A/N--Warning: I'm attempting to delve into Shibi's past. Because the manga does not explore either of Shino's or Tenten's past, I am creating one that I think is plausible--for the purpose of this story! Now, I know that as soon as I do this, Friday's Naruto Chapter will delve into it, and I will be completely wrong ;) But bear with me. I'm going somewhere with this, I swear.
Please read and review! This is my first REAL Tenten/Shino fic--and I really do think they make a wonderful couple (and quite plausible)!
And on to the good stuffs...
Shibi looked over Tenten's face. He wasn't sure what to make of her sudden request. It took a lot to catch him off-guard, and this was definitely a lot. He could tel that Tenten was distressed--that much was evident by the tear-stained face and puffy eyes. On top of her appearance, she had managed to intentionally slip by his sentries, unnoticed. He made a mental note to speak to those buffoons as soon as she left the Aburame Manor. He would pretend that he had set up a secret drill, testing their astuteness. Yes, that would do, he supposed. Hell, even he hadn't really noticed her presence until the floor board creaked as she slipped through the doorway to his study.
He carefully studied his son's lover. It was unusual for the calm and collected Tenten to be so...distraught. She was trained in stealth and prowess; she was also trained to be uncompromising, emotionally. That was the first rule of being in ANBU: never let your emotions get the best of you. If you do, it is imperative that you do not let it show. But, something must have seriously disturbed this young woman, as she was clearly emotionally compromised. And he had no clue as to why or how. Shibi gathered that it most likely had something to do with Shino. But, he did not know Tenten well enough for her to seek his help or advice on any matter regarding the older Aburame's son.
He was surprised to find that he was increasingly concerned about Tenten's current well-being. "You are sure that you want my help?" his voice was calm and smooth.
Tenten dropped her eyes, subtly nodding her head. "I do, Aburame-sama."
"Shibi," he hoped the calm in his voice would soothe her.
"Shibi," she replied softly.
"That is much better, Tenten-san. Please, no formalities," he offered. He absentmindedly stroked his beard. "What is it that I may...help..you with?" he spoke slowly as if his mind was trying to process her earlier, heartfelt request.
"I..I wish to ask you, er, certain questions," she hesitantly answered.
Shibi chuckled. "You do not need to become so upset over a matter of asking me for answers."
He immediately sobered when Tenten's distraught nature did not remit with his good-hearted humor. "I apologize. This is obviously a serious matter," he concluded. "I only hope that I can be of some assistance to you, Tenten." He leaned his arm against his desk, he was becoming increasingly nervous in regards to what she could possibly ask.
So do I, she told herself. So do I. She daringly raised her eyes to meet his dark glasses. "I do not wish to offend you...Shibi," she whispered. "But I would like to ask...er, a few things."
He had a feeling that there were more than just a few that she would like to ask. "Go on," he nodded solemnly. "I'll do the best that I can."
Tenten's head was pounding with a million questions, but she knew the one, crucial piece of information that she needed. It had been something Shino had said to her, about choosing between two lives. She did not understand the cryptic message behind his words.
"I wish to know more about Shino's mother," she spoke slowly, each word an effort for her to utter. Her eyes did not leave his face as she continued, "...about your wife."
Every muscle in her body was tense with anticipation. She did not know what to expect from Shibi's reaction—as she knew next to nothing about the mysterious woman who had given birth to Shino. She let out her breath, realizing she had been holding it for some time. How long had she been holding it? Her palms burned form where where here fingernails were digging into the tender skin. Still, no response from the Aburame leader. She could hear her heart beating in her ears, the blood pounding with each passing second. Was it possible that he had not heard her? If she hadn't known better, she would guess that the older Aburame was a statue. He held himself deathly still, and Tenten was concerned that she had induced a heart attack.
"Excuse me?" he whispered weakly when he finally spoke. Tenten thought he sounded as if he was hoping—no, praying—that she hadn't just asked that question. She felt her heart leap into her throat. She knew she would have to repeat those words.
"Your wife..." she trailed off; surely she didn't need to repeat herself again.
The same response. His face was a pale mask; his eyes hidden behind the dark glasses. Not one muscle moved. Nothing. The heavy silence was making it difficult for Tenten to breath. She began to stand, deciding against pushing the issue further.
"My a-apologies, Aburame-sama. Forget--," she stammered hopelessly.
"Silence!" his voice was deep and commanding. His knuckles were turning white, from how he was gripping the edge of the desk.
With a yelp, Tenten dropped onto her knees; her head bowed in reverence. She couldn't tell from his tone whether or not he was angry. Sweat began to bead along her forehead; she could feel it gathering on her lower back, as well. She tried to concentrate, forcing her heart rate to stabilize and decelerate. But, the stress of not knowing what type of request she had just made jostled her.
She sat in that position for some time, unsure of just how many minutes passed by as she furiously wished she hadn't asked about Shino's mother. Part of her was desperate to understand why Shino so fervently refused the idea of having children. She was almost positive that it had something to do with the loss of his own mother at such an early age. But, it was the circumstances surrounding her disappearance that baffled Tenten. Perhaps if she could just find out a little more....
"Firefly," Shibi whispered.
Tenten raised her head, looking at the man in confusion. Though she couldn't see his eyes, she knew that he was looking past her, as if he was seeing his memories in the far off distance.
"I-I'm sorry," she replied shakily, licking her lips. "I d-don't understand."
She watched Shibi frown, as he realized he spoke aloud. "Her name. It meant 'firefly'," he murmured. "That was the first thing she had ever said to me." A small half-smile formed on his lips as he remembered that encounter. "I had been a young ninja at the time, spending most of my time alone out of circumstance. Not many people were interested in a family of bug ninjas."
"I see," Tenten replied. She really didn't. Maybe he would keep talking....
"Hotaru," he whispered, as if his body was alleviated of some great, invisible weight. "She saw me sitting in the forest. She was not afraid of me, or my kikkaichu. Instead, she approached me, watching my tiny beetles float in the air as she announced 'my name means firefly'. I think," he looked at his hands, "that she thought it gave us something in common."
Something about Shibi's tone and posture changed as he shared this fond memory with Tenten. She had a feeling that this woman had been quite a site to behold. She had no doubt that Shibi would not marry just anyone. No, this woman would definitely be caring, considerate, passionate, and strong-willed—all the thing that Tenten would expect from an Aburame matriarch.
"We were inseparable from that day forward. We were only children," he spoke softly as he watched his hands shake with emotion. He quickly placed them under his desk, hoping Tenten did not see them.
But she had. "You don't have to speak about her. My question was off-base, and I will accept the consequences of my brazen actions."
"Consequences?" he echoed, angling his head as he looked at Tenten. He stared thoughtfully. "No. No consequences, Tenten. I should answer your question, it is apparently important to you."
Her cheeks began to redden at this, and she nodded her head. "It...it would explain much," she offered weakly.
"About Shino?" he guessed. His hunch was confirmed by another nod. "I see." He took a deep breath. "I have never spoke about this to Shino, I must confess."
"Never?" she replied quickly, her tone more reprimanding than she had intended. Her hand shot up to cover her mouth.
Shibi shook his head sadly, "Yes, I admit I have failed my son in that aspect. He deserves to know about his mother. But, it was always something neither of us knew how to talk about, much less broach." His explanation made sense to Tenten. She, too, had lost her parents, forced into a life of hardship.
"That does not make you a bad parent," she explained, "that was not my intent--"
"It wasn't?" he asked, his tone betraying his serious expression. "No, I suppose it does not. It is a difficult subject for me as well as my son, I'm sure."
Tenten remained quiet as she fumbled with the fabric of her pants. She didn't want to interrupt him, hoping her silence would instigate his explanations. Luckily for her, it did.
"We married when we were both about your age," he confessed. "It was the happiest day of my life." He smiled faintly, again, as he was lost in thought. "Until she became pregnant." His smile faded.
"With Shino?" Tenten interrupted, unsure of what to expect from Shibi's story.
"No. No, Shino was the final product in a line of failed pregnancies," he confirmed.
"I-I'm sorry," Tenten blurted, kicking herself for interrupting, instead of listening.
"For what?" A crease was forming between his brows. "You did not cause those miscarriages. No, it was something wrong with her cervix—making her prone to premature labor and expulsion of child." He traced invisible patterns on his desk with a pale fingertip, as if marking the number of children they had lost. "Five," he whispered. "Five miscarriages. She was devastated. I was only concerned about her well-being and health. Why? Because we could always try for another child. But, I think she knew that my appointment as the clan's leader depended on producing an heir."
"What?" Tenten spat. "That's so much pressure!" She could only imagine how Hotaru had felt!
Shibi nodded, "That's exactly how I felt. I did not care to be leader, especially not under those circumstances. My cousin could take over the clan. I would have been content with my life...with only her by my side." He whispered the last part, as if he regretted what would come next. "My mother had died during my birth, so I was aware of the strain that carrying a child could have on a woman. Too many things can go wrong. Sometimes," he glanced in Tenten's direction, "I do not think women get enough credit for their role in childbirth."
Tented felt her face grow hot. Did he know? She was answered by his smooth voice calmly recollecting events that had happened over two decades earlier. "But, she became pregnant again. I still remember the look of joy on her face as she told me. She said she could feel that this child was going to be the one." He shook his head sadly. "We were such fools!" He didn't elaborate on that statement, and Tenten wondered if there was any significance to it.
"Everything went perfectly. Just perfectly. The calm before the storm," he looked around the room. "There's always a calm." Tenten was listening with wide-eyed anticipation, leaning forward on her knees.
"It started with the headaches. Then her blood pressure became too high—too unstable. Her legs began to swell. I found her seizing on the floor one day, after returning from my a mission. It scared me immensely. I had no idea what was happening—or what to do, for that matter. She was almost to term by then, only weeks left until the predicted due date."
"Please tell me you retrieved a physician?" Tenten hoarsely pleaded.
Shibi nodded, slightly. "At that time, there were few trained medic-nin in Konoha."
"What?" Tenten roared. "F-few medic ninjas?"
"Tsunade had deserted the village, and it was not the priority of the shinobi of Konohagakure to produce medic-nins. The ones we did have were few and far between. And most were not very skilled. There were mid-wives to help with childbirth," he confessed. "I was able to retrieve one of the better ones. Rin. She was Kakashi's teammate during that time. She was a very promising young woman. She diagnosed Hotaru with a condition known as eclampsia."
Tenten shook her head. She was not familiar with medical terminology or diagnoses outside of fractures and dislocations. That was Ino and Sakura's territory. Shibi understood. He would have no idea about the condition if he hadn't experienced it first-hand.
"It's a condition that occurs during pregnancy, it's etiology unknown. Regardless, the woman develops high blood pressure, leg swelling, headaches, blood and urine complications, and eventually, seizures. It's the seizures that make it so dangerous. Rin had wanted to birth the baby then and there—she said it was the only way to alleviate the condition." Shibi could remember how strongly Hotaru had pleaded against delivery, begging Rin to help her carry the child for a few more weeks. Rin had been against the request, but Hotaru had a way with people. She was lovable and charming, and she turned it on when she needed to. It had worked, and Rin had forbade her from leaving her bed until she went into labor.
"What happened?" Tenten asked, her voice proving her gross interest in Shibi's story.
"She was put on bedrest, despite Rin's opposition. Hotaru was given medication to help stabilize her blood pressure. Though," he smiled, "Rin had to promise it would not harm the baby." Hotaru would do nothing that would risk the baby's health, even save her own life.
"She carried the child to term?" Tenten asked hopefully, assuming this child was indeed Shino.
He nodded, but Tenten could detect some hesitation on Shibi's part. She didn't press the issue, and he continued, "She had another seizure after two weeks. She begged Rin to allow her to carry the child as long as she could, but Rin was concerned about Hotaru's heart." Shibi remembered how he had begged Hotaru to think about herself. But, she had merely smiled and told him not to worry, their beautiful baby would be here soon. She had shared the name she chose for the child, a little boy. Shibi had professed his admiration for the name, saying everything and anything he could to keep the smile on his young wife's face.
"Rin delivered the baby. The labor was uncomplicated. A healthy baby boy," he smiled—something that Tenten did not see him do often. She saw Shino do it even less.
"Shino," she whispered.
"Yes," he replied softly. "That was the name she chose for him." He thought about how beautiful mother and child looked together. It immediately became the happiest moment of his life: his pride and love combined into one joyful moment—it was too good to be true. She had kissed Shibi lightly, reminding him that he would soon have an entire clan to lead.
"She did it for me. She thought it was what I wanted," he whispered. His face suddenly became serious, and Tenten knew that the storm was about to rear it's ugly head.
"But something happened?" she felt her stomach sink.
Shibi nodded, dropping his head into his hands. The words he had written ten minutes earlier suddenly looked blurry through his glasses. He closed his eyes, trying to recollect himself.
When he spoke, his voice as thick, "From the weeks she had remained in bed, a clot had formed in her leg. Because her blood pressure had been unstable, the clot was able to loosen and travel to her lungs. That was what Rin was truly worried about. That was what she wanted to prevent. She couldn't treat it while Hotaru was pregnant, as the treatment would risk harming the baby." He slammed his fist onto the desk, startling Tenten. She did not speak, waiting for the conclusion of the story.
"She had a heart defect," he shook his head sadly, as if he should have known. "Normally, as Rin had informed me later, it isn't a problem. But in the case of a lung clot, the tiny hole can allow the clot to travel to the brain."
"Oh no!" Tenten gasped, understanding what Shibi was insinuating.
His face had become more pale—almost sickly. He swallowed before speaking. "When I took the baby--Shino--to my father for the kikkaichu injection, as is my clan's custom, she waited patiently for me to return. She was so confident that the his little body would take to the insects," he sighed. "While I was gone, she started to complain of vague symptoms. Within moments, she was a shell of her former self." He could still remember the shock, anger, and fear that filled him as he entered the delivery room and found a handful of people working on her body. She was still warm to the touch. Her brain was still functioning, but how long it would keep her alive, Rin couldn't predict. It had been quick and painless for her, and that was all he could ask for. The only comfort he had in the years to come was that she had seen their son, and their last words to one another had been an expression of their love.
Tenten could feel the tears fall down her face; they silently hit her hands. She did not attempt to wipe her eyes, allowing her tears to fall unbridled. She could see the emotion on Shibi's face, and she was sure this was the first time he had spoken about Hotaru's death in a long time. Perhaps ever.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry, Shibi."
"I am too," he replied softly. "For allowing her to feel like she had to provide me an heir. If only I could have told her how I felt," he confessed, "then maybe she would have allowed Rin to deliver Shino early." He shook his head, as if in a silent debate. "But, I doubt she would have agreed, even then. She loved her son. The son she lovingly carried for nine months. No, she would not have had it any other way. She would have still given up her life for him."
Tenten's body heaved in sob, as she mourned for the valiant woman she would never meet. Shibi waved around the room. "You can see her sacrifice was not in vain," his voice was mocking. "I am the Head of the Aburame Clan. My son is the heir. But, we are a cursed lot."
"What do you mean?" Tenten asked, suddenly surprised at his vehemence.
"It should be obvious, Tenten. Did you not listen carefully? My mother died while I was an infant. I, too, was born out of the notion that an heir was needed to carry on my father's lineage. My father's mother also passed away under similar circumstances. Hotaru as well. So, you can see, it's a curse."
"That's purely circumstantial evidence. Merely coincidence!" Tenten replied, her voice more shrill than she anticipated.
"Coincidence?" Shibi repeated. "I hope so, but I fear not."
"It is! You have to believe that you are not cursed," she spoke quickly.
"Circumstance and history have told me to believe otherwise," Shibi replied sadly. "I have no other choice than to believe that."
"To believe your own wife died due to circumstances that you could control? You really want to believe that?" she asked, incredulously, her eyes filling with tears. "Surely you are joking!"
When he didn't reply, she continued, "No wonder Shino does not want children. He thinks he is the cause his mother's death, that it was his fault!" The words were tumbling from her mouth as her mind reeled from Shibi's learned helplessness. "What's worse is that you're insinuating that the women are the victims of such a curse! They are the ones that sacrificed themselves for the well-being of their own children—to your family," she was breathing heavily, a wave of hysteria coming on.
"Tenten, that is enough!" his voice rang out. Tenten blinked, her head swimming with unspoken thoughts. "I have told you what you have come for," he studied her carefully, confused by her sudden outburst. "But, before we discuss this in further detail, you owe me an explanation."
"Huh?" she blinked again, confused.
"Why is it important that you know about my late wife? What has happened with Shino?" he asked, his voice concerned about his only child. Despite his often aloof nature, Shibi was quite protective of his son. Shino was his beloved reminder of the wife he had loved more than his own life. More than his own heritage.
Tenten stared for a few moments, her mouth opening to speak. As quickly as she opened it, she closed it. "Tenten?" Shibi pressed. "An explanation?"
Before she could collect her thoughts, the words spilled from her mouth."I'm pregnant," she shared her secret. "With Shino's child. Your grandchild."