Chapter Three: All is fair in Love and Phones

Attention all Cruise Guests. Muster Drill is now in progress. If you haven't already done so, please retrieve your lifejackets and without wearing them proceed to Deck 4. Stay clear of the doors and please remain silent during the drill so everyone may benefit…

"There! Right by the theater doors! Now bring those bags in closer we don't want to loose them and Ethan I know Iris is on your shoulders but can you like try to stay on your feet? Hey excuse me sir but can you take our picture please? Okay! I think we're all set! Say Gouda everyone!!!"

Lindsay chirped out happily smiling as the older male snapped off a few pictures of the lifejacket wearing group before handing the blonde back her new camera. "Yay! Our first cruise group photo!!! Now we can actually start our cruise!"

"Good thing the gift shop was open huh Lindsay." Noah commented with a dry smirk. The jumping bubbly blonde enthusiastically nodded. "I know right? And they just had the cutest little bikini!"

"We know." Gwen interjected with a smile pointing to the new teal bikini with light pink flowers that Lindsay wore though only the bottom of the suit could be seen thanks to the bulky lifejacket. "And you had to get in every color." Noah finished.

"Well every color except blue. I saved that for Brenna." Lindsay declared before pulling said suit out of one of her many shopping bags and shoving it in the arms of the other blonde. "Umm…thank you Lindsay."

"Well hurry up and try it on! I want to see how cute you look!" Bridgette looked from the rapidly filling theater before turning a smile back on the taller girl. "I think the Muster Drill is about to start."

"So? Now hurry up and change before the Ketchup Drill comes!" The surfer girl stared in disbelief for a moment or two. Lindsay ended it by grabbing her hand and leading her rapidly out of the room.

Chris McClain wasn't happy. And when he wasn't happy the explorers rejoiced. Only now they had more of a reason to celebrate. Chef Hatchet the Gourmet of Gross had been absent since last night's vote off and his whereabouts were unknown.

"Well wherever Chef is he's happy and Chris isn't. Not that I'm complaining." Cody commented absently through a mouthful of hotdogs. A loud protest from the sadistic host caused the tecnogeek to grin broadly showing bits of chewed up meat.

The rest of the teens were also amused especially when Chris started to whine into the phone he held in his hand. "But Cheeef? How come you got to go? Not that you don't DESERVE to have gone…Gosh Darn it! This is about all the nerdy, homeschooled and insane comments isn't it?"

At the mention of the word nerd LeShawna's eyes widened. "Is that my sugar baby on the phone?" The sister asked walking up purposely towards the host. What happened next resorted in a brief tug of war over the device ending up with LeShawna as the victor.

Smiling the sister hit the speaker button and Chef's voice was broadcast throughout the tent. "Not that it's not great talkin to you Chef, but can Luscious LeShawna speak to her sugar baby? After a brief pause Harold's happy voice was heard.

"My Chocolate Goddess! How I have missed you my love!"

LeShawna smiled back at the sound of her pet name. "How you been baby? You guys been kickin it real at Playa des Losers?" Nearby Courtney let out a snicker. "Key word being loser." The CIT snickered before receiving a venomous glare from the sister.

"Cheated on the Million bucks yes. But would a LOSER have managed to guess one of 10 super secret questions to win a week's cruise in the Bahamas which by the way has been ongoing for well over two weeks?"

"Wait Harold baby back up. You are where now?!"

"Tampa Florida in the United States. See Izzy, Ezekiel and I won the radio contest and in an act of gallantry Noah graciously gave up his claim on the last of our prize winning tickets to Gwen with the other going to Chef as our show guardian of course."

Around the tent the Killer Finders and Screaming Trekkers are staring wide eyed at the phone that the sassy sister held. Chris scowled and yanked it away. "Just cause you guys picked Chef instead of Moi does not mean that I'm jealous!"

The host barked into the phone. In response came a very cynical sounding laugh. LeShawna's eyes widened and she yanked back the phone. "Turkey boy? You're there too? But Harold said-"

"Yes. I as well as Tyler, Lindsay and Bridgette are here as well wearing the fashionable red and yellow lifejackets. Though the latter are currently pit stopped if you get my drift. As for the why? Lindsay wanted to go on the trip and her dad made it happen."

Noah finished dryly though LeShawna could have sworn that somehow the show know-it-all somehow seemed a teeny bit happier then normal. Her musings were cut to an end when Chris grabbed back the phone.

Just as quickly it was taken away again this time by a very hyper pair of girls. "Oh my gosh! Noah you guys so have to get Sadie and me a snow globe from the Bahamas!" Next to Katie Sadie clapped her hands in excitement.

"Oh my gosh yes! Katie and I have been collecting snow globes since like forever and we totally don't have one from the Bahamas yet! Or from a Cruise Ship. Do you think you could like get us a cruise snow globe too? Pleeeeeeease!! Pretty pretty please!!!"

"Oh sure. I'd love to spend my vacation searching shops for little junky tourist overprized knick knacks. And oh let me guess…you want matching snow globes."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" The BFFFL's shrieked happily jumping up and down with the phone. With a dark frown Chris reclaimed the phone only for it to disappear again. The host scowled. "Would you knock it off with the phone stealing already?!"

Trent ignored him and spoke into the phone eagerly. "GWEN!! GWEN!!! Are you there Gwen?!" A few seconds later the Goth spoke.

"For the last time Trent, we are just friends and we will continue to be just friends. That said I got you a few things from the Lucky 9 store on board."

The disappointment on the musician's face abruptly turned to glee at the mention of his favorite number. "You mean there is a store called Lucky 9?! Oh I so have to get the shirt! And the pin and the postcards cup holder, giant inflatable number 9 and-"

"I get it Trent. And no I'm not telling you what I got. Now continue to do your best at the challenges WITHOUT fixing them and tell LeShawna to kick Courtney on the butt for voting Homeschool off on his Birthday."

All around the room people choked on their food and drink at that last interesting tidbit. The CIT in particularly was less then pleased. "You mean that socially inept sexist actually shares the same birthday as ME?! That is UNEXCEPTABLE!!!"

"No what is unacceptable is the meanie CIT voting off the other half of Ezzy! No one votes off my Zeke and gets away with it! Oh and hey Courtney BEWAAAARE!! Of Baby Teeth!"

At Izzy's cheerful threat warning the overachiever let out a scoff. "Please. As if that's a real th…what is that sound?"

Chris and the rest of the explorers looked up to see a hole being carved into the canvas of the tent. Courtney frowned. "What on earth?"

"3…2…and 1!!!" Izzy cheered as a sick sounding glop sounded over the phone followed by a loud plop and then a crash. Grinning eagerly she waited for the explosion. IZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZYYYYY!!!!!!!!"

"Gertie Green Gooagram!!!! And next time CIT leave E-venger's Zekey friend be!" Izzy announced cheerfully before ending the call. With a wicked grin she tossed the phone at the bemused Chef Hatchet.

Not surprisingly the antics of the Total Drama crew both present and remote had resulted in a makeover lifeguard drill. The end of the mandatory session brought the return of Bridgette and Lindsay.

"Sorry we're late for the Ketchup Drill guys! I guess we have to take the Pickle or Relish Drill test then huh? But it took awhile to find the right size and then this really mean girl wanted the same one and there was no way I was letting THAT happen! I mean showees before strangers right?"

Ignoring the sobbing crew member in the background, Bridgette removed her lifejacket showing off her new bikini. Like Lindsay's it had flowers decorating various parts of the light blue bikini only hers were a pale yellow color.

Lindsay clasped her hands together eagerly. "So I told Brenna that nothing cures heartbreak better then fake tanner, tacos and a good bikini! And there are sooo many cute guys on the ship! Well not as cute as my Tiger Ty, but close!"

"So what do you think?" Bridgette asked playfully turning her attention on the quartet of guys. Noah buried himself in his ever present book, Tyler and Harold gave her thumbs up and Ezekiel froze before fainting.

Izzy examined her best friend for a moment before letting out a delighted cackle. Oh yeah knockout by bikini! I knew my Zeke was still hot for the surfer girl!"

Imagi's Ramblings: Okay next part done! Poll is still going on please take it! And Necro hope you liked! :D

Thanks for the reviews everyone! Keep them coming please! I need distractions from the TDM show Zeke hate. Make up your mind put him on and be done with it! I'm tired of the flip flopping!

Oh and blog site for TDI on my profile...go there and rant about what there doing to ZEKE!

Oh yeah and Muster drill is the mandatory drill you take on cruise ships. Sit in a room, get checked off, listen to the instructions and your done. ;)

Gertie Gooagram well I call one of the shark's Gertie. I think you can guess what happened to the CIT. :D

Thanks again!

Imagi