied.

I heard Edward take a deep breath, and he let me go, taking a step backwards. He was glaring at me still, his hands now clenched, taking deep breaths in an attempt to stay calm.

"I don't want you to be near her." He whispered to Bella, and she quietly walked out. Trying to seem casual, even after everything, I walked after her. His voice whipped me, low and harsh.

"Not you." I shivered. He took a few steps towards me, short steps, enough to make my breath come in gasps and my head running with unwanted lust. I looked up, into his eyes, and they were still dark, cold; unemotional. Suddenly, as I looked into his eyes, I felt the need to cover those few steps of space between us, to get closer to him. When I heard Renesmee's high pitched voice, I also felt the need to hurt both her and Bella. I pressed myself to Edward, forcing myself on him. My lips found his, and my lips parted. I suddenly felt warm, high. I felt brave. My arms wrapped around him, making him unable to escape. I crushed myself to him, fully aware for a few short seconds, he was kissing me back. All I could focus on was the fact that I loved him – not the fact that he was in love with Bella, not me, not the fact that he had a child, and not the fact that he would be letting me go. Much too soon, he turned into cold stone, a rock. His lips pressed together, no response from them. His arms locked into place by his side, and his breathing stopped. He was glaring, and the phrase if looks could kill would do brilliantly here. A growl burst from him, and I pulled away. Bella was in the room now, looking anxiously at both of us. I knew she hadn't seen anything – she would be more than anxious if that had happened. Somehow, Edward tensed even more, his back to Bella, and whipped around to face her. In the moment I knew I wouldn't get again, I ran from them, running to my room. I had no idea what to do, but I suddenly realised there was something I needed to clear up. I went to talk with Will – I knew he was in hearing range, so I used his mind instead. I decided to tell him nothing of what had happened, but to cover our own troubles.

Will, I want to tell you something – I think we should stop ourselves from letting our friendship get out of control. You know the trouble it will cause if we were to be selfish and unfeeling like that – we would both regret it. I love you as my best friend's husband, Will – nothing else. If I were to become irresponsible and selfish because Oscar is not here with me, then it would be wasted. And I'm sure you feel the same way. I'm truly sorry.

And then I waited for Edward. I wasn't sure what to say, but I knew I could do nothing else.