Matt

"And so then you divide the number of…" Mello…. Mello… Mello..~ "….and then you add…" Your hair is so pretty… I'm glad you sit in front of me… "and then add…" wow it's boring in here… I wonder what you would look like in a link outfit… "and get the sum of the…." …god I'm so bored…

I wasn't paying attention again, obviously, only getting tidbits of worthless information from the person teaching us in math class today. I didn't really mind though, I was having fun watching Mello. He was scribbling down notes, an intense look on his face. He always worked extra hard, and I admired that about him.

I was glad the awkwardness was gone, too. Ever since the Linda Accident, which was about a month ago, I had been on edge a little bit, because I kept being afraid that Linda was going to say something. She kept sneaking me grins and winks, but actually she never said anything. Girl of her word, I guess, because she kept silent. (Though actually what she had said was 'no promises' but apparently she thought it better not to start rumors about me and Mello. It was never a good idea to start a false rumor about Mello. Ever.) Thank god - I was relieved to have him still being my friend at this point.

"…so what's the answer to the question?" the short little woman at the front of the room asked, apparently having written something on the board. It was a complicated equation, but I did it in a few seconds in my head - she'd explained it in the few seconds I'd actually been listening. I didn't raise my hand though, instead just avoiding eye contact with the teacher, not wanting to answer. I didn't have to worry though, because Mello's hand shot up immediately. Another great thing about sitting behind Mello - he always raised his hand so you never had to.

"Eight-hundred and seven to the sixth power," Mello said as the short woman before him - was her name ? I couldn't remember - pointed to him. His face was stern and knowing, and he went back to scribbling notes before the instructor could even tell him that he was correct. I avoided the smile tugging on my lips. Mello was always so over confident, hand allays shooting up as fast as possible, probably trying to answer more questions than Near - which he usually did because Near was so quiet - even though it didn't count in the rankings.

He did have that kind of passion, for becoming number one. It made me kind of jealous - I'm so lazy, I don't even give a shit about my ranking, even though somehow I became number three because of raw smarts. I'm glad I'm number three though, because that means I'm right beside Mello in the rankings. I know, pathetic sidekick puppy dog thing, but I was pretty much beyond caring about that at t his point.

I wonder if Mello knows how much I would do for him? Including, you know, ANYTHING. That's including--

"Matt, do you know the answer?"I flinch, realizing the teacher was looking at me. Dammit. I was just looking at the board when Mello's eyes flicked to me and he tapped his paper absently with his fingernails, clickclickclick. I looked at the paper and read it out loud, automatically understanding. "Seventy eight to the tenth power," I said, looking up at the teacher. She didn't see Mello's absent movement, obviously, because she stared at me in bewilderment, obviously knowing that I was zoning out before, but let it slide and continued talking. I sighed with relief, tapping Mello's foot with mine to let him know I was thankful. I couldn't see Mello's face, but I was pretty sure he was smiling.

Mello

I wasn't a cheater, but that teacher was pissing me off. She kept purposefully calling on the students who were spacing out, which was completely unfair, since we were all geniuses and if we weren't paying attention it meant we didn't care bout our ranking or we had already learned it, or, in matt's case, didn't need to pay attention because he's so annoyingly smart.

And so… I cheated. Shut up, I cheated. It wasn't like it was a test or anything.

Right when I was feeling satisfaction though, feeling Matt tap his foot against mine - that really made me feel awesome, because somehow with that little touch I knew I had made him happy - it was ruined because suddenly I really, really had to go to the bathroom.

I know. Too much information, but I really didn't want to leave at that moment. I wanted to stay and keep sneaking grins at Matt from behind me, keep hating that teacher for picking on Matt, keep just being there because I was elated. But of course I couldn't, because well, I'm a guy and when I have to go I simply have to go.

I won't go into it, but I hurried to the boys restroom - which was becoming more and more awkward for me after coming out to myself, by the way - and made my way into the stalls to relieve myself.

…I'm not going to go into that.

After I was done with, well, that, I slipped out of the stall, yawning. Classes had tired me out more than usual today, and I suddenly didn't feel like going back to the classroom that previously I had been dying to stay in. Classes were exhausting, especially once it hit Friday. I loved learning and all, but I really just wanted it to be weekend so I could hang out with Matt. It was a long weekend, since the Fall Ball was on Monday. I stopped in the mirror automatically, fluffing out my hair and piecing it back behind my ears, fixing my bangs. It was almost an automatic thing now, and I suddenly found myself wondering if Matt found me pretty.

Ha. Pretty. I was a guy, why would he think that? I mean, I'd been told I looked like a girl - did I really look that much like a girl? - but I wasn't pretty. Sexy was more what I was hoping for, since tat fit either gender, but Matt… was straight and most definitely not going to ask me to any stupid Fall Ball. Not that I wanted to even go, I guess. What, stand around, not even dancing because everyone was too awkward to dance, listening to obnoxiously loud hit singles from some musical singer that nobody but maybe a few even knew about since we were isolated geniuses who didn't really give a shit about what was 'cool' expert the stupider of us? Listen to a bunch of girls giggle, watch the bullies smirk and make quiet whispers about the people who weren't as attractive or cool, point at people? Watch guys make fools of themselves and hit on girls? No, I would rather do what we did last year - I would rather just stay in the room, chugging soda and eating chocolate, giggling and laughing about how stupid the dance was, having our own private party in the bedroom, laughing - or rather giggling on my part, err - and teasing each other.

That was what fun was.

I smiled at myself once I was pleased with the way I looked, giving myself a confident smile in the mirror and feeling very much like a flaming homosexual but suddenly not caring about it, shoving any words my mother might have once said out of my mind. 'You're dead, bitch, stay out of my head,' I thought bluntly, even though I regretted the thought as it escaped my brain, but I ignored the guilt, stalking out of the bathroom.

I was so determined to make a good appearance when I reentered the classroom - even though probably it would be more like 'hi I'm Mello I just got back from taking a piss, how are ya?' it didn't matter to me at the moment - I almost didn't see Kelly standing outside the boys restroom.

Two questions entered my mind as I spotted her. One, what the hell was she doing standing outside the GUYS restroom, and why was she grinning at me with that sluttish grin on her face?

"Meellooo, heyyy," she said, drawing out her words as she strutted towards me, a sly smirk on her face. At least, as sly as a total ditz could get, which wasn't very sly in my book but it seemed to work on the majority of the guys at my school. Might have worked on me, too, if she were a redhead, a little shorter and flat chested, and had goggles. And a you know, the penis she obviously lacked.

For some reason I replied, "Hey." Not sure why I greeted her in a friendly way, I shifted my weight, giving her a hard look as she stopped in front of me, her shirt hanging too low as she smiled at me in a way that for a moment made me think of the black haired whore that Matt had encountered at the bar, only with smaller boobs and an obvious lack of alcohol use.

Seeming to be satisfied with my fake, accidental greeting she grinned and leaned forward. "Hey, you know the dance is coming up," she started, and before I could stop her ,her hand was tracing down my arm. I couldn't think for a second, my thoughts blurring. I wanted to run away an equal amount as the amount as I wanted to punch her in the jaw, which seemed to equal out and make me do neither somehow. "And you know, I'm totally available, and I wouldn't mind going with you…" she continued, drawing out her last words as if it were the most appealing offer in the universe.

I felt my face drop into a scowl automatically, and I took a step backwards, glowering at her. "Look here, I'm not going to the stupid dance. Especially not with you," I add harshly. I expected her face to drop or at least have her look a little surprised, but she didn't. She only smirked at me.

"Ah, same cold reaction I figured I'd get," she laughed, a mischievous, naughty kind of laugh that I didn't like in the sl ightest, and I found myself thinking of Matt's laugh, that loud, addictive laughter that you couldn't help but start laughing at too, even if the joke it was triggered by was making fun of you. Her laugh was ice, no warmth at all in it, and she stalked forward, suddenly right beside me, too close, her hands slipping up to my chest. I froze, unable to move to push her away, the 'slut' effect taking me by surprise. I was definitely a homosexual, I realized, and I felt myself shudder at the feeling of her breasts pressing against my flat chest, not liking the feeling. She seemed to take my shudder in the wrong way though, the smirk dancing across her lips widening. "You're just stubborn, aren't you. You know you want to go - why not with me, huh? Maybe you'll get lucky."Get lucky? I suddenly felt myself laughing, and not the giggle either. The laugh that escaped my lips was cruel and condescending, and it came out of me before I knew it was coming. The girls face contorted a little in confusion, her previous composure breaking, and I grabbed her wrists, moving them off my chest and forcing her to take a step back. "Lucky?" I hissed, still laughing that demonic laugh I couldn't stop from coming up from my chest. "You think I want you? I don't want you, I don't want your dates and I don't want your sex or your fake smiles and smutty outfits. I'm not turned on by you, and even if I was going to the stupid fall ball, I wouldn't go with you. I'd rather go with Near than you, bitch, and I hate that little albino freaks guts."Kelly's face contorted in an ugly way, her bleach blonde hair falling over part of her face. I could tell she was angry, a pissed look flickering in her eyes and for a moment I could tell I had won, at least for a few moments, until her face suddenly turned from a grimace to a smirk. "Fine. Maybe I'll just ask your little redhead friend instead," she whispered, her eyes narrowing and her smirk widening as she said it.

It got to me. She knew it, I could tell, because there was satisfaction in her eyes when I flinched without meaning to. "Why would I care about that?" I hiss half-heartedly, trying to keep the composure I had. She only grinned at me, and for a moment the look in her eyes reminded me of myself, only much more sluttish.

"Of course you wouldn't care," she whispered, her voice teasing me in the cruelest way, hands slipping from my grip easily now as her sluttish hands whisper to my chin, arching it downwards slightly to look at her, and I realized I was only slightly taller than her. "You're not gay, right? So you wouldn't care… if I just stole his first kiss, hmm? Maybe I'll just steal the first kiss off those cute little lips of his." she whispered, and did this really slutty thing where she licked her lips as she said it. I felt a sudden wave of conflicting emotions - if I punched her or showed reaction, she would know that would upset me. But if I didn't, she'd probably do it anyway.

I didn't want to, I knew it was a stupid thing, but the words came from my mouth before I could stop them. "You wouldn't dare," I growled, grabbing her shoulders and shoving her roughly away from me, making her stumble back, "He wouldn't even go for a slut like you, even if you did."

The jealous rage in my stomach flared up more as she peeked up at me again, her smirk breaking into a slutty giggle. "Oh, you have no idea what I can do, sweet Mells, dear," she hissed. She continued with her slutty little display and chatter, but I couldn't hear her. I just heard her call me Mells.

It didn't sound good coming from her. Mells was the nickname only Matt called me. He was the one, the only one, who was allowed to call me that. And without really pausing to think about it, I slapped her.

Right across the face, like a fucking girl.

But it certainly surprised her enough, because she leapt back, her eyes wide and shocked. But the shock only lasted a few moments, and she grinned at me.

The bell rang before she could reply, and my legs forced me to leave, body still shaking with rage.

Matt

Mello didn't return to the classroom.

I didn't really want to think of the various reasons why that might be. I hoped it wasn't anything, like, gross, but that wouldn't be as bad as what I truly suspected, which was that he had run into someone on the way to or from the restroom. That boy tended to attract violence like a lamp to a moth - not that he couldn't handle it, that was hardly what I was worrying about as I got up from my desk. It was that he had started a fight and gotten in trouble - it would suck to have him get grounded when we were going to hang out after class today.

As the mass of students exited the classrooms my eyes automatically scanned the hallway. He usually waited for me beside the water fountain in the middle of the hallway when we didn't have the class together, but I didn't know where to find him now, and I wasn't about to actually check the restrooms. That would be beyond awkward, and I hated using the public restrooms here because of, well, the whole homosexuality thing. I wasn't a pervert, but the rumors always made people look at me funny. I didn't like that at all - it wasn't like I was there to rape them or something, I went into the restroom for the same reason as everyone else - to take a goddamn piss.

Shoving the angry rant out of my mind I pressed through the crowd of chattering students in search for a familiar face, but I didn't see Mello or Near - I was only looking for Near because he always somehow had a general idea of where everyone was - but I didn't see him anywhere.

I frowned, disappointed in the lack of best friend beside me, lingering around in the hallway. It was a free period, and I didn't want to just stand around the entire time looking for Mello. We hadn't planned anything specific, so just heading to the place we had planned wasn't an option. Letting out a sigh I headed for the general direction of the restrooms, hoping that I wouldn't actually have to go in looking for him.

"Matty! Matty!"

I halted, hearing the nickname come shouting down the hallway after me. I was almost relieved and happy, except the voice wasn't Mellos. It was Kellys.

Why the hell was she calling me Matty?

I turned around anyway, unable to ignore the consistently annoying calling voice of the girl running after me. She was a pretty girl, I guessed, but not particularly attractive to me. She had long blonde hair, only a little longer than Mello's but it wasn't a golden blonde like his was, instead more of a bleached out blonde that I didn't think was natural because her skin was too tan for it. She had blue eyes, too, but not an icy blue like Mello's but instead a greenish blue that was pretty but, like I said, I compared very single girl to Mello now a day and really she wasn't anything close to him.

"Uh, hi?" I greeted half-heartedly, automatically adjusting my goggles more securely over my eyes. She smiled at me, not a nice smile exactly, more of a smirk. But not a happy smirk, more like a scary smirk, like the way I imagined a lion hunting some innocent animal would smirk, if it could. That made me extremely uncomfortable, that thought.

But the girl didn't seem to notice my uneasiness, or chose to ignore it, because she came way too close to me, her extremely large chest-area brushing my arm, which I quickly moved away. I guess breasts are great on girls and all, but I'm kind of a homosexual, so…

"Hey, Matt, I'm sooo glad I finally found you! I was looking everywhere!" She said, fanning herself as if she'd been running, which I didn't think she was considering the pace she was talking, which I wanted to point out, but I instead I just blurted out, "Uh, why?"

The girls face flashed to irritation for a second before going back to that smile, which now that I thought about it reminded me more of a housecat stalking a mouse than a lion, since she wasn't really scary enough to be a lion. "Well," she started, once again closing the distance between her chest and me, which was extremely uncomfortable, her hand moving to my hand, which I immediately wanted to pull away. "I was just wondering if you were busy this afternoon."Yes, yes I was busy this afternoon, I had a Mello to follow around.

"Uh, I don't know, I think so," is all I manage though, and her face goes to mock sadness, a pout face - nothing close to the heart-wrenching pout mello can put on, by the way - and I feel her hands creep up my arms and stop at my cheeks, her eyes narrowing in that flirtatious way.

"Awwww…. Really? Because…" her hands inched upwards a little more, brushing through my hair. Which made me want to scream at her to stop, but if I did I knew the people in the hallway would see us and I really didn't want that to happen. "…I was really hoping to hang out with you tonight."I didn't like the way she talked, like she knew me or something. I'm just moving away when I hear a voice call me from the hallway. "Matt!"

I flinch in surprise, because it's Mello's voice, and of course NOW he shows up, at the worst time possible. Kelly's face doesn't falter though, and she's already clung her way around me so I couldn't turn around. I hiss under my breath and my hands go to her shoulders, pulling her away from me. "Stop tha--""Matt-- oh."

The voice is right beside me now, and I see the blonde I had been looking for looming beside me, icy blue gaze on the both of us. Kelly pretends to be surprised he was there - as if she didn't hear him coming - but I shove her away immediately, shooting her a warning look before going back to looking at Mello, not pausing to look at the girls furious face. "Mell--"I'm cut off when Mello's hand clasps around mine and I'm suddenly being dragged in the other direction without a word from the blonde as he half led, half dragged me across the now mostly deserted hallway towards the stairs.

"M-Mells, you don't understand," I hurriedly stammered, face burning with embarrassment from the situation and shame that I seemed to have no ability to do anything to push her away until Mello had shown up. Was I that weak that I just stumbled under the lust of some girl that I didn't know? I mean, I had no lust for her, but that look in her eyes had trapped me, somehow. I was only thirteen it wasn't like I was used to this, you know? (Almost fourteen, though, so I guess that excuse is dead.)

Mello made no move to reply to me, only continuing to storm his way towards the stairs. I couldn't make myself move to stop him, but panic was boiling inside me, making my face burn more than before. Was he angry at me? Usually when he was he'd snap at me, but now he was just furiously dragging me away from the scene.

"M-Mells!" I gasp as I trip over the last few stairs, but he doesn't seem to notice, jerking me back up again and dragging me towards our room, never giving me a good look at his face to see his expression. Worry floods through me and I hurry my pace to stop from being dragged.

When we make it to our doors I halt myself, though, not allowing myself to be dragged all the way into the room, though the clutch on my hand doesn't go away. "Mello! Please, just let me explain, I did-didn't--""Shut up."I freeze. The voice that Mello used was one full of blank, blunt annoyance, the kind of voice you'd use when telling a dog to sit or lay down when it was being overly hyper. An order. My mouth clamps shut, despite the shame it rises in the back of my head, and allow myself to be dragged all the way into the bedroom.

He releases me when I'm all the way in, the circulation in my hand returning, and he slams the door shut, his face still opposite mine so I'm forced to stare at his back as he seethes.

What had happened to the happiness we had shared in the classroom, that silent joy? What had happened? I felt myself become desperate, reaching out mentally for anything from Mello. I didn't care if it was out of apology or out of anger or even just another blunt order, I just needed…anything.

I got the back of his head again.

"M-Mells…" I manage a whisper, forgetting the 'shut up' order without thinking about it, but Mello doesn't seem to care. I notice he's shaking a little bit, and I decide to move on my own, taking a cautious step forward and reaching my hand out to rest it on his shoulder.

It's only just grazed his skin when he whirls around, startling the hell out of me and making my hand jerk away automatically. His face is burning with a furious blush, lips pressed into a thin angry line, but his eyes contradicting in the way that they were wide and blue, ridden with sorrow. I didn't understand, so I only stood there, staring at him with a face that I knew was desperate one, silently begging him to speak.

Mello

That bitch.

That bitch had gotten to him first.

You should have seen Matt's face, that whore clinging all over him. He looked so blank, so completely and utterly shocked. As if he couldn't believe he was talking to her or something. At first I t thought that might mean he had no attraction to that whore - though I had a feeling that wasn't the case if he was indeed straight - but as soon as I showed up his face got horrified. It as only then hat he pushed her away, and now here he was, apologizing and begging for forgiveness that I can't give him.

I can't forgive him not for the reasons you think - I cant forgive him because he hasn't done anything wrong. He wasn't even flirting with Kelly, and even if he had been….

It wasn't any of my business. But I was jealous - dammit, I thought I was over this stupid jealousy thing after the Linda thing, but now it was even worse. Because the way she flirted with him was a direct attack on me after the hallway run in, I knew, and it made me feel absolutely furious.

The door slams shut behind me, and I can't face him. Can't look at him because I know he's looking at me with that puppy dog face, desperate and begging. I know if I turn around I'll automatically forgive him, and probably break down and become that weakling self I am when I'm alone with him. I can't help it, nobody could with that face.

I wondered if Kelly or Linda had ever seen that face. That desperate face that Matt, MY matt, showed only to me. Or at least, I thought he did.

I wondered if anyone else here had seen his eyes.

Those beautiful green eyes, those eyes that would force me to give him everything and anything. Those eyes that were on MY Matty. The Matt that I owned, that was MINE, that somehow in my mind belonged to me. He was not for rent. He was mine, he was my first love, my first friend, the first person I'd ever slept in the same bed with that I wasn't related to.

'Maybe I'll just steal the first kiss off those cute little lips of his.'

That slut's voice whispered through me, and I felt myself stiffen with anger, remembering that threat. Remembering the threat to steal what I wanted so much, which was Matt. Matt's first kiss couldn't be to her. It was unacceptable. I couldn't let him give that or anything else to that slut.

I found myself whirling around without any warning to me or apparently Matt, because his previously reaching hand whipped around and he jumped back, eyes wide. I was right - he did have that puppy dog look in his eyes, but it wasn't the same as usual, more confused and less desperate. But he was looking at me in such a way that asked 'what did I do wrong? Have I been bad?' Like the way a puppy look at you when they'd chewed up your favorite shoes.

I felt so many thoughts flashing through me at once, my nerves crashing into my shame and I took a few steps back, bumping into the wall, feeling my face burning with a blush. Matt watched me, studying me with big, confused eyes, but I could barely look at him. I just kept imagining Kelly as she draped over him, that flirtatious look in her eyes, like one of those creepy venues fly trap things that catch flies in their mouth or something. Matt, staring at her like she was from outer space, shocked at her sudden appearance. I knew what she was trying to do. She was trying to steal Matt, probably trying to get an excuse to kiss him. To beat me in this evil, torturous game of lust.

I hated it.

"Mells," Matt whispered, taking a few steps towards me. I can't move, I'm just standing there against the wall, my lips pressed together, trying to contain all my emotions. His hands move to rest on my shoulders, and I shiver under his touch, resisting the urge to touch him back. "Mells, I'm sorry," he whispered, "I was trying to find you, honestly, I wasn't meaning to hurt you, she came out of no where, and.."His voice trailed off, his goggled eyes searching mine desperately. Breaking my cold exterior from the inside out, shattering the barrier and allowing the emotion to leak through. Slowly resolution takes me over and my hands slowly reach up, closing around the goggles around his eyes. Carefully I pull them away from his eyes to rest on his forehead, my hands not moving from his face, taking in his green eyes. The green eyes that were staring at me with wide eyes, the cheeks they resided above now pink with blush, his red hair fluffed out around his face. His face is warm against my hands - had he blushed when Kelly touched hr like this?"M-Mells?" Matt whispered my nickname again, with those pink lips that the fight had been about, that held the first kiss I needed so badly somehow. His eyes were wide, searching, and I realize how close my face is to his. His hands are still on my shoulders, but they tighten a little, obviously not understanding why I was acting this way.

But I didn't have the effort to hold back anymore, and I leaned upwards, pulling his head closer to mine as I closed my eyes, closing the space between our lips, pressing myself against him, hands tangling in his hair to keep him from moving away in surprise. He didn't move, frozen, as I pressed my lips on his. It was like fire, almost, both our first kisses whisked away in that reflexive movement, his hands tightening in surprise around my shoulders.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but it felt so…nice. I wanted it to last forever, because it felt good, because I loved him, but most of all I didn't want to face his reaction when I finally broke away. But breathing was a must, unfortunately, and I had to break the kiss, dropping backwards against the wall, releasing him completely from my grasp.

I stared at him, and his reaction was what I expected. Just shock. Just staring at me, not understanding, his face burning, mouth clamped shut as his hands rushed to cover it, as if not believing what had just happened. But I had won, and I found a tiny mischief of a smile creep across my lips.

"I'm your first kiss, Matt," I whispered, poking his arm and staring him in those huge, shocked green eyes. "Don't forget that. Nobody else is allowed to have you. Not Kelly or Linda or May or anyone. I win."

Matt just stared at me. I didn't see it in his eyes, there was nothing, only searching, searching my eyes. He didn't even react. He only stared, eyes searching my face, my body language, and I saw him trying to figure. As if asking ME how he was suppose to react.

As if he couldn't even think for himself anymore. Had I used him that much? Did I think I owned him so much that I could control everything he did, right down to his very feelings and thoughts, right down to the person he liked?

And then I turned and walked out the door, unable to face him anymore with such shame in my heart. I'd stolen that kiss, and for what?

It didn't change anything.

A/N: This chapter... is confusin a little -facedesk- hopefully you can still understand it. ^_^'

Bad boy, Mells, stealing Mattys first kiss -tisktisk- without even confessing first, goddamit.

I hope you all hate Kelly as much as i do 8D

...the next chapter has much angst and emo and.... Near. :C DUNDUNDUN... however its not finishd yet so lol u has u wait.