Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
I was fifteen when Alice Cullen came to town, she was Carlisle and Esme's niece and had come to stay with them as she was prone to ill-health and her parents hoped the change of scenery would do her some good, or so Carlisle had told me.
Alice Cullen was a pale frail little thing, who wore cotton under her vest to protect her chest from the cold and wore two duvets on her bed no matter how hot it was.
In truth I wasn't too keen on knowing her, but Edward Cullen had passed by me on the porch, grinned and asked me to 'keep an eye on the little one', jerking his head at Alice and walked off.
Alice was nice, opening up after a little while. She liked clothes and cooking and was sweet on Jasper Hale within her first week of arriving.
Jasper Hale was what Emmett called 'the golden boy of Forks'. He was wealthy, good looking, smart, good at sports and was expected to go far by the whole of Forks. I wasn't sure if Emmett meant it as a compliment, but he was Rosalie Hale's brother and Emmett and Rosalie Hale didn't talk anymore so I didn't think it was a compliment.
I didn't see Edward much still, I did see him once coming out from behind the diner with Emily Stanley, Alice had asked me what I thought they were doing, but I didn't say, in case she went back to Carlisle and told him, or worse Esme.
I still sat on Carlisle's porch every evening, Alice had sat with me the first night we met, but it was awkward and so instead she kept Esme company inside while Carlisle sat with me.
Rosalie Hale came by for Emmett's birthday this year, not that that was strange, she always did but this time Emmett actually let her inside. She wasn't there for long and they didn't talk much but he let her in, and that had to count for something.
Rosalie Hale kept coming by, never for very long but Emmett started calling her Rose again. Rosalie Hale was very pretty, she had long blonde hair and wore bright red lipstick. She smacked together her lips when she talked and flipped her hair over her shoulder. I never really talked to her much but she always smiled and said hello when she saw me.
I went away that Summer with Alice to stay with my aunt Nessie, I changed that Summer, I was a little bit taller, my hips widened a little and chest was that much fuller. My hair grew out and it got a bit of a wave, framing my face and the childish plumpness went out of my cheeks.
I looked older and just a little more like how Rosalie Hale and Emily Stanley looked, I looked pretty. My aunt Nessie said it was good that I had hit that stage while I was there, she said it 'woulda' done me no good to hit that stage in a house only with men'.
Boys looked at me now, they said things I didn't understand and when I told Emmett about it, the next time I saw them they had a black eye.
When I came home from Aunt Nessie's Alice and I went to her house, Esme had kissed my cheek and told me I was looking swell, Carlisle patted my head as he had done since I was a child and welcomed me back.
Edward Cullen had strolled down the stairs, took a double take when he spotted Alice and I. It sent curious tingles through me, the way Edward looked at me, his eyes trailing up and down my body.
He had stared a moment longer before shaking his head and his eyes grew serious. He muttered a short hello, pulled on his shoes and walked out the door, slamming the door on his way.
I had innocently asked Carlisle if something was the matter with him but Carlisle just shook his head and grinned.
I saw Edward even less after that day and with time I saw Carlisle less too. Alice started wearing that same lipstick that Rosalie Hale wore and she wore heels now too, even though she wobbled when she walked in them.
Jasper Hale asked her out to the movies and she said he's been real sweet, opening doors for her and the like. I had wondered if Jasper just did this so that Alice would let him kiss her, but I figured she would've let him anyway.
Jacob Black asked me out too, his hair was greasy and tangled and he was missing two teeth. Plus I knew for sure that he had been behind the diner with Leah Clearwater only the day before he asked me, so I said no.
Jasper Hale started hanging around us more and more, and he held Alice's hand a lot too. I was wary of him at first, he was quiet, serious sort of person. He was nice though and when I'd asked Emmett he said that Jasper Hale had never been behind that diner in his life.
Jasper was only a year older then Alice and I and he was already stressed about college and his future. Jasper and Edward didn't get along much, I assumed it was cause Edward didn't want him around Alice but he never said anything about it to me.
I had just turned sixteen when Mike Newton tried to grab my chest out by the old park. I had pushed him off and told him my pa would have his shotgun on him if he didn't hurry off soon. He ran off and I had sat down on the swings and cried.
I had been scared and wanted nothing more then to run to Emmett. But Emmett had told me once that he couldn't fight all my battles and I had to stand up for myself.
I had been sniffling and cursing Mike Newton when I heard someone call my name. I turned and saw Edward Cullen walking towards me. His friends were calling him back from behind him but he just told them to go on.
His friends jeered him and took long swigs from a brown paper bag before handing it to the girls with them. I recognised Emily Stanley, Leah Clearwater and standing to the side wearing a short skirt and shivering was Jessica Stanley.
Edward had grinned and said hello Bella. His voice didn't waver like Emmett's did when he was out drinking. I mumbled a greeting of my own and ducked my head shyly.
Edward plopped down beside me and pulled out a box of cigarettes, he offered me one but I shook my head. Edward grinned and said "S'pose you wouldn't want your pa finding out now would you?", in his curious accent, a mix of Esme's gentile southern and Carlisle's northern accent.
I shook my head but I was pretty sure he wasn't looking for an answer. Edward lit his cigarette and took a long drag from it. He grinned and asked me what I was doing out here.
I ignored his question, because I didn't think he'd care anyway and instead asked him why it was he didn't go to college this year, I had asked Carlisle once, but he just shrugged.
"Esme begged me to stick around another year", he muttered, shrugging. "I don't know why", he said "Not like I'd be going far".
"You gonna' go next year?", I asked curiously. Edward nodded simply and took another short puff of his cigarette.
"Emmett's still at his apprenticeship down at the garage", I said conversationally. Edward looked thoughtful and said slowly "He back with Hale?".
"Yes", I said gently "They seem real happy now".
Edward offered me a genuine smile and said "I always knew those two would end up together, one way or another".
I studied Edward for a long moment, he seemed older in that moment then he ever had before, his eyes were bloodshot and red, his face unshaven and rough and his lips chapped.
"You alright Edward?", I asked, so quietly I could barely hear it myself.
He sighed and slowly pushed himself on the swing "Bella", he said "Did you go behind the diner with Jasper Hale?".
I jumped slightly and looked at Edward for a long time and for the second time that night; tears were rolling down my cheeks.
Edward ran his hand down his face and huffed "Don't cry Bella".
I told him then that I had not once been behind that diner with anyone, not a soul. Edward didn't say anything.
"Who told you that?", I asked immediately. Edward stared hard at the ground and didn't answer. "Did Jasper?", I was suddenly worried for Alice, what if Jasper Hale wasn't who we thought he was.
"Naw", Edward drawled "Not him, that's for sure".
I asked Edward if that was why he didn't like Jasper, because he thought he would hurt Alice. Edward had given me a strange look and muttered 'something like that'.
I had wanted to ask Edward who it was who had told him that I went behind the diner with Jasper, but he spoke first.
"Well what are you doing out here Bella?", he gave me a pointed look and motioned for me to speak.
"I was upset".
Edward's eyes grew concerned and his voice softened "How come? Did you have a fight with Alice?".
I told him Alice was just fine, and so was Emmett and pa. "Mike Newton tried to grab at me", I whispered it so quietly, suddenly aware of just how dark it was out.
I didn't think it was worth telling Edward about, I didn't think he would care but he surprised me by growling and clenching the chains his swing was held up by.
"Where?", he demanded, his eyes dark and angry. I was too embarrassed to speak and instead motioned to my chest.
Edward's mouth was set in anger but his eyes seemed relieved.
"Mike Newton ain't worth dirt Bella, you stay far away from that boy and his friends", he growled, aggressively spitting at the ground "You hear?".
I nodded and Edward sighed. He stubbed his cigarette on the ground and told me he'd walk me home.
I ignored the fresh little butterflies I felt and followed him silently. Alice had told me once that when a boy was sweet on you he'd offer to walk you home. Even though I knew Edward was just making sure I got home safe, it still made the hairs on my arms stand up.
We didn't talk much on the way, Edward strolled along with his hands in his pockets while I wrapped my arms around my torso and shivered.
Edward frowned impatiently when he noticed I was cold and gruffly handed me his jacket without so much as a word. I had seen boys give girls their jackets in the movies and it always seemed sweeter then, but that was just Edward and it still warmed me all the same.
His jacket smelled of smoke and diesel. It was a little like how Emmett smelled after a day at work, I liked it, it was very familiar.
Edward had fallen into step beside me, watching his breath in the cold air. "It's cold tonight", Edward stated. I nodded and noted how abnormal that really was in this town.
Edward mentioned that 'Hale' had better have Alice in out of the cold 'or else'. I had smiled to myself, knowing he was worried about Alice getting sick. Not that it made much difference if it was cold, Alice would get sick no matter what the weather. It was something I had come to expect of her.
"Edward?", I mumbled from beside him "why did Rosalie and Emmett stop talking for all that time?". Edward let out a weary sigh, as he did whenever that question was asked.
"How old are you now Bella?", he asked, his eyes perusing my body as he spoke.
"Sixteen", I said slowly. I was suddenly aware of what Carlisle meant when he said that Edward and I were close in age. Before Edward had always seemed older, with more experiences under his belt, or maybe because he had always hung out with the older kids like Emmett. Edward was only two years older then me and Emmett was three years older then him.
"Yeah I guess you are", he agreed. "I suppose you are old enough to know what really happened then". I nodded emphatically, eager for the answers they'd always refused to give me.
"But Bella it ain't pretty", he said, his eyes suddenly wide, begging for me to understand "Your gonna be mighty angry when I tell you, Emmett was". Edward winced and amended "Emmett still is".
I told Edward to hurry on and tell me cause we'd be coming to my house soon and I was cold. Edward laughed and nodded.
"It happened you know when you were thirteen, I was fifteen, Rosalie was sixteen and Em was eighteen". I nodded, I remembered a good portion of that year being devoted to the silence left over when those three stopped talking.
"I was going through some stuff, lots of stuff really and I kept finding myself getting angry with Emmett", he explained. I asked him how come and he said it wasn't really all that important, it didn't really matter anyway.
"Well I never really liked blondie", I must have looked confused to Edward because he laughed and informed me that blondie was Rosalie.
"But I did want to get back at Emmett", Edward said as he pulled out another cigarette. "It was stupid really, but I was just a kid and I was taking everything out on someone else".
I listened in silence, watching the perfect rings Edward blew with the smoke "Hale was always a flirt, she liked Emmett plenty but she had daddy issues and wasn't particularly faithful."
I bit my lip, sensing where this story was going "So long story short, I flirted a bit with blondie and convinced her to come out behind the diner with me".
At my shocked expression Edward shrugged and said "Why do you think half this town hates me so much Bella? That's just one of the shitty things I've done".
"And I guess it just hit Emmett harder then I had thought it would, cause to this day your brother still treats me like a stranger".
Suddenly anger rose in me, sure I loved Carlisle and Esme Cullen like they were my own parents, Alice was my best friend and I was damn sure I was in love with Edward Cullen, at least a little, Emmett was my brother and I had seen first hand the damage he had done. Even if I didn't know then what it was he had done.
"Can't you see why?", I demanded "he loves her".
I almost wanted to apologise when I saw how sad Edward looked, but no matter what, family was family.
"I know", he breathed.
"But Bella", he whispered "I didn't get off scot free while Emmett was in pain, I lost a lot that day too".
Although I knew it was true, Edward had lost his best friend, the respect of the town and the respect of his parents, my brother's heart was broken and even if it was years ago Edward wasn't going to get off scot free with me either.
"Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?", I spat.
Edward shook his head and smiled sadly "Told you you'd hate me".
My shoulders sagged and I sighed "I don't hate you Edward".
His head shot up and I saw pure shock on his face. "You don't?"
"Naw, after all I promised your pa I wouldn't give up on you, and I don't break my promises".
"Thank you Bella", he smiled sadly and opened the rickety gate leading up to my house for me.
He glanced up at my house and saw that the lights were off and Emmett's battered old car wasn't in the driveway. "Bella?", he murmured.
"Hmm?", I fumbled with the key as I unlocked the door and jiggled the handle a little. "Could you do me a favour?", he pleaded.
I turned and nodded as I opened the door and gestured for him to tell me.
"Don't tell Emmett I walked you home".
I shot Edward a curious glance but he just smiled and said good night before turning and walking towards his own house.
I looked over to Edward's house and wondered what he would do now, would he spend time with Esme and Carlisle like I hoped he would, would he drink and smoke in the confines of his bedroom or worse, would he call Emily Stanley or Leah Clearwater and invite them over. Either way I would never really know because after all, I was just the girl on the porch.