Chapter Seven: Crazy Antics, Castles and Cake, Oh My!
"OF COURSE THEY'RE DYSFUNCTIONAL! THEY'RE ON TOTAL DRAMA FOR PETE SAKES! THAT SHOW WOULD MAKE ANYONE CRAZY!"
Chef Hatchet's voice boomed out from the near empty bar area where he had been since the performance in the theater had ended much earlier this evening. Taking another sip from his brightly colored drink, he continued his conversation with the bar tender.
"Maybe I'm overreacting, I mean they DID choose me over Chris for the trip guardian and it was nice they threw Homeschool the surprise party and the Bookworm DID give Head Soldier that painting she's been eyeing...all wrapped up like a birthday present…wide eyed look of disbelief and joy…-"
The show cook sniffed a little in remembrance, before his face darkened once more. "-BUT DARN IT! HOMESCHOOL'S BIRTHDAY WAS THE WEEK BEFORE THIS CRUISE STARTED! AND BOOKWORM COULD HAVE WAITED! Instead of leaving ME to think that-"
Yanking out the pink umbrella and straw from the glass, Chef proceeded to down the rest of the drink. Slamming it down on the counter he opened his mouth again to speak, only to sway a bit. The bar tender shook his head before summoning someone to escort the patron back to his room.
Most people weren't even aware that the ship had finally docked into home port. They were still fast asleep in their beds or in the process of just struggling to get up. Others were just wandering the ship or heading down to breakfast.
The Total Drama crew however was just given the green light to begin early disembarkment…or they would have if they ever managed to find Lindsay's passport. Despite constant warnings, the bubbly blonde had packed the all important document into one of her many suitcases or so she thought.
"I think I packed the paper thingy in my Pralla…or was it Gooey? Or was it the Lou Vittle luggage?" Lindsay wondered out loud as Noah and Harold quickly pawed through the many suitcases and bags littering the entrance hall.
To expedite the process, each of the searched items was given to a few crew members who traveled the long gangway down to ground level where the other campers and Chef waited with several empty carts.
Dressed in a bright red Hawaiian shirt, Tyler talked adamantly on his cell phone a few feet from the group while in matching shirt and dress decorated with snakes and bears, Ezekiel and Izzy respectfully helped the crew with the luggage.
Or rather Ezekiel was. Izzy was bouncing on her feet eavesdropping in on the jock's conversation. "What he say what he say?!" Izzy asked eagerly as the jock continued to chat away before Tyler could comment someone else spoke up.
"NO ONE CARES! NOW HUSH! I GOT A HEADACHE AND YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE!" Chef barked out in the direction of the red head's voice before groaning in displeasure."
Immediately something was shoved in his hand. "Less talking more water." Gwen ordered standing her ground at the scowl of death Chef shot her. "Gwen's right…you just concentrate on relaxing and getting rid of your hangover and we'll take care of everything." Bridgette added soothingly.
"RELAX?! HOW CAN I RELAX WITH THIS DANG BLINDFOLD OVER MY EYES?!" Chef yelled gesturing with a firm finger at his covered eyes wincing in the process. Gwen rolled her own. "You DID agree to let Harold put it on remember?"
"Yeah…BUT MOST PEOPLE DON'T FORCE THEIR SUPERIOR OFFICER TO WANDER FROM THEIR CABIN, THE WHOLE BLASTED SHIP AND DOWN TO SHORE WITH A BLINDFOLD ON!"
"Well we're not like most people!" Izzy chimed in cheerfully before her attention once again caught by the sound of another phone ringing this time coming from Chef's short pocket. "Izzy got it!" The crazy girl announced as she retrieved the phone. Grinning widely she answered it.
Due to the Total Drama phone plan that applied to everyone except for Chris McClain, it was soon discovered that Chef as well as his little eight camper charges could not be reached out in the middle of the ocean. And apparently they left their phones in the hotel room since they never answered the hundred of messages and texts that he had left, but now there was no excuse.
Grinning broadly at the familiar voice of the camp psycho broadcast conveniently through the crowded food tent for maximum gloat purposes, Chris McClain responded back. "Izzy! Crazy girl! How are you enjoying your LAST FEW HOURS in Sunny Florida?"
"Oh, we're enjoying it just FINE."
Izzy chuckled evilly causing the rest of explorers to exchange disturbed and worried looks. Chris blinked. "Yeee-ah…Izzy…for visual effect purposes describe what's happening around you…since obviously me...and the explorers ARE NOT THERE!" Izzy chuckled again.
"Someone's a little jea-lous…but sure okay! My Zeke is helping the crew with 60% of the luggage, we've blindfolded Chef who's hung-over by the way and Gwen and Bridgey are watching him, Lindsay, Noah and Harold are still on the ship looking for Lindsay's passport in the other 40% of luggage and Tyler is on the phone with his…dad. And that's only this morning! You should have seen what ELSE happened!"
Chris's eyes went wide. "What…else…IZZY! TELL ME YOU GOT IT ON FILM!" As their host continued to press the cackling red head for answers, both the Killer Finders and the Screaming Trekkers looked at each other.
"Sooo…guys anyone care to guess what happened?" Cody suggested casually. Eva next to the techno geek scoffed. "Well they obviously managed to make it back WITHOUT sinking the boat and if they had landed on "America's Most Wanted" We WOULD have heard about it from Mr. Big Mouth over there." The strong woman pointed out gesturing to the narcissist host.
"That's cause My Zekey has been keeping an eye on his Izzy friend! Making sure Izzy didn't ruin her super stuffy dress for the nice picture, keeping meany Devi Devil away, going down the slide with her into the shark tent and ending up with a cameo on Amazing Dash-"
"FOR THE LOVE OF ALL IMPORTED HAIR GEL! TELL ME YOU GOT THAT ON CAMERA!"
At the Screaming Trekkers table, Duncan next to LeShawna laughed in amusement both at Izzy's unexpected answer and the sight of Chris begging adamantly to the phone.
"Okay that girl may be whack, but you have to admit…she does have a certain finesse about it. And torture of the host is always a plus in my book. " The sister also smirked. "For once Baby Boy I have to agree."
Ignoring the outraged shriek from Courtney, the sassy female continued. "As much as I miss my Baby Girl and my Sugar Baby I hope they had a good time on that ship of there's after all after all we been through on this show we ALL could use a vacation away from Total Drama pain in my momma's-"
LeShawna's words were cut off by the excited yell on the other end this time belonging to Tyler. The jock was jumping up and down and yelling about something happily. Izzy proceeded to shush him.
"Shhh!!! Izzy's talking to Chris! And Chef is not supposed to…oh! So Bridgey and Gwen took him to go get the shuttle? Uh huh...Uh huh…oh almost forgot…Hi everybody on Total Drama Wilderness! Izzy and the others miss you guys! Well…not Geoff since he voted off my buxomlicious buddy Lindsay, my partner in fruit crime Bridgey and CIT for voting off Izzy's ZEKE!!!"
DJ let out a cough and stood up from the Killer Finder's table and walked over to take the phone away from Chris who reluctantly yet slowly handed over the phone to the gentle giant. DJ smiled before dressing his ex teammate on the phone.
"Actually Izzy, I as well as the other Finders…well we voted off Geoff. I feel guilty about it... but it was the right thing to do! Especially over the unfair vote and his not cool attitude. Not Cool!"
Just as quick as DJ's anger came, it faded and the brickhouse turned towards a more positive topic. "So now that you guys are off the ship I suppose your heading to the airport now huh." Izzy cackled causing DJ to jump up in fright as the red head explained.
"Oh we're NOT going home TODAY. Since our guardian is monkey punch drunk WE can't get on the plane so Tyler got his dad to book us another flight! But since there's this BIG performance in Toronto something to do with some boy band super star we can't get home right away."
Chris McClain's eyes narrowed. "And just WHEN are you guys heading back?"
"Oh about 3 or 4 days from now…or is it 5 or 6…but hey! Gives us enough time to celebrate Chef's big day and for us wayward explorers to have even more fun!"
"Hey Iris! I finally found my paper thingie!" Lindsay said cheerfully as she walked down the walkway followed by an exhausted Harold and Noah carrying the last of the luggage. "It had to be the very last bag."
Noah grumbled out while Lindsay pouted. "It was not! It was in the very first bag. You guys just looked from the wrong end." Harold slapped his forehead. "And you could have told us before GOSH!"
"And you guys could have chosen another time to take that FREE trip of yours! Like I don't know…after the season when a certain ho-HEY!"
"Just ignore him, Chris is just a little hot under the collar about the whole Chef going and not him thing."
Izzy grinned happily as the mostly ignored annoyed complaints of Chris on the phone instantly became replaced with the sassy attitude of LeShawna. "What's up my sister??" LeShawna chuckled.
"Everything's fine here Izzy. Now if you don't mind can little Shawnie speak to her Sugar Baby?"
"Sure! Hey Harold your girlfriend wants to-"
In a sudden burst of renewed energy, Harold raced over to Izzy and gladly took away the phone. "I've missed you my Chocolate Goddess." Harold cooed into the phone causing Lindsay to awww and Noah to shoot himself with an imaginary gun.
"Same here Sugar Baby. Care to tell LeShawna about your adventures at sea?"
Due to sheer amount of purchases by the Total Drama Crew, two shuttles had been needed. One carried the dosing Chef and most of the explorers while the other carried most the majority of the bags and a trio of former campers.
Whoever said distance made the heart grow fonder must have referred to Harold and LeShawna. Bridgette inwardly mused to herself as she watched the auburn haired nerd converse happily with his beloved goddess.
"Not to worry my beloved, I shall faithfully record each and every sight so you can see them through video and photography since your gorgeous visage is incapable of seeing them in person at the present time."
Harold gushed happily completely unaware of the chorus of both awws and disgust on the other end from both Chris and the other explorers. Bridgette giggled happily before her head turned towards the other person in the shuttle.
Ezekiel was currently staring out the window with his mouth open. Had the surfer girl been able to see his eyes behind his new video camera, she would notice his utter amazement with everything.
Since the appearance of giant moving billboards advertising everything from a falling tower with people in it, to a giant green man and even an alien on a bicycle, Ezekiel had immediately sprung from the left side of the shuttle to the right in hopes of catching the fascinating images on film.
Bridgette chuckled. "Putting your birthday gift to good use I see." Ezekiel nodded back with a grin causing the camera to also bob. "I want to get the camera on everything foor my family eh! And wait til mom sees that I saw a bicycle riding alien!"
Harold fought back a snicker and Bridgette giggled a bit as she tried to explain. "Uh...Zeke that's actually a ride in one of the big parks here in Orlando…actually all of them are." The prairie boy's eyes widened.
"Really?! Wow…Izzy's gooing to be real excited eh…boot that elevator looks really unstable…maybe I won't have to go on that one…or the one with the green man…boot I'm dooing the bicycle with the alien eh!"
Bridgette couldn't help it and she laughed again a frequent occurrence as of late. Since she had gone on the cruise with Ezekiel and the others and she had been forced by Izzy to spend time with her best friend she had discovered more sides to the so called sexist boy.
Without a doubt Ezekiel was as far from street smart as you could get. And he was naïve that was true, but somehow there was a hidden purity to his actions…easily missed unless you were paying attention.
And her earlier assumption of the prairie boy being stupid couldn't be farther from the truth…the ease of the various foreign phrases out of his mouth followed by the lightning quick translations would have even Courtney's head spinning.
Then there was Ezekiel's dedication and loyalty to his friends, especially Izzy. No matter how unsure or unwilling he was, he almost always followed after Izzy for good or bad.
Though in Izzy's case it's usually the latter. Bridgette mused to herself with a smile. A sudden yell brought her attention back on the prairie boy. "I think that's the new hotel eh!" Ezekiel cheered before moving back towards the right for a closer look.
Just then the shuttle hit a bump causing Ezekiel to lose his balance and he pitched forward and landed in the blonde's lap causing Bridgette's eyes to widen in surprise and her face to flush pink before she smirked.
"And here I thought I was the clumsy one on the show." The ponytailed girl teased as a red faced Ezekiel removed himself from her lap and sank into the seat next to her smiling sheepishly as his free hand tugged on his toque.
Sitting up in the surprisingly soft seat, Chef Hatchet let out a loud yawn. As consciousness gradually returned, the camp cook was relieved to discover the lingering effects of his hang-over had finally dissipated.
Pleased that the pounding drums in his ears had vanished he let out another loud yawn before he opened his eyes…to familiar blackness. For a brief moment his mind panicked and his hands flew up to his eyes only to meet cotton.
The utter relief on his face turned to a scowl as he realized that those punk teenagers still had him wearing that god forsaken blindfold! Frowning he spoke. "Okay Maggots...I've been VERY patient. And that patience has now run out…so you better…REMOVE THIS BLASTED BLINDFOLD!"
Chef's keen military ears heard the sound of something swooshing into place as well as footsteps and something landing nearby with a heavy thump and a bounce. He also heard hurried whispering.
"Well?" Chef Hatchet demanded to the voices. There was a pause before Harold's raspy voice was heard. "Before we do…we shall require your promise that you shall neither look out the window nor shall you watch T.V. until we reveal the truth behind our epic web of-
"Oh my gosh!!! Harry! I just saw on the TV that there is actually a princess dress up shop in Dizzy World! They even give you this special slash if you go! And a super special one of it's your Birthday!"
The voice of the dimwitted blonde was followed instantly by a series of displeased groans. "GOSH! Thanks a lot for ruining the surprise!" Harold commented angrily before Chef's blindfold was immediately removed and his world went white.
Blinking a few times to get used to his surroundings, Chef immediately recognized his charges almost all clad in swim gear. The majority of the boys were sitting on a bed a few feet away while the girls were gathered in the doorway. All of them were glaring at Lindsay.
Ignoring the arguing teenagers for a moment, the show assistant took in the beach themed room from the beds to the drawn curtains. Shoving the drape aside Chef's Hatchet's eyes widened even more.
"See this is why we should have also blindfolded Lindsay…would have saved us the trouble."
"You're not covering my girlfriend's eyes!"
"Of course we didn't, which leads us to now."
"You Guys! Can't we just settle this peacefully?"
Having concluded his inspection of the hotel room, the cook turned to address the group. "Does anyone want to tell me why we're here and not up in the airplane right now?" Noah stepped forward.
"Three reasons. One you were drunk, leading to boarding forfeiture had we actually gone to the airport. Lucky for you we planned ahead. As for Two…there's apparently some hot shot boy band in Toronto and instead of waiting fruitlessly on standby we made other arrangements."
"And Three we COULD have gotten the last seats for the flight tonight, but we choose not to! After all…who wants to go back home on your Birthday?! So we're here for longer!" Izzy chimed gleefully.
For once Chef was speechless. "You…soldiers did this all for me?" The group nods. "Yep! And not to worry my dad and Lindsay's folks are paying for the trip extension! Tyler said with a smile.
"And Tyler and I had to give up like the latest limited edition nail polish and the sweat suit, but it's so worth it cause now we get to meet all the movie princesses!" Lindsay squealed before she looked thoughtful. "I wonder if Beth will let me borrow one of her dresses…"
"Beth YES! Belle NO! My Birthday I get to ask her!" Chef Hatchet frowned before he grinned at the group. "Now Soldiers you got 5 minutes to get ready, before I leave you behind!" The explorers saluted.
Salagadoola Means Mechicka Booleroo
But The Thingamabob That Does The Job Is
Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo…
Gwen stabbed her fork through her pork chop and viciously drew her knife back with the ease of a professional murderer. Noah raised an eyebrow. "I take it you don't care for the song." The know-it-all drawled.
The goth scowled. "I'm in a fairy tale castle. I had to take multiple pictures with sugary sappy princesses and to top it of I'm even DRESSED like a sugary sappy princess!" Gwen said angrily as she once again fought down the urge to rip the pink fabric of her dress and yank the crown from her head.
"But it's Chef's day eh." Ezekiel commented with a smile his toque oddly enough matching the soft lily pad green uniform that he wore. "And he looks loike he's having fun." The prairie boy observed pointing at the end of their table.
Chef dressed in a buttercup yellow dress (something that had required a great deal of persuasion) gleefully clapped his hands in time with the music wearing his Birthday sash and the glittery tiara proudly.
"And when Chef found out that Chris and the producers wanted to pay for his Birthday dinner tonight, he insisted that we all visit the boutique and get the glamour treatment." Bridgette said also smiling very much at home in her flower gown.
"Not to mention our Birthday Chef insisted on picking out all of our prince and princess outfits. I wish that LeShawna was here she would have made an Awwwesome Jasmine, but between me and my buddy Zeke we shall capture every moment! "
Harold cheered happily before his camera became a sudden blur of motion with the appearance of giant mice in dresses dancing around the tables while the fairy godmother cheerfully asked the crowded room of people if they had a birthday.
Happily Chef and the other birthday people replied, receiving pieces of Birthday cake. Gwen on the other hand…her eyes were wide in horror. "Tell me this will be over soon." She moaned her head hitting the table.
Imagi's Ramblings: For starters I don't drink so if I got the hang-over symptoms wrong let me know so I can fix. And hopefully I don't have to explain about Lindsay and her bags…anyway disembarkment varies per ship so I guessed there and the billboards more or less exist.
The Prince and Princess outfits as far as I know they don't sell adult versions in the park…though I could be wrong…and Chef is well Chef…a huge once in a lifetime exception in his case.
Also the group is sitting at Cinderella's Royal Table one of the big dining experience in Disney World. ;) And I don't own the song either.
Hope you guys enjoy! And Necro…how's the punctuation this time? :) *hug*
Thanks for the reviews!
Imagi