Vampyra: Me too, but don't worry... I have things planned out ^^ Thank you for your review!

Thank you, too, whoever you were who wrote another review! Yes, D will have to forgive Leon - but at first Leon has to apologize, doesn't he?

CD Two, Song Six: When I look at you

"Are you going to do it now or not?"

Jill placed the contract in front of Leon on the small coffee table in her bureau. He stared at it with disgust. It all had started with this damn thing, more than a year ago now. "I really don't see how the promise to promote the album forces me to do this show," he objected.

His manager snapped. "I don't want to argue with you any longer, dammit! Musical Today thinks it's promotion, so either you say you don't want to do it and we'll pay the fee or you do it. End of story!"

"Yeah, okay, okay. I'll have a look at it. But if I don't like it, I won't do it."

"Fine." Jill turned briskly. "Only so you know, if you don't do it, we're bound to pay ten thousand."

"Ten thousand?! Are they completely crazy?!" Leon exploded. "That damn album isn't even that good!"

"It sold well enough, thanks to you and D," the woman reminded him and he flinched. But she continued mercilessly. "And he's going to do the show, I talked to his father this morning. So you better pull yourself together, none of us needs two divas screaming at each other when they should be singing."

"I'm a professional, dammit, I can play with whoever I've gotta play or sing!"

Leon stormed out, slamming the door behind him. Jill sighed deeply. Professional or not, Leon was still not over D. And she both feared and anticipated the show. Perhaps with a bit of luck, her friend would come to his senses again once he'd seen D. But, knowing Leon's blockhead, she really doubted it.

When I look at you, what I always see

Is the face of someone else who once belonged to me

Still I can hear him laugh

And even though that melody plays on, he's gone.

"Count D, are you ready to start?" the conductor asked. D concentrated on the song, quickly went through the lyrics again and nodded. "Yes," he whispered and tried not to look around. He knew that Leon would turn up here sooner or later. His father had told him that he had conceded to do this show. And although D had spent quite some hours preparing himself for a meeting, he now felt as if his knees had turned to pudding. He was not up to face Leon.

But whatever deity was responsible for them, it was not kind. Halfway through his song, a door in the auditorium opened to admit Leon. He stopped right there and stared at D, clearly surprised to see him on the stage already. The lamps were turned down, and the Chinese could see every feature of the blonde's familiar face.

For a second they just stared at each other. D's voice trailed off. The conductor looked up in confusion, noticed Leon and stopped the orchestra. Silence stretched through the whole theatre.

D swallowed and tried to speak. But his throat was corded up, and so he just stared back at Leon helplessly. He couldn't help noticing that the blonde looked exhausted, strained, and as if he'd not eaten properly in a while. Silly hope made his heart clench. Was there a chance that Leon perhaps missed him as much as he missed him?

When I look at you, he is standing there

I can almost breathe him in like summer in the air

Why do you smile his smile?

That heaven I'd forgotten eases through, in you.

D looked breathtaking. He always did. But in contrast to everyone else, Leon was able to see the fine crinkles around his mouth, the shadows under his eyes, even though D was standing on the stage and he in the auditorium. Still, the sight took his breath away. He'd not seen D since that evening in TV, and then he'd only noticed the pain in this beautiful voice before he'd fled in panic.

But now, he was standing right in front of him, hands clasped demurely in front of him, in one of his elaborate cheongsam. And a smile slowly, hesitantly, worked its way onto his red lips.

Leon turned abruptly, slamming the door through which he'd just come shut behind him again. Then he leaned against the wall and tried to slow down his heart. Damn. Damn. And another damn. Why was he just so good at fucking everything up? Why was he just such an asshole when it came to relationships? D was better than that, Thomas and Andrew had been right, if with nothing else, then with this at least. He deserved better than someone like Leon, who was not even able to excuse or express what he really felt.

If you could look at me once more

With all the love you felt before

If you and I could disappear into the past

And find that love we knew

I'd never take my eyes away from you.

D swallowed hard. His shy smile vanished as if it had never been there. The hopeful bubble that had built in his chest burst to leave nothing but empty cold. No, Leon had not forgiven him and not changed his mind. Did he even consider that D was completely innocent? He'd not used him for his career, however many people might think so. And it hurt, it hurt so badly that Leon would believe him capable of that, even after all these months.

It hurt as much to see his former lover again. D had not really cared about the "fight" he and Leon were supposed to have. He did not want to become Broadway's male superstar. Not if it meant competing with Leon. His work had been the only way to keep his thoughts off the blonde. On the outside, it must have looked like he was trying to elbow Leon to the side. But that had never been his intention.

Apparently, though, Leon believed this. Or perhaps not, who could tell. Only one thing was clear, and that was that the American did not want to see him again. Well, if so, D would be more than happy to comply. He could not stay here in America, on the Broadway, when Leon was here every day, too. He could not stand the possibility of running into him by chance, or, even worse, play in the same show as he. He would do this one, he was bound to do it by the contract, but then he would leave. He would go back to China, where no one could suspect him of using someone else as a career boost.

And yet, he knew that he would never be able to forget Leon, no matter how far he might flee. The memory of his blue eyes would stay in his mind forever, and how tender they had once looked at him. He'd keep the Leon in mind with whom he'd fallen in love with, and not the Leon filled with hatred and despise. And that would have to suffice.

When I look at you, he is touching me

I would reach for him, but who can hold a memory?

And love isn't everything

That moonlight on the bed will melt away, someday

Oh, you were once that someone

Who I followed like a star

Then suddenly you changed,

And now I don't know who you are

Or could it be that I never really knew you from the start?

Did I create a dream?

Was he a fantasy?

Even a memory is paradise for all the fools like me

Now, remembering is all that I can do

Because I miss him so, when I look at you.

For some time Leon had thought that if he didn't see D, didn't hear his voice, he could perhaps forget him. But soon he'd realised that leaving the Chinese behind was more difficult than anything else had ever been. And if he was honest, he didn't want to forget D. He'd rather feel bitter regret for the rest of his life than forget what he'd had and lost again so quickly.

Bitterly the blonde smiled. The poets had known what they'd been writing about. It was torture to know there was no way back, but it was heaven to think about all the times and things they'd shared. And perhaps, one day, he would muster the courage to ask for D's forgiveness.

Meanwhile, he could still dream.

This is nearly the last chapter, and hopefully the last won't take too long to write, so please leave me a review!