Ah, the second chapter. Did you actually make it this far? Well...

Can't you feel the trees blowing? Can't you feel like you can paint with all the colors of the wind? Can't you feel like this is going nowhere? Because it is!

This is the story of Pocahontas, but too bad that it won't follow the story plot just like the last story! This is the story of a young boy called Poca-Jaden and his two friends Ruby the raccoon and Kuriboh the hummingbird that really don't show up in the story. I hope you enjoy!

"Poca-Jaden! Poca-Jaden! It's time to go back! Come down from that cliff!" yelled Poca-Jaden's friend, Alexis at the bottom of the cliff in a boat in the river.

"Okay!" Poca-Jaden yells at his friend and jumps off the cliff and into the water.

"Not like that you idiot!" she yelled at the water. "Poca-Jaden! Come on! We have to go! Where are you?"

Poca-Jaden rose slowly above the water on the other side of the boat and thought it would be funny if he tipped the boat over. So he did.

"AH! Poca-Jaden! What the heck is your problem?" Alexis said when she caught her breath.

"Ahahaha! You wanted me to come down from the cliff so I did!" he said happily.

"Yes, but not that way and I didn't want you to tip the boat!"

"You're a fun-sucker!" Poca-Jaden pouted.

"Whatever. Hey, where is Ruby and Kuriboh?" Alexis asked.

"Who cares? Let's go!"

They got back onto the boat and paddled away, leaving Ruby and Kuriboh alone on the cliff.

"Ah! Poca-Jaden! Alexis! You're back! Just in time to celebrate the return of the warriors and Aster (Kocoum, Pocahontas's finance)!" said Poca-Jaden's father. Alexis left to assist the other part of the tribe to prepare for the warriors' arrival.

"Poca-Jaden, come with me. I have something to tell you," said his father. He followed him inside the main hut and sat down. "Poca-Jaden, as you know, once a year there is one straight marriage that is not against their will."

"And that's relevant to …what?" he asked confused.

"Aster has asked your hand in marriage and I have accepted it."

"But I don't love him!"

"Yes, but to make the plot roll along, you have to marry him, unless some foreigners come along and disrupt our ways of life. But that's so unbelievable so you're going to get married," he said seriously.

Poca-Jaden ran out of the hut in frustration. He couldn't believe that he had to marry someone who says the word destiny every two seconds!

"Grandmother Willow? Grandmother Willow? Are you there?" Poca-Jaden said to an old willow tree who was right on the water.

"Yes my child. I am here. What is troubling you?" said the tree. "And why are you calling me Grandmother Willow? I'm not that old and my name is Yubel!"

"Yes, but Grandmother Willow sounds less demonic. Anyways! My father just told me that I have to marry Aster," he said gloomy.

"That weird warrior who says destiny ever two seconds?" she asked.

"Yeah. What should I do?"

"Well, the plot is going nowhere right now so all you can do is marry him, unless you want to climb a tree and look at the ocean for no reason."

"I think I climb a tree." So he started climbing Grandmother Willow though she said in the background that she didn't mean to climb on her.

"Oh my god! Look!" said Poca-Jaden.

"I can't. I'm a tree smart-ass!" she yelled at him.

"There are two very big clouds moving towards us!" he said ignoring her.

"Those aren't clouds, they're sails. Go child, go see who they are. I'm pretty sure you won't get raped or killed by foreign men who haven't seen a woman because they've been on a ship for months!" Seriously…

"Okay," he said happily. "Hey where have you two been?" he said to Kuriboh and Ruby. "Whatever let's go!"

At the shore

"Okay men, this place must be loaded with gold because it's logical! So everybody grab shovels and start digging, and sing a song because I'm very bored! I would help you dig, but I'm too rich to do it!" said Chazz.

"But sir!" said Syrus, "We don't know any songs because the writer is writing form memory and forgot what song we sang in the movie! The only song she can remember is Can You Paint with All the Colors of the Wind? And that song is not sung by us!"

"Then sing Hero's Come Back from Naruto Shippuuden! I love that series!" he said very psychotically.

So while they were singing Hero's Come Back, one of the men snuck off and went to explore. Guess who it is. JESSE!

"I wonder what kind of resources are here. Maybe they invented a new form of frills here. This is so cool," he said sitting on a tree branch really, really high up off the ground. "I feel so giddy."

"Woah!" he said when a creature approached him. "Hey there little guy," he said to Ruby. "Do you know what kind of resources are here? Possibly a hot man… or woman… or man?"

She (I always thought Ruby was a girl) looked at him then started digging through his bag.

"Hey! You thief! Give that back!" he said as Ruby stole a compass.

Jesse chased Ruby until he accidentally knocked into Poca-Jaden.

"Ow," said Jesse. "Cool! A Native American! How do you do? Would you like a cup of tea?"

"Damn not another Brit. (I have nothing against them!) My name is Poca-Jaden! What's yours limey?" (No offence!)

"My name is Jesse! Isn't it weird that we can understand each other? Hahahahaha… ha."

"Yep! It is. Well, I must go now to marry a guy who says destiny every two seconds! Bye!" he said as he started to leave.

"Wait!" said Jesse as he grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"What?"

"You mean a man can marry another man here?"

"Well, yeah."

"Yes! I'm finally accepted! And people will understand my frills too!" Jesse said happily.

"Okay homo. Can you let me go now?" he said in monotone.

"Sure! Goodbye!" he said as he left.

"Damn British."

"Where is Poca-Jaden?" said his father.

"We do not know chief!" said the villagers.

"Here I am!" said Poca-Jaden as he popped up out of nowhere.

"Poca-Jaden! I'm glad you're here! It's not safe outside the village anymore! There are weird men who sing foreign songs about a hero coming back!" said his father.

"Cool! I mean… cool!"

"Besides, you are about to get married to Aster tomorrow!"

"Aw! That's gay!" he protested.

"Yes, it is a gay wedding! Now go to your hut."

So Poca-Jaden left, but instead of going to his hut thing, he left the village because he has ADHD and can't stay in one place for too long.

On the way to where ever Poca-Jaden was going, he ran into Jesse.

"Oops, sorry bro!"

"Oh, hey Poca-Jaden! Where are you going?" Jesse asked concerned.

"I don't know! Just, somewhere away from my village!"

So as those two talked about their life because it's polite to talk to foreign strangers, they did not notice that Aster was hiding in the bushes watching them, and opposite of him was Syrus and a few other men.

Aster got super jealous because destiny said it was them that were supposed to be together! So Aster came out of the bushes with a random club and was about to attack Jesse, but Syrus (OMG!) shot Aster.

"Oops! Sorry!" he yelled.

"Oh well, I didn't want to marry him anyways," said Poca-Jaden.

"Okay then. Jesse! Grab your life partner and let's get the hell out of here before a bunch of enraged Indians come!"

"Hey, we're Native Americans!" Jaden yelled. "And I'm not a gay!"

"Wait, a gay? Déjà vu," he said. "Never mind. Okay, let's go!" Jesse picked up Poca-Jaden bridal style and ran off with the men. And a day later they left the continent after they killed Chazz because he was too annoying. In addition, they lived happily ever after, where society didn't question Jesse's frills or Jaden's skin… or sexuality.

Plot, what plot?

Next Chapter Cinder-Jesse!