The scent of the wolf was on his clothes. He had managed to make it out of the castle and back to the forest without being seen, taking refuge briefly in an old secret passageway he remembered, but he could not escape that scent. It filled his head and caressed his flesh like the hands of a lover. He closed his eyes, and again saw eyes like molten gold staring back at him, wide with shock.
If the tingling he had felt before had comforted him that he was not broken after all, the sensations currently coursing through his body unsettled him deeply, and he knew they were not going to go away on their own.
Eyes still closed, head tilted back against the rough bark of a tree, he let his shaking hands find their way to the lacing of his torn and filthy trousers, yanking them open and imagining Remus's fingers, and not his own, stroking the hot, sensitive flesh. Not Remus as he had seen him this morning, gray and worn from a lifetime of suffering, but a Remus who was as young, fresh, and alive as he had been the first time they had made love.
They had spent the summer before their sixth year at Hogwarts in a haze of joy fueled by kisses and mostly-innocent touches, until the day before the August full moon, when Remus had had to leave James's house and return home for his transformation. On that day, Sirius had experienced his first taste of the wolf, and it had left him wanting more.
During their first days back at Hogwarts that September, Sirius had tried everything he could to shake loose Remus's normal reserve and get him to show his hidden passionate nature again. Remus had refused him, afraid of losing control and maybe hurting Sirius in the process. But the danger was part of what excited Sirius so much about Remus.
The night before the September full moon, days before Remus's birthday, Sirius found his chance.
The waxing moon brought on other changes in Remus than his monthly transformation. Sirius had noticed for years that Remus became grouchy and irritable in the days before the full moon, but it was not until his fifth year that he had realised Remus's increasing moodiness was a symptom of sexual frustration. Remus tried to be quiet on those nights, but Sirius - always hyperaware of the other boy - knew when he was having a wank. If he needed it so badly, maybe this time he wouldn't turn Sirius away.
Sirius had been right. Their first joining had quick and almost violent, Remus taking him roughly as the wolf overwhelmed his senses, unable to show any care or regard for Sirius's tender innocence. It had been painful, terrifying, exciting. Sirius had imagined a thousand times what it would be like to be with Remus, but he had never imagined being so thoroughly dominated by the usually quiet, studious boy. It had left him breathless and eager for more.
And how Remus had looked after. Oh, God! Tousled and spent, his skin slick with sweat. It was the most amazing thing Sirius had ever seen, and he treasured it.
They had spent all that night in each other's arms, and Sirius had awoken the next morning to find Remus watching him. The silencing charm he had placed had worn off the bed curtains in the night, and he could hear James and Peter moving about the room.
Remus had put a finger to his lips, then moved closer to give him a thorough good morning snog, bare skins pressed together, legs intertwined. Remus had nuzzled his ear and neck, breathing deeply and forcing Sirius to stifle a giggle.
"What are you doing?" he whispered.
"Memorising how you smell right now," Remus had breathed in his ear, making him shiver. "Happy-Padfoot-first-thing-in-the-morning is going to be one of my favourite scents, I think."
Sirius had submitted to being nuzzled for a moment, then, "Moony?" he murmured.
"Hmmm?"
"We had sex!" he whispered, delighted.
He felt Remus grin against his collarbone. "I know!" He had sounded both pleased and surprised by this revelation. He raised his head, a look of concern in his eyes. "How do you feel, Padfoot?"
"Like I was trampled by a stampede of centaurs. But in a good way." Sirius grinned. "You?"
Remus had looked thoughtful, then raised a hand to Sirius's cheek. "Like I can't stop touching you. Ever."
"Moony?" called a voice from outside the closed drapes.
Remus sighed. "Yeah?"
"You coming down to breakfast?"
Remus rolled his eyes and reluctantly let go of Sirius to stick his head out from between the curtains, kneeling on the bed.
"I don't think so, Prongs. I'm - er - not very hungry this morning."
Sirius could almost hear the puzzled look James gave him. Remus was always famished the day before the full moon. "Okay, mate. Well, we'll save you some in case you change your mind."
"Thanks," said Remus.
"Do you know where Padfoot is?"
Playful fingers caressed Remus's balls, causing him to bite his tongue. "I - uh - I think he already went down."
"Right," James said doubtfully. "See you in class, then."
Sirius heard the door close behind them.
"Padfoot!" Remus had admonished. "Do you want them to know already?"
Sirius grinned. "C'mon. How long do you think we can keep this a secret?" He kissed Remus back into a horizontal position, then murmured, "We've got ourselves about half an hour of privacy."
"So what are we going to to with that?"
"I believe last night I said 'do it again'."
Remus's breath caught in his throat. "Are you sure?"
"I'm sure," Sirius had said earnestly. "But - slower this time, maybe."
Remus nodded, gold eyes wide and intent. "I - I want to see your face this time, Padfoot," he said softly. "I want to know what it's like for you."
In answer, Sirius lay back, pulling Remus down to his mouth for a long moment. Just kissing Remus had been exciting enough to make him want to do more, and just then, he had wanted to do a lot more very badly. He pressed his hips up against the other boy, and their cocks slid together, making Remus moan against his mouth and press down in response.
Sirius had parted his thighs and drawn his knees up to make room for Remus between them. He gasped as Remus's exploring fingers wrapped around his cock. Remus drew back, and when Sirius opened his eyes, the other boy was watching him intently.
"God, Padfoot. You look -"
"What?" Sirius whimpered, arching against Remus's hand.
"Like you're mine," Remus had growled softly, bending his head to bite Sirius's lip.
Sirius felt the hand stroking him move caress his balls, and then warm, calloused fingers were sliding across his arsehole, massaging him until he moaned out loud.
"Make that sound again," Remus demanded, pressing a finger inside him.
Sirius had obliged, and added an almost canine panting whine this time.
"Damn," Remus breathed wonderingly. "You do like this, don't you?"
"Said - I did," Sirius had panted, squirming against Remus's hand. "God, Moony! Please -"
Remus had made a pleased sound in his throat. "Oh, I like that. Say it again."
"Please, Moony!" Sirius begged, moving his hips urgently.
"Please what, Padfoot?" Remus was clearly enjoying Sirius's torment far too much. "What do you want me to do? I want to hear you say it."
"Fuck me, you goddamn kinky bugger!" Sirius had gasped.
Remus's mouth had found his again then, hungry, demanding. The tormenting finger had been withdrawn, and Sirius felt the broad tip of Remus's cock pressing against his entrance, felt himself opening to the slow, relentless pressure. He gasped, then relaxed under Remus's kiss as the boy buried himself to the root inside Sirius.
"You feel so good, Padfoot," Remus had breathed. "Does it hurt?"
"No," Sirius whispered, wide eyes gazing up into Remus's.
"Good."
Remus had begun to move, slowly at first, his hand finding Sirius's cock again, and matching the rhythm of his hips with steady strokes. The feel of Remus moving, sliding, possessing him deep inside was indescribable, changing what he had thought he knew about the pleasures of the flesh, and the hand on his cock was quickly driving him to the point of no return.
Sirius raised his hips to meet each thrust, taking Remus as deeply as he could, his body demanding hard use at the hands of the other boy.
"God, Moony!" he gasped. "Harder! It feels good!"
"Come for me, Padfoot," Remus had panted. "I want to see you."
"Just don't stop - don't stop - Moony!"
An exultant cry burst from the lips of Sirius Black as he sat beneath a tree in the Forbidden Forest, fist wrapped tight around his cock as he jerked and moaned and spilled twelve years of pent-up longing over his fingers.
Afterward, he lay in the cool, dawn air, his heart rate slowly returning to normal. And he remembered. He remembered the stunned expression on Remus's face at the depth of Sirius's response to him. He remembered Remus's groan, and his forehead pressed against Sirius's sweaty shoulder, and he remembered actually feeling Remus come, deep inside him.
"I am yours, you know," he echoed his own words of so long ago. "I have been for a long time."
And then he slept and dreamed of the glorious days that had followed.