(A/N) I added a bit more to this chapter. There's a little O where I added. Please read. I'm free from school, however, so updates should be faster. Yeah...

Shadow had spent the entire day and Christmas night out on Amy's balcony. He couldn't seem to draw himself away. Too deep in thought about Maria, too hurt and confused not to sympathize with Amy.

Maria had everything set up for Christmas. She had gotten all her gifts into a bag and had Shadow hold the cards so they wouldn't get messed up. At six she was up leaving presents on every scientists' work station.

"Come on Shadow your slowing everything up."

Shadow raced after her placing her cards on top of every gift. Dodging equipment Maria ran through the Ark delivering her surprises seven minutes before the first research shift started. Not a single person was missed. Maria even got small treats and candies for the other experiments aboard the space station. Everything was running smoothly, until she got to Micah's work space. Maria reached into her bag only to find Micah's gift wasn't there.

"Shadow,"

The panic of Maria voice caught the black hedgehog's attention immediately. "I left Micah's gift on my dresser and he'll start work in a few minutes."

"Don't worry I'll get it." Shadow placed the few cards he had left to deliver in the empty bag Maria held. Without a moments hesitation, Shadow was gone half way to Maria's chamber.

Entering the hallway to the living quarters, Shadow slowed his pace. Not only did Maria live in this wing, but so did her grandfather, which Shadow had learned never to wake before due time. Shadow easily found the present wrapped on the dresser and slipped back out into the hallway.

The light was on in Gerald's room and the door slightly ajar.

"Great." Shadow tried to lighten his steps as he approached the door. He just had to get past, then it was a clear shot to Micah's desk. No need to rush, he still had three whole minutes. No sweat, all was good.

Shadow could now see slightly into the room. He could also hear Gerald holding a conversation with someone. Perhaps he wouldn't even notice Shadow. Becoming parallel with the room, however, Micah came into vision. Shadow was surprised to see him talking with his creator so early. Dismissing it, the hedgehog was about to completely pass the door and be on his way to completing the mission when something caught his ear.

"I have to quit the research, sir."

Those words stopped him in his tracks. Placing himself on the outside wall, Shadow decided to continue listening to the conversation.

"That seems to be a rather hasty decision Micah, your internship is not yet complete, and project Shadow is still underway." Gerald could be heard saying.

"I know, but I'm sure someone else can pick up on my research." Micah could be heard picking up a suitcase or hand bag of some kind. Still, Shadow stayed put to listen.

"Besides, Kayla wants to get married in Europe and I want to be with her there."

"Your only Twenty-Two what's six more months of working on Shadow?"

"Sorry sir, I'm leaving on the first shift train. Thank you for everything, and tell Maria I said good bye."

The door then flung wide open and both Gerald and Micah stood before the confused hedgehog.

"Shadow, what are you doing here!"

Shadow stared up at his master, both hurt and confused.

"Shadow?"

Shaken from his thoughts, Amy was standing over him. The sun had also risen and the day had started without him. Shadow had been sitting there all morning; it being about nine now.

"What are you doing here?" The female hedgehog repeated upon Shadow's silences. She was about to lecture on his trespassing when she noticed his eyes were glazed over as if he had been crying. Feeling a bit of guilt for just yelling at him, Amy knelt down to his level. Shadow looked away.

It was unlike Shadow to behave like this. Sitting out in the cold all night, crying on top of that.

"Why don't you come inside and I'll make you something to eat. Would that be..." Before she could finish Shadow rose to his feet, all emotion gone from his face.

"Thank you but that won't be needed." Shadow reached for the chaos emerald in his quills.

"Are you sure." Amy was concerned. Even if Shadow wasn't a close friend, he was a friend non the less.

"Yes." The answer came out harsher than Shadow had intended it to.

"Okay." Amy timidly turned to enter her apartment again. Shadow sighed. Looking out over the city scape covered in snow, Shadow reached back in his quill and fingered the gift that was meant for Micah. Still wrapped, still there, still undelivered.

Looking back into the room, Shadow thought about how Maria lost a friend that day, and how Amy must have felt the same way. Musing this Shadow took his own personal entrance to the apartment appearing in front of Amy in the living room.

Amy jumped at his arrival.

"On second thought, I'd like something hot."

Amy hesitated a moment before heading to the kitchen. She opened the cupboard only to remember Cream had drunk the last hot coco yesterday with breakfast.

"I don't have coco," Amy called to Shadow in the living room, who only pondered at the awkward name. "But I have some coffee or tea if you'd like." He'd heard of coffee. Rouge had it at her apartment last time he'd been there, prior to Sonic's death.

"Coffee." Shadow said coming into the kitchen. Amy got to work preparing the drink and a tea for herself.

"I'm gonna make you some toast too."

Shadow was about to object, when Amy began to push him toward the table. "You just sit down and get comfortable." Why did she have to touch him?

Amy knew she'd feel better after helping someone. She always did. Plus having some company over, even if it was as dull as Shadow, would help keep her mind off Sonic. Moreover she still needed to know why he was outside.

Shadow sat quietly watching Amy cook. Some how his order of coffee had become four pancakes, two pieces of toast, a muffin and a cup of coffee, regular, to wash it down.

"Uh, Thanks?"

"Don't mention it Shadow." Amy sat opposite Shadow to her breakfast of two pancakes and a cup of tea. Shadow looked at the spread before him. He'd never been served this much, nor was he sure he wanted it all.

"What's the matter?"

Shadow looked up at Amy.

"Nothing."

Amy smiled back then returned to eating. It couldn't be all bad, so Shadow started with the pancakes which to his surprise tasted good. Shadow then realized how hungry he was. He hadn't been eaten correctly for four weeks.

Finishing her last bite, Amy faced Shadow. He was inhaling the food as if he hadn't eaten in years.

"Wow, if I knew you were that hungry I would have made more." Shadow didn't even flinch at her words. Amy just stared on. Sonic couldn't even eat that fast.

Watching the black hedgehog, Amy began to wonder what he was doing on her balcony, and why he seemed upset. Little was known about him other than what was found on the Ark. Even after being with them for a year now, Shadow tended to keep to himself. He never opened up to anyone that she knew of, and he never talked about anything that didn't have to do with the task at hand.

If there was a battle to be fought, he was there, but would at no time celebrate a victory among friends. If that's what he called them. Even Rouge had once said he was just as reserved at home as he was in public. Funny thing was nobody ever seemed to ask him about it. Mostly because of his dismaying appearance.

Shadow had finished his food as he gulped down his coffee, as it had cooled during his eating.

"That was good." Shadow commented setting the cup down on the table.

"Thanks." Amy stood slowly to clear the table. Shadow watched as Amy watched him watching her clear the table while being watch. It was a rather uncomfortable moment for Amy. He was just staring at her.

"You can go watch t.v. if you want."

Shadow didn't respond. It was then clear he was day dreaming, or something of the sort. Amy took her attention off of him and placed the dishes in the washer. Grabbing a wet rag from the sink, Amy began to wipe down the counter and table. Cleaning the space around Shadow, Amy couldn't help but wave her hand in front of his face. His focus was on her immediately.

"What?"

"Your looking kinda, um...lost in thought."

"Sorry."

"No that's okay. So uh what are you thinking about?"

Shadow's gaze fell to the table before fixing on Amy.

"Maria." Her name brought silences after it. Amy began to regret her question for Shadow was still holding eye contact but wasn't saying a word. In a way it seemed he was speaking with his eyes, but it was a language she couldn't understand. Or could she.

Amy knew enough about Shadow to know Maria was someone dear to him. She was his only true friend and she had been killed at a young age. His eyes were hurt. He was hurt, empty or torn inside. Some how she had seen him this close up before; in the mirror...

Shadow watched Amy's curiosity give way to what seemed to be sorrow. She was no longer focusing on him, but on something in her mind.

Sonic had meant a lot to her and only recently last year had he begun to return her love for him. When he first died...was said to be dead, it had almost killed her. She didn't want to imagine life without Sonic. Not at first, not now.

Because of Sonic she could understand Shadow. Which was a big step for someone like her. Maybe she wasn't as different from Shadow as she appeared to be. In a way...

Ring

Both Amy and Shadow turned from each other to observe the phone in Amy's kitchen. The moment between them, however, did brake or fade by the sudden interruption. Amy looked back at Shadow to see he had gone back to staring at something on the table.

"I'll just go get that." Amy went to the phone.

Without moving his head, Shadow watched Amy's conversation. She never took notice to his prying eyes as she received the call.

"Hey Cream, how are you?"

Shadow watched as Amy seemed to become her former self. The forced smile she had been wearing since he entered her home also nerved him. He had watched her cry and morn for two days. He knew her attitude was false. But why?

Amy always appeared to show how she felt regardless of what others thought. If she was truly upset about Sonic's death, why would she hide her feeling from her friends.

Shadow shook the thoughts from his head. It didn't matter, it wasn't his business. To tell the truth, he shouldn't have been spying on Amy or have entered her home the way he did. It would probably be best if he made his leave.

From the phone Amy watched her guest rise from the table and head for the apartment door.

"Could you hold a moment Cream?" Receiving the yes to leave the conversation, Amy placed the phone gently next to its holder to follow Shadow.

"Where are you going?"

"Home." Which was an easily distinguished lie. Amy's temper rose a bit at Shadow's rude behavior, leaving without a thank you or pleasant smile, but also because in a way she didn't want him to leave. Amy quickly positioned herself in front of the apartment door before the black hedgehog could get there.

"Not yet," Those words didn't come out quiet right. "I mean, please stay longer." Amy took Shadow's arm and lead him to the living room. Reluctantly Shadow allowed himself to be escorted to the living area. He could tell by the urgence in her voice that she was in need of some social interaction. Mainly one that would remove Sonic from her mind long enough for her to relax. How 'he' did that he didn't know. Especially because of his similarities to the blue blur.

Seeing to it that Shadow had sat down and was agreeing to remain in the house longer, Amy went back to the phone.

Shadow sat, waiting, not sure what to do. Observing the room, the Christmas decorations were still up. Which in a way said something profound about Amy's character. Even with Sonic dead and the sadness that engulfed her this holiday, she still took the time to decorate. She also was pretending to be joyful with Cream yesterday so not to ruin the young girls morning. There was something was different about Amy. She wouldn't allow all happiness to leave her no matter what happened to her.

Shadow listened as Amy continue her talk with Cream. How could she remain so...so, happy? What made Amy able to handle the loss of a loved one who left only a month ago.

Amy twisted a finger around the cord and laughed at the innocence of the young caller on the other end. The laugh had a giddy, girlishness to it. Was it the laugh? Could Amy be this lighthearted because she laughed?

If that was the case then Shadow wasn't going to change. Laughter was not something he would conform to. He wouldn't even consider that self-degrading activity to make utterance from his mouth...and yet. Amy's happiness...

The pink hedgehog continued her conversation as Shadow continued to listen. She was probably smiling. Could that have something to do with anything?

Smiling wasn't that bad. Certainly he could try a smile. Shadow turned his attention back to the room around him looking for some sort of reflective surface. The television!

Shadow stood and went to the darkened glass surface. Bending, Shadow got a full view of his face.

His first smile seemed to be more of a look of disgust. His second a grin for world domination. The third would frighten children, the fourth will be left to the imagination. Shadow was about to try one more time when the television hummed to life blinding him with its brilliant light.

"The remote's over here."

As his vision returned to him, Shadow could make out Amy holding the television controller. She had placed herself on the couch as if to be joining him for some entertainment.

"Well come sit down."

Shadow did as ordered.

"Do you like any show specifically?" Amy handed the remote to Shadow. Giving the mechanical devise a once over, the black hedgehog began to flip through the channels.

"I'm Benedict Hraps," The announcer began, "I was skydiving when my parachute wouldn't open. I hit the ground where I broke my shoulder and rolled into the lake."

Shadow raised an eyebrow to the sheer stupidity being played before him.

"There I save a puppy from drowning with my good arm, and swam back to shore, using only my legs. While being chased by a gator."

Blank stares formed on both hedgehogs' faces.

"Give me that thing." Amy grabbed the remote back changing to a late Christmas special. From the place were they started watching the movie, Amy couldn't tell what film it was. But it didn't matter, anything was better than Benedict. After a few minuets Amy lost interest in the film and turned her attention back to Shadow. He also seemed to be losing interest, tapping his fingers sporadically against the sofa arm. Maybe now would be the best time to ask him what he was doing on her balcony.

"Uh, Shadow?"

"Yeah!"

Amy was startled by Shadows quick reaction and the full attention she was now receiving.

"I was wondering..."

Shadow suddenly jumped from the couch to in front of the television.

"About this movie!" The black hedgehog pointed an accusing finger at the screen.

"No not really,"

"Because I think this movie sucks."

Amy's mouth was slightly ajar as Shadow went on explaining his bold remark. "If that man really loved that woman at the beginning of the film he never would have left home in the first place! And, instead of wasting his money carelessly on presents he can't even get to her, he should be trying to get a bus ticket! Wouldn't that make more sense? Am I right"

Amy was shocked.

"What?" She had never heard Shadow so excited about something like this before. It was odd, and definitely unexplained.

"This movie, it makes no sense! He never should have left." Shadow fell backward onto the couch bouncing Amy.

"It wouldn't be a movie if he didn't leave on that business trip."

"Yeah, well how was his plane delayed?"

"He said because of the snow."

"Plot convenience."

"It's a movie!"

"And a senseless one at that!"

"What is wrong with you?"

Shadow positioned himself upright on the sofa.

"Nothing is wrong." His remark was calmer than his pervious comments. He took notice of Amy's confused and in some respects disturbed expression. In light of this he decided to elaborate on his answer. "Well I do feel a little more active." The disturbed look did not remove its self from the girl's face. "I mean, I have more energy...I don't know." Shadow returned to watching the film.

"The coffee." Amy replied.

"What?"

"I think it's the coffee."

"What about it?"

"Shh this is the part when they get back together!"

Both hedgehogs watched as the two actors ran to greet each other in the snow.

"She went to him?" Shadow asked mildly disappointed by the way the story was ending.

"Isn't it wonderful?"

"..."

"Oh come on, that was wonderful."

"No it really wasn't."

"Well how would you have ended it?"

Shadow thought about the question for a moment, then turned to the screen to see the credits scrolling. He caught a glimpse of the lead actress' name, Marie. The energy rush fell out of him as he remembered Micah and his reason for leaving.

"He wouldn't have left in the first place." Shadow's answer was full of anger. Amy could tell Shadow had some dark connotation with his response. He stared blankly at the scrolling names.

"Not for business, not for another women. He had no reason to leave. Especially without saying good-bye." Shadow had rose and made his way to standing directly in front of the television.

"She can't get back to you," He whispered so only the names on screens could hear him. Shadow faced Amy, breathing heavy. "He never would have left." Closing his eyes, Shadow turned away from Amy.

She knew his sudden mood change had to do with Maria, but she wasn't daring enough to ask...Okay maybe she was, just not directly.

"Then would he have found out how much she meant to him?" Shadow didn't move. "If they never spent the time apart, then he never would have realized how much he wanted to be with his wife for Christmas. And that gifts wouldn't fix the problem of loneliness." His hands balled into fists, unfortunately out of her sight. "Does this remind you of Maria?"

Her exculpatory curiosity, how it would get her killed one day. Holding back as much anger as possible, knowing Amy meant well, that she had let her emotions out...

Maria

Why couldn't he get over Maria? Why was she always the stumbling block in his life. This wasn't what she wanted for him and yet here he was, living this ever present nightmare.

"I'm sorry."Her recanting was too late, but meant so earnestly. Amy watched as Shadow slowly began to tremble.

Note to self, coffee plus Shadow equals weird emotional brake down.

"I didn't mean to upset you." Amy stood by Shadow, his eye lids tightening to fight back tears. Which in a way made her sad. Seeing some one hurt, it made her instantly feel sympathy, and poured salt onto her open wound. Shadow was anguished by Maria's death much like she was for Sonic's And with the help of caffeine he was allowing a small glimpse into his internal distress.

Thinking back on the invitation given to her by Cream over the phone, Amy gave a small smile.

"Why don't we spend the day together."

The former emotion leaving his body, Shadow let out a sigh response. "Cream has invited me to go ice skating in the park this afternoon. Well really in a few minutes, so why don't you come too?"

Had she just missed his moment of depression? Shadow brought his gaze to meet Amy's. All fear of Shadow's creepiness aside, Amy smiled warmly and nodded her head.

"It's settled then, your coming."

"I didn't say that."

Amy ignored his remark and quickly went to her room.

"Just let me grab a few things!" She called out to him. Now was his chance to leave if ever. Shadow turn to go when once again the television caught his attention. It was another movie for Christmas. Two children kneeling before their beds praying a blessing over their family.

"And God bless Mommy and Daddy. Amen." The little boy finish as he climbed into bed. Then he and his sister spotted the first star of Christmas night theatrically at the same time. The two children smiled at each other as they were about to make a wish. It would be the same wish for both, and Shadow knew that for the sake of the movie it would come true. But as the kids opened their mouths to speak the screen went black.

Amy had entered the room and switched it off by remote. Shadow rounded to face her. She had dressed her self in what seemed to be the usual red dress, but now it's hem were puffy like cotton. The sleeves extended to her gloves and she wore white leggings tucked into her boots.

"Your not going outside with only a scarf are you?" Amy shook her head then opened the storage closest. "Here's a jacket." The clothing was tossed to Shadow were he caught it in the air.

Amy went to the apartment door only to realize Shadow wasn't following. He was still standing in the room now looking at the television again.

"Are you coming?"

Was he?

o

The park was full that morning. Shadow gave a despairing sigh. This wasn't what he wanted to be doing. He never intended to be spending time with Amy or humoring her fancies. He had simply visited because she reminded him of something. Something he now wishes he could have forgot.

"I don't see Cream anywhere, do you?"

Shadow's attention was back on Amy as she began talking. She did nothing but talk really. The entire walk here had been nothing but stories about nonsense.

"No I don't." He said flatly. Amy cupped her hands over her eyes to block the sun as she continued her search.

"I think that's her over there." Amy took Shadow's wrist and started for her friend

Shadow watched as people skated on the lake. Couples holding hands and friends laughing and sharing the gossip they had accumulated over the days. The snow from the night before had made the park more of a winter wonderland, enticing kids to build and play in the snow.

The happiness and wonder all disturbed the black hedgehog. The furries on the ice had good reason to be joyful, and yet no reason at all. They acted as if nothing in their life was wrong. All things were going their way and that when they got home there would be no hardships awaiting them. His pain had happened over fifty years ago and he still hurt, what did they do differently?

"Hey Cream, Vanilla," Amy was greeting her friends. "I brought Shadow along, I hope you don't mind."

The small rabbit smiled in response to Amy.

"Of course we don't mind, we'd love to have Mr. Shadow skate with us." Her gay attitude evoked Shadow to give a fake smile. A very weak, fake smile.

"You all have fun," Vanilla grinned, turning to head toward the benches. "I'll just watch you from there."

"I think I'll join her." Shadow quickly turned to follow the older rabbit when Amy stopped him.

"Why don't you skate with Cream and me first, see if you like it."

Shadow simply walked past Amy in response.

"Why doesn't he want to join us, Amy?" Cream asked her friend, staring after the leaving hedgehog.

"He never enjoyed being with people much."

"At least he came," Cream took Amy's hand and lead her out to the ice. "That must mean something."

Shadow and Vanilla watched the two friends slipping and laughing on the ice. Vanilla smiling and waving at Cream, Shadow wishing he was anywhere but there.

"Cream's improved so much,"

Shadow looked up. "What?"

"My daughter, her skating has improved this year." Vanilla gave a small laugh as Shadow raised an eyebrow. If she was trying to start a conversation it was going to go in vain. Shadow tried to look away, deterring eye contact and a sense of openness, but the mother continued her chat.

"Last year she had slipped and bumped her chin on the ice. She was crying and carrying on that she would never go skating again. But look at her. She can almost keep up with Amy now."

Suddenly the brightness left Vanilla's voice and her eyes cast downward. "I thank Sonic for encouraging her to try again." The mention of Sonic's name caught Shadow's attention. Vanilla took note of this and continued her story seeing Shadow was now engaged

"He sat with us for a while telling Cream about a time he wanted to give up." Tears formed in the mother's eyes as she stared off recalling the story. "Cream was thrilled to hear how he overcame his problem and she got up and begged him to teach her to skate."

Shadow tilted his head as a light laugh escaped Vanilla's lips. "He was afraid to go out on the ice because he thought it would break. It took both Amy and Cream to drag him out there."

"Amy was there?"

"She's usually wherever Sonic is . . . was."

Shadow turned to watch Amy . . . and Cream, skate. The pink hedgehog was actually pretty good. Cream was slipping a bit, which was a funny sight at times. She would always get back up and shrug it off, ready to try again. Just like Sonic taught her.

"It has been a year Shadow," The black hedgehog looked back at the rabbit across from him. "You've been with us for a year and we still know little about you."

"There's nothing you need to know."

"Please take this opportunity to get to know us. I mean you've been a loner for so long, why not try to befriend someone."

Shadow rose to his feet. "Please don't leave Shadow," Vanilla got to her feet and moved beside him. "There's a reason you came here with Amy, you two might have a lot in common. Get to know her."

Shadow sized the woman beside him, considering what she said.

"I'm sorry." Shadow turned his back to her and walked away. He didn't belong there, he shouldn't have even went there. He could hear her call his name again before getting out of ear shot.

Maybe he should get to know them...but why, what good would it honestly do him.