Chapter 8

The day of the show came, ironically on the anniversary of when I first phased. My pieces were scattered throughout the gallery, the largest one displayed prominently at the bottom of the stairs just inside the entrance. In spite of glancing toward the door every two seconds to see if Collin had come in yet, I was really enjoying myself, getting to talk nonstop about art. People were fascinated, not repulsed, by my drawings and the explanations I gave.

Collin had been nearby all night; I could feel his tug. I wasn't sure why he had waited to come in, but I was glad he had. After an hour of such affirming conversations about something I not only enjoyed but also was good at it, I was ready for Collin to see me too. He walked in, catching my eye and smiled. I wanted to run up to him right then but I was in the middle of talking to one of the La Push elders.

Jake and Nessie came in later with Embry, who was of course exercising his bragging rights to the fullest. It was good to see Nessie after all this time. The frantic need I had always felt before when she was around – the desperate hope that since she could hold together all the pieces of her crazy life, maybe she could do the same for me –

wasn't there at all. Strangely we were on equal footing, even as exposed as I was in this moment. Watching her with Jake only made me all the more anxious to go and find Collin.

I saw him still near the front of the gallery, having not moved past my initial piece. I went and stood next to him.

"That night, when we sat together with our paws overlapping, it put everything else in perspective. That's why all those circling lines threatening to come in and destroy the serenity of the moment, can't get through. They're in a different plane; they're no longer part of us." After a moment I added, "This one's not being auctioned tonight. It's for you, when the exhibit is done."

He turned to say something but a woman from the gallery came bustling up interrupting us just then to tell me I needed to meet someone from Makah who had just arrived. I smiled apologetically at Collin enjoying how normal it felt, and allowed myself be dragged away, mouthing to him that I'd talk to him later.

After the awards had been given, the auction closed, and a speech heard by the elders from both Makah and La Push, the gallery finally began emptying out. My mom was one of the last to leave. I was shocked when she had told me last week that we were going shopping in Port Angeles so we could both have new dresses to wear to the event. She never came to things in the community. I had thought at most she would slip in and out. But I soon realized she planned to not only bring me to the event but also stay the entire time. She was right there in front when they gave me my award, clapping as loud as Embry. For most of the evening she was my shadow, listening carefully as I explained about the different pieces, taking my hand from time to time as I think she realized if not that I was literally the wolf in the pictures, that metaphorically the wolf symbolized my own childhood struggles.

The pain never completely left her eyes that evening; and yet it was the happiest I had ever seen her. I'm not sure if it was just the fact that I was the one being honored, or if my drawings helped her cope with her own ever-present grief, but for that night she was able to put her regrets aside so she could see and validate my own.

She left with Embry and I told them I would see them at home. Collin wasn't there but I knew he was still close by. I wanted to go find him. Walking toward the woods, I thought at first he might have phased, which worried me; as though in spite of what tonight was supposed to represent, all he could now see was the hidden Mandy behind a wolf. My fear was unfounded though. I heard and saw him at the same time, step out from the edge of the trees and come to meet me.

He smiled widely. "I don't know what to say."

He didn't need to say anything. His unconcealed delight said everything. I grabbed his hand as naturally as if we'd been walking this way for years.

"Did you like the one I did for you?"

"As if you have to ask Mandy. You captured the emotion so well. I'm just in awe." He lifted up my hand and brushed it lightly across his lips and then continued, "I'm glad we didn't lose the last three years to memories. Even the painful ones deserve to be captured in those dark chaotic lines around us. They may be held at bay, but they also give us shape. It wasn't just Quileute history I saw tonight. It was ours. It was you."

I smiled. He was right. Instead of getting the normal life I had always imagined, I ended up loving the life I had and the people in it. All the pain and confusion that until recently was all I could see, was actually just another part of a much bigger picture, a much bigger person: me.

"Thank you. Thank you for sticking with me Collin."

He stopped and slowly brought our intertwined hands up between us, pulling me closer to him. Studying our hands for a moment, he exhaled slowly, "Thank you Mandy."

It was déjà vu. I was back in my dream, but there wasn't any need now to wake up when our eyes met. At last we saw each other and together we could face anything, even ourselves.

THE END

Postscript

Mandy and Collin go on to earn their MD/PhDs together at the University of Washington, specializing in genetics. Afterwards, they return to La Push, set up their own lab, and teach middle school and high school science. They are the pack doctors. They have three kids and one of them likes to draw with Mandy. They all still annoy Uncle Brady with the Periodic Table of the Elements when they can.

End Note

The vampire scent Mandy and Collin smell is a new vampire the Volturi have acquired as part of their guard. He has a talent for disguising his scent into his surroundings. So Brady is actually right in his guess when he teases Mandy about a disappearing vampire thinking like the forest. Caius is hoping to use this new vampire and a special elite force to go in and start wiping out the werewolves.

When Mandy and Collin catch his scent, he is actually just in the trees above them, but is alone so doesn't want to be caught by the two of them. Instead he goes back to Volterra and makes his report. Caius is pleased that his attempt to get that close to the werewolves worked, because he knows Alice Cullen is still monitoring the Volturi's movements.