Thanks for the reviews and reads--you are all so very wonderful!
I don't see to much Shino/Tenten fanfic out there, and I hope I do these two SOME justice ;)
Feel free to let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto
***
Shibi leaned back in the armchair, his body sinking into its familiar mould. He had spent many nights reclining in this very chair, thinking about things that he had stowed away in the back of his own mind. He closed his eyes, allowing his body's heaviness to pull him farther into the shabby chair. He sighed; Shino would be here soon, that much he could tell. It was the quality of the energy that his son was giving off that allowed the older Aburame to guess that Shino was in close proximity. His son's chakra disturbed his own kikkai, as they buzzed angrily beneath his skin.
Yes, it was only a matter of time....
As if in confirmation of his thoughts, Shibi heard the door open swiftly, swinging violently on its hinges. His kikkai writhed uncomfortably inside of him, as if they were anxious of Shino's rage. Perhaps he should be, as well. Instead, he remained still, his eyes shutting out the world around him. He had been thinking ever since the young woman had barged into his office, confiding in him her secret. A lot of thinking. Had he really lived with these false beliefs--these delusions--that his fate was inevitable? That belief would require that his son's fate be pre-determined as well?
He had sheltered Shino the best that he could, never speaking of the things that had hung between them. All these years....
Shibi had failed his son.
He had failed his wife's memory--her very existence. It had been easier for him to believe in those delusions. It was easier to believe that her death was out of his control. Because of fate, not because of her own free will. Not because she had wanted the beautiful, gifted son that she had borne into this world. No, that would force Shibi to blame his son for his wife's death. It was his birth, after all, that had ultimately led to Hotaru's death. And he couldn't blame his only blood kin for that.
No. It was easier to blame fate.
"Father!" the angry rumble of Shino's voice interrupted Shibi's thoughts. When Shibi did not immediately answer, the younger Aburame continued, "I know you aren't sleeping. Your kikkaichu are extremely active--too much so for you to be slumbering."
A small smile crept across Shibi's face as he opened his eyes. His shielded eyes focused on his son's features. Shino had Hotaru's nose and lips, though Shibi could take credit for the unruly mane. And the eyes! Those eyes were angrily glaring at Shibi as Shino ripped off his dark glasses. It was something he had done since he was a child: whenever he was cross with his father, Shino would take off his glasses. It was evidence of his sincerity in the issue-at-hand. If Shibi could see Shino's eyes, then it was serious. And, right now, it was.
Shino's eyes were like his father's, a dark chocolate color. The only difference was the few flecks of gold bespeckling his irises. Shibi suspected it was something he got from Hotaru. Her eyes were a sparkling, milky golden color. He missed those eyes.
Shibi sat upright in his chair. "I see you have safely returned from your mission." His voice was calm, giving away nothing.
"Quit it. I know." Shino spoke cryptically.
"Mmm, know what? And how?" Shibi asked, his eyebrows raising in amusement. Shino had his mother's temper, as well, it appeared.
"During my debriefing, I sensed that the Hokage was avoiding certain subject matter. I merely went to find Tenten for myself, and instead found Sakura leaving Tenten's apartment. Or should I say, former apartment." He spoke slowly, his intent clear.
Shibi balanced his chin on steepled fingertips, staring at his son in contemplation. "I suppose you want an explanation?"
"I demand one!" he hissed, his teeth bared in contempt. His eyes were narrowed in anger as his kikkai vibrated his rage. Undoubtedly, they were enjoying the surge of chakra that would satiate their selfish needs.
"And I owe you one," his father admitted, lowering his head in acknowledgment. Shino was caught off-guard by his Shibi's immediate resignation. He blinked furiously, as his earlier anger stumbled before resurfacing.
"She's pregnant!" Shino spat the phrase, as if it were a curse. Shibi knew, that to him, it was a curse. "And what's worse," his son continued, his voice becoming more high-pitched, "is that you knew before I had!"
"According to Tenten, you didn't exactly sound as if you would welcome an unplanned pregnancy," the older Aburame conceded, his tone betraying his stoic appearance.
"Of course I wouldn't, but that's beside the point!" he shot back, his jaw clenched.
"And just why not, Shino? Why would a child of your blood not be welcome?"
"B-because!" the younger bug-nin stammered. "You, of all people, should know why!"
It was as the older man had suspected. "What if I told you that I was wrong? That I failed you, my son?" Shibi spoke softly, after a moment of silence.
"What?" Shino was taken aback by the sudden realization of his father's words. His eyes widened in a combination of shock and disbelief.
Shibi nodded. "It has taken me all these years..." he replied softly, "...but I think I can finally let go of my guilt in regards to your mother's death."
"Your guilt? Yours?" Shino was practically howling. "You weren't the one that killed her!"
It was what Shibi had feared: his son blamed himself for his mother's death. He had failed his son. "You did not kill her, Shino," his voice was calm, though his hands trembled with emotion.
Before he could offer an explanation, Shino sneered, "It was because she had me, that she had to die! If I was never born, then she would still be alive!"
It was rare for Shino to display such emotion and lack of restraint. In fact, Shibi had only seen such an outburst one other time--many years before Shino was a genin. He had told his father that he wished to rid himself of his kikkaichu. They were disgusting to the kids at the Academy, and he was having difficulty making friends. He wanted to be...normal, as he had so adamantly shared with this father. It hurt Shibi to see his own son struggle with making comrades. He knew that if Hotaru was alive, she would be able to comfort the young lad. She had been gifted with the ability to see the good in anything and everything. It was why Shibi had loved her.
But, to listen to his son talk about his mother's sacrifice as if she were a victim was too much. It was Tenten's prompting that had helped Shibi realize how he had erred in his previous beleifes: Hotaru was no victim. No, she was a brave soul who willingly gave her life for a son she loved more than herself. It was too much. He could feel the dam break, his emotions tumbling free.
"You will not talk about your mother in such a manner!" Shibi was standing his fists clenched at his sides, as he stared at a younger version of himself.
The jonin grimly smiled, masking his momentary hesitance at his father's outburst. "Admit it, Father, I am responsible for her death," Shino growled, his voice an octave lower than before.
"She would never, never, consider your birth as anything but a miracle," the words rushed from the clan leader's mouth, as his eyes burned from the hot tears that were surfacing. "She wanted to give me an heir--a child. There were many pregnancies before you, and each one ended in the failure. Each time, she fell into a deeper despair. I saw part of her die with each unborn child. It wasn't until she found out that she was carrying another child--you--that she began to live again. She never gave up on you, Shino. She believed in you--her precious son. Even when faced with the chance of her own death, she chose you. She chose you. If anyone is to blame, I will take that fault on my own shoulders. I never once told her that I valued her life more than an heir. It wasn't until I realized how much she loved you that I knew that I would care for you just as much as I loved her. No, her death was not your fault. It was her choice--her sacrifice. For you. So revel in the love of a mother that you never knew. A woman that I will forever cherish and mourn..."
Shibi trailed off, his voice cracking with emotion. Shino stared at his father, disbelief etched in his features. Though his father rarely removed his glasses, his feelings were written clearly on his face. Shino watched the silent tears streak the older Aburame's cheeks. He had never seen his father speak so candidly about...anything. Shino was at a loss for words, as he hesitantly took a step forward, his hand outstretched toward the stern father he had known Shibi to be. He thought better of openly comforting the man, and brought his hand back to his side.
"Why...why?" Shino began, confusion marring his voice.
"Why have I never told you any of this?" Shibi croaked, his face downcast. He didn't need Shino to speak, he could sense the hesitant nod. "Because I blamed myself just as much as you blamed yourself. I could never accept that she would so willingly leave me...us. I never understood why she did it. Not until Tenten came to me."
Tenten! Shino had momentarily forgotten about that debacle. "I-I do not understand," the younger man's voice carried through the room, uncertainty evident in his tone.
"She made me see my past misconceptions. I wanted to believe that I had been a helpless victim in your mother's death. All these years, I thought it was a devious twist of fate--and we were the unlucky victims. But, in reality, there were no victims. She had the son she had cherished so much, giving me the greatest gift: you. In the end, we have all gained something...."
Shino could faintly see the rationale behind the statement. "I do not wish for Tenten to have this child," he confirmed.
Shibi wiped the drying tears from his face, "You do not have a choice in that matter, son. She is the one carrying the child. You," he smiled faintly, "are along for the ride. You are there to support her decision--whatever it may be."
"It is too risky for her," he countered.
"And why is that?"
"Because of our family's history."
"Bah! I said the same thing. Let her argue with you about it! She is not to be toyed with, it seems," his lips twisted into a strained smile as he looked toward his son.
Shino nodded, that much he knew. But, if his father had not been successful in talking her out of carrying this child, what could he do? "You are saying...that I have no choice?"
"Shino, you are old enough to be aware of the consequences of your actions," Shibi sighed. "Now you will be responsible for them."
"But I do not wish for Tenten--" he attempted to argue. Shibi raised his hand to silence his son.
"Yes, yes, you have said this already. But did you not hear me? You are along for the ride." He raised an eyebrow in amusement as Shino's face fell with realization.
"What if...what if something happens?" he asked softly. He couldn't bear to think about losing Tenten. "I...can't lose her, father."
"And you won't," he promised. "I believe that you two will have a long life together. Much more than was given to your mother and me." He looked at his son thoughtfully, his tone suddenly turning serious. "I know that I have failed you, Shino. And for that, I am sorry."
"You have not failed me," Shino began to argue.
"I have. I have allowed you to feel as if you are to blame for your mother's absence. In fact, you were her only reason for living. Be grateful for what she has given you, Shino. She would be proud of you." The tears threatened again. This time, however, Shibi held them back.
Shino felt as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders, as if he could breathe for the first time. His own eye were moist with emotion, "Thank you."
"Eh, don't thank me. You should hate me!" Shibi shot back.
"Perhaps," he mused. His father smirked in acceptance.
"But, now, you have created quite a dilemma for our clan's name," the Aburame leader began, changing the pace of the conversation.
"I-I am not following you," Shino's brow was knitted in confusion.
"Are you planning on having an illegitimate child?" Shibi asked pointedly.
"I, er, I, uh, haven't considered--"
"Of course you haven't," Shibi shook his head. "As I have said, you have created a dilemma."
Shino thought about his options. It was apparent, as Shibi confessed, that Tenten would not be amiable to terminating the pregnancy. But, would she be accepting of a marriage proposal? Was he accepting of such a marriage? Sure, he had thought about the possibility of spending his life with the gifted kunoichi, though he had never shared those thoughts with her. Especially not, considering they had only been "together" for a few months. Was that too early for such consideration?
"Worried that Tenten is not agreeable to those circumstances?" Shibi took a guess at Shino's sudden silence. When Shino did not answer, his father continued, "She is well aware of the position she has put our family in."
Shino understood his father's meaning. He knew what he had to do. "I will take care of it," he replied curtly, before turning and striding out of the manor. His glasses were still lying on the floor, where he had carelessly tossed them.
Shibi sighed, slumping into the worn chair. The older man was exhausted from the thoughts that had tolled on him these past few days. He was more than happy to pass this burden onto his son. Finally.
Tenten was still kneeling on the floor, her teary eyes blurring the scrolls that were strewn around her. What just happened? she asked herself, as the confusion swept over her. Shino had shown up, ready to ravage her. Minutes later, he had stormed from the tiny studio apartment, angry at Tenten.
No, she thought to herself, he was furious!
She looked around: everything reminded her of how she had made a terrible mistake. Her life was an utter mess.
"Idiot!" she mumbled under her breath.
She would clean herself up, then head toward the Aburame manor. She assumed that it was there she would find Shino. Maybe she could speak with him, clear up any misconceptions. Would he forgive her?
She hadn't realized that the door had been flung open, as she was lost in her own grueling thoughts. Until she heard him clear his throat.
"Shino!" her head shot up. Her words--her apologies--immediately stuck in her throat.
There, before her, stood the man she had allowed herself to become close to. His stance was more commanding, his body posture more...sure. But it was his face that caused her to choke down her apology: he wasn't wearing his glasses!
His eyes!
They were marred with some unspoken torture. She couldn't quit describe the feeling they illicited, but his eyes...they chilled her. They were dark and liquid like his father's--the irises just as dark as the pupils. Dotting their chocolatey depths were sparkling golden flecks. His eyes were...beautiful! She had always imagined what his eyes would look like--often coming to the conclusion that they would be more bug-like than human.
No, Shino was definitely human. It was obvious in the depth of emotion that was bespoken by the two orbs that he had so carefully kept shielded from the world. Like his heart. That had always been so shielded, Tenten guessed. Perhaps, she had concluded, due to the loss of his mother, the only woman that had ever loved him.
Tenten blinked, finding her courage. "Shino--"
"You have seven days, Tenten," he growled cutting her momentary courage short.
Tenten angled her head, unsure of the meaning behind his words. Her eyes gazed at him questioningly--nearly breaking his heart. She looked so helpless as she kneeled on the floor, her face stained by the salty tears. It wasn't long ago that her eyes screamed their desire for him.
"I don't understand. Seven days? Shino, can we talk?"
He did not move a muscle; his jaw clenched in an effort to control his emotions. He knew if he let his guard down, he would collapse before her, all of his former misconceptions breaking free from him. He did not want her to see him like that. Instead, he glared at her in a meager attempt to maintain control over his churning emotions. He risked a slight shake of his head.
"There is no need to talk. You have seven days to prepare." He turned on heel, ready to leave his lover on the floor of the small apartment on his family's property.
"Seven days....to prepare for what?" she replied frantically as she forced herself to her feet.
Shino turned his head slightly, his profile illuminated by the late afternoon sun. "To prepare for our wedding," his voice called back as he disappeared into the forest.