Spirit to Flesh: A Twific by LittleWing, betad by the genius of Jessica1971
A/N: I just wanted to say Thank You! to everyone who read, rec'd and reviewed the first 5 chapters. You guys are some kind of awesome! Extra special sloppy wet kisses to Jessica1971, for being the best story pimp a girl ever had, Elizabethan, for getting on twitter for me AND starting a thread for this story, my big sis, for telling me I could do this, and Trice, for letting me know that I could write. The link to the Spirit to Flesh thread is on my profile. See you there!
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or The Love Letter. I'm just playin around and havin a ball. No infringement intended. No money made. Viva Le Fan Fiction!
Chapter 6: Something Found
"Miracles do happen, Mr. Cullen."
Silence. There was complete silence in his mind for the first time in so long he couldn't remember. Usually he had a song or a piece of music at the back of his mind, but what note do you play for the impossible? So his mind was silent as he read her words over and over.
"Miracles do happen, Mr. Cullen."
She got his letter.
He and Victoria had spent last night together after dinner at her favorite restaurant. He found himself slightly distracted during their lovemaking, but he didn't think she'd noticed since she fell asleep immediately after her third orgasm. He usually enjoyed her presence in his bed, but last night he had been restless. After watching the trees sway in the night air outside his window for an hour and 45 minutes, he got up and wandered the house. He'd bought the land for his house 3 years ago because of the view. He was surrounded by pine and maple trees on 3 sides of his house. From the porch that wrapped around the entire back of his house, you could stand outside and be completely enveloped by the sights and sounds of the woods. When having the house designed, he had 2 requirements – minimal clearing of the trees, and floor to ceiling windows on as many exterior walls as possible. The interior structure was made with beams from the trees that had been cleared, exposed and gleaming in rich reddish browns. His mother called it the tree house. While the house was fully equipped with three traditional bedrooms, Edward had set his bedroom up in a loft that had been built off the living room.
For this reason, he could not play his piano like he normally would. The sound would surely disturb Victoria. So he wandered, eventually finding his way to the desk where he sat staring at the front panel which held their secret. Had she gotten the letter? he wondered.
"Of course not, you idiot," Edward hissed. "It would take more than an old stamp and an even older post office deposit box to thwart the space time continuum."
After he and Victoria left his parents house yesterday, Edward made an excuse about needing to work on a piece of music so that he could be alone. Once inside, he stared at the contents of the black box his mother gave him for a long time before finally giving in and writing her.
As the words flowed, Edward realized how much he had wanted to do this – to reach out to her and tell her how much her words had affected him. He'd written three pages before he'd even realized it, then threw on a pair of sweats to drive across town and mail it at the Manhasset Post Office. "The oldest pre-civil war post office in existence," his mother's note had said on the map that indicated where he should go to mail the letter. He smiled as he pulled up in front of the building. His mother was a force of nature when she got an idea in her head.
Edward tried not to be hopeful as he'd slipped the sealed envelope into the mail slot. By now, with him holding vigil at his desk, it was obvious that he had failed. He hadn't allowed himself to even think about it all day, but the night's silence seemed to have called him to the desk. He fingered the inlay on the desks surface and wondered how such a robust desk came to be hers. Ours, he thought. Just then his fingers began to feel heavy and warm, almost as if he was moving in slow motion. He raised his hand to his face and wiggled his fingers at the strange sensation. As he pushed off from the desk, determined to get some sleep, he suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to open the secret compartment and check.
"For what?" he asked himself aloud. "You're obsessing now," he growled in frustration and pulled himself back to his bed. He dreamt that a letter was waiting for him in the desk.
By morning, Edward was grumpy and tired, wanting only to be left alone. Victoria gave him an amused look and a quick kiss before dressing and heading off to work. As soon as she left, Edward hopped in the shower, trying to wash away the memory of his dream and the compulsion to go downstairs and check the desk. He was thoroughly disgusted with himself by the time he made it to the kitchen and on the verge of blaming his mother for giving him the crazy idea in the first place.
While downstairs, he gave the desk a wide berth, avoiding it in his peripheral vision as he moved around the open kitchen making his breakfast.
"This is ridiculous!" he roared. "There is nothing in there."
To prove his point and finally relieve the tension, he marched to the desk.
"There is nothing in here!"
"…complete ass," he muttered aloud as he pulled back the desk chair roughly and sat down, but he reached in the bottom drawer and pulled the latch just the same.
Edward held his breath as his eyes caught a flicker of white before opening the panel fully to reveal the new letter inside and the one lined note that almost stopped his heart.
As Edward regained his composure and began to construct his reply, he was keenly aware that something really important was shifting in his life. He didn't know what or why, but he knew how he felt – alive for the first time.
-----
They wrote each other at least once a day. Sometimes she would write him twice and he would feel bad and try to catch up the next day. He'd never been so sleep deprived, but also had never been so absolutely exhilarated in his life.
For Edward, it was like talking to a different side of himself, and Bella was so open… so honest, that he couldn't stop himself from imagining that she felt the same way, too. For weeks and weeks his mind was consumed with reading her words and sharing his thoughts. He had never been this unguarded with anyone. Being confined to their letters made their communication more intense. With every letter they feared that the laws of nature would reassert themselves, so they took nothing for granted, infusing each letter with urgency. Bella and Edward tried to convey all that they could about whatever topic they discussed. From jazz to Darwin, to women and politics, to movies she liked that he had never heard of. Bella's curiosity about everything was infectious. But best of all, she shared her poetry and her dreams of becoming a published, though anonymous, author and holding a book of her very own poetry.
"If you're anonymous, how can I tell you if your dream ever comes true?" he'd asked recently.
"You'll know because the book will contain the poems I've already shared, plus one I've written just for you," she had replied.
Her words filled him with a deep sense of contentment that should have bothered him, but didn't. After their recent exchange, he began to realize that receiving a letter from Bella had become the highlight of each day. It was better than his students playing a Rachmaninoff concerto to perfection, and better than lunch with his mother. He began to wonder where a call from Victoria would rank on his priorities and was a little dismayed to find that he could not, in all honesty, place it above a letter from Bella.
Over the past month, Bella had become the center of his world. He had no explanation for how this had happened so quickly, nor did he feel the need to come up with one. He was simply drawn into her deeper and deeper with every word that passed between them.
The change in him had not gone unnoticed. Both Esme and Sylvia watched him in silence as he wrote furiously in this notebook. But neither woman said anything to him about it because, as they noted repeatedly, he looked happier than they remembered seeing him in a long time. Edward had noticed Esme watching him contentedly during their family gatherings, and as he met her gaze briefly with a small smile of his own, Edward knew his mother understood the source of his new found joy. He was glad that she knew. Even though he would never discuss it with her, it made what was happening to him more real, knowing that Esme knew.
When meeting with Emmett and Jasper for drinks, jokes about "the arrangement" didn't bother him as much anymore. Jasper caught on quick.
"Man, you've got that little smile plastered on your face all the time now. What's up with you? This can't have anything to do with 'the arrangement'", Jasper lifted his hand in quotation marks to emphasize the point before taking a sip of his beer.
Abruptly, Jasper slammed his beer on the bar, "Wait, are you cheating on Victoria?" he blurted out.
"What? No, of course not!" Edward stammered. Was he cheating on Victoria? "I'm not seeing anyone else," he continued in response to Jasper's narrowing stare. At least he could say that with absolute conviction. But that was just a technicality. He had already asked Bella to send him a picture of her. In a few days, that would be a lie, too.
"Alright then, so what's the deal?" Emmett grinned, enjoying the rare sight of his younger brother withering under Jasper's gaze.
Edward let out a loud sigh and ran his hands through his hair. "Nothing," he finally offered. "Nothing is going on. I'm just really enjoying the selections for the summer concert. The kids are working really hard." That, at least, was true.
Emmett leaned back on his elbows to get a better look at his brother. The dark circles that framed the undeniable spark of happiness in his eyes, the lightness of his stance, the almost perky way his shoulders stood up under his slightly rumpled shirt. He looked wired; he looked a little crazed. Edward looked in love. I wonder if he even knows it, Emmett thought before turning to Jasper to share his assessment.
"I don't know what it is, but it sure as hell isn't the summer concert." Emmett turned to Edward then. "Man, you look like you're half crazy. You look like you're in love."
Emmett's words hung in the air as two men pondered the possibility and one man tried to think of a plan of escape. Edward concentrated on sounding casual as he let out a nervous laugh.
"Boy, you guys must really need something to talk about." He took a long draw on his beer, pretending to bob his head to the music playing in the background. Emmett and Jasper were not fooled.
"You know you can tell us. It's not like we haven't wanted this for you," Jasper said quietly, leaning in to continue in a lower voice. "Who is she…a student?"
"Please," Edward said in disgust. "You guys couldn't be more wrong. I'm just happy. The wedding is coming up and I'm just anxious to get going with everything."
Emmett and Jasper exchanged looks of disbelief while Edward pretended to check his Blackberry. "Sorry to spoil the mystery here guys, but Victoria's plane arrives in half an hour, so I better get going?"
Before Jasper could protest, Emmett put a hand on Jasper's shoulder. "Alright, I hear you. You go sort it out. We'll be here when you need us."
In that moment, Edward was so grateful for the bond he had with his brother. Emmett always knew when to push and when to let him be. They exchanged brief hugs before Edward hurried out, leaving Jasper and Emmett deep in conversation.
"Whoever she is, he's got it bad. I've never seen him like this," Emmett declared as soon as Edward was out the door. "It's about time. I just hope whoever she is can penetrate the force field around this whole damn wedding. You know, Victoria is strong with the dark side of the force."
Jasper chuckled softly. "Star Wars marathon again?"
"You know it," Emmett smiled. Emmett and his 6 year old son Kyle had a standing monthly ritual to watch the entire Star Wars saga.
"Better late than never, I guess," Jasper muttered deep in thought.
"Wait, you don't know anything about this, do you?"
"No" Jasper said, watching the beads of condensation run down the side of his Guinness. "The other day I walked in on Edward writing what looked like a letter in his office. He was so absorbed that he didn't even hear me come in. When I asked him what he was doing he said 'nothing' and put everything away. It was weird because he was using a fountain pen. At the time, I made a joke about Victoria making him practice calligraphy for the wedding invitations, but he just changed the subject. Now I wonder if he wasn't writing some kind of love letter."
They both fell silent then, each trying to put the pieces together.
------
"Hey you, thanks for picking me up," Victoria said while flipping through her Blackberry as she walked to the open passenger door and sat down.
"You're welcome," Edward replied before closing the door and putting her bags in the trunk.
Edward was in a daze as Victoria launched into the highlights of her trip before they had even cleared the Logan Airport exit ramp. She had just secured a $15 million endowment for the performing arts department and she was buzzing from the high. Edward knew that what Victoria liked most about her job as Development Director for the Boston Arts Consortium was the challenge of getting big name donors. She loved the gilded parties, the elite socializing, the "thrill of the hunt" as she had once described it. "Big Game Only" was her motto and she was good at delivering.
He reached her house before he had even registered having driven that far. Slowly, Edward became aware that Victoria had stopped talking, but he couldn't remember when. He hoped she hadn't asked him a direct question.
"What's going on, Edward? You haven't heard a single word I've been saying."
"Nothing, Victoria, I'm just tired. It's been a long week."
Victoria stared at Edward for a few moments in the dark. He looked tired, but that wasn't what was bothering her. She had been traveling most of the month she knew, but the distant look in Edward's eyes felt strangely familiar.
"Is there something wrong? You didn't mention anything on the phone."
In truth, even if he had wanted to mention anything he wouldn't have been able to. Victoria talked without ceasing whenever they had been on the phone, which suited him perfectly because the one thing he really wanted to talk about, he couldn't tell her.
"No, Victoria. I'm fine, just having trouble sleeping."
"I can fix that, you know," she smirked, deciding to believe that all was well, that he was just tired. Victoria had never been a person who was comfortable talking about feelings. As she placed her hand on his leg, she began to relax. This she knew. This she could do.
The sensation of Victoria's touch brought Edward fully alert, not with the pleasure of arousal but with the shock of his vague sense of repulsion. Edward stared at her hand sliding up his leg and realized with absolute clarity that he did not want her to touch him.
Panic set in. What would he tell her? He knew very well what she expected him to do next. Edward had always been a very sexual person. It was one of the things they had in common. To turn down Victoria's advances would be unprecedented in their relationship, a sure red sign that something was indeed VERY WRONG with them.
The panic made his mind freeze as her hand advanced. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Victoria's smile widen, apparently mistaking his shock for arousal. She couldn't have been more wrong. The trail of sensation she was leaving on his leg made his skin crawl. He closed his eyes to suppress a shudder.
"Have I been away that long?" Victoria chuckled.
Think…think, Edward yelled to himself. Four more inches and she would know she had been sorely mistaken about the effect she was having on him. It already felt like his dick wanted to run and hide.
"It does feel like it's been a long time," Edward muttered. His voice was low and slightly shaken.
Victoria's phone rang just as she lifted her hand to palm his crotch. Edward almost choked to suppress his gasp of relief.
"Shit," Victoria muttered as she pulled her hand away to search for her phone in her purse.
Edward opened his eyes slowly, thanking heaven and earth for saving him from his own stupidity. He needed to get home so he could think and sort out what the hell was happening to him.
"Tia, did you get my text? I know, I know. I'm amazing," Victoria teased. "He just wrote the check…..I swear, I didn't have to promise him my first born or anything…. Yeah…wait…Listen, hold on."
Victoria covered the phone and turned to Edward. "Do you mind, sweetie? Tia and I have a ton of follow-up from this trip and I want to debrief with her while its all fresh."
"Of course…of course. You go ahead. I'll see you soon," Edward babbled in relief, but Victoria was already out of the car and talking to her assistant as she headed for her front door. Edward took his time getting her bags out of the car, maintaining a safe distance behind her. Safe enough, he hoped, to let her get fully involved in her conversation, so that when he reached the door there would be no time for a long drawn out goodbye, or more specifically, a long drawn out kiss. He tried to imagine enjoying the feel of her tongue in his mouth and couldn't. She was already in the kitchen when he made it to the front door. He placed her suitcase in the foyer just as she turned around.
"Sorry," she mouthed and blew him a kiss. He waved goodbye, closing the door behind him before taking the stairs two at a time back to his car. He hoped he hadn't seemed too happy.
It was a twenty minute drive from Victoria's home to his house. Edward made it home in seven. As he pulled into the garage, he felt his body begin to unleash the panic he'd been holding in all evening. He began to sweat, even though the night was unusually cold. Not here, he thought, make it into the house first.
Once inside, he collapsed on his couch, the thoughts and words from earlier today that had pierced his self-control came rushing to the forefront of his mind.
"Are you cheating on Victoria?"
"Man, you look like you're half crazy. You look like you're in love."
In love.
In love.
Is that what this is? Is that what I feel? he wondered. For the past month, he had just been doing what he wanted to do, following the curiosity and the feeling that writing Bella brought out in him. He had not thought to analyze it (which was strange for him) because it felt so natural – so right – like taking her in and letting her do the same was the way they were meant to be.
The thought made him smile. Nothing had ever felt that way to him but music. His love for music came to him from a place so deep he never questioned it. It was the same place that Bella touched in him, the same place where his love for her now took hold.
"I'm falling in love with you, Bella," Edward murmured softly, feeling his chest expand as he said the words. "I love you."
At that moment, he missed her so much his eyes began to sting. His skin burned with the need to touch her, to feel what he loved, warm and soft against him. Unconsciously, he rolled towards the back of the couch, pulling one of the plush pillows into his arms.
"I love you, Bella…finally, I've found my heart." Releasing the pillow, he rose from the couch. He needed to tell her now.
I love you was all he wrote. He didn't need to say anything else. But as Edward sealed the envelope that contained his simple message and prepared to make the trip to Manhasset, he heard Jasper's question again in his mind.
"Are you cheating on Victoria?"
Yes, he thought. He knew now the answer was yes.
I think Shakespeare said it best, "How do you love me? Let me count the reviews!" Ha! Is it plagiarism if the misquote is this bad? You could always write me a review and let me know..:-)